Welcome to Gaia! ::

hey alex dude i was wondering if like u could come 2 tatooine and like come to qurazy's shop and find my character cuz im really bored and i kinda collapsed in his shop and he's not here to find me. if u please sir but if u cant its ok w/ me. i was just wondering.

That doesn't make sense. The point to live is to live? Of course I don't believe that. Hell, I don't know what the hell I do believe. And I don't see anything to look forward to in the near or distant future.

I might as well be dead, I feel like I am.

Whats the point of hunting down someone who is dead? Smart one.

Dude think of it this way.


How will your sister feel?

even if you have to spend the night and listen to her snu-snu go and ask her how she would feel if you died exclaim

GmShRkN said the same thing to me on AIM, Alex.

He said people who commit suicide are selfish and only think about themselves and not those who love them.

Well I'll tell you what. I do care about those who love me, and that is practically the only thing holding me back. And even then I don't know how long 'unconditional' love well mean anything to me. You'd think they'd notice after a while.

I'm just so sick of these feelings. I was laying in bed, and didn't know if I wanted to just goto sleep, or throw a tantrum, or ball my eyes out, or jump onto my computer. I was just so fustrated and I hate that.

Deal with it. Hah. That's what a shitload of people used to say to me in Jr. High when I had these feelings. Boy did that help. I don't think you quite understand, it's not like that. If there was something I could see I could do, then I wouldn't be complaining about motivation would I?


I think a lot of the problem is that no one really cares about what I do anyways. I don't care what anyone says, the basis of doing basically anything is to share it with others, or somehow effect how you interact with people. And that's it. No one could give a s**t about what I do on an everyday basis. The only things I feel motivated to do is to make a game people will enjoy. Because as of late I actually get a reaction from that. That, and write. But writing gets you s**t, really. Those are the only two things people notice of me, really. My own parents couldn't give a rats a** about what I do.

This is how I see it.

And for the record whenever I talk anything relative to this to me so-called 'friends' they laugh. Some friends. I know a majority of people in my school and know that most of them act like that. Friends to be strong for.... hah. People who I hang out with seem to respect me. But whenever I mention anything like what I do they just laugh. "Don't go suicidal on me now." and "Yeah, you suck." They don't get it. I don't think they comprehend the sincerity of it at all.

I never really understood why my sister acts the way she does anyway. She used to treat me like s**t. And we all pretty much agree now, we're all pretty certain she has bipolar, even she believes so. And half the time she's asking me for money. I don't asume anything there, but I really don't see anything from that.

look rooster think of how the rest of us would feel lie
me
toast
courtney
and everyone else who i forgot to mention that talks to you rooster the next time my gaian gf takes me to a cuddle party or what not we are getting you a gaian girlfriend so at least you will have a little something to live for you have to live that long ok