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 Posted: Fri Apr 24, 2009 8:36 pm
I think people who say that virgins are immature are, just like anybody else who uses any sort of insult, covering up for their own insecurity, immaturity and shame for squandering it on somebody who wasn't worth it.
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Posted: Sun Apr 26, 2009 6:07 am
Haven't posted in this thread in a while... Well, update, I suppose. When I hit eighteen, the harassment slowed down a tad as far as the whole virginity thing goes, my girlfriend of three years who I had promised myself to left me, my grandpa was given six months to live, and I've spiralled into a mild depression. Funny how things can change, huh?
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Posted: Fri Jun 05, 2009 1:56 pm
Dataphile I think people who say that virgins are immature are, just like anybody else who uses any sort of insult, covering up for their own insecurity, immaturity and shame for squandering it on somebody who wasn't worth it.  Truth.
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Posted: Fri Jun 05, 2009 1:57 pm
specterM91 Haven't posted in this thread in a while... Well, update, I suppose. When I hit eighteen, the harassment slowed down a tad as far as the whole virginity thing goes, my girlfriend of three years who I had promised myself to left me, my grandpa was given six months to live, and I've spiralled into a mild depression. Funny how things can change, huh?
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Posted: Mon Jul 06, 2009 4:23 pm
Okay, people in your case--and people do it everyday--sterotype everything into a little box.
Everything.
If you're pretty people tell you 'Oh my gosh, tell me you were a cheerleader.'
If you're tall the first thing out of people's mouths is 'You like, play basketball right?'
And on a level this is a person looking for something to talk about so they don't look stupid. When I meet someone new I immediately 'dialogue' a person, I sum them up in a look and ask questions depending on what I see.
For example:
"That's a wicked scar, mind if I ask you where you got that?' Now, for the nect hour and a half our conversation will progress like so;
their other scars -> family members who have impressive scars -> events that could give you wicked scars (for this example we'll say falling out of a tree) -> what, as children, you used to so in that tree -> the friends you made in that tree -> what type of people they hang with -> where are those friends now...
It's a progression of topics all derived from one.
Just one.
That's how a normal, healthy, and totally secure conversation should run. And while they may be a trifle revealing in some cases, they can help bond or form relationships.
Now it's the people who don't allow for topic change that are immature.
Such as talk about someone's virginity.
People just won't drop topics that should be talked about with discression.
Why? My guess is the media.
Now, in; movies, tv, books, sex is a common indulgence.
So why should people be careful while treading around it? Because it's intimate. In the Bible the only time it's said for being right is when you're bound by marriage. But the media is proclaiming it like a 60's mantra. Free love.
So why shouldn't the younger generation take part?
Because it's fickle, while pleasure lasts a moment, it's the emotional ties of a relationship that we all want.
There's an old song that comes to mind, that says all you need is love.
And it's rather true.
In the movie Castaway, Tom Hanks is devoted to the volleyball he creates while being the sole survivor on a tiny isle for a number of years.
Why?
Because on an intimate level the human body needs to feel the purest emotion of all, love. It's what people fuel on, love and the hope for love. People go their whole lives looking for it, to find it.
Other people don't realize they're looking for love, but rather use lust as a subititute to the real deal.
I have a promise ring, why?
Because true love waits. I want it all; the husband, the home, the picket fence, kids, the whole shabang.
I want to be able to come to my husband unsullied and say, I saved myself for you. Just you. You're the one and only.
You see, this scares people. They don't want to give themselves to one person. There's a world full of people out there. How do you know you love them if you don't sleep with them?
And the thing is, if you have to have sex to find out, it's not really love. Not a meeting of hearts and mind but rather flesh to flesh.
Passion and chemistry isn't necessarily love.
While in love you do have a degree of lust (you should be wildly attracted to whom you fall for), it's so much more binding.
People take this fear--of you being right all along, by not sharing your body--and sterotype you, for you made them realize that what they are doing is wrong.
Because they're jealous. They made a mistake and to them, now, there is no turning back.
So they'll ridicule you, to make themselves feel better.
I admire you.
Guys don't typically stay pure, they're out for the long haul. Fishing isn't only a term used for weeding out information, it's also a verb that means to pick out a gal and bang her. For the thrill of it.
That you have cast aside sure idle persuits for ones more worth your time is sensational really. I have no other words for it. I don't even know you and I like you a lot.
But get this. While people might call you too immature to engage in sex. People tell me I'm too mature to get involved sexually.
They call me the 'ice queen' and to them I'm a straight laced collar type of girl.
Nevermind that I'm a tad bit more introverted than others, but I have a creative streak that some people just don't like.
I don't wear revealing clothing.
I don't go booze it up at parties.
I don't do a lot of things that promiscuious girls do.
...It's just not like me.
But close-minded people won't accept you for you.
Pretty much ever.
You have a maturity that is proven by waiting.
Don't let anyone take that away from you.
As for your girlfriend and you Grandpa. I'm very sorry that yourGrandpa is having or has had struggles with his health. That's always hard, mine has wellness problems too at this point in his life.
As for the former...if she wasn't as involved (emtionally, socially, or physically) as she wanted to be and left. Be smart and let her go.
You're a jewel, don't let the events of life tarnish you.
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Posted: Mon Jul 06, 2009 5:20 pm
Nice post thar, Niomo. Well said, well said. :B
Once again, it's been quite a while since I've posted here, suppose another update's in order, eh?
My ex is a b***h, I know that now. Why I was so depressed about her leaving me, I have no idea. Talked to her again and she's just a flat out b***h. I'm over that for damn sure. My grandpa? That stubborn old a** isn't letting this get him down and I sure as ******** aren't either. XD My mom and I have actually gotten really close and my family's been hanging out together alot more. It's all good. :3
The current issue, however, is that one of my closest friends, who happens to be fourteen, likes me. And I like her. But I don't like being called a *****, so I'm a tad confused. I told her to wait until she was eighteen, but she said "What's the point?" and I really do see where she's coming from - she's about twice as mature as any twenty year old I know, so she definitely isn't changing much in those four years. But I dunno, I'm just a tad confused by the whole situation.
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Posted: Tue Jul 07, 2009 7:48 pm
I'm glad you got out of a sticky relationship and are realizing it before it got more interlocked. Isn't life weird that way?
And the family gatherings, priceless. I love my family, sometimes they're too much to handle, but a lot of the time, they're alright. :]
But for your extremely underage girl, I would say what I always said.
1. - What's meant to be will always find it's way. (I HATE this saying, but it's so true.)
2. - True love waits.
If you guys are real, if this relationship is meant to be...you really do need to wait.
Not only so friends don't call you a *****, but also because if you date her now...her family will get the wrong idea about any intentions you have towards her. (CRIMINAL RECORDS SUCK) And if it's really love, idk, I wouldn't be able to keep my hands off my intended.
XD
While she might be super mature, let her experience high school as a teen who can look back and have that extremely painful experience that's supposed to be 'the best days of your life.'
She can't do that (even with an elevated maturity level) and date....
wait.
I'm grasping at straws.
How old are you really?
If you're 20 I'ld say back off, when she's 16, a normal starting-to-look-for-serious dating age, you'll be 22. You can be charged and arrested for anything that the parents catch or she says if it gets too complicated.
If you're 19....I still say wait. 18....think hard.
17....maybe. Still consider, because if you're in still in a relationship when you turn 18 and things go downhill you'll be tried as an adult.
Pros and cons.
Weigh 'em.
Warm to 'em.
But ultimately it's your life, and totally your decision.
:]
Good luck.
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Posted: Tue Jul 07, 2009 8:20 pm
That's basically what I was thinking, Niomo. I don't want her missing out on anything. Granted, she's not exactly a social person and she doesn't go to social events like dances and such, but the fear of her missing out would always be there. I'm eighteen, by the way. =P
We talked about it, and she really does make a good point. I'm most likely moving to Virginia soon and she lives pretty far away as it is, so we'll basically be restricted to visits once or twice a year, something we're both comfortable with. But her reasoning is "It's not like we could lose control and do it in one of those 'passion of the moment' situations if we're four states away. I don't see the point of waiting to say we're dating. =P" I more or less agree, but I dunno, it still seems awkward.
And, about the family, they freaking love me. They know I wouldn't try to use her or anything. Her dad's a big nerd like me so we get along pretty well and I knew her older sister before I met her so we're pretty close. Family wouldn't be an issue, but I'd rather them not know right away if we did go out. It's all too confusing for me, I hate being in situations like these.
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Posted: Thu Jul 09, 2009 11:07 am
I just don't know, for me I would want to wait two years then have at.
I'm glad the family isn't a preoblem, it's good to have freakin' sweet relations with the family....but she's dreadfully young.
What is she? in eigth grade? Or is she a freshman?
Just wait for her to grow up a little, she's 14.
14 is a boy crazy stage. If anyone asked me out when I was 14 it would have been exciting...but now that I'm thinking about it...it wouldn't have bettered me any. I think I would regret it at that age.
Hormoneies are great when you're just growing into 'em.
I dunno', let her get used to them. (Age 16 is when people start finding themselves emotionally and physically.) If the chemistry is still there, it's still there and go for it, but I'm really not too sure.
But this is my opinion. I strongly advise you against it.
:]
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Posted: Thu Jul 09, 2009 6:05 pm
Eh. I just broke and told her it was up to her. She said she'd think on it a while.
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Posted: Mon Sep 21, 2009 3:48 pm
come on guys talk some sence if you were in his position you wouldnt just EGNORE them ok kid lission all you got to do is say im waiting and say it proud and when they say do drugs say no thanks i want to keep my good looks thank you very much and if they call you gay say yes im happy about it(gay meens happy) thats the way we do itXD lission to me i got wisdomXD
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Posted: Tue Sep 22, 2009 1:07 pm
bloodykiller12 come on guys talk some sence if you were in his position you wouldnt just EGNORE them ok kid lission all you got to do is say im waiting and say it proud and when they say do drugs say no thanks i want to keep my good looks thank you very much and if they call you gay say yes im happy about it(gay meens happy) thats the way we do itXD lission to me i got wisdomXD lol nice way of putting it razz sometimes its hard to ignore people though, i think its part of huuman nature to fit in. now instead of ignoring people i don't bother telling them im a virgin razz if they ask i tell them, but its not something id tell everyone, because people who arn't always make such a big deal outta it stressed
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Posted: Mon Mar 28, 2011 3:42 pm
Niomo ...
I want to be able to come to my husband unsullied and say, I saved myself for you. Just you. You're the one and only.
...
Niomo ...
You see, this scares people. They don't want to give themselves to one person. There's a world full of people out there. How do you know you love them if you don't sleep with them?
And the thing is, if you have to have sex to find out, it's not really love. Not a meeting of hearts and mind but rather flesh to flesh.
Passion and chemistry isn't necessarily love.
While in love you do have a degree of lust (you should be wildly attracted to whom you fall for), it's so much more binding.
...
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Posted: Tue May 03, 2011 1:56 am
Hoo, damn, is this thing still here? I was, what? sixteen or so when I posted this? My gramps was still around when I updated this last. Despite all odds, stubborn old b*****d fought it until earlier this year before passing, and I loved him for it. Man, time flies...
Anyway, no, I still haven't done it and the harassment has all but disappeared. I've been with a new girl for going on a year now, lives a few hours down the road. I convinced a friend to give me a ride to visit it for the first time last weekend and, despite pressure from my own friends and hers, we didn't go through with the whole sex deal. Not because we don't want to, but because we don't want to rush into it. I believe her logic was something along the lines of "if we can sit here and have plenty of fun cuddling and watching cartoons, I don't see any reason to rush into sex." I can't say I disagree. Things are going pretty well these days, I've gotta admit. Got some ribbing for not boinking my girl during that visit, but otherwise everything's cool. I appreciate the support I got from you guys all those years ago.
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Posted: Fri Jul 15, 2011 3:21 am
specterM91 Ok, every time someone at school finds out I'm a virgin they always tell me to grow up. Even my mom tells me to grow up and have sex. eek It really gets on my nerves, I've told people time and time again that I'm waiting until marriage, then they go ballistic on me for trying to lose my virginity as soon as possible. rolleyes Why do some people associate being a virgin with being immature? I mean, I'm far from mature and I'll admit that but that's just my personality, it has nothing to do with being a virgin. The weirdest thing is that pretty much all the people at school who say that kind of stuff to me are even more immature than I am...plus they're sluts. Sorry, that sounds mean but it's pretty much true with most of them. sweatdrop For example, no matter where I sit in my sixth period geometry class I get made fun of and called immature. If I sit near one group of people I'm immature because I don't do drugs, sit in another and I'm immature because I don't believe in sex before marriage, another and it's because I like Nintendo, that one doesn't even make sense. scream And today in second period my friend and I were bitched out by a football player for wanting to wait until marriage. "You're missing out on a wonderful thing." That's what he kept saying. Then I said "yeah, you'll think that when you know some random girl up" he punched me in the gut and told me to stop acting like a kid. To be honest I don't really mind being called immature, it's true, I am. But to be called that by someone who lost their virginity at 11 or smoked pot at 13...it's just weird. I don't get it, I'm 16, can't I act like a child a bit longer? stare Summary: Why do some people call virgins immature? Has it ever happened to you? Does it make you mad. Discuss. 3nodding Omg you ROCK !!!!! I've had few troubles online for being a virgin. But I'm waiting till marriage Damn all whores and Sluts, What is wrong with them !? The Virginity is You Innocence if you lost it before the RIGHT Time (Marriage not when you find the right guy/girl What the heck !?) Then you lost your innocence except if you lost it by force and you tried to get out of it as much as you could, But ... It makes me sad when I know someone had sex before marriage that's wrong, Even if it feels good, How many wrong things that feels good when you do it !? MOST OF THE WRONG STUFF MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD !! But why... They say love, They say Fun, They say I can't live without it, Get your Self a freaking Husband or Wife! How many girls committed suicide because they got cheated on !? How many girls got dumped after having sex for their first time !? How many girls gave up on love and life and became a filthy whore !? The same thing with guys, This SUCKS !!!!!
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