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 Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2012 10:57 pm
@ myth 36 - Wow... does this speak volumes to me... in a convicting way too eek
The quote by Shannon Etheridge is quite true. I had a very close male friend who, at the time I tried to convince myself was just a penpal friendship, but at the end of that relationship I was called to realize that I did indeed have an emotional affair. My husband was quite hurt by what I had done I know that very well. I don't believe he has been able to forgive me for it though we carried on in our relationship with me repentant for what I had done and him skeptical of if I would do it again. I thought I had gained his trust back, but it turns out he never did and he himself let his mind and actions fade away from our marriage. He left me the day before thanksgiving 2011 and quickly got involved with another woman in the area he is now living (200 miles away from myself and our daughter).
I love the part that says "Our wandering eyes and hearts are looking for something that doesn't exist this side of heaven." Really... that is such a relief to read in the sense of what it's talking about. Also it's a bit sad and makes me long to be with God. Though I can take comfort from it and know that every time my eyes want to wander to any man I know he doesn't have what I need and what I need is God.
Again I am sorry that I have not been able to post as I should have been posting... Life as I have mentioned above has taken many crazy twists and turns since I last posted. I pray that the lessons I am able to type out will find you well and help encourage you and help you grow stronger in your walk.
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Posted: Mon Jan 23, 2012 11:06 am
Myth #37 - "I'm Not Hurting Anyone Else"
"How does the sanctity of my marriage affect the sanctity of yours?" the sign read. In the midst of all the media coverage on the issue of gay marriage, a photo of a lesbian and her partner holding up that sign gave me pause. Their question sounded very familiar. In fact, it sounded like the basis of a number of family discussions I've been a part of over the past seven years regarding my brother and his partner. How doe on person's private choice possibly hurt anyone else?
Besides entirely discounting what the Bible says ( or, according to him, does not say ) about homosexuality, my brother contends that his relationship should not be construed as sin because it is not like other sexual sins, such as adultery or incest, which cause tremendous pain and deeply hurt other people. In contrast, how can we say his committed and loving relationship causes similar heartache and destruction? ( I suppose my own person grief doesn't count. )
The last time we talked about this issue, he challenged me to show him one fact that proved that legalizing his relationship with his partner would harm anyone in any way. "Christians can only say it's against their beliefs," he responded to my attempts to answer him. "That's fine you don't have to be in favor of it to concede my relationship is not hurting anyone else."
Granted, he and his partner are some of the most giving individuals I know. They work with AIDS patients and the homeless. They give a lot of their money to ministries for orphans. They have been in a monogamous relationship for the past seven years, buying a house together and even talking about adopting a child. If he is happy, why can't we be happy for him?
I just can't. The hurt goes too deep.
- Amber
----> The root issue in this myth is not whether gay marriage should be legalized but whether or not the nature of sin is as consequential as God's Word claims. We can live in naivete about sin only so long. When King Josiah discovered that the people of Judah had been living outside God's law for years, he tore his clothes in anguish over their sin ( see 2 chronicles 34 ). Instead of reacting by saying, "Well, we've been doing fine all this time," he was swift to change his course.
God says sin is so serious that the result is spiritual death ( see Romans 6:23 ). We tend to say some sins are not so bad. We use the same argument in a number of scenarios: marijuana use is acceptable as long as it harms no one but the user. Addiction to prescription medicine is fine if it makes you sleep better. Cohabitation. Drunkenness. Pornography. Gambling addictions. We justify any number of seemingly isolated sins by saying "But I'm not hurting anyone else."
The only problem with this argument is that sin is like second hand smoke. It leaves a trail of destruction. Friends and family of someone dealing with sin know the power personal sin has to hurt other people. Families grieve. Reputations are ruined. Family names are tainted. Future hopes and dreams are tarnished. Instead of isolationism, the Bible teaches our inter-connectedness:
~We are examples to one another ( 1 Corinthians 11:1 )
~We are to carry each other's burdens ( Galatians 6:2 ) and honor one another more than ourselves ( Romans 12:10 )
~We out to intervene with someone who's going astray ( James 5:20 ).
There's no such thing as sin that doesn't harm anyone else. Sin, even a seemingly private choice, affects others - ask Adam and Eve. And it has far reaching consequences - ask David. And it is deadly - ask Jesus. his precious blood was the only acceptable form of payment for the very sins we thought were inconsequential.
"No man ever enters heaven until he is first convinced he deserves hell." - John Everrett
"The wrath of God is being revealed from Heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of men who suppress the truth by their wickedness." - Romans 1:18
see also:
Psalm 51: 3-6
Romans 15: 1-4
James 1: 13-15
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Posted: Mon Jan 23, 2012 1:44 pm
Myth #38 - "I Will Always Have My Health"
When I was in college, my metabolism was my best friend. I remember my roommate and I would order two large pizzas ( delivery, of course ) and eat them in one sitting. One for her and one for me. It was nothing to go through a whole pizza box each and still fit into our size 2 clothes the next day.
When i was in my late twenties, I had a job as a youth minister at a church in Colorado. Our youth trips always involved extreme sports - snowboarding, river rafting, trekking. I don't order whole pizzas anymore, but I didn't really watch what I ate either. What ever I consumed, I usually burned off that night playing broom hockey or an intense round of laser tag at a junior high school all-nighter.
I eventually changed jobs and landed an office job i really enjoyed. But that's when it happened. My older sister, the self proclaimed prophet, always warned me that my good fortune (and good figure0 would change someday. "Yeah, whatever." Id' say as I stuffed my face with a burger. I figured she was just jealous. I honestly didn't believe her doomsday prediction. She got Mom's apple shape; I got Dad's athleticism.
I took three years into my thirties, giving birth to two children and trying on new swimsuits for the summer season before I finally conceded that aliens had absconded with my former body. I now live in one I don't recognize. Where'd I get that extra set of thighs, that spare tire and that growing double chin?
I talked to my doctor about my sedentary lifestyle and sluggish metabolism, expecting a 35$ co-pay lecture on the benefits of exercise (which I would interpret as a free pass until my forties when I'd have to get serious). Instead, I received a shock. Turns out I also got Dad's predisposition to diabetes. Between genetics, my obesity and my lack of exercise, i was headed for trouble. How could that be true?
- Rebecca
----> While many of us are blessed with good health, we cannot take it for granted. It can be a shock when we get to the point when we realize that our bodies aren't what they used to be - or worse, that we have nagging or even debilitating health problems. Keep in mind...
~Women take metal stress to heart (literally). Stress is a common component in many women's daily lives. Between work, family, church and other responsibilities, taking time for ourselves to develop a healthy lifestyle and a regular exercise program often falls to the bottom of our lists. Studies suggest that stress can constrict blood flow and contribute to a number of heart-related ailments. See what Jesus has to say about worrying about earthly things in Matthew 6:25-34
~A healthy woman's lifestyle involves the whole person, body and soul. Yoga isn't just for transcendentalists anymore! Nor is pilates just for Hollywood. These types of exercise programs tone and lengthen the body's muscles while de-stressing the mind, building mental healthy and confidence.
~It's not about losing weight; it's about developing a healthy lifestyle. Yes, physical activity and lowering our caloric intake are the keys to weight loss, but they are much more than a means to an end. exercise and healthy eating habits are choices we make for personal wellness.
~Your health is a gift from the Lord. like any other gift we have received from God, we must be good stewards of our health. god encourages us to avoid laziness ( see Proverbs 26:13-15 ). If we begin to take our bodies for granted, we risk losing something precious. Neglecting our health is a hard habit to break - many of us know too well that the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. Ask god to help you make the right choices to develop a healthy lifestyle - starting now.
"Adults rate good health as their most coveted future reality. Nine out of Ten adults cherish good physical health." - Barna Research Group ( 2000 )
"You were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body." - 1 Corinthians 6:20
see also:
2 Corinthians 4:16-18
2 Corinthians 12:7-10
3 John 2
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Posted: Mon Jan 23, 2012 11:47 pm
Myth #39 - "I Shouldn't Let Anyone Get Too Close To Me"
It could have gone either way.
i could have sworn off relationships forever. Or I could have learned to give love another chance. It's not as if I'd never had my heart broken before this happened. but this one was different. I felt like we could have been something special.
We met under the strangest circumstances - my moving halfway across the country for a new job. And his return to getting involved in church after a long absence. It had the makings of one of those great love stories you imagine telling your grandkids one day. I remember the first Sunday we met. We went out to lunch with a group after church, and he and I leaned across the table at the Italian restaurant and talked the entire time. I felt like I already knew him somehow. We ended up talking more in the parking lot that afternoon.. And then he called that night to see if I wanted to go to dinner. We acting like old friends, and I told him things i had never told anyone else.
for the next three months we spent nearly every day together - emailing each other back and forth from work, grabbing a bite at lunch or making dinner together. He was the first person I met in the city. And he'd found his way into me somehow. It'd been so long since I'd found anyone remotely interesting and with the same passions and viewpoints I had about life. We just clicked, and for the first time in a long time, I let a man into my heart.
I'm still not sure how we broke up. I know my move back to California triggered it. We talked about him moving cross-country with me and getting a job there. He told me he could see himself married to me. Funny, at the time I didn't realize that I was in love with him, but how else can I explain the void I felt without him in my life? But he didn't come with me. And I couldn't go back to him. Days turned into weeks, into months, and I felt like my life had lost it's dazzle. We'd been on the verge of a lifetime commitment, I think, and when that connection was broken, it shattered.
I vowed I would never love anyone again they way I'd loved him. It hurt too much. In a way if feels like my loss, but I can't bear that kind of pain again.
- Misty
----> Healing from past hurts takes courage, tenacity and time. Women who deal with the temptation to keep others at arms' length are usually exercising a heightened response of self - preservation. Any number of situations, including parents divorce in childhood, sexual abuse, infidelity or a break-up in a relationship can cause this reflex. After someone deeply wounds us, it's normal to feel like shutting down so that no one can hurt us again. However, if we indulge in this natural response and develop a habit of putting up walls, we never move past our pain. Following Jesus Christ as our model for living means we must loosen the hold our pain has on us and truly engage with other people. And that involves risk - enormous risks for people from painful situations.
Are you willing to take a risk? Remember...
~Forgiving someone else doesn't make what he or she did to you ok. It helps to make you ok.
~Holding on to yesterday's hurts affects today's potential relationships. Will you allow those who hurt you in the past to continue influencing your future?
~Others need you. You may be withholding love and encouragement from friends who really need you to let them in. - for their sake ( see 1 Peter 4:8-10 )
~Every relationship has the potential for both blessings and pain. Consider how Judas, part of the inner circle, betrayed Jesus, but the other 11 remained faithful friends to him.
"A stronghold is a destructive pattern that has a strong hold on us; patterns that have become so deeply entrenched we live them out habitually, never recognizing that we are exhibiting un-Christlike behavior or that we even have a choice to resist." - Anabell Gillham
"Two are better than one" - Ecclesiastes 4:9
see also:
Genesis 2:18
Proverbs 17:17
Proverbs 27:6
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Posted: Wed Sep 12, 2012 10:22 am
Dawn Landers Wow so many myths! Do you take time off for a while before making more myths? sweatdrop I had to open three internet taps to post to you sister. Allot of your myths I can respond to, here I go.
-"I'll never be free from my past"
> Yes you can, Satan only wants you to belive that so he can have a steady power over you.
-"Having a child will make me happy"
>Not always no, after birthing you must swiftly throw on that fear mommy role so baby will behave or else. (Please my beloved sisters If you and your male are not set for birthing do not create little baby but wait if future okay you first. I know we can get horny but urinate when those urges come.)
- "If I commit my life to God, he'll make me a missionary to Africa"
>If you truly are the son of God turn these stones into bread, Lucifer once said to my king in the wilderness for 40 days and 40 nights. Do not tempt the lord God to do something and God might have you about to do something differently than being a missionary.
-"He's not Christian but he's a good guy."
>I guess he is okay but not in Christ is a gateway for Satan to come in and ruin him and everything he stands for with you.
-"If I'm a good Christian, then nothing bad will happen to me"
>Wrong! I got beaten up in my past, God will only allow what you can handle.
-"True Success means Always Reaching For the Next Rung on the Corporate Ladder."
> If you gain the whole world but lose your soul in the end, what good are?
-"If We Don't Love Each Other Anymore We Should Go Our Separate Ways."
>Yes swiftly! In my sleep I was taught how love hold things together, If love is cut of and cannot be reconnected with all its glories and hearts then leave.
-"God Doesn't Want Me to Have Any Fun."
> Are you crazy? What is this the twilight zone? My daddy wants us to have fun, but he hates anything that can harm us in having fun.
-"I'm Accountable Only To Myself."
>Allot yes allot no, God seeks to be with you and also the holy spirit.
-"My Money Is My Money."
>Your greed will destroy you, its best to repent and live right in God.
-"Good Parents Always Have Good Children."
>Not always.
- "Sexual Freedom Is Good For Women."
>I you recall having a ton of babies coming out you, STD's and etc as good than no.
-"I'm In control"
>Control lol ?! Daddy can send lightning reigning down on your butt from Heaven, lets see how in control you are when your shouting daddy forgive me... I love you.
-"My Husband Would Never Look At Porn"
> He is not gay! Be glad he will not taint his eyes with such filth.
-"Today's Media Can't Significantly Influence my Life"
> Do you love God or this world?
-"The Church Should Meet My Needs."
> Do you meet God's needs?
-"I've Got to Have Those Shoes."
>Do you want Hell?
-"We Should Live Together Before We Get Married To Make Sure We're Compatible"
>You should know he is your for life type before you live together, both lovers need to drop everything about who they are and etc before they live together.
-"I Should know God's Plan For My Life"
> Wait on the lord, gash!
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Posted: Wed Sep 12, 2012 1:27 pm
God is my strength... "Psalms 28:7"
There is no credit due to me for these Myths. These are all from a woman's bible that I have. I just copy them onto here. I haven't meant to take time away from this but life got in the way. I've had a lot on my plate but I want to continue these so that all 100 can be written out.
...God is my joy "Psalms 96:11-13"
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Posted: Wed Sep 12, 2012 1:51 pm
Myth #40 - " I Can Do It All "
Id never dreamed how hard being a mom would be. It's a 24/7 job. The biggest shocker for me was realizing there are no Holidays, no personal days and no paid vacations in this job. How do other moms do it? I wondered as I tried to balance all the adjustments in my life with a baby and a freelance job. What about full-time working moms and those with several children? I can't imagine!... Oh, but I can, and it scares me!
Maybe I'm too selfish. I married at age 30 and had a baby at 33. I enjoyed a lot of time by myself when I was single. I had a corporate career, lived in a big city, traveled across the nation and even bought my own home. At the same time, I had always dreamed of being a wife, stay-at-home mom and a part-time freelancer.
When I quit my job to become a mom, I thought I'd have a spotless house, keep up with the laundry and cook nutritious meals from scratch. After all, isn't that what stay-at-home moms are supposed to do with all their extra time? Sure, I laugh now, too, but I honestly thought I could be June Cleaver! I have to admit, I used to look down on moms who looked frazzled or lost control of their kids or let their house fall apart or (worst of all) let their bodies go. I'd always thought I could do it all.
In my heart, I know raising my son is the most important job I have. But does that mean that I need to give up everything else? Sometimes I think so. After all, if I do everything I'm supposed to do, there's no extra time left. Yet I still have the desire to do my freelance work. So far, I've managed to keep my former employer as a client. I want to maintain that professional relationship and maybe even have some articles published in a national magazine. But sometimes I wonder how I'll stay afloat.
- Stacy
----> Ah, the notorious Proverbs 31 woman - the woman we sometimes love to hate! Super-mom activists point to her as a woman who "does it all" (and does it well). The more likely scenario is that this passage is a composite of many women, not super woman. The expectation of being perfect has to go. If you're a mom struggling to do it all, keep this in mind:
~Put Your Child First.
that seems like a given, right? However, keeping your children first will look different for each woman. For some, this may mean home-schooling. For others, it may mean working to keep food on the table.
~Ask Yourself, "What Regrets do I Not Want to Have?"
let this help guide your choices. For example, one argument against daycare is that your child spends more time during the day with someone else that he or she does with you. In contrast, some stay-at-home moms are so absorbed in their own lives and enroll their children in many activities that they really aren't the biggest influence in their child's life anyway.
~Work as a Team with Your Husband, and Know What Your Marriage Can Afford.
even if you stay home, you still desperately need your husband's help - marriage and parenting are joint efforts. Consider Nehemiah's strategy for his massive undertaking - he didn't do it by himself. He practiced a divide-and-conquer philosophy ( see Nehemiah 3 ). Utilize the support people in your life ( If you're married, your husband; if you're a single mom, a family or church member, or friend ) to enable you to do what you need to do ( and occasionally what you want to do. )
"If paid, Stay at Home moms would earn 138,095$ annually" - Salary.com 2007
"Her children arise and call her blessed" - Proverbs 31:28
see also:
Psalm 127:3
Ecclesiastes 3:1
Philippians 4:6-7, 10-13
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Posted: Wed Sep 12, 2012 2:17 pm
Myth #41 - "Men Will Be Men - I Can't Expect Them To Be Faithful"
I formed my opinions about men through watching my parents' relationship. My dad got drunk when he wanted to, staying out late at the bars downtown with women he'd meet. My mom just carried on as if nothing was wrong. When I was in my teens, I remember asking her one day why she stayed with him. She said in a matter-of-fact voice, "Men will be me, honey. You just can't expect them to be faithful." We talked that first and only time about it. But I remembered her words.
I've been dating a man for three years this December. I've seen him look at waitresses when we go out. He flirts with them right in front of me - as if I'm not even there. If I call him on it, he just gets upset and turns it on me. "Why are you overreacting? You're so insecure. You know I love you." And somehow I end up apologizing.
Whenever he is late for out dates, he always has some excuse. Sometimes he doesn't call till the next day to explain where he's been. The problem is, I'm not just paranoid. I caught him cheating on me once. He told me it was because I was on a business trip, and he just missed me so much.
I never feel comfortable when he goes out with his guy friends, whether it's just a guy's night out or a bachelor party. I know they have strippers there. How degrading! But he tells me that all men are the same. "It's just our sexual nature - it's not that I don't love you." I'm afraid if I push him too hard I'll lose him.
Why do I stay with him? I don't know. Maybe my mom was right. Maybe this really is as good as it gets. Men are driven sexually, and as long as he says he loves me, I should just learn to deal with his indiscretions that best I can.
- Sarah
----> "Men will be men: is a lame excuse, so don't but it or enable it. If your boyfriend treats you with disrespect, don't expect him to change on his own. As hard as it may feel to break off the relationship, it's better to be alone and waiting for a good man than to be with a man who doesn't respect you. You have immense worth in God's eyes, so be courageous, like Esther. Consider talking to someone about why you chose to be with such a man in the first place.
If you're married to a man who treats women inappropriately, talk to a pastor or Christian counselor to begin to address this issue. Don't excuse it; bring it into the light to begin the process of healing and change. Whenever you are tempted to believe that you don't deserve love and faithfulness in your relationships, stop and remember your WORTH:
W - women and men have the same biblical standard: faithfulness. Expecting a man to be faithful in a love relationship is a reasonable request.
O - only God can change your man and your relationship. Your nagging or wishful thinking isn't going to work. Pray, live respectfully and let God deal with your husband ( see 1 Peter 3:1-2 )
R - raise the bar. sometimes we confuse our self-worth with how others treat us. Instead of lowering the bar of expectations, taking what you can get in the love department, know that you are worthy of extravagant love - the kind of love that motivated Jesus to die for you.
T - tell yourself that your identity in Christ makes you his precious, prized possession. Because you are created in his image and you belong to Him, you deserve love, respect, and honor.
H - He is faithful. God sees. Do what's right, regardless of what your husband does, and entrust yourself to God to make things right in the end ( see 1 Peter 2:23 )
"My dream for every married man is that his wife, regardless of her age, is the most beautiful woman in his eyes, because she is the only woman in his eyes;... that the flicker in his eyes caused by the candles on his fiftieth anniversary cake reflect a man who has remained pure throughout his marriage, and that someday (whether married or not) that man will face Christ unashamed and hear the words, 'Well done, thou good and faithful servant' " - Joe White
"The Lord rewards every man for his righteousness and faithfulness" - 1 Samuel 26:23
see also:
Proverbs 5:18-23
Songs of Songs 8:6-7
Luke 1:37
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Posted: Mon Oct 01, 2012 4:00 am
faithful quenga Myth # 01 "I'll never be free from my past"
I feel as if I've lived two or three different lives. And if any one of those past lives ever catches up with me, then everything I can safely call my own today is gone - my reputation as a leader at work, a successful marriage, loving family - my past threatens all of it. I fear someone somewhere will claim to know what I'm "really like" Only I'm not that person anymore. Not perfect, but thank God not what I used to be. I truly believe I've changed and am growing into the person christ wants me to be
But that person still carries a secret burden. As bright as her future is she's never free from her past.
I'm never free from the haunting accusations surrounding yesterday's mistakes that may ambush me today. Imaginary scenarios and entire conversations play out in my head. they sneak into my thoughts with crafty subtlety. Sometimes when I tuck my baby girl under the covers for the night and she whispers, "I love you, mommy." I want so much to enjoy the moment and soak in her affection. But a faint, persistent voice inside tells me, "You don't deserve her, you know. Not after what you've done..."
And when I meet someone that I genuinely like, whose friendship I really enjoy, the thought inevitably traipses through my head that if she knoew my past, she wouldn't think so highly of me.
When my boss compliments me at a meeting for my "innovative leadership," I beam with a sense of accomplishment. Until I begin to remember all my failures.
It sounds hypocritical to say I believe Jesus has forgiven my past. I do believe. I just want to know, will I ever be free from it?
-Karen
---->Have you ever felt like you're the only one with something to hide? That sense of isolation magnifies your feelings of guilt. Satan wants you to feel alone, crippled by a false sense of guilt. Yet the truth is that every person on earth has a "past" - even those we consider "Mother Teresa" types who seemingly never did anything wrong. The book of Genesis describes how we inherited a sinful nature. Adam and Eve instilled a sinful nature into the entire human race (see Romans 5:12,17).
However, we must understand and accept that we are free from the penalty of our past because we trust Christ's sacrifice as the ultimate and final payment for sin (see Hebrews 7:27). Even so, sometimes the pain of our past comes calling. Many women have an emotional disposition or personality type that lends itself to dwelling on bitter memories. Our adversary, the devil, often misuses this sensitivity to accuse and discourage us. He tempts our thoughts with guilt over past deeds. He calls into question the penalty of our past as if it is somehow unpaid - an outstanding debt he convinces us we must pay ourselves. We respond to his perverse persuasion by feeling as if we don't deserve the love of family or friends, much less God's love. After what you've done? Who are you kidding? This is the language of lies - a familiar tongue to anyone who longs to be free from a shameful past.
Satan tries to slip the chains of guild back on our shoulders. And sometimes we again pick up those old familiar chains - our guilt feels so comfortable that we revert to it out of habit. But Christ has set us free! He paid the FULL penalty for our sins. every wrong thought, word or action - all paid for.
Don't believe the lie. God set you free; Christ died that you would be free - but you must choose to live that way.
"Christ's call on our lives is a call to liberty. Freedom is the cornerstone of Christianity." - Brennan Manning
"So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed." - John 8:36
see also:
Romans 8:1-4
2 Corinthians 5:17
Galatians 5:1
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Posted: Tue Oct 02, 2012 8:34 pm
Victoria Whitechapel Hi I know I am responding to an old post but this is something I am struggling with I am new to the guild and I read this and it feels like it is written for me My poor choices that I made in the past haunt me everyday and I often feel that I am too far gone to go back to God but what you wrote made me feel a little better thank you smile I am going to try and read one of your myths everyday. God is my strength... "Psalms 28:7"
Thank you for posting you encouragement from these myths.
...God is my joy "Psalms 96:11-13"
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Posted: Tue Oct 02, 2012 9:10 pm
Myth #42 - "My Soul Mate Is Out There Somewhere"
I didn't really believe in soul mates. Until I met John. He is, in a word, amazing. There is no limit to what he's willing to do for me. If I need to talk, he listens. And no matter what's going on in my life, he just seems to understand. Sometimes I don't have to say anything at all - he just reads my mind and knows exactly what I'm thinking.
He came into my life in such a fast, unexpected way. After our first few conversations at work, I knew there was something special about him. It was as if I were somehow speaking with the other half of myself. He seemed to reflect my feelings and emotions - even about the tiniest, most insignificant things. There's nothing I can't talk about with him.
No one has ever made me feel the way he makes me feel inside - complete, whole, safe. This must be the kind of Great Love people throughout time have written about in poems and songs - it's something so rare that it's hard to believe you've somehow found it. I've been wrong before, but this time I've finally found the one person who completes me, and I do the same for him. Every time we're together, I'm convinced even more that our relationship was just meant to be. H is undeniably my soul mate.
Sometimes when I can't sleep, I want to call him in the middle of the night to hear his voice on the other end of the line. I can't wait until the next time we will be together again. there's only one problem...
I'm already married.
- Tyne
----> One danger of the "soul mate philosophy" is that it's possible to believe you married the wrong person and think that someone else must be your soul mate. Many affairs and divorces have resulted from recklessly pursuing this line of thinking as people go from relationship to relationship.
Do soul mates exist? Some people believe that God has one person for them; others believe there are a number of they could be compatible with. No matter which perspective you hold to, truth stands clear;p once you make the choice to marry, your husband BECOMES "the one" as the two of you become one ( see Genesis 2:24 )
How do two people become one? The Bible gives us clear, unwavering guidance on making love last:
Beware of idealizing your mate:
It's true - those "little things" you found so attractive in you mate initially often become the source of irritation later in marriage. In marriage, guards are down and masks removed. There is no perfect man - or woman! ( see Romans 3:23 ).
Relationships are hard work:
All relationships require attention. If your idea of a perfect relationship is one that exists to meet your needs and requires low maintenance, consider getting a pet, not a husband! ( see Proverbs 31:10-31 )
Don't idolize happiness:
Many of us have a skewed idea that we deserve happiness and that the pursuit of happiness should guide our choices about relationships. So we give up on a struggling relationship, and we forfeit what amazing things God would do with our marriages if we worked through our difficulties.
Choose to Love:
Sometimes you won't FEEL like you love him or you'll feel confused by your emotions for another man. That's when you have to CHOOSE to love your husband - not because he deserves it or because you want to, but because you know that's pleasing to God. Act out love toward him ( see 1 Corinthians 13 ), and your feelings will eventually follow.
Focus on becoming the kind of person you'd like to marry:
Remember listing all those traits about your dream guy in high school? Do you want a kind-hearted, generous man? How would your friends describe you? Take the top five character items on your list of the "perfect guy," and measure your own progress in those areas.
" Soul mates are made, not born. You start with the ingredients for a highly compatible, successful relationships, and then you work to develop closeness and intimacy. " - Neil Clark Warren
" For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh " - Genesis 2:24
see also:
Proverbs 19:22
1 Corinthians 13
1 John 4:16-21
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Posted: Tue Oct 02, 2012 10:54 pm
Myth #43 - "If I Pray About My Problem, It Will Go Away"
On our honeymooon, I found out that my husband was addicted to drugs. I knew he had a history of drug use, but that was years ago. When we met, he was a committed Christian who claimed he'd completely cleaned up his act. We fell in love quickly, but I wanted to wait to get married to make sure he ha really changed. I guess I didn't wait long enough.
Our Married life because a living nightmare. we cam home from our honeymoon to a ransacked apartment, with most of our new wedding gifts missing. turns out, my husband owed some drug money to some unforgiving people. Quinn was no longer the man I thought I knew. He would take my car and be gone for hours. I never knew where he was. I feared for my life and for his. I prayed earnestly, tears streaming down my face, for God to heal him of this addiction. I knew it was God's will that he be healed, and I believed God had the power to heal him.
The next couple of years were agonizing as I continued to pray for Quinn to change. Only the situation wasn't getting better; it was getting worse. Quinn was in and out of some of the best rehab clinics in the country. He would come clean for a while, and I thought God had answered my prayers. then he would be back to using again. As a Christian, I knew divorce was wrong. Besides, I loved him. I was afraid he'd completely self-destruct if I left him.
After I became pregnant, I thought Quinn might change for the sake of our child. I think he tried but just couldn't pull it together. He was still using drugs off and on, and though I knew he couldn't be a husband or a father, I still believed in a miracle. He barely made it to the hospital the day our daughter was born. I thought God answered prayer. What happened?
- Dawn
----> If God has the power to change a bad situation, then why doesn't he? If he's all powerful and loving, then why won't he answer our prayers? Why, God, why?
These are the timeless questions that humans have been asking for thousands of years. These are the very questions that Job cried out to God. God never directly answered Job's questions. Instead he answered Job by explaining who he is. He is powerful. He is beyond our reason. He is above our reproaches. He is GOOD.
What we forget is that God sees good from his eternal perspective ( see Romans 8:28 ). All we can see is the immediate - what's right before our eyes - and it sure doesn't look good from our limited view. Have you found yourself thinking any of the following statements?
God doesn't love me:
"No" and "wait" are both valid answers to prayer. Don't allow yourself to believe that God is uncaring, aloof and distant. cling to the fact that he cares deeply for you; He's near and he's good.
God didn't answer because I didn't have enough faith:
This logic implies that the outcome depends on a human being. We don't have a magic formula to fix a situation; we have to trust God.
If God loved me, he would make this problem go away:
Our problems are often tied to other people, who also have choices. God doesn't override a Christian's free will and force him or her to choose the right way. God often uses a range of people and situations to bring something good out of our pain, even though we can't always see right away or ever... this side of eternity.
" I'd stated believing that if I just met certain standards of performance such as Bible reading and prayer (both good things in themselves), then God would essentially become my fairy godparent and do my bidding. " - Ruth Van Reken
" Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, 'My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as You will " - Matthew 26:39
see also:
Job 23:9-10
Psalm 4:3
Psalm 145:9
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Posted: Tue Oct 16, 2012 10:57 am
Myth #44 - "If I Feel This Way, It Must Be True"
I was afraid my husband was cheating on me. Although he had always been a loving husband. I felt it in the depths of my bones. I had just had a baby, and I was feeling fat and very un-sexy in my post-maternity wear. Even though I couldn't pinpoint exactly why, I started feeling neglected. Ben assured me all the time that h loved me and found me sexually attractive. But I didn't believe him.
Not long after I started feeling this way, some friends told me they saw my husband having lunch with a woman who works with him. According to my friends, the two of them were laughing and having too good of a time for a "working lunch."When I asked Ben not to have lunch with women from the office alone, he agreed,k though he felt I was overreacting. When he saw I was still unconvinced, he suggested we go to counseling to help us in our marriage. But I still didn't trust him.
I talked to a few friends about the problems we were having, and everyone counseled me to separate or file for divorce. Why stay married if I felt the love between us was gone? I should follow my instincts. A woman just knows these things about her husband - how could I live with those suspicions? Even my counselor - not a Christian, but all I could afford through our insurance - told me to leave my husband if I felt I didn't want to try working it out. I didn't want to talk to my Christian friends. I knew they would remind me that my hormones were all out of whack and tell me to process my emotions through prayer. Frankly, I didn't feel like praying. I felt overwhelmed by my failing marriage.
Even though I felt very strongly about leaving, I didn't know if it was the right choice. If I left Ben, it would be devastating to our families. I would have to get a full-time job to support my three children and I. A divorce could stretch on for years, I didn't know what to do. I couldn't see past what I felt.
-
----> What should we do when we are on emotional overload?
--Remember, feelings are NOT facts. Too often we base life-changing decisions on overpowering feelings. Our hearts can deceive us ( see Jeremiah 17:9 ) and blind us with a half truth. That's why we need God to help us sort through our thoughts and emotions.
--Before making any life-changing decisions seek the counsel of several Christians. If you only get non-Christian opinions on what you should do, you'll always miss important pieces of the equation. In the same way, any one Christian can miss something, so seek from your pastor, godly friends and family.
--Don't do anything rash, Instead, whenever your emotions are all over the place, wait, talk to other people - especially your spouse.
--If needed, consult a doctor. Sometimes you may experience a hormonal imbalance due to pregnancy, stress, or other conditions. You may also have a chemical imbalance, which may produce paranoia, depression, obsessiveness and other traits. God can use medical care to help give you a clearer perspective on reality.
--Pray. ask God to help you sort through your feelings. What you see from a skewed perspective, He sees clearly. And He invites you to ask him for wisdom ( see James 1:5-8 ).
" By a 3-to-1 margin (64% vs. 22%), adults said truth is always relative to the person and his or her situation. Nearly 31% described doing whatever feels right or comfortable in a situation as their primary consideration for moral decision-making " - Barna Research Group ( 2002 )
" He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm. " - Proverbs 13
:20
see also:
Isaiah 30:19-21
Philippians 4:6-8
1 John 3:18-20
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