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 Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 5:53 pm
Haha, Controlling and Submissive, is it? That can be a pretty common set up in couples. It sort of blows.
And Wnx, you seem pretty honest. At least you aren't puffed up with a stoic and cold image of yourself.
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Posted: Sat May 17, 2008 11:52 am
My problem is a bit similar to another person's, but a few different circumstances.
Okay, there was this girl in fourth grade named Kenzie. I liked her, throughout the year.
I went to fifth grade with her. Liked her throughout the year. I took her to the school dance.
Started sixth grade with her, still liked her. Moved halfway through the year.
Didn't talk to her for the rest of sixth, or seventh.
In eighth, an old friend of mine was holding a pool party. What he didn't tell me was that she was going to be there.
So, we're all in the pool, and I'm kindof awkward, (I've been gone for a year and a half,) and me and Kenzie talk for a bit. Just idle smalltalk.
About an hour later, my old best friend, (the one throwing the party,) came over to me. He said he knew I liked Kenzie, it was obvious.
At this point, Kenzie is in the house with some of her friends. My friend gets out of the pool, dries off, and proceeds to stroll into the house and tell her, in front of all her friends.
They all come outside, (Minus Kenzie,) and stare at me.
That was almost a year ago. Kenzie won't talk to me. E-mail, phone, AIM, she never answers.
...And for some reason, I feel rather guilty.
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Posted: Sun May 18, 2008 3:35 am
Ah! Well, firstly let me say sorry. Because this seems like well....Textbook disaster.
Unfortunately, you cannot make someone talk to you. But you can persist, and ask people that talk to her, to ask her what she really thinks of all this.
I would assume that the reason you never asked her out through all of those years would be because you were shy/embaressed? And thought it would be silly to ask her after you had left it for so long. Which is understandable.
However, i wouldn't suggest repeated and unending e-mails etc... Since that will make her hesitant to talk to you, making you seem like more of a nuisance and someone who cared.
I would suggest talking to her friends and perhaps asking them to talk to her, but try not to pry.
I would also wait for Froggie to speak her mind on this, she would be far more helpful than i am.
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Posted: Sun May 18, 2008 4:56 pm
NONE of them will talk to me. Out of my three best friends, two of them haven't talked to me since.
One has, but he doesn't get along well with any of her friends.
Yeah, I'm kinda shy.
I've called three times, sent two e-mails, and tried contacting her on AIM once. Pushy?
And you're being plenty helpful. Have a higher opinion of yourself.
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Posted: Sun May 18, 2008 9:59 pm
You only feel guilty because she feels awkward, and you blame that uncomfortable silence on yourself. The truth is, you were right to tell her (although whether or not she wanted to hang out with you more, you forced her hand in a way by telling her in front of her friends. She might've had time to think more about you if you had pulled her to the side and said something)
Whatever you do, deal with the girl you like and keep her friends out of it, whenever you can. They may mean well, but they can interfere with how she feels about you.
In this case, the fact that she's not getting back to you probably means that telling her you liked her was either too quick for her, or she doesn't feel the same way. Don't keep calling etc, she doesn't want to be chased. (imo)
Just do yourself a favor and try to figure out what it is that you really like about her, so that in the future you can find someone with those same good qualitites.
...Don't feel guilty, really. Love is awkward for everyone. It's very possible that she feels guilty for not calling you back, but doesn't want to send you a signal that she likes you, if she doesn't. She may have just wanted to see an old friend.
By saying 'I like you' you became a friend with expectations of her. (In a way)
....knock me off my horse if I'm wrong. lol. neutral
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Posted: Mon May 19, 2008 2:47 am
Well Frog he wasn't the one that told her, it was his friend.
And well no Isaac, that isn't that pushy. But things can appear different from other people's perspective, keep that in mind.
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Posted: Mon May 19, 2008 6:45 am
So, basically, give her some space, and some time to think?
The last time I tried contacting her was around a month ago...
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Posted: Wed May 28, 2008 8:57 pm
Well, you could try to just treat her like any of your other friends, see if she responds to that. That way you'll be comfortable around each other, and it's a start.
I have a great friend that I really used to like and still do admire who treated me naturally even after things didn't work out, now he's married to an amazing girl who suit him much better, and I didn't lose his friendship. It meant a lot to me that he didn't let be more awkward then they had to be.
(I always write these things late, hope it's making sense)
And dude, I hate it when other people lay my business out to dry. O_____o;
What did you say to your friend?
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Posted: Thu Jun 05, 2008 4:03 pm
I can't contact her, period. And I'm not exactly comfortable with showing up at her front door.
This is actually the first relationship I've ever attempted to be in. -_-;
I can't believe he just walked in and told her. It pissed me off to no end.
And he's one of the two 'best friends' that refuse to talk to me.
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Posted: Sat Jun 07, 2008 7:50 pm
It's been a little while, but this one may just need more time. (This is the new Isaac btw everybody)
So what did you say to him? Why isn't your friend speaking with you anymore?
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Posted: Mon Jun 09, 2008 5:04 pm
Out of my three best friends, two of them put me in the same situation as Kenzie. They've cut off all contact, period. I dunno whi.
The one that went and told her is one of the two that refuse to talk to me... The only one left doesn't live in the same city, and doesn't know any of them.
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Posted: Tue Jun 10, 2008 6:28 am
Ah yes... friends cutting you off, I've been through the same. I experienced one and a half year of depression until I could handle being independent and lonely, it's good to learn, you'll develop alot more as an individual, you do what you feel like doing and you can spend time on yourself rather than others. If you're an mmorpg player you are most likely to find a good friend, lonely people always find em somehow, whether it be someone from another country or the same.
You can always control your life, if people don't want to be a part of it, then it's their loss. Sometimes you just have to think more about yourself to handle reality.
I've had friends who came and went, usually you make friends in school, I'd call them the most unreliable friends, even though you can become close, you're bound to go separate ways unless you all have the same dreams. Rather than dwelling on past friends that doesn't appreciate your efforts, maybe it's better to make new ones that last. Easier said than done, but as long as you do your best, there won't be any major problems.
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Posted: Tue Jun 10, 2008 6:19 pm
Very well said, Mattea. I couldn't have put that one any better.
My period of loneliness was the most painful time in my life, but I am light years ahead of where my friends who had everything then are now.
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Posted: Fri Jun 13, 2008 1:45 am
...I guess you're right.
Thank you, everyone.
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Posted: Sat Jun 14, 2008 6:03 pm
Sure, when are you getting your inventory back? You should enter the giveaway, and win something!! heart blaugh heart
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