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Dangerous Conversationalist
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 Posted: Sat Nov 04, 2006 1:55 am
Megumi turns his head then, and chuckles..shaking it.
"No, sensei..I can't seem to really..grasp the idea of what kind of weakness I have. Oh, I know I have little weaknesses and faults..but..nothing on the level you were speaking of. I know it is there..it has to be. But when I consciously think about what it might be, my mind draws a total blank. I tried thinking about my family..my title..all of that..even my own personal fears or dreams..but..I just can't seem to reach out and grasp what it is that my limit is..what the one thing that will stop me would be..it's like..there's a screen keeping me from seeing what my roadblock is."
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Posted: Sat Nov 04, 2006 2:08 am
Placing the little box inside his yukata, the young shinigami looks back at the boy and speaks. "Give it time, we all have our own weakness and finding them is a path harder than just fighting or thinking. I have a question thought, what makes you act all...well...like a female ?" His eyebrow rises as he ask this, he had to admit it this person was the weirdest thing he ever saw, even for a person that survived endless nights in Hueco mundo. Crossing his arms in front of his chest he takes a moment to say: "I'm not your sensei, at most I'm just a facilitator, I'm just one more peasant that became a shinigami for food, searching for an ideal to believe in and looking for the power to give life to my own ambitions...so just call me Shinrei."
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Dangerous Conversationalist
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Posted: Sat Nov 04, 2006 2:19 am
"Well, it was more a term of respect..it's obvious that you're a superior, so I was just addressing you in kind, to be polite..but I thank you, Shinrei. I am Megumi, of Aoibara..and I dress like a female and act like one because..well.."
He shakes his head, and sits down on the wooden walkways, staring up into the sky..his look distant as he speaks.
"My mother. She's a wonderful woman. She is the kindest, sweetest woman I have ever known. Several centuries ago, she was assaulted by a..man. Where, exactly, I do not know. Still. I was the result of this attack. By all rights, being illegitimate, and on top of it, a child concieved in force, She had no obligation to acknowledge me, let alone raise me. But she did. Still, there are times I had blackouts, and loss of memory."
He takes a breath..his tone changing, from the soft, giggly female voice, to an actual male tone..not too deep; his voice is still soft, even in its normal sounding tone. But it's very easily recognizable as male once he starts speaking again.
"During those blackouts, or rather, after them..I would wake up, and the look in her eyes..she was terrified. I reminded her of my father, I suppose. I think during those blackouts, maybe I did or said something..something to scare her. I knew that since the origin of her attack had been male, and violent, I strove to be as peaceful as I could be. For her. The men of our family have always been beautiful. But I..I didn't want her to be afraid of me. So I decided to make myself into her daughter, instead of her son. I became a woman, to make her feel safe. Because she was the only person that truly cared for me right away. My uncle isnt' fond of me..my brother..he cares for me, but resents that I have more potential than he does, though he doesn't show it. My sister..well. We get along."
Again, he sighs..his arm coming down, hand connecting hard with the wooden walkway..
"I can't help but think that I'm a constant reminder of the suffering I put my mother through. So I became not the son she was forced to have, but a daughter she would love to have. I strove to be something other than what I was to show the woman who gave me a chance I wasn't even owed, that I was in her debt in ways that could never be repaid. Megumi is a woman's name..it's the name she gave me though..I don't resent it. In fact, I wish I had been born a woman..then there would be no fear of me in her eyes..nothing to remind her of the figure of my father. It's stupid, I know.."
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Posted: Sat Nov 04, 2006 2:33 am
Shinrei listens to his tragedy as well as the relationship he holds with his family. He didn't had the right to give an opinion but he was forced to do so as a mentor and as a fellow shinigami. "I see, it seems like we just found your weakness, your need for acceptance and how far you take your own desire to become what someone else wants you to be is limiting you from obtaining your real potential, instead of worrying about what kind of genitals your mom wanted you to have...why don't you worry more about shining into her eyes as what you are, changing this dark, cruel world of us so no other woman have to go through what she went through ?"
Rising his tone a little and looking straight into his eyes the young shinigami continues with his long speech of moral values and changing one self.
"Ya know, your mom loves you, no matter what kind of sex you have as long as you behave like a rightful man she will love you and be proud of you, as for the rest of your family, why don't you try reaching the greatest heights while you push them into doing the same ? Potential ? No one is born a genius, hard work, determination, living truth to your heart that is the path that leads to the top, names, status, born place, part, present future, nothing matter as long as you are truthful to yourself Megumi-san"
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Dangerous Conversationalist
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Posted: Sat Nov 04, 2006 2:48 am
"Truthful...to myself. I never thought of it that way. You know, being noble..it's a brutal battle every day. It isn't fought with swords. It's fought with sharp tongues, honeyed words, and glib insults..subtle compliments and petty jealousies. Some people think we have it easy..but the things we have to memorize, and remember, and do, and act on..sometimes I wish I had more freedom. I'm thankful for what I have. I don't want to seem like a brat. But..there are days I wish I could just..be remembered for being Megumi, and not for being just another heir to my family's leagcy. It's a lot to ask. I have a duty to uphold, and I know it. I'm torn between that duty and what I want."
He lays back, looking up at the stars..he looks sad..it's obvious that talking about his family isn't really a pleasant thing for him..at least in this regard.
"My mother is the only person that just accepted me without any conditions. She didn't force me to be this way..but after I changed, she seemed to be much more comfortable with me. I know she didn't make me do it. It was my choice..but..my uncle, he isn't fond of me. He hates what I represent, and I can't blame him for it. The Elders don't like me either. I'm a break in tradition..a nameless b*****d, my mother's errant child, created by a mistake..I guess in reality, I hate myself so much for being what I am, changing into something I wasn't was easier for me than facing myself. I don't even know who I am some days. Some days I don't even want to know.."
Idly, he brushes his fingers over the sword at his side..looking down at it..
"I wish I knew what to do. I'm afraid that..I'll disappoint someone close to me someday..because I won't be strong enough..because deep down, I shouldn't even have been born..just being alive I cause my family trouble. When I passed the entrance exams to get in, I figured this would be my big shot to prove to all of them that I could bring honor to the family..isn't it stupid? I'm not even really here for myself..yet I am. I want to prove I'm not a mistake..and at the same time uphold the honor of my family, whether I'm pure born or not.."
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Posted: Sat Nov 04, 2006 2:58 am
Yet again the mentor listens to the student, his family pride was indeed a snake that entangled him , suffocated him and in time was going to kill him with it's poison. Taking a second to think the right words he shakes his head and walks to the door. "Hey you get back on your feet, we are going for a walk, I will show you something, well more like give you a test that I did to myself when I found myself fighting with myself." With those words he walks out of the room and start walking to the outside of the dorms building.
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Dangerous Conversationalist
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Posted: Sat Nov 04, 2006 3:11 am
That makes him raise a brow..but he hops up and nods..stretching a bit, and popping his neck to either side.
"Alright. I'll follow then..it's better than sitting around brooding about things all night, that's certain. Still..I guess in a way, it' s necessary to think and brood, or else you won't find anything out.."
And he falls in step..still thinking..
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Posted: Sat Nov 04, 2006 9:31 pm
Shinrei was on his dorm unpacking his stuff. He has just moved in and was still a little lost. someone from the high ups told him he was going to share the room with someone else wich made him even more uneasy as he was the kind of person that enjoyed solitude over all else. His eyes slowly move to meet his zamapakutou on the side of the bed. Nothing was special about it, it was another sealed sword. A smile formed on his face as he thought of what kind of power this soul coul have and all the things that were going to change from this day on, the day he took the forst step into the world of the shinigamis.
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Posted: Sat Nov 04, 2006 9:40 pm
Tsuzume was on the edge, her new surroundings offering her only discomfort and uncertainty. This place was unfamiliar and she did not know for certain where she was to be going. Well, at least she had managed to find the dorms. However, unlike Shinrei, Tsuzume had not been informed that she would be having a roommate, she walked into the room and stared at him skeptically with her grayish-green eyes.
"I'm," she said with no lack of confidence, sounding absolutely sure of herself, "pretty sure that you are in the wrong room there bud. This is my room, see?" She held up her scroll that stated which room she was to be residing in. Tsuzume did not like it when others were in her room and she wanted this stanger out as she too valued her solitude. "Door's there in case you forgot." She pointed to the door, waiting for him to leave.
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Posted: Sat Nov 04, 2006 9:52 pm
Shinrei looks at her with no interest on his face and then continues taking all the cloths and other stuff out placing them on the closet. After he was done he walks to her and looks at her eyes, his emerald green eyes scan her slowly from head to toe before he says:
"Just so you know, dorms are made so two people sleep in them, we are academy students we have no special privileges, so just so you know...this is not your room, is our room..."
Returning to his side of the room he takes sit on his bed and then says:
"You should educate yourself better before you try to act all rash on others"
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Posted: Sat Nov 04, 2006 10:06 pm
"Pffft. As if I care what you call my room." She wanted this guy outta her room which apparently was not only her room, but their room as the male student had to emphasize for her. The entire time that Shineri is unpacking, Tsuzune is standing five feet away from the door, observing him warily with her greenish-gray eyes. "Forgive me for my ignorance," she stated dryly, not really apologizing but sounding rather stuck-up, "I haven't heard of a dorm until now. Whatever. I ain't sharing my room, you can have it."
She was not sharing a room with anyone, no one had told her that there was going to be some random person slapped into her room. And since he had been there first, she gave him the benefit of being there first. However, just because she had been assigned to this room did not mean that she had to sleep or stay in it.
The seemingly stuck-up student proceeded to unpack her belongings which were few. They had all been arranged in some sort of order. Shirts in one section, pants another, socks one, undergarments another. Everything had it's specific place and she unpacked all of her things and put them in a drawer. Each level of the drawer arranged so that her pants were in one, her shirts were in another, her sock and undergarments were together but they were on separate sides of the drawer, and her uniform would have it's own drawer along with her cheap kimono which was worthless to most.
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Posted: Sat Nov 04, 2006 10:13 pm
(Simi *waves like an idiot* Kenk you can delete this, I jsut wanted to say hi to Simi who never talks to me anymore...}
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Posted: Sat Nov 04, 2006 10:20 pm
"Hump...I will be straight to the facts with you, this room is ours, however I do like people who believe they are above me, they make me sick...so is for that reason that I will tell you this !"
Standing up from the bed he walks to her and smiles softly. His face showed sorrow and pain like no other as well as a serious look that froze the heart of whoever looked into his eyes.
"Soul Society is a military organization, meaning we have no tolerance for girly problems, your attitude towards me will only lead you too your dead since we are a team. I die you die, and believe me I swear by the holder of all souls that I don't want to die ! So from now on behave or just pack your belongings and leave !"
Rising his hand forward he holds it there for a hand shake.
"With that clear, I guess is time to introduce myself ! The name is Mayoigo Shinrei, nice to meet you !"
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Posted: Sat Nov 04, 2006 10:35 pm
"Good," she said, referring to his first comment, "I am glad you hate people who think they are above you because I am the same damned way." She did not like him smiling at her the way he was, it somehow pissed her off and made her want to wipe it right off of his face. However, she could not miss the pain in his eyes, the same pain that her eyes had. Yet her eyes had more, they had rage and coldness, they were skeptical and cynical, untrusting of everyone.
"Well," she said, her arms folded, her skeptical expression slowly altering to a scowl, "speak of the devil. Do we practice what we preach very often?" She did not bother to explain her reason for that comment and glared at him when he said she had girly problems. "I ain't leaving, I don't have any flipping girl problems! I just like a room to myself and did you just say we were partners?!"
When he raised his hand to shake hers, she stepped back, out of range of his hand. Physical contact was an alien concept to her and it frightened her to say the least. "Don't," she said, instinctively putting her hand on her zanpakutou, "you dare touch me."
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Posted: Sat Nov 04, 2006 10:43 pm
"I'm not touching you...I was rising my hand to greet you...you see both hands touch and we have a hand shake then you tell me your name and I say Honored to meet you or something around those lines...don't you know anything about hypocrisy ?"
He asked lowering his hand and walking back to his bed. Taking his zampakutou his hands he rises it to his eye level and reminds silent for a few moments. At this moment his green eyes show a mysterious glow as thoughts run through his head.
"Soon...with these hands and this zampakutou I shall get my revenge for you mom and for you too father...I hope someday we reunite in the next life but for now please watch over me and the things I am about to do !"
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