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 Posted: Sat Feb 21, 2009 11:39 am
Saturday Feb 21,
I started working on my debian computer again. It's horrible. Just as everything seems to be going right, another problem pops up. If I had DIRECT access to the internet (instead of WiFi), I'd have a much easier time. I want to give up pretty badly, but I waaant to be able to use the internet in my room!
My monitor weighs a ton. It's from '94. I also have the computer that goes with it (OS = NT 3.51) , but I don't really use it anymore, just to play solitaire, and such. THIS computer (the debian one) is probably around 8 years old...
I haven't left the house today, I'm still in my pjs, and it's 9:37pm...
I had around 10 hours of sleep. But I'm still a bit sleepy. sad Luckily it's almost bedtime!
Uh, I haven't been sleeping so well these past few days though... I'm a bit worried about my trip to the USA, so yeah.
And when I DO sleep, the dreams are so busy, and freaky.
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Posted: Sun Feb 22, 2009 1:54 am
Sunday Feb 22,
@11:44:
I had an odd dream. In this dream, I was pregnant. It was slightly... Scary. Most of the time I was just worrying about how delivering it would probably hurt. Ugh! My belly was lopsided! It really bothered me.
Still trying to fix the computer, though, to be honest, I don't think there's any chance of getting it to work. Waiting for an email.
I really miss my ex boyfriend. I still have strong feelings for him...
Our problem was that he didn't have enough time for me..
But now that I've been in a relationship where someone really cared about me... It's hard to be single. Though I can't find anyone that would like to be with me, or at least anyone I like. razz
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Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2009 7:28 am
Monday Feb 23,
I've been feeling woozy for a week now... Whenever I eat, my belly swells up, and hurts... sad
I cried today.
For a stupid reason. There's someone I used to love, I still might love them, but it's hard to love someone that doesn't love me back... I like their scent, though...
Uh, the end.
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Posted: Tue Feb 24, 2009 8:03 am
Tuesday Feb 24,
Still feeling woozy. Decided to skip breakfast. Went to school. Skipped lunch. Tummy felt okay.
Now, for dinner, I ate. Now my tummy hurts. I'm still feeling woozy, even after eating. Uh, school is boring.
People are boring, though I saw an attractive guy today on the bus.
I don't like people. They're annoying. I'm getting dizzy.
I didn't feel like waking up this morning. I shouldn't have.
I kept on waking up every hour or so last night. I didn't get much sleep. I had nightmares.
Cursed houses, killing people... Make-up... Tornados...
It was all really scary.
Well, not really, but it WAS!
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Posted: Thu Feb 26, 2009 8:28 am
Thursday Feb 26,
Yesterday was a bit of a crappy day. I went to a friend's house. Or at least we had agreed to just be friends. But then he started doing what he always does. So, anyways, I end up without a shirt. He takes off his shirt. I suddenly get upset. I guess I dug my nails into him, and headbutted him... He had a bit bump on his head.
Uh, I was expecting him to get mad. But he just looked sad, and then later huggled me. I don't really understand.
I want someone that will hold my hand in the grocery store, and who will help me choose what kind of salami I want to buy. I want someone who can say that they're with me...
I want someone I can love openly.
Nobody wants me. sad
Today I was walking home, and all of a sudden, everything I saw turned sideways, and I walked into a snowbank... It was odd.
Yesterday I almost passed out too, for no reason, the feeling came, you know, the feeling that you have right before you pass out... It was strange.
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Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2009 2:34 am
Saturday Feb 28,
I'm surprised that I was able to sleep last night... Usually when I have a big trip coming up, I can't sleep on the previous night.
Well, tonight I won't get much sleep. I'll be on a bus from 11pm to 5am. D:
Sounds horrible.
I'm a bit worried about the trip, because if I'm late for anything, it could mess up the whole thing.
Last night I had a dream that the guy that I hit in the head had a girlfriend. It make me sad. emo
So I climbed up a large cliff, slipped, and fell. Uh, I got injured pretty badly. He eventually came, to check my pulse. I was dead. cool
OH! I won't be here next week. Unless they have internet access available to us in DC.
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Posted: Wed Mar 11, 2009 11:17 am
I get "pregnant dreams" all the time. What was strange was when my sister told me that she was having dreams about me being pregnant...spooky!
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Posted: Fri Mar 13, 2009 6:43 am
^^ Ah, okay, I didn't think people had those kinds of dreams...
The night before last I had a dream that I was a guy that was penetrating another guy... D:
But that's not quite on the same trail....
So, I got home on monday. Jet lagggg jet laaaaaaaaag.
EFFING LAAAaAAG!
-sleeps during school-
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Posted: Thu Mar 26, 2009 12:39 am
Wow, a female having a gay dream.. where she's a guy? Strange.
I have very strange dreams though, too. So don't feel weird. We can't control our dreams, after all.
I have had dreams where I was having sex with guys I would never in a million years sleep with. It's crazy, cause I've never once had a dream where I had sex with a guy I've actually had sex with. And though me and Matt are together 24/7 I rarely ever have him in my dreams.. and when he is he's almost always cheating on me.. I hate it.
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Posted: Thu Mar 26, 2009 6:54 pm
That's funny, I also had a dream where I had sex with a guy I'd never sleep with in a million years.
Wait... you didn't hear that from me, alright?
No, I'm not gay, though I do feel fabulous (fabulous said in extremely effeminate tone).
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Posted: Sun Mar 29, 2009 8:48 am
zeromus 1st That's funny, I also had a dream where I had sex with a guy I'd never sleep with in a million years. Wait... you didn't hear that from me, alright? No, I'm not gay, though I do feel fabulous (fabulous said in extremely effeminate tone).
I've had dreams where I've done girls that I'd totally do anyways.
And guys.
As a chick and a dude.
I have overly sexual dreams.
I hate life.
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Posted: Sun Mar 29, 2009 9:59 am
Sunday March 29, 2009.
I'm still not happy. I still visit him.
He made pancakes.
I don't have problems.
I want a hunny.
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Posted: Sat Apr 04, 2009 9:58 am
Saturday, April 4th 2009.
I'm a chick. I hate being a chick. I get emotional during the evening.
I'm starting to wonder if it's mood-swing s**t... Maybe I should change my pills, again...
Maybe I should stop taking them...
I don't know.
Oh! I gained 2 pounds in the past couple of weeks.
Doesn't make me look any better, though...
Now I'm 110 lbs!
I should maybe get up to 115, and try to stay there for the summer, so that my aunt doesn't call me anorexic. That pissed me off.
I know I'm a bit too skinny, I'm not trying to lose weight, so ******** her.
Last year, she told my mom that I'd die before her kids, because I'm anorexic. (She said it right in front of me). One of her sons weighed 160lbs in grade 5. He wasn't tall or anything, either. He's gained weight over the past 5 years, so you can kinda imagine...
Well, anyways. I'm at the lowest healthy weight, and hemoglobin thing.
So... I was thinking of buffing myself up, to look like a butch baby-killer for when I go to Canada.
Well, no, I don't think I could ever get butch enough to look like one.. But.. still. I don't want anyone hitting on me while I'm there.
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Posted: Sun Apr 05, 2009 1:32 am
As long as you're healthy, don't you let anyone tell you that your weight is wrong. There is a reason there is a healthy range. People's bodies differ in what is healthy for them. If you're in the range and your doctor says you're healthy, then you just focus on what is best for you.
That's my advice, anyway. Take it for what it's worth!
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Posted: Sat Apr 25, 2009 11:04 am
Well, actually, I don't think I'm healthy.
I have good reasons.
I feel woozy and dizzy too much...
I skip meals.
I can't gain weight. (Haven't tried FORCING myself, but that would kinda defeat the purpose, I think)
And I have rather nice mood swings.
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