|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Sat Jan 31, 2015 5:35 pm
Outgrowing someone seemed so terrible and sad. Had he outgrown them? Or was what Rep said about taking on the pain of others what caused Otto to become so tired and sad. Was it his life, his scars or his disease? Or was it the girls?
He felt like he was seeing a much more honest side of Rep. One that wasn't forcing a skewed viewpoint and twisted morals. Actual real pain and experience instead. He took the man seriously, letting the words sink in.
His expression froze a bit as Rep assumed the gay thing wasn't his thing. Truth be told it never used to be, and in some parts it still wasn't. But how could he really know anymore. He thought he'd known himself fairly well, until New Years ended.
He wasn't able to stifle the small laugh as Rep exclaimed in an exaggerated slew of words about dates and kissing, hiding his smile as he turned away from the man's silly outburst. The tension broke for a little while then. Just for a little while.
"Maybe I just need to be alone for a while. Get my priorities sorted. Figure myself out again. I'd hate to think I been using them just to stave off bein' lonely." And hiding behind the guise of what a relationship was supposed to mean. Had he loved the girls, or had he loved being loved? Or did he love because that's what was to be expected of someone who had intimacy with another?
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jan 31, 2015 5:45 pm
"I doubt you were using them. Probably at the start you thought it was right. But you owe it to people to tell them when it's wrong. And what's wrong." He shrugged. "You have to make a few mistakes. Mistakes are allowed as long as you realise they are mistakes and learn from them."
He shrugged again. "Does sound to me though that you need some you time. It also sounds like you keep making people you'd rather have as friends into bedmates instead. Then when they are like right relationship you need to hand over ALL OF YOU. You don't want to do it. You want to keep part of you for yourself. Then you resent them for wanting it."
Sighing he added. "Least that was what happened to me too."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jan 31, 2015 5:53 pm
Otto felt there was so much merit in what Rep was saying. As if he was finally hearing what was beneath the murk of his mind and heart. He wanted to keep some of himself and his life to himself. Turning friends into girlfriends, simply because they were girls. It happened almost every time a girl got close enough.
But what rang clear most was alone time. He truly needed time alone again. At least for a while. A vacation from his current life, without hiding behind work.
"Thanks.. for what you said. You cleared things up a bit."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jan 31, 2015 6:05 pm
"Nae bother. I wisnae daein anything anyway." he said, reaching out to press a button on the laptop and bring it back to life. "I don't appreciate the lack of sexy pudding eating though. Ungrateful b*****d."
But he was smirking anyway.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jan 31, 2015 6:09 pm
Otto managed a smirk in Rep's direction. "You don't get sexy puddin' eatin' unless it's comin' from your husband." He remarked, moving to leave Rep to his gaming. He'd never imagine Rep enjoyed sitting under a blanket playing on a laptop, but yet again his image of the man was changed. He seemed so much more human.
"Sexy puddin'. That's just dumb." He laughed, exiting the room in a better mood than he'd entered.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
