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Right. I'm here now to present to you another topic of discussion, some might call it a rant, but I find saying what I say helps to discuss more, for whomever so chooses it.

As you've probably already figured out by the name of the thread and the poll, it's about gifts and so being demanded. What spurred this semi-random topic of discussion was an article I saw on msn.com about thank you letters in interviews. It basically said "If you want to get hired, write a thank you letter for the interview shortly after it." Nothing wrong there, right? Just being nice for being given the chance to present yourself to your possible future employer, with the possibility of perhaps, who knows.. a job? Just what you want..

Anyways, it went on to say what really ticked me off "Don't tardy with your thank you note," (nothing wrong till here) "employers" (still nothing) "expect" (wait, what?) "it 2-5 days after the interview." Hold up... EXPECT? Doesn't that usually involve an obligation on your part? They EXPECT you to tell them thank you for the interview, or they won't hire you?

The average person would see nothing wrong with that, as expected, but I certainly do. Now, I might be blowing things way off proportion, but seriously... You HAVE to say thanks, or they won't hire you? Now to me, thanks has a lot of value. From what I've seen, people say thanks so that people will stop bugging them. That irks me just a bit, but I guess I can understand and live with that.. But this? For me, "Thank you" means that you're actually grateful for what you're being given or so. Not because you're being forced to, not because you want them to leave you alone, but because you're ACTUALLY thankful.

Though, when parents give things to their kids, they expect them, and even force them to say "thank you". Is that really the way to do it? Surely, it simplifies matters a lot, and makes everyone "happy"... well, 'cept me apparently. They want to raise their little boys and girls to "be nice and polite" and all that ********. Dunno about you, but my "thank you" means that I've acknowledged what you did, and that I'm expressing my feelings about it. Not that I want you to leave me the hell alone about it. I've had many times in my life where people have done things, I have not said "thank you" and have been scorned. I can cite an example, where a certain person decided to go DIRECTLY against what I told them to do, and STILL tried to write up my schedule (I think you can more or less guess who I'm talking about, though you not know this person directly). That person said it took them 2 hours, and that I should be thankful.

Hold up there. I said "DON'T do it", they do it, and I'm supposed to be all happy? Am I seriously the only one who sees something wrong with this? They got all pissy when I refused to do it, citing again and again, and even getting them to agree that I had SAID not to do it. To me, it's a matter of principles. Now certaintly, you might just say "you should have said it, since it shows respect." What? No, it doesn't. It shows I'm being a lying b*****d. I wasn't thankful at all.

Anyways, out of the example, I've shown that saying my thanks means that I'm actually thankful. It's something most people take for granted nowadays, and will, as I've said a lot, expect them to say it and move on with their life. Perhaps it's their way of thinking their little sacrifice is worth it.

If I might just cite another example, the usage of the word favor. Now, it's literally come to the point of: "Hey, can you please do me a favor?" "I'm sorry, I cannot, or do not want to, but not because I hate you or anything." "What? You will do it, or you shall be harmed/punished/whatever." Now, if I care for the person in the least bit, I'd be all glad to do them a favor, right.. right.. yet, if I cannot for whatever reason, or if I don't like them because they're a damn moron, I'm to be in the uncomfortable position. Again, dunno about you, but last time I checked, doing a favor was supposed to be at least "semi-"special, that it be something one would want to do, or would force themselves a bit to please the other because they care, not because they're forced..

Regardless, it brings me to my last subject of this post. The topic of dating and all that jizzjazz, yo. I'm not even going to go on the subject of the fact of chivalry and that some women want MORE respect and all that crap. What I will say is this. I find that if you want something, then it's worth going for it. When you find a person who you truly enjoy the company of, I'm all for trying to know them, date them, love them, marry them, hell.. ******** them as much as you want somewhere between those things. Yet, what I have a problem with is in terms of gratuity. Many people know that I myself have never been in the game, but yet I am *quite* a bit opiniated on the subject (and, thus, loud about it).

You get these males called jackass who abuse females, which almost every sensible person agrees to is being foolish. But also, you get these females who ******** up the mind of the males (and of course, males do so too, but I'm going more on less on known and proven stereotypes which applies to some).

Halt! It seems to me that finding a date, a partner is something special. After all, love is one hell of an emotion if I'm not mistaken. This be my view on it, but certainly if I'd find someone, I'd be at least grateful.

'Round this point, you might notice a bit of contradiction in what I've been saying. About how you should say "thanks" only if you're grateful, but also that finding a partner is something that you should be grateful about. I'm not saying that you should be grateful if you're not. I'm only half saying that it might be a good idea to respect those who ARE grateful. This is a discussion, not a rant after all. What I'm trying to bring up is the argument that gratuity is very different to different people, of course.

So thus, in closure, I've brought down a few points of discussion. -Should one have to be grateful, and "show" it if one is really not? No? Then why is it so in every day lives? -Favors.. has it now become an obligation? -Gratuity in relationships... lost? Surely some people have a certain easy in picking up people. I mean, if being able to get a date would be as simple as asking, without the fact the other person has to like you, it would be a totally situation. Yet, the way it is.. seems like people sometimes forgot some people don't take things for granted, no?

As far as Thank You letters go for a job interview, you send them if you really want the job - and Are thankful that you at least got the interview. For shitty a** jobs that you're only taking because you gotta start with something. No.

Favors -> I HATE it when people say "Can you do me a favor?" and expect a yes or no reply before telling me what they want. As well, when it comes to work, teamwork is kinda necessary (for me anyway) but I feel too often there is a line crossed in terms of "Can you help me with one last client before you go on break?" Etc. Sure, I'm more than willing to help you, but then there's always one more client after that person, and you've already ran out back to take a smoke when I'm not even finished with the original customer!

As far as being grateful in relationships...I'm not sure I quite understand the question but basically, if you're not thankful that this person likes you and wants to go out with you, then you probably should find someone you are thankful about. That's not necesarily like saying "Thanks for deigning to grace me with your awesome presence" so much as letting them know in little ways that you appreciate them. Though I can think of an instance that does irk me in terms of gratuity in significant others. I went to see a concert with a friend, and his friends whom I'd never previously met. One of the girls hadn't told her boyfriend that they were going to a concert, as it was supposed to be a surprise. When she did launch it on him, his reaction was a bit disappointing. Which is Ok, I've never really been a fan of surprises myself. What pissed me off, was that it seemed like this girl went to all that trouble more to get the "Oh Thanks Honey you're wonderful!" than because she wanted to do something nice.

Well, Vendrasil, you are a very disturbed fella; full of crazy ideas and even sillier complexes.

See, you have to forget about all these things you call "logic" or "reason" and ablige by the common people's term of "boobies fix all". Follow that path, and you shall reach your Nirvana. razz