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Nanako's ears perk at the chime of Gwynne's own voice, and the sorrow that flows within. Listening to Darz's reply, she catches the meaning of sister from his words.

So... the maiden was your sister. Seems we've all lost a sister... or several amoung us three. Nanako pushed back the feelings which threatened to over-run her. She had lost her mother, and three of her sisters. She never knew why, but upon meeting with the group, she begins to realize that they had perhaps burned themselves out, as she herself might have, and may still do. Try as she might, a shadow of mourning still remains behind.

Using the title Gwynne continues to use for Darz, it somehow felt right on her tongue, although not nearly as flawless as either she nor Darz would have articulated it. "Da'es shan. You must unfortunately give it time. At any rate, you've appeared to make progress on this day. Perhaps this is as far as you are meant to go for now, as frustrating as it may be. Although a part of you, the weight of your memories may simply be too much for even you right now." Her voice was still thick with the reminder of all she had lost... and the unfortunate memories she had gained.

In a voice so small neither of her companions could clearly hear, she simply said what was still on her mind. "I pray to the Light that your memories may be more tolerable then mine were warrier."

Darz's words, "Dar mia...," struck a discordant twang in Gwynne's mind. They were the very same words, though spoken very differently, that she had herself used once. But the Old Tongue had a strange way of making things more real, and not even Gwynne's depression-soaked mind could tolerate the sheer clarity that the language brought to Chalinda's death. Not all her darkest imaginings and vivid images evoked quite the sense of utter despair and horror that two words in the Old Tongue could when used in the proper context. She stared for a moment at Darz's cuendillar blade, wondering how heartstone had been polished to such utterly perfect reflection. It must have been wrought with both halves of the Power... Her eyes slowly came to rest on Nanako. Her friend was speaking, but Gwynne heard nothing. All she saw was pain in Nanako's eyes. The same pain. She lost a sister too?

That was the first phrase uttered in the old tongue Nanako could fully understand. To it, she mustered little more then a nod. Although she fully noted Darz's attempt to relieve them of the dark shadow that had befallen the three, she simply could not shake it so easily. The topic had turned sour in her mind, reminding her all too well of everything she had lost.

His other words held little meaning to her, though she found it odd that one such as Tarma could barely weild his weapon. Turning back to them both, she tried to replace the mask she wore in daily life, the smile never reaching her eyes unless it fully fell into place, or she had truly managed to push everything aside.

She could finally see recognition on Gwynne's face. So, you finally realize what I was trying to tell you on the ship. You're not the only one with loss I'm afraid old friend. At least there's comfort in knowing I'm not alone, especially amoung this group it seems.

Gwynne stared at her friend, seeing only reflected pain in her eyes. The light of saidar shone as brightly as a full moon in her senses, and she reached out to it, making no effort to hide herself. She wove strands of Air and Fire and Water together into colors and shapes, straining to make them coalesce. She reached into her memory of Nikoru's weaving of the gateway, seeing how the Aes Sedai had manipulated the strands so much more deftly than Gwynne had ever attempted, and tried to be as gentle and dextrous. She didn't fight saidar... the Kin told me that, but it didn't seem to make sense... could they have meant it was always important? But Gwynne could not relax her grip on the Power; the desperate struggle to hold to a river eternally determined to slip through her fingers was too familiar. The weaves slowly condensed into coherent shapes. For just a moment, Nanako seemed to be holding, instead of reins, a pair of thornless black roses. The message of death burned in the blackness of the petals, despair and sorrow wilting the green stems to brown. Then, with a sudden tiny burst of light, they vanished, and Gwynne swayed in her saddle as the weaves rebounded back upon her. Desperately, she shoved saidar away, an instant before it might have overwhelmed her. Ashamed of her lack of skill, so recently made clear to her, Gwynne turned away from her friend and the mysterious Darz and spurred her horse forward, passing the Aes Sedai and Markus and finally slowing back to her former pace only when she was a full five lengths ahead of everyone. I always run...

Gwynne stared at Selene blankly for a long moment, the Aes Sedai's words unheard. Eventually, however, her mind caught up to her ears. Two weeks... they think that's a pennance? She tried to laugh silently, but the truth was that the Source was addictive to any channeler. The Kin had warned her against falling prey to it. And I barely listened... Gwynne tried to collect her thoughts, and managed to say, "I will do as you have said, Aes Sedai." She could not keep a small touch of irony at the title out of her voice. She reached for saidar.

The flowing river that was the female half of the One Power beckoned to the wilder, and then seemed to laugh and flutter away. Frustrated, she grabbed at it again, and again, but it slipped through her fingers as if it were nothing but air. It hung there, just outside Gwynne's reach, responsive to her only in despair, never anger. In desperation, she ceased all struggling and tried to heed Selene Sedai's words about surrender. The Source grew closer and closer as she did, but her wild snatch at it met only mocking nothingness.

Gwynne snarled aloud with frustration. Here was a chance to learn, and the Source eluded her! "I can not reach the Power, Aes Sedai," she admitted, hurling the words as if sheer force would bring saidar closer. Of course, force was the one thing that would push it even further away. She made one more attempt, forcing herself to feel depression instead of anger, and managed to grip the Source long enough to form a single thread of Fire, barely visible even to Selene's trained eyes, before it slipped away again.

Gwynne looked at Selene warily, the Aes Sedai's new tone a surprise to her. "If you wish, I will try it, Aes Sedai." But no matter what you say, she added in her thoughts, I will not think of myself in novice white...

Gwynne did her best to follow Selene's instructions. The rose was black. As she tried to visualize the bud opening in the sunlight, the green leaves wilted and turned brown, much as they had in the illusory roses she had shown Nanako. However, this time she wasn't doing it on purpose. saidar floated high in the sky, a source of sunlight that she couldn't feel. When the bud finished blooming, the petals fell away. In a halting voice, Gwynne described this for the Aes Sedai. I associate channeling with those feelings... if I try to do it her way, it comes out in the images and I can't do it...