Singing Is The Only Way to Clear Up Misunderstandings
It was a bright and sunny morning in the courtyard of Eyris castle, where the young swordsman, Abel, stood chopping at a training dummy. With each swing, he'd let out an angry shout, presumably because he felt he was not making progress on the technique he was attempting to master.
He panted, glaring at the dummy, then pulled his sword around in both hands, swinging it back, and stopped it sharply at a quiet squeak from behind him. Quickly, he turned, lowering his weapon to blink at Ed, who was standing directly behind him and looking pale. "Ed!" he cried, moving forward as he set the tip of the blade against the dirt. "Did I hit you, are you okay?"
The swordswoman shook her head quickly to clear it and coughed, then smiled. "It was a near-miss. I'm fine. How are you doing, Abel?"
The mercenary sighed. "Not so hot. I think maybe my brain's just frying from the heat."
Ed giggled. "Well, let's get a drink then, huh? Come on, we'll go in." She turned and started walking, glancing over her shoulder to see if he was following her.
Abel fell into step beside her after a minute and sighed. "Say, Ed? Can I ask you a question?"
"Sure," she replied, looking over at him curiously.
"Well, you know Hatmon, down the street?" he asked, apparently choosing his words slowly and carefully.
"Mmhmm," the swordswoman replied. She was well-acquainted with Hatmon. As a matter of fact, having met another like herself, Ed had lately been thinking about starting a school to help people like her meet one another and learn how to be better chimeras.
"Well, you're a chimera," he said, "and she's a chimera."
"Right," she said, still not entirely sure where he was going with this.
"You're both chimeras."
"Yeah."
He took a breath, then asked: "Are you two related?"
"What!?" Ed's voice shrilly pierced the air with her exclamation, making Abel cringe instinctively. "Abel, I'm surprised at you!" Her anger turned to haughtiness as she turned away, folding her arms and informing him curtly, "I find that racist!"
He gasped softly, stammering, "W-well, I'm sorry, I-I was just asking!"
"Well, it's a touchy subject," Ed interjected, glaring at him. "No, not all chimeras are related." She turned and started to jab him sharply in the chest, growling, "What are you trying to say, huh? That we all look the same to you?"
"N-no, no, no-- oww, no!" He staggered back a bit under both the lashing of her sharp tongue and the jabbing of her sharp finger. "Oh, not at all," he sighed once he'd finally escaped. "Oh, I'm sorry... I guess that was a little racist," he said at last.
"I should say so," Ed replied, still in a bit of a huff. "You should be much more careful when you're talking about the sensitive subject of race!"
Something suddenly clicked with Abel, and he stood there blinking, then began: "Wha-- well, look who's talking!"
Ed stopped in her tracks, glancing back over her shoulder to glare darkly at him. "What do you mean?"
"What about that special chimera school you told me about?" he inquired, fighting the urge to smirk.
"What about it?" Ed replied, turning to face him and placing her hands on her hips.
"Well, could a person like me go there?"
Ed looked a bit dumbfounded. "No, we don't want people like you th--" She stopped suddenly as her eyes widened with sudden realization.
And already, Abel was laughing! "Hahahaha, you see? You're a little bit racist!"
"Well, you're a little bit, too!" she replied in an effort to save face, but Abel was, for once in his life, on a roll.
"I guess we're both a little bit racist," he laughed! At last, Ed had to sigh and agree with him.
"Admitting it is not an easy thing to do!"
"But I guess it's true," he snickered.
She suddenly winked! "Between me and you, I think everyone's a little bit racist sometimes!"
Abel grinned and joined her suddenly! "Doesn't mean we go around committing hate crimes! Look around and you will find, no one's really color blind!"
She giggled! "Maybe it's a fact we all should face: Everyone makes judgments based on race!"
"Now not big judgments," Abel was quick to clarify, "Like who to hire and who to buy a newspaper from!"
"No," Ed agreed, shaking her head and giggling madly.
"Just little judgments," he said, "Like thinking that Sentrian busboys should learn to speak godsdamn Learanian!"
"Right!" the chimera replied. "Everyone's a little bit racist today!"
"So, everyone's a little bit racist, okay! Ethnic jokes might be uncouth, but you laugh because they're based on truth! Don't take them as personal attacks!"
They looked at each other and grinned. "Everyone enjoys them-- so relax!"
"Okay," Abel started, looking around furtively. "Stop me if you've heard this one."
"M'kay!"
"Alright, so there's a wyvern going down."
"Uh-huh?"
"And there's only one parachute."
"Hmm..."
"And there's a monk, a cleric--"
"And a black guy!"
"Yeah!"
"WHATCHOO TALKIN' 'BOUT, ED?" The sharp voice of Deborah cut the air neatly in half as the black Elibian made her way toward the two.
"Ehhhh..." Ed attempted to vocalize something, anything, but the sudden appearance of the halberdier had struck her dumb.
"You were tellin' a black joke!" Deborah accused, stopping just short of actually standing on top of Ed.
"Well, sure Debby, but lots of people tell black jokes," Abel interjected in an attempt to take the heat off his friend.
"I don't," Deborah growled, stepping back a bit.
Abel rolled his eyes. "Well, of course YOU don't, you're black! But I bet you tell Adlian jokes, right!"
A smile suddenly split Deborah's face. "Well, sure I do!" She began to laugh outright, apparently remembering some excellent Dumb Adlian jokes. "Haha, those stupid Adlians! Ahahaha..."
"Now," Abel said, as his plan came to fruition: "Don't you think that's a little racist?"
Deborah's laughter quickly died away. "Well, damn," she murmured. "I guess you're right!"
"You're a little bit racist," Ed giggled, finally recovered from the shock of Deborah's appearance.
"Well, you're a little bit, too!" Deborah replied, a hint of a smile pulling at her lips.
"We're all a little bit racist!" Abel declared, grinning like an idiot.
"I think that I would have to agree with you!" Deborah admitted.
"We're glad you do!" the other two replied as they shared a wink.
"It's sad but true!" Deb laughed! "Everyone's a little bit racist, alright?"
"Alright!" Ed agreed.
Abel chimed in a moment later, "Alright!"
"Alright!" Deb laughed, somehow pleased that racism could be a bit tolerable! "Bigotry has never been exclusively white! If we all could just admit," she said as the others chimed in, "We are racist a little bit! Even though we all know that it's wrong, maybe it could help us get along!"
"Ah," Abel sighed. "Cless, do I feel good!" he added, citing the name of a prophet who had traveled Learania several hundred years prior to the arrival of the Nine Heroes.
"Now there," Deborah said proudly, "was a fine, upstanding black man!"
Abel blinked! "... Who?"
"Rhebus Cless."
"But, Deborah," Ed said, frowning, "Rhebus was white."
"No, Rhebus was black."
"No-ho-ho, Rhebus was white."
"No, I'm pretty sure Rhebus was black."
"Guys, guys!" Abel jumped in, attempting to prevent their fun from being ruined by an argument. And then, with a realization, he grinned. "Rhebus... was Sentrian."
The three of them burst into raucous laughter as they made their way through the garden together. "Hey guys!" called Tibarn, who was attempting to light a grill out in the courtyard. "What are you laughing about?"
"Racism!" Deborah hooted gleefully, leaning heavily on Abel as they all approached the laguz king.
"Cool!" he replied, shouting a bit over the raucous laughter.
A shrill voice cut the air from the door of the castle. Ayra had lately been attempting, not very well, to fake a heavy Isaacian accent, occasionally breaking into fluent Isaacian in the middle of sentences. The new guy running the weapon shop was from Isaac, and Ayra was hoping she could get a discount. "TIBALN!" she yelled, "YOU COME BACK HERE, TAKE OUT LECYCURABURS!"
The laughter abruptly stopped, and Abel asked, "What's that mean?"
Tibarn blinked. "Uh... recyclables." The other three once more burst out laughing, and Tibarn growled, turning away from the grill and nearly burning his wings. "Hey, don't make fun of her! How many languages do you speak?"
Giggling, Ed waved her hand dismissively. "Oh, come off it Tibarn! Everyone's a little bit racist!"
"I'm not!" he retorted, stomping his foot emphatically.
"Oh no?" Abel asked, skeptical.
"Nope!"
"Ha!"
"How many oriental wives have you got?" Tibarn demanded, wings flaring, only to fold them sharply as he saw, out of the corner of his eye, Ayra storming toward him.
"What!? Tibarn!"
The king of the Hawks swallowed hard as Abel informed him, "Tibarn, buddy, where you been? The term is 'Isaac-Learanian!'"
Ayra nodded, sighing as she added, "I know you are no intending to be, but carring me 'Orienter'," she said, suddenly jabbing her husband in the chest with one finger, "Offensive to me!"
Tibarn sighed apologetically, holding his arms out to take her hands. "I'm sorry, honey! I love you," he added, just to remind her.
She clicked her tongue, but smiled with the air of one who cannot stay angry at her husband when he's grilling steaks. "And I love you," she responded, squeezing his hands gently.
"But," he said cautiously, "You're racist, too."
"Yeah," she replied suddenly, pulling away. "I know. The Lycians have all the money and the Tellians have all the power! And I'm always in calliage with dliver who no shower!"
"Me too!" exclaimed Abel, eager to chime in and break up what was typically regarded as a public love-fest between the feisty pair.
"Me too!" Ed cried helpfully, casting a glance around as if to be wary for any smelly carriage drivers.
"I can't even get a carriage!" Deborah suddenly yelled in rage, surprising all those around her.
There was a pause, then they all laughed and walked together as they outright sang, "Everyone's a little bit racist, it's true!" Somewhere behind them, the Eyris Symphony orchestra, currently led by a tall, green-skinned fellow, began to practice for their concert later that afternoon. "But everyone is just about as racist as you!" They quickly found themselves spread out in a line, and their arms slid behind one another's backs and shoulders as, in unison, they began to kick their legs with the beat of the music.
"If we all could just admit, we're all racist a little bit!" Suddenly they broke and leaned together as they added, "And everyone stopped being so PC!" They broke from their formation and suddenly splayed their arms with jazz hands, walking forward together as they finished, "Maybe we could live in--"
There was a conspicuous pause as the music unexpectedly cut but for a few rogue bells, and then it resumed as they all sang together, "Harmony!"
The music cut again as Ayra shrugged, giggling, "Evelyone's a ritter bit lacist!"
