If you theorize that I'm an a*****e then you're probably correct. Collect more evidence and get back to me on that.

I'm Asa. If you want the fluffy feel good stuff, you're in the wrong place. I've got an associate that can help you with that. He's over here. Go bother him, he'll be nice and listen to you and all that fun s**t. I can still talk to you, I guess?

I'm full of all kinds of useless advice but if you want to hear it, drop me a line. I'll link you some cat videos if I have to.

Besides that? Well, ********, I don't know. Go bug Kel or something. He's good for a laugh.