Journal
i love her more…
So this will be my first blog…
Well, let me tell you about the most marked person in my living and that will be my grandma who’s already with Lord Jesus Christ now…i know she’s captivated with Him right now…
To acquaint without prevarication i treasure her more than my mom owing to the fact i confer more time with her rather than with my mom and when i letch for her she’s near…unlike my mom who’s always occupied with her craft yes i know that she’s doing it for us and her love for us persuade her there but is that valid?she doesn’t have time for us…I know she lones for us in Saudi Arabia…why can’t be she selfish for times she has 9 siblings and she currently helps 6 of them who already has a family…why can’t she cut it besides some of them or most them don’t do anything in return…I want to tell her those but what she’s going to tell me maybe is that in the future they’ll do something for our benefit too…fine I won’t cease her for her sustenance with her brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews, grand daughters and grandsons…but what I don’t comprehend is why we are the only one who is sacrificing whenever there are parents’ assembly in our school no one’s present and whenever I procure awards from the academy she’s not there…you can’t blame me if I’m anticipating that she’s not proud of me…I’ve been too emotional and tears where running down my eyes now..ad infinitum happens…
my grandma… how I pray I dissipated much more moments with her…I hope I can share all of my sagas now…maybe I can see her grins again whenever I tell her my adventures…I yearn for her so much whenever she prepares my lunch and helps me in my homework and most of all she made me feel that she’s my real mother…she made me feel that I have a mother…I long for her a lot…yes.. I don’t have my folks around me…my dad?he has his family in Dubai…my mom?there working…we talk anyway once a month…and that’s what i should be please for…
with all these material things i have…this can never replace the love i need from both of my parents…i will exist without this…i always want to be still awake, up to late at night…why?because this is the only time i find tranquility and calmness i was like a live fish fried tossing and turning in my bed…i’m crying until i fall asleep…it makes me release all of the emotions i feel inside..
But then i should be thankful that at least i’ve been with my mom for a year and that was 13 yrs ago 9 months when i’m in her womb and 3 months after the delivery wherein she just rest to let the wounds be healed…
I thank God that I’m still existing in this world…
a blog for mr lola
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