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 Posted: Wed Dec 30, 2009 4:55 pm
Hi...
I'm Camellia and I'm 17 years old. When I was in middle school, I was bullied and shunned for 2 years. This along, with my problematic realtionship with my parents has somehow isolated me from the world-to the point where I find it difficult to connect or even get close to other people.
Even before that, I've always had trouble getting along with other people. Somehow, I just feel like I'm different and I don't really fit in or that they didn't seem to welcome/appreciate me.
There has been points in my life when I've thought about suicide, and considered it. But I've never really attempted it.
The reason I joined this guild is because I was hoping I could find people who could relate to me, and to help people. Somehow, I'm less insecure and self-concious when I'm talking online.
I like art, literature, anime, writing, quotes, and online games. I value individuality, freedom, open-mindedness, creativity, and originality. I dislike people who use violence, who are intentionally cruel to others, and overprivilaged/spoiled/superficial/shallow people.
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Posted: Mon Feb 08, 2010 6:36 pm
Hmm, hello.
For sum weird reason, I've never liked to tell other people mai problems such as many of yu have..I could tell yu that I do cut maiself and when mai mom found out, let's just say it wasn't a great night or week...After a while mai mom accepted it, for a while, and took me too see sumone that could help me and I would miss half of school on Thursdays every other 3 weeks, but that really didn't help. It was boring and the guy only proved to me that mai depression and mai outbursts were just mai fault.. I stopped going and now I'm just the same before I went to see someone..I get really parinoid at times, once when I had taken 4 pain killers and was about to swallow mai fifth I could have sworn I heard someone laugh, mind yu I was the only one home at 9 o'clock..Depressing I'm usually always home alone while mai mom is out with her boyfriend, mai sister out with her, oh so many, friends&mai other sister at work or practice..I'm not that outgoing, I pretty much stay home and read or listen to music in our laundry room. It's actually very calming there. Mai name is Antonia, but I'd love it if yu called me Kerli..I'm 14 years old, ugh..I joined this guild because most of the people I chat on Gaia are always soo cheery and happy, not that I don't like cheery and happy, it's just that it makes me feel bad because I feel I'm putting their mood down. I dont want to put anyone's mood down here, but yu want to talk to me just send me a PM or comment, it'd really make mai day.. I also have an MSN if anyone wants to e-mail me just go ahead and PM me for mai e-mail. I have much, much more to say but I figure I've bored many of yu already so if yu have any questions or advice yu know how to reach me. <3
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Posted: Fri Feb 26, 2010 11:13 am
~ Hello, you may call me Suki, or you may call me by my real name, Megan. I have Diabetes. I am also a bit over-weight. I have two half brothers, one whome was always like my best friend, and one half sister, who hates my mother and father, and I sometimes think she hates me. I rarely see my brothers, which adds to the slight depression I have. My mother has MS (Multiple Sclorosis) and Diabetes, my father ALWAYS has to take care of her since she can't even walk by herself. My father has many blood clots in his leg so he kind of limps when he walks. I'm the youngest in my family. Because of most of these things I have some slight depression. Besides the negative. I enjoy reading, drawing or sketching, being on gaia and talking to my friends, watching anime, and I love playing video games. I love my boyfriend patrick with all of my heart. So. Yeah thats pretty much my life.. ~
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Posted: Thu Mar 04, 2010 8:42 pm
Hello gaia... My rl name is Patricia, though u can just call me Pat or dark. i'll turn 16 on 3/21/10, which means i only have 2 more years to live in this hell hole with my "parents". i've been struggling with depression for a number of years now,probably since i was like 12, though it never really showed untill now..i'm good at hiding it in rl life, though here i really dont care if ppl kno that im depressed.ur probably wondering y im like this... one reason is because my mother died alittle over a year ago. .i've taken care of her since i was 6, because my a** of a father hurt her badly and she never fully healed, so i never really had a childhood. the state found out once, and i had to go into foster for about a year...and they made me live with my father for a while, i really don't want to spell out what happed when i was living with him but u can probably figure it out if u think about it... anyway after that i had to go to court because of him, and im really scared that he may find me one day...after that social services put me in a state home, and in the psych ward for a while because they thought my mother couldn't properly take care of me. she couldn't work and we were on welfare, but they didn't give us much, so we never had much.. when i was 12 my mother went into the hospital for the first time, appearatly she had fallen and been on the floor for 2 weeks but because i wasn't living with her at the time i didn't know. for the next year after that i lived with my friends and by myself, even lived with one of my teachers for a while because i had no where else to go... then she was seemingly better so they sent her home, and i took care of her once again...then on 12/6/08 i found her dead in her room.... now i live with my aunt and uncle, who hate me. they feel "obligated" to have me live with them because my mom was my aunts sister. i guess death is the reason im depressed. in the last 2 years i've lost my mother, my grand parents, and one of my friends (they commited suicide). i've tried to overdose on pain killers..,but i chickened out at the last minute....i cut.... i'm basicly a ******** mess, thats y i joined this guild, to meet ppl like me..ppl afraid to talk about their pain in rl life, i kno i am....anyways thats about all im willing to tell about myself...i wish i could die right now...
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Posted: Fri Mar 05, 2010 5:44 pm
Hi im Jess, 15 and i come from a broken home like a lot of people
I grew up watching my mum get beaten by my dad and so did my older bro. My bro thought that this was how you were meant to treat females and so he started beating me up too. In july 2006 my mum left my dad and that fathers day i spent with her and her new partner against my will. 2 weeks later we were moving in with him. Eventually my dad started attacking my brother and it didnt take long for my brother to move out (we are 6 years apart) me and mum are always fighting, my mum is now smoking heavily and could have a heart attack due to stress anyday. i cant live with her for more than 4 days because i hate her partner (now fiance) last year i was forced to put my father up for child abuse as i started getting attacked but my brother still hasent changed, he still throws me around and whilst my friend was over he smashed my head into a door handle and threw my face into the floor. I dont want to put him up for anything as he has a 2 month old son. i see a psychologist and she is trying to get me to stop self harming which i only do when i am with mum. when my mum found out she just called me stupid, she never listens to me and we dont spend time together, her fiance is always around. I self harm when me and mum are fighting , its my way to let out anger or to feel general pain. If i dont i feel like i am being turned into my brother or my father and i want to hit her. I have dont this twice, the first time i hit her in the arm and regretted it almost instantly and the second time i elbowed her in the knee because she had elbowed me in the throat and i collapsed .I have thought about suicide but i have a boyfriend and a group of amazing people i couldnt do it to. i spend more time with my dad because i find it mentally easier. I feel as though my past was just a nightmare and i dont find it that bad. this is getting long so im gonna stop. PM me if you want to talk because ill probably forget i sent this soon and wont check on it so yeah thanks : )
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