THIS'LL MAKE YOU LOL
57 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART:

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help tou, begin to cry and ask,
Why can't you people just leave me alone?

9. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say PICK ME,PICK ME!!

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream,
NO! NO! It's those voices again!

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, There is no toilet paper in here!

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting, pikachu I choose you!!

17Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.

18Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

19Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.

20Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get to join in.

21Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.

22Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

23Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

24Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.

25When there are people behind you, walk really slow, especially thin narrow aisles.

26Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, “I think we’ve got a Code 3 in Housewares,” and see what happens.

27Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to “10”.

28Play with the automatic doors.

29Walk up to complete strangers and say, “Hi! I haven’t seen you in so long!...” etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.

30While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, “Who buys this crap, anyway?”

31Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you’re taking it for a “test drive.”
32Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.

33Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.

34As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, “Wow. Magic!”

35Test the fishing rods and see what you can “catch” from the other aisles.

36Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

37Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, “...I’m Batman. Come, Robin—to the Batcave!”

38TP as much of the store as possible.

39Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.

40Play with the calculators so that they all spell “hello” upside down.

41When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, “Red Rover!”

42Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., “Do you have any Shnerples here?”

43Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.

44Take bets on the battle described above.

45Nonchalantly “test” the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.

46Hold indoor shopping cart races.

47Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.

48Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.

49Say things like, “Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?”

50Set up a “Valet Parking” sign in front of the store.

51Two words: “Marco Polo.”

52Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle, etc.

53“Re-alphabetize” the CD’s in Electronics.

54When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.

55Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.

56Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.

57Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax.
If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don’t get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.

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Or are planning to do any of these thing