Welcome to Gaia! ::

I'd join!

. . . If I figure out IRC.

Today I held Tiger in my hands, stroking her chin and face, unable to see her eyes, as she laid on the veterinary surgery table. I didn't want to cry in front of my Mother, but I couldn't stop. The vet came into the room, but I couldn't look at him. I couldn't look at the needle in his hands, all I wanted was for her to lift her head and look at me, but she didn't.

I felt her go limp in my hands, and he moved her back, so she was sprawled on her side. I couldn't stop staring at her eyes. Her pupils were huge, and her eyes were so yellow and bright, she was so still but she looked so alive.

I hate this so much. I hate tumours.

I went to buy cake ingredients straight afterwards, standing behind my Mother as she spoke to the staff she worked with, whispering to them that her daughter's cat had to be put to sleep. When my brother and eldest sister got home this evening - they both asked how I was. I didn't understand why at first. Then Robert stood by me as I decorated the cake, just mumbling things. I know he was trying to make me feel better, but I didn't want to talk about it.

I never want to talk about this to anyone. I keep accidently mentioning her, and then I feel horrible for it. I got the spare pillows off of my bed to lend to my sister and all I could think was, "I don't need these anymore, Tiger isn't here to sleep on them by me. Who will wake me up in the morning?"

I just can't stop crying.

I'm very sorry to hear that Darky. I don't know if this is appropriate, but it is my belief that pets share the souls of their owners. I'm sure Tiger will be waiting for you on the other side.

This is very late in coming, but I am truly sorry for your loss Darky.
I am still trying to get over the death of my dog (little sister in my heart), Daisy. She was put to sleep over two years ago. I will still cry if I talk about what happened to her... I'm holding it back right now just thinking about it.
She got disease in her back leg that slowly ate the bones, muscles, and nerves in the area. It eventually spread to her spine. If the vets hadn't misdiagnosed her, she would have survived. But they realized their mistake too late. Daisy was a sad creature in her last few months. I distanced myself from her because it was too hard for me to even look at her. I will never forgive myself for such a big mistake.
I never got a chance to say goodbye to my little sister. I was watching Saturday morning TV when I looked out the window and saw my Dad leading Daisy to the car on her leash. Her tail was wagging, and with what strength she had left, she pulled herself into the back of the car. I knew she thought she was going to Tim Hortons. That's where we always took her. The ladies who worked there gave her timbits when we went. The obvious thing would be that that was where Dad was taking her. Somehow though ...in some way, I knew. I knew where she was going. I got a lump in my throat and I ran to the window. I watched the car pull out the driveway.
I flew upstairs and cried, and felt the worst pain I've ever experienced in my life.
Just like that, a huge part of my life was gone.
The worst thing about it ...the words that I kept mumbling over and over again to myself as I cried ...was that I never said goodbye.

I know the pain Darky. I send my love to you, and I hope you are feeling better, or do feel better soon heart

Just throwing this out there so you dudes know. I'm without a computer. She finally bit the dust and is laying in beeping fatality. It could be a long time until I have access to a computer again. My limited time online as of now will not be spent on Gaia much at all.

[I just had to come in here and say.... leg hair + socks = sock pain.]

[Not having the internet is weird/annoying.]