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 Posted: Sun May 15, 2005 9:33 am
I thought you were! I thought you were two-timing me you biatch crying
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Posted: Sun May 15, 2005 9:39 am
Death by yoghurt.
Ingredients
arrow Yoghurt. Lots of it. Cheap and nasty tasting. Tesco value.
Equipment
arrow Someone you utterly hate.
arrow Yourself.
Method
arrow Pour lots of yoghurt into hated person's mouth and nose.
arrow Hold their throat so they can't swallow.
arrow Wait for them to pass out, tip more yoghurt into their mouth and up their nose.
arrow Wait for them to die.
arrow Follow previous steps with the rest of the ******** human race until at long last we all ******** die.
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Posted: Sun May 15, 2005 9:55 am
Gaulia Death by yoghurt.
Ingredients
arrow Yoghurt. Lots of it. Cheap and nasty tasting. Tesco value.
Equipment
arrow Someone you utterly hate.
arrow Yourself.
Method
arrow Pour lots of yoghurt into hated person's mouth and nose.
arrow Hold their throat so they can't swallow.
arrow Wait for them to pass out, tip more yoghurt into their mouth and up their nose.
arrow Wait for them to die.
arrow Follow previous steps with the rest of the ******** human race until at long last we all ******** die.
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Posted: Sun May 15, 2005 9:56 am
Nebelstern Gaulia Death by yoghurt.
Ingredients
arrow Yoghurt. Lots of it. Cheap and nasty tasting. Tesco value.
Equipment
arrow Someone you utterly hate.
arrow Yourself.
Method
arrow Pour lots of yoghurt into hated person's mouth and nose.
arrow Hold their throat so they can't swallow.
arrow Wait for them to pass out, tip more yoghurt into their mouth and up their nose.
arrow Wait for them to die.
arrow Follow previous steps with the rest of the ******** human race until at long last we all ******** die. It's what generally happens after a failed attempt of Yoghurt Decadence.
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Posted: Sun May 15, 2005 10:06 am
'Yoghurty Rejuvenation'
Ingredients
arrow Tesco finest range (going up-market now) Valencia Orange yoghurt
Equipment
arrow You
arrow Yoghurt-bloated corpse - failing this, a seemingly willing participant
arrow A bath
arrow A druid (or perhaps vicar, whichever you prefer)
arrow Life support machine
Method
1) Lay yoghurt bloated corpse into bath.
2) Use tesco finest yoghurt to fill the bath and life support machine.
3) Tell the druid to moan and do some voodoo chanting. Tell the vicar to do likewise.
4) Stuff the needles of the life support machine into the now-stiffening corpse veins.
5) Start the machine and hope the yoghurt and chanting somehow create a sort of yoghurt-zombie.
6) Take over the local area and region using yoghurt-zombie as accomplice.
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Posted: Sun May 15, 2005 10:11 am
Nebelstern Tesco finest range (going up-market now) You call Tesco up-market?! I wouldn't feed their shitty products to my cat! gonk scream
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Posted: Sun May 15, 2005 10:18 am
dreaming_mouse Nebelstern Tesco finest range (going up-market now) You call Tesco up-market?! I wouldn't feed their shitty products to my cat! gonk scream
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Posted: Sun May 15, 2005 10:21 am
Yoghurt Regime
Ingredients
arrow A whole LOT of Tesco Finest yoghurt.
arrow Blood.
arrow Sweat.
arrow Tears.
Equipment
arrow You.
arrow A few million yoghurt bloated corpses.
arrow One huge ******** bath.
arrow A couple of druids / vicars.
arrow A large, complex life support machine with a lot of wires.
arrow Some shotguns.
arrow Perhaps some gas chambers.
arrow A hundred pre-made yoghurt zombies.
Method -
arrow Follow steps 1 - 5 of 'Yoghurty Rejuvenation' on a mass scale.
arrow Arm a few pre-made yoghurt zombies with shotguns, to shoot the unruley zombies.
arrow Threaten the political power with your huge yoghurt zombie army.
arrow Gas anyone who resists.
arrow Make everyone eat yoghurt on punishment of death.
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Posted: Sun May 15, 2005 10:36 am
'Yoghurts at Dawn'
Ingredients
arrow A couple of Frubes
Equipment
arrow A cowboy/cowgirl (not to be sexist) outfit
arrow A fake Texan accent
arrow Some scissors - because those Frubes can be soooo annoying to open on occasion
arrow A field. Preferrably at dawn. Preferrably in Texas. Preferrably complete with tumbleweed.
Method
1) Take three paces and turn around.
2) Fire!!
3) Wipe away yoghurt to reveal massacre...
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Posted: Sun May 15, 2005 10:42 am
I'm ******** loving this thread. xd I'll post one later when I can be bothered.
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Posted: Sun May 15, 2005 11:36 am
Hot yoghurt
What you need:
An empty hot tub
Lots of yoghurt (YeoValley organic for a totally organic experiance)
Somewhere snowy
A fire (If you want to be a wimp you could just use an electric hot tub)
Birch branches
Some willing friends
Method:
Fill the hot tub with yoghurt and heat it
Get in
Relax and admire the snowy scenery
Get out and run around hitting your friends with birch branches.
Or you could lick it off.
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Posted: Sun May 15, 2005 11:47 am
ice_illusion Get out and run around hitting your friends with birch branches. Or you could lick it off.
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Posted: Sun May 15, 2005 12:23 pm
Nebelstern ice_illusion Get out and run around hitting your friends with birch branches. Or you could lick it off.Well you cant swim once you get out.
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Posted: Mon May 16, 2005 2:32 pm
Eww.....then it'd be all rotten and stuff. Wonderful.
Wonderful. Rotten yoghurt. And then you can lick it off!
I'll post one when I have some time. I have to write my speech now.
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Posted: Mon May 16, 2005 2:41 pm
Hmm.. Does yoghurt go mouldy, 'off', or rot? Or all three?!
mmmm... Furry, rotting, sour yoghurt.. lovely..
O: Have fun.
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