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rofl That reminds me of some things. I'm an odd duck in quite a few more ways then just being CF, so I actually do have one simple answer to somebody you love wanting kids when you don't -- have the person also be involved with some one (or multiple other someones) who DO want kids that they can have kids with. Let the two or more of them be responsible for those kids, say "I'm in it for you and unless I decide I like them as people when they get older, I've got nothing to do with your kids." Also, I was talking to somebody who does want kids the other day and knows very well I don't and they said to me something to the effect of "Well, if you ever do decide you want kids, I wouldn't mind obliging." and I told them then "If I ever went nuts and lost myself like that, you'd do me a FAR greater service by smacking me then being an enabler."
And I've always assumed the married people here were at least mid twenties too. ninja

True, we do all seem more mature then lots of people our age and thus assumably, older. 3nodding

You get 10 extra cool points that. cool Welcome to the select club of people who understand the ability to openly love pizza AND cake (and even water melon too and so on if you want) without having to just pick one and only one favorite forever and forsake all else. *hands you an official membership card* (the pizza and cake is a metaphor. Just stating that since the internet often makes it harder to figure out. ninja )And my plan for that instance does indeed involve having my own room to go hide out in and kick anybody shorter then myself out of (as short as I am, you'd almost have to be a kid or a dwarf to get kicked out by that rule.) pirate Said room should be on the side of the house opposite the kid(s) rooms.

Best is the life where you don't have to pick door A or door B -- you can pick door C, behind which are the contents of both A and B. 3nodding

It's what I've always done and it's worked out very nicely. Nobody tells me "It's the video games or me! mad " or "You have to choose! It's me or [other friend]!" I like it this way. cool

I could never imagine telling someone something like that. If someone is really your friend/love, then they should at least respect you enough to let you pursue your interests.

EXACTLY! The things both of you said, I wish more people would get them, I really, really do. It would make things SO much easier. Probably put a good number of relationship councilors out of work, but oh well, they can work in other fields of therapy because it would be worth it. razz

A friend of mine JUST went through this. Now, she wants kids as badly as I don't want them, and I'm so militantly childfree I could be considered pathological. She was unsure exactly where her boyfriend stood, despite having brought it up frequently, so she sat down and had the talk with him.

Unfortunately for her, he doesn't ever want kids, or the kind of family enviroment that she wants, so they broke up.

I am firmly convinced that this was the right thing to do, for both of them. Something that major should be discussed early in any relationship, BEFORE the individual becomes the love of your life. Otherwise, heartache ensues.

You're right about that, a lot of people really don't understand that you can grow up and not have to get married or have kids or do anything considered 'normal.' That was the main problem between me and my husband. His family is very baby-centric, and he really didn't understand that someone could not have kids. Fortunetly for me, he thought it over and decided that our two cats and a dog is enough family for us. smile