Welcome to Gaia! ::

Walking in calmly, Kenji seemed relaxed at the prospect of the evaluation, not really knowing what to expect, but more or less sure that it would be an interesting experience. It was after all nice to be able to mentor the newcomers in the village and help them on their way. With his hands still in his pockets, Kenji wlked through the sliding doors, not bothering to close them as he was sure Haruko and Rashir would be arriving soon...

"Alright Akuma...let's start with some basic Taijutsu, let's see how you do with that first." kenji made no change in his stance as he stood across the room from Akuma, leaving his hands in his pockets as he waited Akuma's first move.

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((A couple of comments on this post :

1. Be careful of assigning action to your opponent without them making note of it, especially when it's going to "make" them leave an opening. For example, Kenji swaying to the right when he adjusts his hands, you can't really say I'd do that because in my mind, Im standing perfectly still.

2. Also, your sentences are a little fragmented. they are complete sentences, but they lack cohesion. example : "He gets a feel for the pattern. On impulse, Akuma charges toward his sensei. Noticing that his sensei would avoid his attack, Akuma hurled himself upwards. " and "Spinning in the air, he extends his left leg forward and brings his leg down. Akuma was aiming for his sensei's shoulder."

...both of these sentences can be worded to flow together cleanly, while providing a more exciting reading experience. too many periods can often remove from the description and make everything seem very boxy and boring.

3. Also, I think i get the general idea, but are you essentially trying to drop kick me from above? ))

Watching Akuma intently as he ran forward, leaping into the air to deliver a drop kick, Kenji though it was strange that he would start off with an aerial move when it would give him so much time to react. removing his right hand from his pocket, Kenji brought his arm up to block and deflect Akuma's attack. Kenji had angle his arm carefully so that Akuma's leg would be deflected, but so that his momentum would still carry him downward, as Kenji waited for his leg to slide down the back of his wrist to his forearm before he grabbed Akuma's lower leg, pulling it towards him while rotating his own body clockwise around the attack.

This would throw Akuma off balance, but not so much that he would fall down. It was done more so to simply deflect the attack and allow him to try again. "All those acrobatics right from the start leave you too open and gives me a lot of time to respond. Try again, and keep it on the ground this time." Kenji then waited silently, placing his hand back in his pocket.

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((No worries on the points I made and any "mistakes", that's why we are here. blaugh Go ahead and post again, I'll make notes as needed.))

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1 - Just to supply a note here, Using the 'Preview option' and reading through your post should point out formatting errors like what appeared at the end of your post. (Well you edited it anyways, so no biggie.)

2- Also, the way you opened the sentence was awkward. What do you mean by "He Shouldn't find a pattern."

3 - Now I know that's what your brain is processing based off of what I told you last post, but it just seems strange in context. It might have been better written as : "Akuma studied his sensei again, but was unable to find any kind of pattern or opening that he could exploit."

4 - The next sentence, again, is fragmented. it could probably be stated better by combining it with the next sentence : "When he realized that analyzing his sensei would yield nothing, Akuma decided to attack on instinct and charged towards him, running at full force.

5 - You mentioned that you "hoped to connect your attack" , but you never actually said how you were attacking, with what, and from where. I can't really respond to an attack unless you tell me exactly what the attack is.

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((Alright, well this is a vastly improved attempt from your last two posts, but I'm confused with the ending. What do you mean by "he couldn't see the punch, nor his sensei." ?))

"There we go, now he's really trying." As the fist drew closer to him, Kenji watched it's trail of movement, noticing that it was very basic in it's nature and responded to it accordingly. With his hands still in his pockets, Kenji leaned back, shifting his right foot slightly and side-stepped the attack, moving his head out of the way of Akuma's attack in just the nick of time...the punch moving practically in slow motion as it moved past his face.

Kenji then ducked down quickly, continuing to spin his body in the direction he had sidestepped. With his left side now lined up with Akuma's open right side, he shifted his weight to his left leg and continued his spin, pivoting on the one foot as he kicked out his right leg to deliver a sweeping kick to the back of Akuma's legs.

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((Only one note here, you didn't specify which arm you punched with, so I assumed you attacked with your right arm. ))

After Kenji's leg connected, tripping Akuma and sending him tumbling backwards into the wall, Kenji rose from his crouched attack, his hands still in his pockets, and watched Akuma as he stared at him upside down from across the room.

"That's twice now that you have attacked me and given me far too much time to react to you. Why do you keep launching your attacks from across the room? I'm just standing still here, waiting for you to attack, making no attack of my own, so why are you rushing at me like you need to end this fight in as little time as possible? In the field, when you attack your opponent without knowing anything about them, you put your life at risk instantly. This is not to say that attacking first is always the wrong choice, but attacking with HASTE, is often a recipe for failure."

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((That was good. smile )