Details
- Last Login
- 10/02/2008 5:53 pm
- Member Since
- 07/27/2007
- Occupation
- Student
Wish List
About
I'm feeling rather ugly today.
:]
Am a-hurtin' inside ...
I need to ******** change my gears
But after all of this tension built through the years
I don't know if I can take it
I don't know if I can break it
Change it
Fake it
Make it ...
Rest in Peace
Cousin Dean
Great Aunt Sye
My name is Sojourn Harper Captain Sodomy.
[NOT REAL NAME. ;D]
I'm eighteen.
I've been on Gaia since 2003.
I role-play, but can be quite picky.
As long as it's not strictly romance, I'm up for suggestions.
I like lurking in threads rather than posting.
I draw, but it depends a lot on my mood.
I read a lot.
I write a lot, too.
I'm a freshman in college.
I like discontinuity.
I'm easily inspired by little things and less so by larger ones.
The wind pushing a dandelion will inspire me.
People touch me, but I'd rather not touch them.
I love metaphors.
Black and blue are my favorite shade and color respectively.
What do I want for my birthday?
[may 21]
= 3=
White/Grey/Light-blue/Black items for my avatar
OR...
Wishlist items
OR...
White/Grey/light-blue items for my house.
OR...
Your underwears to put in my house.
;D
/mmmsexaytimeftw/
Currently Questing;;
Were Tail
2k / 18k
[[Upcoming Quest; S Gaia Tshirt]]
DONATORS!!! ;D
The Sharpie Sniffer - 2k ;D You so made my day.
Iteration - Aquatica @///< -squeeziehug- <3 <3 ;-;
Glyzir Van Pior - Scar of Duelist ; 3; /hugstight/ <3
headless balloon - 5k 10k! 20k!!! @wo /cling/ Thank you!!!! <3 <3 ;-; /dies
Mad--Molly - Pixie O_O ....I think my heart just stopped. <3 <3
Blue the Unicorn - 5k I luff you cousin! x3
Isabella Malfoy - Single Yellow Daffodil Bouquet x33 Thank you! <3
Koejii Todd - Let it Snow DDD:!! <3 <3 //hugglesnug Thank yew~ <3
The Green Everything - 1k [going towards my Mandark cosplay] :DD Thank yew~ x3 //huggles
Onyx Resurrected - Green Corallus Egg O:!!! <3 <3 //squeezyhug Thank you~~
Anonymous benefactor - Ubi Fan :33 Thank yew~ x3
New Romantic - Sharp Fish Teeth :DDD Much appreciated. x3 I feel teh love. <3 <3
Tengu no Rotoki - One Daisy && 3k :D Thank you very much. //hugs And thanks for reading, too.
Anonymous benefactor - Heart Shaped Box of Sweets DDDD': //hugglesnug <3
ART!!! ;D
Twinnie and I offline. :] - Taru is a Good Boy
Harper is a butterfly. <3 - Tsuki2255
He looks so evil. <3 - S h i r a c h
A SoyJoy candy bar. <3 <3 - ain3
;D A nice sketched headshot. <3 - Bunnietenou
Such a pretty headshot. <3 - Xepherusi
Oh, yeah. He is totally "all that". ;D - Crazydude78
@////< Harper and [Divinus] <3 <3 – [Divinus]
I am VERY aware that I am sexy. Now what do you want. - Free Art
:D Fishie! - Free Art
I look happy! - Free Art
Smile. :] - Free Art
Backshot. :]] - Free Art
Those cookies over there look pretty good... - S p e r m o l i g i s t
Omg, so cute. :] - Lonely in Gorgeous Tears
A banner for me. <3 - K aren
Harper as a chicken. xD <3 - QueenWink
;D Flutterfish, ftw. <3 - iLatitude
That is one sexy stick-fish - Aiden Rasine
Aww, Harper is blushing! - K-lakie
I crown you Prince of the Narwhals. <3 - Lukas Lunn
MMYAHBBY. Lots of love to my twinnie. - B l i n d - Anti_H_ero
Such a cute little chibi. <3 <3 - fcukin_fumbduck
Oooh, the Narwhal is a smokin. ;D - Auvise
Chibi! :3 -
:]] Blue! -
Sojo post decor~ :D -
@wo Such a cute little merboy~ = 3= - [Kirimasu__]
Sojo memo! ;D -
O: Detailed headshot. :] -
I lawled. :] - i n n u e n d o`
I am pretty. :] -
nom nom nom. I R Zombie Fish. :B -
Me and twinnie. x3 So cute - Cassius Black
/stare, which means "We're busy. What do you want." :] - xSadistic-x-Bunniex
Chillaxin, eh? :] I love me my twinnie. - Social-Suicide-13
Mmmyeah. We are too sexy...B] - Glyf
We have sexy-time now. -
Mmyah. :] Us togezzur - The New Age Melancholic
A cute little chibi! <3 - F l u f f y C a n d i e
O: DEAD sexy. :] - Wounded Glory
:D So friendly. <3 - Aiden_xxx
:D Pretty lineart. <3 - Siriac3 [That's what it's signed as. D: I don't actually remember who made it. //hoping it's right.]
Aww, he looks sad. - Livelifebeautifully
:D He looks so evil. <3 <3 -
:D Cute pencilled face. :3 - imagen world peace
:3 Mmmyeah. ;] - Demichu
A precious MSPaint doodle. :3 - Kasaiyuri
Okay. This is what happens when I take too long to update this and forget who drew them.
; ---;
If you were the one who drew any of the arts without an artist, please tell me.
x_x
I'll fix it.
Sorrie~
; --;
A NOT SO APOLOGETIC APOLOGY
I'm sorry if I'm a pain in the a**.
I'm sorry if I'm whiney.
I'm sorry if I don't understand, sometimes I just can't grasp an idea.
I'm sorry if I can't be there or sympathize at all.
I'm sorry if I hurt you at all with harsh words spoken without a second thought.
I'm sorry if I held you close and then pushed you away.
I'm sorry if I'm ignoring you now.
I'm sorry if I ever do.
I'm sorry if I care too much.
I'm sorry if you did too.
I'm sorry that I got so high, only so you could watch me fall.
I'm sorry that I'm writing this instead of telling you it all.
But in the end, I'm not really sorry for much. Only a goodbye here and there never said, or a friendship lost to the tides because me, or you, or both of us didn't try. If you read all of that, then you deserve to know. I'm not what you probably think I am. I am a girl, and if you cared to read this, then you have a right to know. I'm sorry if you thought otherwise, or I led you on. It's how I am. I keep my gender to myself unless you're on my friendslist. For the most part, I'll tell you, but sometimes I won't. The internet's full of liars. I just happen to be one of them.
I've been told I act like a pretty shitty girl. That statement amuses me, but doesn't do much more than that. Because, honestly, how SHOULD a girl act? "I like flowers. I like pink. I like soft, cuddly things. Ew, I'm not getting dirty. Blah. Blah. Blah." No, thanks. I want door number two. :/ Because in this life, I'd rather not be worrying about my cuticles or slapping on makeup all the time to hide my imperfections. I'm not going to be running around in skimpy tops or mini skirts to get attention. Hell, I don't even want attention. I just want to be known as a human being, and whether people think high of me or not is up to them. I don't care. They could believe me to be the worst person in the entire world, and they're entitled to their opinion. I'm not going to go out of my way to show them wrong. I will, however, prove to myself that I am not that way. I wouldn't be doing it for you. I'd be doing it for me. Just like I'm writing this right now. It's not really for you, the reader. It's for me as a mental note, I suppose.
Considering you got this far, you get to know a bit more about me. My name is Johannah, though I prefer Jo. It's easier and androgynous. The irony of my first and middle names is quite interesting, but I'm not going to go into depth about it. You don't need to know my middle name, though why I gave you my first, I haven't a clue. Whoever you are, I probably don't know you, and you're looking at my profile to get a better view of me. I most certainly hope it's not just people not on my friends list yet that are reading this. Hell, I hope the people on my friends list read this too, because I don't update often, but when I do, I make it count.
My chest's acting strange, so I'm going to have to cut this short. A palpitation of the heart's not something too enjoyable and I wish to be asleep before one starts again. So, I bid you adieu for now. Good afternoon, good evening, good morning. Sleep well, eat well, and be hearty my friends, for this life is a life worth living.
--Jo
P.S.; Want to know a dirty little secret?
I love you.
Whoever you are.
I love you.
I am a first class liar. If I don't want someone to know something about me, THEY WILL NOT KNOW. This really only applies to offline people, but sometimes online people as well. It's not only to protect myself, but it's to protect them as well. If I'm keeping stuff from you, it's not because I don't care about you. It's because I do. There are some people I will just spill my heart to, but that's because I know they can't directly interfere with me. They can tell me to stop, seek help, etcetcetc, but they can't force me to do it themselves. I feel safe in talking to them because they don't see me, know me, or talk to me offline. And I do take their advice to heart. I really, truly, honestly, do. But I don't act on it for the most part just because, deep down, I really don't care what happens to me. Just as long as they're fine. Worrying over me. God. I hate it when people worry over me. I don't deserve it. I don't deserve any of it.
Yes, I know people have it worse in other places. Yes, I know that people have to deal with rape and divorce and abuse and friends/family/people committing suicide. I ******** KNOW. And I DO care. But not everyone was made to survive the same sorts of things. What sorts of experiences you have had until this point in time have made you who you are. What people you meet, what people you didn't. What happened to you, and what was only a hope, a dream, or a nightmare. How you were treated, how you reacted. How you grew up was influenced by everyone and everything in your life. Some people grew up able to deal with certain atrocities much easier than others. That's just how it is. I don't handle s**t well. I just grew up that way. I think of friendship in a different way just like everyone else. For me, friendship doesn't exist unless some sort of pain is brought down upon me. I'm sorry, but that's how it is. If someone hurts me in any way, but then comes back and says "I'm your friend" and treats me nice, I will think of them as my friend. I will. It's been like that all my life. I know I have horrible friends, but I also know I have good buddies. That's why I don't like to throw out the word friends so much. Friends are those who have hurt me and then at least pretended to be nice. Buddies are the ones that have just stuck there no matter what.
For those of you who have managed to get this far, congratulations. I'm astounded that you even bothered to read all this, though, for all I know, you're just checking out the headings of the paragraphs or skimming through. Ah well, it doesn't really matter. However you went about it, you've come this far and are probably expecting another detail. Well, I'm a big fan of Neverwinter Nights. If you have an online account, hit me up. Maybe we'll go crawl through some dungeons together or something. I'm also a big fan of D&D. For those who don't know, that's Dungeons and Dragons. Yes, I watched the shows. And, yes, I do play. It's great fun and a rather social game. For those of you haven't played it yet, you should at least try. Media has a tendency to talk it down and make it seem like it's a lame-a** sort of deal, but it's not. You get better at thinking on the spot and working with people around you. Although keeping stats on your character can be a bit tedious, rolling the dice and seeing a high number pop up just makes the whole "OMG NO, MY CHARACTER'S DYING" thing go away. Our group is made up of about eight or nine people controlling a total of between ten and thirteen characters [not including the DM]. Before we play, we usually have a group meal, whether it be lunch or supper, and then we go to one of two basements and play for a while. Usually our games last for several hours and stretch into early morning. Heh. Over winter break, we were all itching to play. That was one long month, let me tell you.
Anyway, you're probably thinking "********, when will she be done!?" Well, basically, now. However, I will give you one last detail about myself before I bring this to a close. I have never loved someone in that special way in my entire life. Not even a crush. But, there is one person that I hold more dear than any other. Twinnie. If you know the kid, consider yourself lucky. He's the star that shines brightest in the night sky, and when you talk to him, he's bound to make you laugh. I love him sorely as a friend, and I will never forget about him as much as he may want me to. We haven't talked much lately, and I wish that weren't the case. Twinnie, if you're reading this, please, at least drop me a hello. I miss you. I love you. I care about you. And talk to your papa, too. He's as sore about this as I am, if not more. Neither of us is really ready for what is coming, and I'm not entirely sure you are either, but not talking to us ... boy, it just kills us. Really, it does. It's causing the moment we're all waiting for to come early and hit harder than it really should, so, please, talk to us, ne? We love you so much.
-With that, I'm done. Peace.
AIM: alabastertoilet
MSN: johannah_h@hotmail.com
Snapvine
Crushtag
:]
Am a-hurtin' inside ...
I need to ******** change my gears
But after all of this tension built through the years
I don't know if I can take it
I don't know if I can break it
Change it
Fake it
Make it ...
Rest in Peace
Cousin Dean
Great Aunt Sye
My name is Sojourn Harper Captain Sodomy.
[NOT REAL NAME. ;D]
I'm eighteen.
I've been on Gaia since 2003.
I role-play, but can be quite picky.
As long as it's not strictly romance, I'm up for suggestions.
I like lurking in threads rather than posting.
I draw, but it depends a lot on my mood.
I read a lot.
I write a lot, too.
I'm a freshman in college.
I like discontinuity.
I'm easily inspired by little things and less so by larger ones.
The wind pushing a dandelion will inspire me.
People touch me, but I'd rather not touch them.
I love metaphors.
Black and blue are my favorite shade and color respectively.
What do I want for my birthday?
[may 21]
= 3=
White/Grey/Light-blue/Black items for my avatar
OR...
Wishlist items
OR...
White/Grey/light-blue items for my house.
OR...
Your underwears to put in my house.
;D
/mmmsexaytimeftw/
Currently Questing;;
Were Tail
2k / 18k
[[Upcoming Quest; S Gaia Tshirt]]
DONATORS!!! ;D
The Sharpie Sniffer - 2k ;D You so made my day.
Iteration - Aquatica @///< -squeeziehug- <3 <3 ;-;
Glyzir Van Pior - Scar of Duelist ; 3; /hugstight/ <3
headless balloon - 5k 10k! 20k!!! @wo /cling/ Thank you!!!! <3 <3 ;-; /dies
Mad--Molly - Pixie O_O ....I think my heart just stopped. <3 <3
Blue the Unicorn - 5k I luff you cousin! x3
Isabella Malfoy - Single Yellow Daffodil Bouquet x33 Thank you! <3
Koejii Todd - Let it Snow DDD:!! <3 <3 //hugglesnug Thank yew~ <3
The Green Everything - 1k [going towards my Mandark cosplay] :DD Thank yew~ x3 //huggles
Onyx Resurrected - Green Corallus Egg O:!!! <3 <3 //squeezyhug Thank you~~
Anonymous benefactor - Ubi Fan :33 Thank yew~ x3
New Romantic - Sharp Fish Teeth :DDD Much appreciated. x3 I feel teh love. <3 <3
Tengu no Rotoki - One Daisy && 3k :D Thank you very much. //hugs And thanks for reading, too.
Anonymous benefactor - Heart Shaped Box of Sweets DDDD': //hugglesnug <3
ART!!! ;D
Twinnie and I offline. :] - Taru is a Good Boy
Harper is a butterfly. <3 - Tsuki2255
He looks so evil. <3 - S h i r a c h
A SoyJoy candy bar. <3 <3 - ain3
;D A nice sketched headshot. <3 - Bunnietenou
Such a pretty headshot. <3 - Xepherusi
Oh, yeah. He is totally "all that". ;D - Crazydude78
@////< Harper and [Divinus] <3 <3 – [Divinus]
I am VERY aware that I am sexy. Now what do you want. - Free Art
:D Fishie! - Free Art
I look happy! - Free Art
Smile. :] - Free Art
Backshot. :]] - Free Art
Those cookies over there look pretty good... - S p e r m o l i g i s t
Omg, so cute. :] - Lonely in Gorgeous Tears
A banner for me. <3 - K aren
Harper as a chicken. xD <3 - QueenWink
;D Flutterfish, ftw. <3 - iLatitude
That is one sexy stick-fish - Aiden Rasine
Aww, Harper is blushing! - K-lakie
I crown you Prince of the Narwhals. <3 - Lukas Lunn
MMYAHBBY. Lots of love to my twinnie. - B l i n d - Anti_H_ero
Such a cute little chibi. <3 <3 - fcukin_fumbduck
Oooh, the Narwhal is a smokin. ;D - Auvise
Chibi! :3 -
:]] Blue! -
Sojo post decor~ :D -
@wo Such a cute little merboy~ = 3= - [Kirimasu__]
Sojo memo! ;D -
O: Detailed headshot. :] -
I lawled. :] - i n n u e n d o`
I am pretty. :] -
nom nom nom. I R Zombie Fish. :B -
Me and twinnie. x3 So cute - Cassius Black
/stare, which means "We're busy. What do you want." :] - xSadistic-x-Bunniex
Chillaxin, eh? :] I love me my twinnie. - Social-Suicide-13
Mmmyeah. We are too sexy...B] - Glyf
We have sexy-time now. -
Mmyah. :] Us togezzur - The New Age Melancholic
A cute little chibi! <3 - F l u f f y C a n d i e
O: DEAD sexy. :] - Wounded Glory
:D So friendly. <3 - Aiden_xxx
:D Pretty lineart. <3 - Siriac3 [That's what it's signed as. D: I don't actually remember who made it. //hoping it's right.]
Aww, he looks sad. - Livelifebeautifully
:D He looks so evil. <3 <3 -
:D Cute pencilled face. :3 - imagen world peace
:3 Mmmyeah. ;] - Demichu
A precious MSPaint doodle. :3 - Kasaiyuri
Okay. This is what happens when I take too long to update this and forget who drew them.
; ---;
If you were the one who drew any of the arts without an artist, please tell me.
x_x
I'll fix it.
Sorrie~
; --;
A NOT SO APOLOGETIC APOLOGY
I'm sorry if I'm a pain in the a**.
I'm sorry if I'm whiney.
I'm sorry if I don't understand, sometimes I just can't grasp an idea.
I'm sorry if I can't be there or sympathize at all.
I'm sorry if I hurt you at all with harsh words spoken without a second thought.
I'm sorry if I held you close and then pushed you away.
I'm sorry if I'm ignoring you now.
I'm sorry if I ever do.
I'm sorry if I care too much.
I'm sorry if you did too.
I'm sorry that I got so high, only so you could watch me fall.
I'm sorry that I'm writing this instead of telling you it all.
But in the end, I'm not really sorry for much. Only a goodbye here and there never said, or a friendship lost to the tides because me, or you, or both of us didn't try. If you read all of that, then you deserve to know. I'm not what you probably think I am. I am a girl, and if you cared to read this, then you have a right to know. I'm sorry if you thought otherwise, or I led you on. It's how I am. I keep my gender to myself unless you're on my friendslist. For the most part, I'll tell you, but sometimes I won't. The internet's full of liars. I just happen to be one of them.
I've been told I act like a pretty shitty girl. That statement amuses me, but doesn't do much more than that. Because, honestly, how SHOULD a girl act? "I like flowers. I like pink. I like soft, cuddly things. Ew, I'm not getting dirty. Blah. Blah. Blah." No, thanks. I want door number two. :/ Because in this life, I'd rather not be worrying about my cuticles or slapping on makeup all the time to hide my imperfections. I'm not going to be running around in skimpy tops or mini skirts to get attention. Hell, I don't even want attention. I just want to be known as a human being, and whether people think high of me or not is up to them. I don't care. They could believe me to be the worst person in the entire world, and they're entitled to their opinion. I'm not going to go out of my way to show them wrong. I will, however, prove to myself that I am not that way. I wouldn't be doing it for you. I'd be doing it for me. Just like I'm writing this right now. It's not really for you, the reader. It's for me as a mental note, I suppose.
Considering you got this far, you get to know a bit more about me. My name is Johannah, though I prefer Jo. It's easier and androgynous. The irony of my first and middle names is quite interesting, but I'm not going to go into depth about it. You don't need to know my middle name, though why I gave you my first, I haven't a clue. Whoever you are, I probably don't know you, and you're looking at my profile to get a better view of me. I most certainly hope it's not just people not on my friends list yet that are reading this. Hell, I hope the people on my friends list read this too, because I don't update often, but when I do, I make it count.
My chest's acting strange, so I'm going to have to cut this short. A palpitation of the heart's not something too enjoyable and I wish to be asleep before one starts again. So, I bid you adieu for now. Good afternoon, good evening, good morning. Sleep well, eat well, and be hearty my friends, for this life is a life worth living.
--Jo
P.S.; Want to know a dirty little secret?
I love you.
Whoever you are.
I love you.
I am a first class liar. If I don't want someone to know something about me, THEY WILL NOT KNOW. This really only applies to offline people, but sometimes online people as well. It's not only to protect myself, but it's to protect them as well. If I'm keeping stuff from you, it's not because I don't care about you. It's because I do. There are some people I will just spill my heart to, but that's because I know they can't directly interfere with me. They can tell me to stop, seek help, etcetcetc, but they can't force me to do it themselves. I feel safe in talking to them because they don't see me, know me, or talk to me offline. And I do take their advice to heart. I really, truly, honestly, do. But I don't act on it for the most part just because, deep down, I really don't care what happens to me. Just as long as they're fine. Worrying over me. God. I hate it when people worry over me. I don't deserve it. I don't deserve any of it.
Yes, I know people have it worse in other places. Yes, I know that people have to deal with rape and divorce and abuse and friends/family/people committing suicide. I ******** KNOW. And I DO care. But not everyone was made to survive the same sorts of things. What sorts of experiences you have had until this point in time have made you who you are. What people you meet, what people you didn't. What happened to you, and what was only a hope, a dream, or a nightmare. How you were treated, how you reacted. How you grew up was influenced by everyone and everything in your life. Some people grew up able to deal with certain atrocities much easier than others. That's just how it is. I don't handle s**t well. I just grew up that way. I think of friendship in a different way just like everyone else. For me, friendship doesn't exist unless some sort of pain is brought down upon me. I'm sorry, but that's how it is. If someone hurts me in any way, but then comes back and says "I'm your friend" and treats me nice, I will think of them as my friend. I will. It's been like that all my life. I know I have horrible friends, but I also know I have good buddies. That's why I don't like to throw out the word friends so much. Friends are those who have hurt me and then at least pretended to be nice. Buddies are the ones that have just stuck there no matter what.
For those of you who have managed to get this far, congratulations. I'm astounded that you even bothered to read all this, though, for all I know, you're just checking out the headings of the paragraphs or skimming through. Ah well, it doesn't really matter. However you went about it, you've come this far and are probably expecting another detail. Well, I'm a big fan of Neverwinter Nights. If you have an online account, hit me up. Maybe we'll go crawl through some dungeons together or something. I'm also a big fan of D&D. For those who don't know, that's Dungeons and Dragons. Yes, I watched the shows. And, yes, I do play. It's great fun and a rather social game. For those of you haven't played it yet, you should at least try. Media has a tendency to talk it down and make it seem like it's a lame-a** sort of deal, but it's not. You get better at thinking on the spot and working with people around you. Although keeping stats on your character can be a bit tedious, rolling the dice and seeing a high number pop up just makes the whole "OMG NO, MY CHARACTER'S DYING" thing go away. Our group is made up of about eight or nine people controlling a total of between ten and thirteen characters [not including the DM]. Before we play, we usually have a group meal, whether it be lunch or supper, and then we go to one of two basements and play for a while. Usually our games last for several hours and stretch into early morning. Heh. Over winter break, we were all itching to play. That was one long month, let me tell you.
Anyway, you're probably thinking "********, when will she be done!?" Well, basically, now. However, I will give you one last detail about myself before I bring this to a close. I have never loved someone in that special way in my entire life. Not even a crush. But, there is one person that I hold more dear than any other. Twinnie. If you know the kid, consider yourself lucky. He's the star that shines brightest in the night sky, and when you talk to him, he's bound to make you laugh. I love him sorely as a friend, and I will never forget about him as much as he may want me to. We haven't talked much lately, and I wish that weren't the case. Twinnie, if you're reading this, please, at least drop me a hello. I miss you. I love you. I care about you. And talk to your papa, too. He's as sore about this as I am, if not more. Neither of us is really ready for what is coming, and I'm not entirely sure you are either, but not talking to us ... boy, it just kills us. Really, it does. It's causing the moment we're all waiting for to come early and hit harder than it really should, so, please, talk to us, ne? We love you so much.
-With that, I'm done. Peace.
AIM: alabastertoilet
MSN: johannah_h@hotmail.com
Snapvine
Crushtag
Journal
Sojo's Journal
;D Exciting, eh? Ha ha ha.
Multimedia
Signature
[b:9b43f9fc39]Even if I don't know you
I care about you. [/b:9b43f9fc39][/size:9b43f9fc39]
ilu twinnie[/size:9b43f9fc39]
[img:9b43f9fc39]http://i271.photobucket.com/albums/jj130/DaMn-GiirL95/5jpg.jpg[/img:9b43f9fc39]
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