sigh.... well well.. A LOT has happened my dear... long story short..
* the annoying one.. yeah, i don't have anything to do wih him anymore. i couldn't keep up with all his insecurities and lies, so.. i know for a fact that he's not a bad person, but he's just not right for me.
* the old friend whom i recconnected with.. well yeah, he's divorced and has 2 underaged daughters, so yeah, those are his responsabilities..
i another turn of events... this month has been FULL of surprises.
it turns out he confessed to me that he wants to be my GIRLFRIEND, not my boyfriend, but that in the same way he doesn't feel ready for any relationship yet so he..? (by this time idk how to call him anymore i swear) asked me for some time and space to clear his head.. sigh* girl.. i swear i wont fall for ANYYYYYY person, except for my fictional book characters. those never betray me. like.. ever.
im so.. pissed off? i mean, i was kinda ready to try him(her) out, like give it a chance y'know.. you don't know what may happen, but then he backs off and gets all indecisive. i mean i get it, yes, he's scared, he's afraid and he actually has a few super valid points to be. he could actually loose his visiting rights to his dughters bc of that, but, idk.. i feel again pretty much like left alone...sigh**
aaanyway... i'm determined to focus on myself and on those stupid annoying debts of hell.. and nothing else but myself. i guess this is a pretty messed up way for the universe to tell me "noup, your not ready yet" ooor it's way to tell me "you're destinied to be a foreveralone for the rest of your humanity" (o hell yes. im determined to be reborn into a dragon.
in other news, i already talked it off with the other guy who annoyed me.
made it super clear that we are not in any relationship nor any kind of flirty fantasy of his and that i honestly dont even see him as a partner prospect.
Gosh.. he talked s**t behind my back, almost made my brother and my best friend break up (they are bf/gf) and told my mom idk how many bs about me just bc i rejected him.
and he insists he is the victim. ugh.. i can't even..
so when he learned i met my old friend he got super jealous and accused me of sluttery. pft.. i just laughed and said. i don't even remember we were anything at all in the first place.
we tried, yes, for many months at that, but it didn't work out at all, we didn't see each other nor talked to eack other for more than a year, and your attittude and insecurities frankly annoys me.
well we hinda hit it off!!
we've been talking a little... and kissing a lot? XD
lol but, still, we both have it clear with each other. he has his responsabilities and i have my aspirations, so, we decided to just go with the flow as slowly as we can and enjoy the ride
hi there. i'm glad you have joyous times.
hmm what can i say. i'm kinda on a hiatus from life? lol
in another news.. i kinda reconected with a guy friend i hadn't seen in about 20+ years?
i mean. we lost contach right after his first son was born.. now that baby has 20 years? like omg wtf..
and now, after 2 more broke marriages, 2 more daughters and A LOT of twists and turns, we seem to be catching up..
sigh*. now, if i was holdin a tiiiiny little ray of hope about me finding THE ONE, now i'm super uber convinced that in this life, i'm destinied to be forever alone XC
hi babe, well. i can actually understand your pain, and i can tell you it's not gonna be easy, but i also can tell you've got this, and i'm sure you woll get through, just keep pushing a little longer and hang o emotion_bigheart
heartheartheart4laugh4laugh OOOO MAAAAI GAAAAWWSH SO MANY GIFTIEEEEEES!!!!!!! TENKIUUUUUUU!!!! 4laugh
wow!! thank you so much my sweety pie- how have you been?
i've had a heeeell of a month LOL!! i know i was absent for a very very long time, but believe me, between work and life actually happenning i feel like barely survivimg Xp
now it happens i have an actual chance to ask for a transfer to the store i want, but now im not that sure anymore, taking into account that i got tiny bit attached to the supervisor. she's kinda cute in her own way
i happen to have a crush on one of my former colegues at my new job, but he doesn't know about my existence XD he's just a nice person lol. i guess he will never know about it Xp.
my hand is healing slowly... still can't close it properly XC but oh well, at least i'm functional now XD
sigh* i kinda so much as despise my new boss. he's arrogant and sissy, and his partiality towards another of my co-workers is astonishingly obvious, so its annoying to work with them.
i've wanted to denounce my boss to his boss, but i'm scared about the retaliation from my boss if he ever knows that it was me the one who told on him
... then, don't you think it's time to pay less atention to men and more atention to yourself?
i believe you don't need nor deserve any kind of pain, and even less if it comes due to a brute brainless male XC.
**sigh**... well... i have been... mmm.. breathing? XD
lol. idk if i told you but a few weeks ago i got my phone stolen by a dude in a motorcycle, i didn't know who he was nor saw his face, but he robbed me while i was paying stuff at a convenience store. it was tragic, and i still miss my phone some times, it had special and useful apss installed that are not available or not existent anymore.
anyway, last week mom helped me with the deposit for a new one as a bd gift (my bday's sunday), so the phone's price was around 300 US dollars, mom helped me with half of it and i'll be paying it off in installemnts for the next 2 yrs XT. at least i liked it and i'm pretty much satisfied with this new one.
Aside of that... i'm trying this new money-saving method that my bro suggested? i'm trying it out and see if i can get to better manage my income, because i always find myself struggling for money, so, i've been scheduling all payments weekly.
til now, i'm very much still with no money left after my weekly payment, but at least i haven't left any debt unpaid. it will go on like this for almost mid-november, but if it all goes as planned, i'll be debt-free by the end of this year and i'll be able to start fresh with some little emergency-savings by next one, so i'm feeling a little bit less stressed.
my job? i hate it.
i somehow manage to tolerate it bc i don't feel it as burdensome as other jobs, but i end up dead-tired and stress-consumed by the end of the day XC
i guess once i've saved enough money i'll quit. i'm definitely not suited to be a cashier.
Anyway it may sound pretty apocalyptic what i'm gonna say, but i don't really expect to live long. really. i absolutely despise the sole idea. so maybe just 1 or 2 more decades will do. who knows? maybe a zombie apocalypse breaks out and i die first gaia_zurg
wow, so nice! sigh.. i'd like to see some photos lol.
news from my side.. my hone was stolen a few ays ago. now im phoneless and incomunicated XC
to make it worse, all my cards are linked to my phone so i had to block them all and now i'm pennyless too XC
hi there sweetie~~ thanks a buuunch~ emotion_bigheart
i'm good... i mean, aside of the ups and downs, i'm surviving lol
lately i've been windowshopping a lot... i mean, aside of the soooooo strongly urges to want EVERYTHING CUTE OR DELICIOUS, you can actually watch and look for free XD talk2hand
lol well yeah, i get your point fairly enough. i honestly wouldn't be able to truly made all those innocent animals dissappear.
aanyway.. *sigh* i just feel very frustrated and let down. so much i can't bare with myself, and not because of one mistake, but because om my general state and all the reasond that lead to that one mistake.
in any case, i wanna turn myself into a capibara and ride crocos emotion_bigheart~
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