|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Sun Jan 02, 2005 3:28 pm
okies...I'll make this short, sweet and to the point. If anyone ever took a look at the pic of myself I posted that other girl would be the one I'm talking about.
I'm wanting to kill her. I'm wanting to kiss her. I'm wanting so bad to go on with my life and leave her to lie to other's so she can hide and slowly loose all of her friends. I'm wanting to hold and comfort her, telling her that she doesn't need to be so afraid of the real world that she thinks she has to lie to make and keep friends. I'm angry at her for lying to me after saying she never does and I'm sorry for her that she feels she has to lie to me if it's to get me to go away or not.
This hereditary gene I got from my mom for caring for other's and not being able to hold a grudge I'm starting to hate. It's what got her killed 10 years ago and I just know it's gonna do the same to me. It's already left it's scars on my heart and mind....body is just a matter of time.
I have only this to ask:
Should I go with what I feel is best for me or what I feel is right? Should I stay with her until she opens up to me fully or should I leave her alone, knowing that when ever she comes to school with scars on her it's because of me? Am I the one to suffer or is she? And for how long?
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Jan 02, 2005 3:35 pm
Neko~ You've found the meaning of life! Contradiction. 3nodding Confusing, ne? xd
Well, no one says you must take my opinion, but I would say leave her for a bit and let her handle things. Make sure she knows you're there for her if she really needs you, but -she- has to make the decision of whether or not to use you as a support. Just let her know the option is there. Even if you leave her, will she definitely resort to cutting? (or did you mean emotional scars? sweatdrop ) Anyway, just make sure she knows, you're there for her, you don't want her to hurt herself, but she has to make the decisions on her own. She needs to know you think/know she doesn't have to lie and she's a wonderful person.
I hope my ranting/ramblings have helped in -some- way. heart
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Jan 02, 2005 4:00 pm
let's just say it's another contradiction...but yes I did mean physically...then again I'm not sure that I even mean enought for her to do that....
I was reminded of 2 things when I was typing that other post.
the song 'I Hate Everything About You' from 3 Days Grace and an incredible GW fan-fic....I'm still in process of reading it...but it's really good.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Jan 02, 2005 5:36 pm
I wanna move out... right NOW. I'm sick of my stupid town and I hate this whole effin' state and I want out. My mom won't stop yelling at me and asking me where my brother is. I don't ******** know! I don't keep tabs on the little snot! >< But she asks anyway. And then if I say that I don't know, she gets totally pissed at me and starts yelling because I have no idea. I can't do anything right. =_=
And when she was going to take me to Target, our garbage cans were sitting on the sidewalk and she ran them over. How? I don't ********' know, but she did. So I got out of the car and told her I wouldn't let her drive me anywhere while she was all drunk and s**t.
I can't stand all this yelling anymore! Ya know what? I think I'd rather disappear than move out. Yesh... I'd like that. ********' Union. It's a stupid town... it's full of ghetto people who can't do anything but yell "holla!" and ********' shoot people or beat them to death. ><
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
LouCIte0mUh--Tanx4zTuFz Captain
|
Posted: Sun Jan 02, 2005 9:25 pm
;____;
zomg you guys. I'm scared as hell right now.
Seriously. I'm rocking back in forth in my seat crying my eyes out.
This is gonna seem really really stupid. But I swear to God, it scared the hell outta me.
I was watching the movie Ju-On, and it started to creep me out, so I shut it off, and decided to go to sleep. Then, it started to get really cold.
I have -no- idea whether I was dreaming or not. But I -know- I never fell asleep before this hapened.
I went to go curl up in my blankets, and when I rolled over, the OPPOSITE way, into my wall, I got pulled back, and I fell on the ground. I figured my blanket had just caught on something.
Then, I heard my closet door slam shut.
I started freaking out, and crying. I was so ******** scared.
Then I thought "I'm being stupid. I probably just imagined the door shutting."
So I got up and turned on the light, and went to open the closet door. I had this really weird spasm, and couldn't breathe, and like, two seconds later, I threw up blood all over my door.
Now all I can hear is this really loud squeaking sound outside, and it's scaring me so bad. ><
TT__TT
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jan 03, 2005 5:11 am
I um.... eek *isn't good with her ppl skills sweatdrop * ninja << >> *huggles when no ones looking whee * It'll be ok.....just no more scary movies for a while (if ever again unless with company) and well....not gunna go into my theorys but I hope everything worked out.... 3nodding *huggles more*
@Maki: *dussn kno wha ta say*
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
LouCIte0mUh--Tanx4zTuFz Captain
|
Posted: Mon Jan 03, 2005 10:47 am
Neko Strife Valor I um.... eek *isn't good with her ppl skills sweatdrop * ninja << >> *huggles when no ones looking whee * It'll be ok.....just no more scary movies for a while (if ever again unless with company) and well....not gunna go into my theorys but I hope everything worked out.... 3nodding *huggles more*
I'm fine now, of course. Just really tired. I went on the computer, talked to Priea, and watched Girls Gone Wild the rest of the night. xd gonk sweatdrop Yea, that required the use of emoticon abuse.
But I'm really stupid. Cause my mom would kill me if she knew I ordered a movie and never watched it. So I'm gonna finish it now, and sleep after. xDD Eheh... God, I'm a moron. ^-^;;;
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jan 03, 2005 10:50 am
Maron Sakuma Neko Strife Valor I um.... eek *isn't good with her ppl skills sweatdrop * ninja << >> *huggles when no ones looking whee * It'll be ok.....just no more scary movies for a while (if ever again unless with company) and well....not gunna go into my theorys but I hope everything worked out.... 3nodding *huggles more*
I'm fine now, of course. Just really tired. I went on the computer, talked to Priea, and watched Girls Gone Wild the rest of the night. xd gonk sweatdrop Yea, that required the use of emoticon abuse.
But I'm really stupid. Cause my mom would kill me if she knew I ordered a movie and never watched it. So I'm gonna finish it now, and sleep after. xDD Eheh... God, I'm a moron. ^-^;;;well...you said it...and using my motto...(the last 3 sentences of my new sig which for some reason isn't on here...) I'm going to run and hide.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jan 03, 2005 11:35 am
Maki! gonk Run away to Maryland so I can hide you!!! I wish I could say something to make you feel better and smile again. I wish I could just make everything better, but I guess all I can do is tell you I'm always here for you. heart heart
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jan 03, 2005 11:35 am
Maron, I don't think you should watch movies like Ju-on anymore. XD I'm guessing that Ju-on is scarier (and probably better) than The Grudge? If ya want, you can call me next time too... I never really sleep. >>
Which brings me to my own entry because I didn't sleep at all last night and instead I went to sleep at about the time I would be leaving to go to school... which is like, 6:30. And I just woke up and s**t. All I did was sleep all day and it felt good, and my back feels good too. Usually, I'd get up, get a drink, and go online to talk to people through this whole vacation, but since no one was on because of school, I slept, and slept, and now my back is all better! whee
And I'm also freezing cold. My blood sugar went low so I drank a glass of cold milk to get it up and now because the milk was cold, so am I! gonk Yeah...
I think I might just go to bed again. No one's on to talk to... >>
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jan 03, 2005 11:36 am
Maki! I'm on! blaugh But I have to go to the poetry circle thing... ._. Boring...anyway...I'll be back soon. 3nodding heart
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jan 03, 2005 11:40 am
Priea Maki! I'm on! blaugh But I have to go to the poetry circle thing... ._. Boring...anyway...I'll be back soon. 3nodding heart
Ah... but it was a good waste. XD
heart
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jan 03, 2005 12:06 pm
Silvermoonyoukai Priea Maki! I'm on! blaugh But I have to go to the poetry circle thing... ._. Boring...anyway...I'll be back soon. 3nodding heart
Ah... but it was a good waste. XD
heart I'd love to waste away a day!!! gonk My god, I'd love that. gonk My english teacher's an evil b***h from hell who enjoys torment of the mental kind. gonk gonk domokun
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jan 03, 2005 4:18 pm
Well... I just got done watching Ju-on. It was ok. I was expecting better than The Grudge, but in truth, I liked The Grudge a lot better. 'Twas freakier. I watched it with my brother and we were just making fun of it the whole time. I had to keep pausing it though... my mom kept coming in and out of my room yelling at me to get my brother to clean the litter, then to find Miko (the cat that sleeps in her room) and take him to her room, then she told me I had to pay for the Chinese food she ordered, so I scraped up some of my money and paid for it. ._.
Meh, I'm glad I'm going to school tomorrow. I don't wanna deal with this anymore.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jan 03, 2005 4:49 pm
Oh, poor Maki! If I wasn't poor, I'd give you money. 3nodding But it's always fun to make laugh at scary movies. xd
o.o I adopted Maron, so you and her are sisters now. 3nodding ...that is, if you still don't mind me adopting you. xd
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
