the von helsings awoke in the middle of the night to a noise that sounded like........someone stepped on a cat...... that looked suspiciously like a frog in a hat but was in fact a.... mutated beetle wearing a pimp hat, so they rushed downstairs to talk to it when..... the great cookie god knocked on the door carrying... a dead monkey and a gallon of milk, along with a pair of...... huge scissors used mostly for running with even though they were sold on ebay because of... the last person who held them, which was Michael Jackson's...... pet bubbles who had runaway to write a book about... life as a celebrity pet, but he didn't live to finish it because the great cookie god..... mistook him for a choc chip leading to a rather messy... baking incedent and the only person who could bring Bubbles back to life was one of the Von Helsons, but...they were too busy trying to superglue there v-pins but they just couldnt... fit the right pieces together, because the great lord of iron smashed it with a hammer and it... turned into plastic making it worthless the von helsons were absoloutley... devastated and didn't want to talk about it, so they yelled at the great cookie god to... find the great gobleding the only creature in the known universe that could... make V-pins out of dead monkeys, but the great cookie god kept trying to tell the Von Helsons that the great gobleding was... in fact britney spears working undercover with her friend... Jessica Simpson, who was related to the Von Helsons, thus confirming that the Von Helsons could... in fact carry the stupidity gene believing that tuna was chicken and..... The great cookie god was outraged that there was really no way the monkey could be brought back now, so the Von Helsons..made one out of clay and straws but it looked more like... a voodoo doll of some sort and when one of the three witches Macbeth knew long ago found out about this she... placed an order for three of them one for her and one for her two sisters who had long since been.... trapped in blocks of jello and couldn't..... eat their way out quick enough so with the aid of a few peeps and some free drinks they finally managed to... finally be set free without starving to death, but things took a turn for the worse when... the jello aallergies kicked in causing everyone to... break out in rainbow hives and everytime they scratched they released some form of toxic fumes that would... slowly kill them by playing the spice girls over and over and over until... their heads and throats started to swell, but luckilly... there was a cure, playing bongos naked whilst... spinning in circles as disco music played over it, but the thing was the bongos would have to be broken afterwards in order for the cure to take its course and... broken bongo shards and nakedness always ends in... unwanted body piercings and the Von Helsons were strict when it came to.... getting into their high class... Space suits, so after they knew they were doomed they had no choice but to... sacrifice a.... perfectly made chocolate chip cookie to... dunk in a cup of... room temperatured milk and then it hit the great cookie god miraculously that she had a gallon of fresh milk at hand and... a colony of boo bees cos they made the best milk (hehe ) so they... poured the milk in 200 cups somehow and a bunch of people from all over the world could smell its sweetness because of ( )... the sweet smell shortage which made this a rare pleasure to be enjoyed only by... the gambinos ....