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 Posted: Wed Feb 23, 2005 4:12 pm
"I DUN WANNA TALK TO YOU NO MORE YOU EMPTY HEADED ANIMAL FOOD FROTH WHOPER! I FART IN YOUR GENERAL DIRECTION, YOU MOTHER WAS A HAMPSTER AND YOUR FATHER SMELT OF ELDERBERRIES!"
Monty Python
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Posted: Wed Feb 23, 2005 4:16 pm
"So, um, anything you can do to help would be very.... helpful..."
Monty Python
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Posted: Wed Feb 23, 2005 4:19 pm
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Posted: Thu Feb 24, 2005 4:22 am
Igor: You know, I'll never forget my old dad. When these things would happen to him... the things he'd say to me.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: What did he say?
Igor: "What the hell are you doing in the bathroom day and night? Why don't you get out of there and give someone else a chance?"
-Young Frankenstein
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Posted: Thu Feb 24, 2005 4:23 am
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Igor, would you mind telling me whose brain I did put in?
Igor: And you won't be angry?
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: I will NOT be angry.
Igor: Abby someone.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Abby someone. Abby who?
Igor: Abby Normal.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Abby Normal?
Igor: I'm almost sure that was the name.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Are you saying that I put an abnormal brain into a seven and a half foot long, fifty-four inch wide GORILLA? IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE TELLING ME?
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Posted: Thu Feb 24, 2005 4:24 am
Inga: Werewolf
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Werewolf?
Igor: There.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: What?
Igor: There wolf. There castle.
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Posted: Thu Feb 24, 2005 4:25 am
Igor: Dr. Frankenstein...
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: "Fronkensteen."
Igor: You're putting me on.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: No, it's pronounced "Fronkensteen."
Igor: Do you also say "Froaderick"?
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: No..."Frederick."
Igor: Well, why isn't it "Froaderick Fronkensteen"?
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: It isn't; it's "Frederick Fronensteen."
Igor: I see.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: You must be Igor.
[He pronounces it ee-gor]
Igor: No, it's pronounced "eye-gor."
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: But they told me it was "ee-gor."
Igor: Well, they were wrong then, weren't they?
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Posted: Thu Feb 24, 2005 6:31 am
(During a conversation about the tsunami, and why mother nature does these things, with my dad)
Me: "Remember, dad. "To lose is to find, and to find is to lose."
My dad: " That was deep Harry, but it convinced me that you're on drugs."
Me: "Nope. I learned that from a video game."
My dad: "Exactly. Drugs."
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Posted: Thu Feb 24, 2005 10:01 am
"Of course im out of my mind its dark and scary in there!"---Eh, forgot
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Posted: Thu Feb 24, 2005 10:02 am
"Life it seems, will fade away,
Drifting further every day,
Getting lost within myself,
Nothing matters no one else." --- Thoughts of a Sick Girl
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Posted: Thu Feb 24, 2005 10:06 am
See the World in a grain of sand
And a Heaven in a Wild Flower,
Hold Infinity in the Palm of your hand
And Eternity in an Hour. --- I don't remember.
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Posted: Thu Feb 24, 2005 10:07 am
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette ZZZhead.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?" --- My Email
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Posted: Thu Feb 24, 2005 10:09 am
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, She's dead. " ---More Email
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Posted: Thu Feb 24, 2005 10:10 am
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.."
"Yes," the class said.
"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
A little fellow shouted,
"Cause your feet ain't empty." --- Even MORE email.
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Posted: Thu Feb 24, 2005 10:11 am
A Sunday school teacher: was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy: (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill." --- EMAIL!
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