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The Sturgeon's name is Penelope. She's pretty with these blue eyes like sapphires, like the color the ocean's supposed ter be. But nothin' really is that blue or pretty but those eyes of her's... I wanna steal them so I can put them in my collection.

Surgery's great! I getta lay on a bed and drink lots o' rum while she like sets the bones and sews me back together. Like a ragdoll.. Tee hee, like a ragdoll that's got torn up and all the sawdust spills out like blood and guts and all those insides... I once found a dog that got its innards turned to outtards. I was rifling through the intestines before the cops came.

It tickled though, and felt like hot and cold and switched back and forth. Sometimes it feels like there's a cat brushing across the places she sews. Is that normal? I always thought Surgery was supposed to be all painful.

Maybe those people that I talked too are crazy in the head. Maybe they're loonier than loony and nuttier than the captain. I think they are, overall the surgery was damned pleasant, and I made new friends!

God’s not done nothing for me. The priesties, they all say, “God will help us!” And when He doesn’t, they say, “Oh, He helped in this-and-this way, preventing this-and-this-that-didn’t-happen from happening, we should be thankful..” or more often, “He is testing us.”

Which is a short way of saying that “He doesn’t give a crap.”

I think that the Humanists from the Renaissance were right- God is a clockmaker, and the clockmaker makes the clock, sells it, and leaves the clock to run on its own. After that, he’s too busy making more clocks to check on his old ones, taking out rusting parts and making sure it’s top shape. If there is a God, then that’s true. I think that’s mighty damn irresponsible of him! He ain’t jist gonna leave us- right? Naw, I think that if we were one of God’s clocks, he’s already forgotten about us. So what’s the use to praying and all this stuff if there ain’t anyone to see it?

And how can this God blame us damned people for prostitution when He gave us women pretty bodies but nowhere else to turn to when the kiddos cry from hunger? How can He damn the thief when He gave the person no other choice? That’s like starving a dog and punishing it when it tries to eat its own limbs.

Whoever this God is, he ain’t fair at all. If He ain’t want us to sin, then why does He make it the only way to live?

Ah heard rumors of the Cap'n leavin', ya know. Ah'm real surprised- and disappointed. Ah haven't even gotten to dissect him yet, that's a real damn pity!

Anyways, Ah wonder who'll be takin' up the new Cap'n-ie-ness? Ah hope eet's someone sane for once. Someone like me. Someone who likes weevils in their bread and parrots stir-fried in Indian curry.

Indian curry's real damn hot. Real good. Like Indian Curry a lot, so spicy. Ah like it in coconut milk even.

Ah bin hearin' of a French lady that's been showing interest in the position. Ah dunno wot really motivated the current Cap'n to leave, but whatever eet ees, Ah'm sure he's got his own goddamn reasons.

God's funny like that. Either he's not up there anymore or he's got too much ale down his liver.