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 Posted: Sat Oct 02, 2004 6:34 pm
Xiao whipped around, only to see Xanta. The are had been so quiet a short time ago, Xiao had lost herself in her thoughts. "What am I thinking about..?" Xiao frowned.
The only things running through her head were memories of previous ventures, all crisp and clear in her mind. Oh, how she hated that time with Alan and the crew.. She didn't want to ever see them again, even though she knew it would eventually become necessary.
The b*****d needed to die... and Xiao was determined to actually follow through with the kill this time.
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Posted: Sat Oct 02, 2004 6:44 pm
((If you sent me a PM, it didn't work. It says I have a new message, but then when I go there, there is nothing.))
Xanta's smile simply grew more sweet. He really is an attractive man, if you don't know him. When you do...ruthless, cunning, heartless, and cruel are the only words that can describe him.
As the waves of negative emotion rolling Xiao increase in magnitude, his eyes glint with anticipation.
If only you could harness all the energy rolling off you, you could perhaps be worth something to this Order. As it is, you can not even answer the question of a Master.
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Posted: Sat Oct 02, 2004 6:49 pm
((O-key, that's either my ISP being dumb or Gaia glitching. It only said I was back, so it's not like you missed anything.))
Xiao gave him a muted glare. Xanta's statement dripped in Xiao's mind, and she decided it was nothing more than expectation hidden in insult. "Perhaps... but I still have time in my life to figure out how to."
Xiao had spent a great deal of her time here meditating... she knew the proper procedure for doing so. After all, she had passed the rank of Padawan learner to Knight, but Xiao knew that the learning process wouldn't stop for some time.
She hated that thought.
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Posted: Sat Oct 02, 2004 7:09 pm
Xanta openly grinned as her emotions spiked again shortly after he spoke. He walked over closer to her.
Do you believe it is something you can do alone? That you need no teacher to find such...utter ruthlessness within yourself? Few have such devotion. What makes you think you are one of them?
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Posted: Sat Oct 02, 2004 7:17 pm
Xiao frowned. As much as she knew Xanta was correct, the thought of such devotion mader her quiver.
But it was necessary. She wanted desperatley to become stronger and bash out the epiphany of her problems, but, as Xanta himself had said, she lacked the stamina.
But it was her her pride that kept her from asking for instruction.
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Posted: Sat Oct 02, 2004 7:24 pm
Xanta began slowly circling Xiao, hands behind his back, his voice just on the edge of condescending, but soft in volume, as though telling a secret.
You know, not all emotions bring excellence to Force use. Do you know what has brought down Dark Jedi in the past, and the main downfall of most Light Jedi? Pride. In their pride, they believed that they were infallible, that their principles could not be broken by subversion and deception.
Hatred is a powerful emotion, and important in many of the techniques used by advanced Dark Jedi. Passion is also important. Dark Jedi are often incapable of love, simply because such a feeling is inherently weak and brings weakness into the person, but passion is completely different.
I can feel the hatred positively pouring out of you, Knight. Hatred for me, hatred for your past, those I understand. But it also seems that you have a hatred for learning. Perhaps I am wrong - I am not infallible when it comes to these sensings. However, if you do truly hate learning, then you are a waste of flesh. No one being should hate learning - to do so is to deny existence, and to wish death. Do you wish death? I could grant that wish right now, and none would know any different.
At this point, Xanta is facing Xiao, his face right in hers, hands clenched behind his back. His black eyes glint with malice and utter hatred, not for Xiao, but for all who would do less than give everything for more knowledge.
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Posted: Sat Oct 02, 2004 7:27 pm
From Xiao's perspective, Xanta looked like a bird of prey, ready to clamp down on its latest meal. She frowned, knowing exactly what Xanta was getting at.
Xiao felt heat rise to her face at the prospect of Xanta’s face two inches away from hers. She frowned, wondering if she really did hate learning so much. It was an interesting thought. Xiao didn’t like bookwork, perhaps, but when she really broke down the prospect, she realized that she had succumbed to it more than once.
She sighed in half-empty defeat.
"Then teach me... master."
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Posted: Sat Oct 02, 2004 9:49 pm
Xanta stood up straight and laughed heartily.
Not much of a lust for learning, but a start, certainly. Why, I'd be honored to teach such an eager student as you, thank you for asking. Or commanding, as the case may be.
Tell me...what makes you most angry?
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Posted: Sat Oct 02, 2004 9:53 pm
Xiao frowned. What made her most angry..? It was a question she'd never actually thought about before, and she paused before replying.
"I..." her face distorted for a moment. There were many things that irritated her, but one that really got her going... "Young children, spatty attitudes, and politicians."
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Posted: Sat Oct 02, 2004 9:55 pm
Xanta laughed again, his eyes twinkling with a sick pleasure.
All of which I have killed or killed for, in the case of the attitudes. Merciless killing, for the smallest thing, or for whatever your purpose no matter the possible consequences. You must always strive for your purpose. Do you have a purpose, Xiao?
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Posted: Sat Oct 02, 2004 9:57 pm
Xiao's answer was almost mechanical. "I have goals. As for a purpose, I haven't found much of one yet." She frowned. "I've been looking for a reason to like myself for a very long time."
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Posted: Sat Oct 02, 2004 10:04 pm
Goals, purposes, they are much the same, though they are often separated. Tell me, do your goals not eventually lead to an ultimate goal, perhaps one that is much more long term than the others? It is this long term goal that is your purpose.
As for liking yourself, you must identify with yourself. Only when you recognize your failings and learn to work around them will you be able to harness the true power within you. The emotions within, the raw power and talent with the Force, is being masked and hidden by the fact that you can not come to grips with who and what you are!
So, tell me, Osaka Xiaoxing, who and what are you? And if your answer is not satisfactory, we shall have a lesson.
Xanta backs up and folds his hands in his robes, his black eyes narrowing and staring fiercely at Xiao.
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Posted: Sat Oct 02, 2004 10:08 pm
Xiao's lips mangled into a snarl. "I am Xiaoxing, Dark Jedi Knight," she said. "As for my purpose... the resurrection of the fear of the Sith.."
Xiao couldn't bring herself to meet her master's harsh gaze. Just having him within ten feet of her brough chills down her spine.
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Posted: Sat Oct 02, 2004 10:22 pm
Xanta snarls.
The Sith were a prideful race whose pride was their ultimate demise. Tell me, why would you have them so feared? Humbleness is not a virtue of the most powerful Dark Jedi, but to have it such that it overwhelms your being - that is weakness. As with any other emotion, it must be used properly in order to be harnessed. Confidence is not pride, nor is pride confidence. They are different.
Yet...you are filled with pride.
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Posted: Sat Oct 02, 2004 10:26 pm
"I would have them feared," Xiao said slowly, "Because they were strong." She continued, "And by 'Sith' I generalize... I also refer to the position of Dark Lord of the Sith, not just the extinct species."
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