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omgpeeps Report | 10/17/2024 1:25 am

*Second comment because mine was too long lol sorry mrgreen

I do also finally feel imposterism a bit admittingly because I'm not married, don't have my own house or car, and haven't completed my degree yet. Although I know I have done everything I can to get these things with the cards I was given and I would like them if possible. But I think that's enough I know there was a lot I wrote about, and there's probably even more but yeah I won't overwhelm you lol.



I could try making a list of my achievements and great thngs I've done for affirmation smile . It is a shame that I feel the need for others approval sometimes to feel accomplished, but I guess that unfortunately also a part of competing with others. I think a bit of this approval also comes from all the times I've been ghosted and excluded by former friends. Luckily this has not occurred recently though.



I will try to work towards feeling deserved =) I hope I don't sound like a victim I'm not trying to. Stay strong as well as I try to find my path smile have a great night (or morning!).

omgpeeps Report | 10/17/2024 1:23 am

Thank you for the heartfelt advice and understanding. I'm glad you acknowledge the true level of judgmentalness people have nowadays I feel like it's impossible to avoid no matter how good and well-rounded of a person I try to be especially coming from someone who hasn't gotten opportunities in life easily. I do want to believe that I'll be seen the way I should someday. I believe it will happen eventually. And yeah I do imagine that a lot of people only portray themselves as happy for others satisfaction and approval, sometimes even accomplishments people boast about probably have an unhappy side to them. i feel like people are also too scared to stand out and go outside of the box in terms not following societies conventions and norms.








And YES competition is at an insanely high level right now, I've also realized that from applying to internships too.








And ahh well it's complicated but there are a lot of reasons why I feel imposterism. The first is that I feel like I do not fit the expected mold for an adult women of my age and it seems like many other women are unwilling to accept and treat me like a mature adult or accept me into their social circle, and they often exclude me for reasons related to this despite the fact I act very responsible and work hard even though I do not have the materialistic achievements people expect at my age. Also I do like a lot of feminine things but other people often don't see me as feminine. I also do not have the most feminine appearance.








Also because people had very low expectations of me growing up and I've always and often been mistaken as stupid by others, but then when I prove otherwise people end up being jealous and resenting me for it and thinking I don't deserve my success and they try to beat me down. Or thinking it means I must be disobedient and mean. But hell I sure went above and beyond to try and escape the expectations of failure, and it did eventually work. Also because some people in my family don't seem to approve my career path and keep insisting I don't have the brains for it and that they know I'm better suited to something "else" even though I've shown inferior achievement in those other domains. Also because I've faced sexism and microaggressions from trying to pursue my interests in STEM at university it can be hard to stay motivated with a lack of encouragement from others and also unconscious bias and the feeling that I may never have the recognition a man would have. I also feel alienated because I've always gotten along with men better than women too, and I have tried to imagine what my life would be like as a man many times and my desire for that assumption of competence and power. Not to mention having gotten sexually degrading comments from men.








I also feel imposterism because based on where I was from and the fact that I'm white, people expect that I was handed everything and must have had a rich family and an easy time but that was not the case for me and it caused a lot of issues in my life but people almost never believe me about it unless if they grew up with similar obstacles. So people seem to think that because I had to work low wage jobs for years to help my family that that must be what I'm suited for for the rest of my life, and people always assume I had to drop out of university originally because of being lazy and failing and not because of financial issues. I face a lot of marginalization and lack of empathy over these things from people even though they really should no matter and people should just focus on their own lives lol, but in a competitive status-based world these things do matter to pretentious people. I know some of my family members really want and wanted me to find a partner and they are sad I haven't and are worried about me working super hard and never being given a chance.











I do also finally feel imposterism a bit admittingly because I'm not married, don't have my own house or car, and haven't complet

omgpeeps Report | 09/30/2024 9:19 pm

3nodding 3nodding Hi there thank you for your concern and interest mrgreen I unfortunately have not had anything amazing happen yet in my life, but I keep dreaming and hoping for it to come. And yeah there are a bunch of things I could vent about, including my frustrations with my school and where I'm living right now are really not right for me and I think it's making me more unhappy by a day something here always seems to be broken. I'm also desperately trying to get an internship but I have not had much look. I'm gonna try a career fair soon but I hope that goes ok, I have not had overwhelmingly positive experiences at career fairs in the past. But there will be some companies there I'm very excited to interact with! I'm also starting to worry more about getting older and the fact that a number of people still refuse to treat me like an actual adult for no good reason just because I haven't hit the "milestones" they expect and I like "fun" things despite the fact I always act super mature and work hard and do everything I can to make things right it gets very demoralizing and tiring. I'm honestly somewhat depressed also since I haven't been able to make any good IRL close connections in my new area never the less most people on my life don't support my passions or believe in me. I've also been having sleeping problems. But despite this I still try to enjoy things when I can and make the most of every day but I rarely smile about much. I have been enjoying some new games and DNA stuff haha.

I've also been trying to explore new places as well.

Also opportunities here in all realms are just not as good as opportunities were back in my old hometown. It's going to take me some time to adjust to this. You have to work harder for less here.

I also have a big issue with imposter syndrome. And people often having a lack of sympathy and assuming I must have grown up privileged and rich. Maybe once I find people to talk to of similar backgrounds though I can get a better and more fair perspective.

Not sure if you relate to any of this but I trust that you'll be understanding mrgreen

Anyways that's probably enough for this comment! Have a good night and take care mrgreen

omgpeeps Report | 06/24/2024 9:46 pm

That's great! I'm happy for you =). I honestly have not been doing that great, things in recent years have not always gone in the direction I was hoping and I'm not where I want to be currently....but I have been making progress and working towards my goals! I don't like to be negative though but yeah I haven't been super happy. I moved not long ago and I'm not sure if it was the right thing to do anymore. I'll update you though once something amazingly awesome happens smile . Have a good night! mrgreen

omgpeeps Report | 05/21/2024 6:56 pm

My old comments here haha goodness xd hope you are doing well and swell mrgreen

omgpeeps Report | 10/16/2018 8:52 pm

wink Lol It's either the light pink sweater or a light pink sports bra (both my all time favorite colors). And the candy store was just a huge store with fun merchandise too! And I bought makeup but also got a makeup session done for a makeup beginner like me! wink And learned about makeup I never knew about too! mrgreen .

omgpeeps Report | 10/15/2018 3:28 pm

heart mrgreen Aww thanks cool! I did have a pretty epic birthday buying some nice clothes, eating good new food, getting a makeover, and finding a wild new candy shop!! ;D wahmbulance

omgpeeps Report | 10/10/2018 8:12 pm

I sure hope it is too although it will be a lonely birthday and I don't think I'll get any cards or gifts but oh well I'm ready to live with that, I will be going on an city adventure though. And I actually got a 23andme DNA test telling me my ancestry composition and other things with some interesting unexpected components on it ;D. And Nespresso is an Nestle brand ;D I like a lot of the different coffee pods they offer!

omgpeeps Report | 10/09/2018 6:14 am

Working a new position at my job, getting a Nespresso machine, and planning for my birthday right now and looking up things on DNA other than that not a lot.

omgpeeps Report | 10/08/2018 8:59 pm

pirate I'm doing pretty well! Just trying to find new horizons and work opportunities in my lonely worrisome life. wink