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- 11/02/2003
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She said: It gives me a sense that I'm actually taking up some space in your heart. And..the truth is that..I'm planning on to stay..
He said: That's good....because I wasn't planning on letting you go..
07.14.06
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To You.
Maybe this is just a coincidence.
I came back to this page, reading those words that had made my heart skipped a beat years ago and still do even now.
07.14.2006
07.14.2010
4 years from how everything really started.
4 months from when we had said our good-byes.
I hate to admit how I still wonder how you're doing.
How I still see and hear things that remind me of you anywhere and everywhere I go.
I still smile when I think of things we've said, the sound of your laughter, and most of all, all those silly things we've planned and imagined. Both past and future.
I was at Hallmark, flipping through cards for a friend's birthday, which happens to be the one, and the only one, that supported me and stood by my side when I met you. Instead of telling me that I was crazy for buying phone cards after phone cards just to call a boy miles away, that I've never met, and don't even know what he looks like.
I came across a card, quite cute, it had two rabbits, rambling on "Thinking about you" in irregular phrases and annoying off-pitches. I thought, "Imagine the smile on his face and how he'll laugh if he were to receive this card..." And what I'd write on the mini post-it notes to stick onto the front of the card before you open it.
Then the song of Chicken Dance made me turn my head, a girl was holding a card, while the card loudly projected the beats that I've danced to on a tiny webcam.
But now that I am home, sitting in front of this laptop which consists of memories. I know we are over, since the minute you told me I was rambling, and said "Bye" in a hurried and annoyed fashion.
I know it's my fault.
I know this is what I deserve.
Just sometimes, I wish that I could go back to how everything was 4 years ago. When I'm sitting in front of that old and moody desktop. Room drenched in darkness with my only light source from the monitor screen. With Yahoo IM opened up to the message window of you and me.
Going back to when I'm lying on my bed, just listening to you and your friends chatting away, with me sometimes saying "Did you hurt yourself again?" "Don't get hurt!"
With me crying and telling you that I do love you when the distance started synching in and suffocated me, knowing you were miles away, and near impossible to meet.
The love was real, but so were the pain and scars.
This may be the best for both of us.
To say good-bye and just remember what we had.
It's just hard to bear the fact that when "Good-Bye" is said, it really is the last of everything.
There are so many questions I'd like to ask. Where you are now, whether if you're okay, how's school, your health, your mom, and Jango. How's everything with Z? With Robert? With Margie and Gia?....Have you found someone that's really worth your love and make you smile yet? Have you decided to pursuit your dreams in culinary? Are you still thinking of opening a bar/club some day? Buying a loft style home some day? Proposing with a Tiffany engagement ring in repeatedly wrapped and placed gift boxes within gift boxes?
But I know, all those questions are held to a stop by a Good Bye, and that single Good Bye is all I'll ever get and hold onto.
Gaia is where everything started, and now that you no longer step onto here.
I suppose Gaia is where everything will come to a period.
Do you think, that everything would've been better when it was just left at Devi and Wolfie?
It was a lot simpler....a lot simpler than Vicky and Ryan.
07.14.2010.
11:32 PM.
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She said: It gives me a sense that I'm actually taking up some space in your heart. And..the truth is that..I'm planning on to stay..He said: That's good....because I wasn't planning on letting you go.. [/color:2da156043d][/size:2da156043d][/align:2da156043d]
07.14.06
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Love isn't finding the perfect person. It's seeing an imperfect person perfectly...
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