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 Posted: Wed Nov 12, 2008 7:25 pm
RrrrrrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrr
That was definitly an unpleasant noise. And Vincent, who had gotten a brunt of "STOPFREAKINGI'LLBRBUGHHISSSPIT" in the past was probably well aware of what sort of snapping that sound was precursor to. Yes, a 'I'll snap your head off kthnx' snap.
Ugh, it felt like he was petting a melting part of acid soap covered in grime too.
" 'Living with' is a good way to put it. You see, you're little cousin here pissed off a fun little group of people,"
True
"And I'm pretty damned sure now that if you were asking around about me, his bodyguard, you just opened a floodgate for the two of us to be tracked down and your cousin, and all those connected to him, to be mauled into a bloody pulp."
Oooh, such a nice lie (and yet it seemed so true in a way).
"Now, do you really want to come inside and chat when who knows what hells you've let know we're IN this town come descending upon us to rip our throats out and put our heads on a bloody pole?"
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Posted: Wed Nov 12, 2008 9:20 pm
Oooh s**t, that was the sound of approaching DOOM and Vincent knew it from the moment he first heard, actually inclined to sink a little further behind the couch incase he suddenly needed to throw himself behind it to avoid a bloodbath.
... Yeah, specifically, a bloodbath using his adorable cousin's eviscerated corpse.
Even Pooky seemed to catch the horrible and sudden tension of the atmosphere, stilling his gargle-purr COMPLETELY for once to take a listen. Too bad that the one who should've been most concerned was hopelessly ignorant of the danger he was in, though...
Or the danger he'd quite possibly just put them ALL in, WHOOPS.
"......." There was a long pause as the green-eyed fellow just stood there leering between Vince and his so-called 'bodyguard', appearing to regard the whole mess with a GREAT deal of clueless suspicion until he finally let out a sharp huff, sighed heavily, and ran a hand through his bangs.
"Look here, then, Mister Bodyguard," he said at last in a rather sharp, snippish tone, "I'm not interested in your silly little backhanded threats right now; all I want is a harmless damn talk with my idiotic schizoid of a--"
CRACKHISSHRIEKYELP
And DOWN went dearest Grayson with a cry to end all cries and the end-all pride-rending blow, having just been PUNCHED IN THE FACE and knocked flat on his a** by a LIVID, BRISTLING, DISGRUNTLED--
"... Holy s**t, Vince, what happened to you?"
Granted that he was gargling his speech out through the fierce clutching of a bloody nose, but it was still enough to make the aggressor freeze STIFF in the doorway, realizing his error a SPLIT SECOND too late.
... Well <********>.
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Posted: Wed Nov 12, 2008 9:31 pm
Well if Vince had waited three seconds, Alex would have gotten to it first. But it seemed that the oh so slightly horribly hidden cat was out of the bag, prompting Alex to set Pooky back on the ground ever so gently with a light "Sorry kitty, bad time for affections" (he probably made the cat think it had a chance), before he threw his bulk in front of Vince.
And then came that deep set noise again.
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrr.
"General Sheng Kanda - Blackmail for torture of his eldest child and only son. Price: Two thousand gold every four months. Trade off: His wife and Daughter don't learn of it.
Sylvis DuCreane of Zanadu - Assassination. Payoff: twenty thousand gold. Trade off: Half his gang is after my head."
And lord was he listing. He added on a good two more bad names to mess with before he added a last one as a warning:
"Grayson - Paid protection. Price: Keeping his damned mouth shut and walking away now. Trade off: He doesn't get his throat ripped out with a fork."
And he certainly sounded as though he'd do it.
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Posted: Wed Nov 12, 2008 10:42 pm
... And if the guy hadn't stepped in front of Vince right then, the smaller male could have easily eviscerated Cousin Dearest before Alex even started making his little threat list, only restrained by the wall of one very broad back and every shaking ounce of self-control SOMEHOW overriding his INCREDIBLE URGE TO BE VIOLENT... ER.
Well at least now Grayson finally seemed to get it through his DAMN DENSE SKULL that 'Patches' wasn't just screwing around (... AH HA HA), still sprawled on his a** and not even bothering to try and get up as he listened-- in silent horror-- to several some VERY unsettling names being rattled off.
Particularly the first. Good lord, this guy was seriously a... scary, scary son of a b***h.
(Pooky was seriously the only one who could've taken the scene as endearing. Oh, how STRONG and VALIANT his marbled masterpiece of a man was!)
"Y-You're... You're really..." Really serious as a heart attack, the guy was no doubt trying to garble out... but it was inferred enough anyway as he stumbled to his feet, face still glazed over in a look of horror, finally stumbling to his feet and taking a veeeery cautious back step. "... S-s**t, what the hell did you--"
"Just get out of here, Grayson," Vince hissed, voice cracking a little for some odd reason... though that didn't hamper the effectiveness of his comment in the slightest, because the fuzzier tabby IMMEDIATELY turned tail and took off with a blanching nod, practically RUNNING off down the sidewalk.
..............
"... ******** dumbass," the smaller 'victor' mumbled, sighing heavily and... what, why was he balling himself up on the end of the couch facing the wrong way? Shoving his face into a back pillow to hiss, apparently? "Goddamn ******** dumbass and his stupid..." Gah, and s**t, now his hand hurt too; maybe he shouldn't have punched hard enough to CRACK his own KNUCKLES that time, huh.
This was all such FAIL, AAARGH.
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Posted: Thu Nov 13, 2008 9:09 am
Of course this earned a silent sigh from Alexander who massaged this temples and went to sit in one of the chairs in the living room. Deep breaths.
I'm not going to hunt down the moron cousin, I'm not going to hunt down the moron cousin, I'm not going to hunt down the moron cousin....... Yeah, maybe that would be enough to calm him down for a while...
...
Hopefully.
Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiisssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
Wow. That really had put his good ol' domesticated hubbikins in a foul mood, hadn't it? In fact, he was massaging his forehead oh-so-unhappily at the moment. Which.... Ehhhh... yeah.
"And might I add that everything I said was true: Congratulations. You now know what my 'job' is."
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Posted: Thu Nov 13, 2008 9:49 am
If Vincent hadn't had his FACE buried in the upholstery right then, there was no doubt he would've been right there with the hissfest. In act, he did seem to be growling into his little muffler... and what a glorious, miserable string of profanity it was, still frowning deeply when he finally came back up for air and gave Alex a look.
There were a lot of people out there who probably would've been 'shocked' over such a revelation, but the frizzy tabby barely batted a lash.
"Ah, I... figured as much already, man." He hadn't been stupid enough to forget that night with the Masters family a few weeks back. What had it been called back then-- 'monetary transfers' from 'high-ranking officials' or something? A pretty damn frilly way to explain blackmail to someone, but still true enough. "I... gotta say, though, those're some pretty top-class bastards you've got wrapped around your finger..."
Especially that first one; god, leverage of someone that influential up in Xorosho meant the guy could practically-- ... No, actually, better not to think on it too much.
But hey, it could've been worse, right? At least Pooky had been shut back out on the porch again?...
"And that idiot probably did go snooping around to find me too, <********>..." he added-- more to himself than anything-- with a dull groan, oddly tempted to bury his face RIGHT back in the couch pillows. "I'm gonna get myself lynched and Auntie'll have a new family 'scandal' to b***h about for the next ******** couple of decades..."
Because he already knew that word would spread up there now, dammit-- not just of the long lost (black) sheep being rediscovered, but how he was living with his big manly bodyguard and actually p-- ...
Uuuuugh he felt sick all over again. This was all such FAIL and DO NOT WANT, SOB.
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Posted: Thu Nov 13, 2008 10:57 am
Alex seemed to have joined in on the 'swearing under breath' party, a frown planted firmly on his face as he massaged his forehead. Yeah... the only 'good' thing about it all was that Vincent hadn't had a 'ZOMGYERCRAZYGITAWAYFROMMEBEFOREYOUGETMEANDMAHBABYKILLED'...
..
'Their' baby, really... UUUUGGGGHHHHHHHH. Life would forever be awkward. Especially if the little thing that got popped out was female. He didn't know how to treat little girls. What would they do? Dress it up in little pink dresses and have to listen to her grow up talking about the 'cute boiz at skewl'?
...
....
He needed to stop that before it got too far ahead of him.
"I'd like to see anybody try with me around. I do have a couple more names I hadn't put on that list from earlier."
Though General KANDA was enough of a 'safe' one. Ah ha ha.
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Posted: Thu Nov 13, 2008 12:04 pm
Yeeeah, maybe if he'd had gotten the heads-up on Alex's charming 'lifestyle choices' a few months back before he'd wound up sleeping with the guy and sharing quarters/conversation/constant company for so long, Vince might've been a bit more predisposed to the OHGODDANGEROUSBADGUY freakout. But he hadn't, so it wasn't the case, and...
Hell, just because he had some dirty money getting trafficked around didn't make him the evil scum of the earth!
... Then again, the latter male was a little biased to think that his 'hubbikins' was decent because he'd had the luxury of staying pretty sheltered to anything unsavory going on (was it?), huh. Oh well.
"Well, good to hear you're confident, at least," he mumbled, having settled for a compromise on the urge to SMOTHER himself in the couch upholstery by twisting around and curling up against the arm rest instead. There, that felt... not too much better, actually, seeing as he was still FULL OF STRESS (and had that damn nagging baby pain in his back, siiigh), but at least he felt more productive for it.
Felt, not was, sadly.
"Seriously, though..." Another of those anxious sighs, running both hands through his hair and keeping them rested at the back up his neck. "This is gonna spread like wildfire back home... Maybe I should just..."
Go up there and sort it out myself, he wanted to say, but felt too ILL to do so. No, that was a SUCK and FAIL option too, even if it would've been the 'braver' thing to do. Uuugh, DO NOT WANT. Cue another groan.
"I should've punched him harder. Maybe he would've forgotten he ever saw us or something..."
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Posted: Thu Nov 13, 2008 1:04 pm
"Offer to tear his throat out with a fork is still up in the air." he replied with a groan.
Well the way he saw it was his 'worst fate' would be getting dragged out to Xorosho to meet the inlaws, get assessed, be dragged out back to be attemptedly shot in the back of the head while Vince was forced into aborting their dear little baby.
...
.....
...
Yeah. That wouldn't be happening.
However, that didn't prevent Alex from massaging his forehead with a rather frustrated look on his face, his own special slur of curses (Probably Yossarian-rivalling at that) before he got up and wandered into the kitchen.
He'd just hack something to bits with a knife to relieve some of his slooooowwwwwlllyyy penting-up tensions.Yes, they'd just see how far off it was before he went out to stab someone with a fork.
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Posted: Thu Nov 13, 2008 1:26 pm
"Nnn, stop tempting me, dammit..."
And the more Vincent thought about it, the more tempting it really DID sound to just hunt down their one current problem before he could rejoin the 'others' and spread any unnecessary information... but alas, no, somehow he suspected that that plan would go HORRIBLY WRONG and wind up digging them even deeper into their sinkhole of FAIL.
... Yeah, because somehow Grayson would survive the fork mauling to go limping back and tell the others how his dearest cousin was not only living with and knocked up by his patchy little 'bodyguard', but that the father in question had VIOLENTLY IMPALED HIM WITH A RUSTY KITCHEN UTENSIL TOO.
Which would probably result in all the horrible consequences Alex had dreamed up that supposedly weren't happening.
On that note, where was he wandering off to, anyway? Kitchen again? Well, hacking up s**t with sharp things must've been stress relieving.
"God dammit..." was the final curse he mumbled (still to himself), sinking a little lower into his corner-nest on the couch and grabbing his tail to TRY and smooth the fur down. Not that it worked very well, though, seeing as every time he patted it down the whole thing frizzed RIGHT BACK UP again. "Why does this have to be so complicated?..."
Really, wasn't having a kid bad enough on its own?
Why'd they have to get so much damn BAGGAGE trying to drag them down alongside it, too?
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Posted: Thu Nov 13, 2008 2:14 pm
Oh please, like Alexander wasn't tempted to hell and back? Oh, yes he was. In fact, right now he was using one of their 'older' forks (as he'd just gotten some second-hand ones. Nnn, was cheaper and not like they'd get tetanus if they were diligent in their cleaning) to stab........
...
The cutting board.
However after a minute or so of that horrible noise, he moved on to other things, sighing and returning to the living room to sit in his chair of choice once again, massaging his forehead.
"Broke the fork....
Perhaps we should mail it to your cousin?"
That..
...
Was actually a really hilarious idea given the current circumstances.
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Posted: Thu Nov 13, 2008 7:05 pm
Okay, stabbing a cutting board with nothing on it probably wasn't the best idea in the world (and with Alex's strength it'd probably end up wrecking every instrument involved), but it had actually spawned some worthwhile 'inspiration' to cheer poor Vince up a bit, who winced (PAINFULLY) at the awful sound of snapping metal and then took a quiet moment's pause to... think.
Or plot.
"... Actually, that sounds like a pretty good idea." No, even more than that; it was a DAMN GREAT idea. "We should. I want that dumbass to keep his damn trap shut as long as possible..."
Which was pretty much wishful thinking anyway because Grayson would probably spill everything before the 'gift' ever made it to Xorosho, huh.
... s**t, thinking about the 'realistic' outcome of everything just ruined all the fun. He was right back to feeling queasy and miserable again!
"So, uh..." Any cheerful sarcasm was drained from his voice as he gave his (not so) little 'mate' a serious (if not slightly worried) look. "Are we just gonna threaten the hell out of him and cross our fingers?..."
Good question-- and what about the other possible repercussions they might wind up dealing with? Just how much damage could one brainless relative cause?
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Posted: Thu Nov 13, 2008 7:11 pm
Hnnnn. That was true. How far should they have gone to make sure everything was in order and not ruined for them?
"Well if we can somehow keep your relatives away for another four months, we can conveniently take the kid - Are we calling it Beck? - well, the kid can conveniently be out being 'babysat' when they come to visit...
...
..
Or you can always pretend to be a girl when they come over."
The mental image of the HORRIBLY PREGNANT Vince as a girl was...
...
...
Actually a bit brain breaking, ironically. Yes, the mental image of something PREGNANT looking FEMALE felt out of place. Oh the humor that could be had because of it.
"That feels sadly unlikely to happen, though."
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Posted: Thu Nov 13, 2008 8:25 pm
'... Or you can always pretend to be a g--'
Oh HELL NO.
Whether Alex had meant it in jest or just made the suggestion carelessly in passing, it still got an IMMEDIATE response from Vincent-- and how-- stiffening noticeably as every strand of hair he'd worked SO HARD to smooth back down on his tail pricked out again, frowning deeply.
"I'd rather shoot myself than be a goddamn cross dresser!" Oh, goodness, he sounded a little snappier that usual too-- but seemed to realize this upon hearing his own voice and immediately cleared his throat, forcing a deep in and out breath.
"Uh... I mean... see, thing is, I'm pretty sure we won't have to worry about too many of them down here," he mumbled quickly, "most of 'em probably wouldn't set foot on the surface if you payed them, sans a few cousins and stuff. Hell, they still probably never leave the house..."
But that wasn't enough to save them, oh no. Vince knew better than to entertain THAT kind of wishful thinking. If anything, they'd somehow get dragged up to the sky-city instead, summoned against their will to face the horror of his STUPID STUPID FAMILY.
s**t, this was just a no-win situation every way he looked at it.
He sighed heavily and buried his face in his palm. "... Man, I'm so screwed, that a**..."
Stress might not've been 'good for the baby', but it sure as hell wasn't doing HIM a fat lot of good right now either.
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Posted: Thu Nov 13, 2008 8:49 pm
Yeahno. There was no way in hell anybody would be getting him up to Xorosho. As 'fun' as that would be, he was not looking forward to beingabazillionfeetaboveground..
..
And that much closer to the man he was blackmailing. Only god knew that he'd step off whatever dock and be tackled down and have his throat ripped out in like...
..
Four seconds.
"Well if it's bothering you so much, I could find which hotel he's staying in and leave him a little love note..."
AKA He'd invade poor Grayson's room and leave a Rusty Fork sticking out of his headboard. Which would probably be terrifying in some sense. A major sense considering it was just some guy who had been given a heart attack by his rap sheet.
Alex was a boon and a horrid thing all at once.
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