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dramaartwriting Vice Captain
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 Posted: Sat Jan 24, 2009 10:06 pm
firezz3 Title : Lay Me Down
Author : SamsuL/Firezz3
Oh Mother ~
Can I Lay Me Down ~
I Can't Control The Tiredness Of My Body
Can I Lay Me Down ~ Now ~
This Is No Ordinary Feeling
I've Got Today
Oh Father ~
Can I Lay Me Down ~
P/S - I'm Sooo Tired . Lots And Lots Of Works . I'm Doing The Best For Myself .
PEACE ! PEACE ! NO WAR !
This Is Been a SamsuL/Firezz3 Service Announcement Very sad, is it meant to be a sleeping laying down or is it supposed to be a depression or a very tired ending of the day? Interesting use of the "~" in the poem.
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Posted: Mon Jan 26, 2009 3:27 am
Thank You For The Correction Sir ~
Thank You For Commenting Sir ~
Thank You For Everything That You've Done For Me Sir ~
Lay Me Down Poem Is About a Very Tired Ending Of The Day Sir ~
It's About Me . On The Day I Wrote "Lay Me Down" I Was So Tired . I Woke Up 5 a.m. Go To School Till 2 p.m. I Have Extra Class On 2.30 p.m Till 5 p.m. And I Had Lots Of Homework . I Slept 12 Midnight And Start Again With 5 a.m.
It Was a Tired Day Sir ~
Oooyaaahhh!!! I Love "~" !! LOL ~ I Started Use "~" When I Realized The "~" Was So Cute !! Hahaha ~
Thank You For Everything Sir ~
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Posted: Sat Jan 31, 2009 10:26 pm
Author : SamsuL/Firezz3
The Way We Move
Made This Anonymous Groove
You Move Like a Butterfly Fighting The Wind
I Move Like a Bee Stinging The Skin
The Movement We Made Is Like The Speed Of Light
The Movement We Made Shining Bright
You Beat The Breaking
I'm Breaking The Beat
When We Combine a Name Appeared
Dynamic Duo You Volunteered
Two Men Standing In Dynamic Duo
Making History For Dynamic Duo
Till One Of Us Gone
A New Person Will Born
PEACE ! PEACE ! NO WAR !
This Is Been a SamsuL/Firezz3 Service Announcement
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Posted: Sun Feb 01, 2009 12:25 am
I love it, though I don't understand the last line.
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dramaartwriting Vice Captain
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Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 9:52 pm
The Last Line Mean Someone Will Takeover His Or My Place ~
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Posted: Sat Feb 07, 2009 1:59 pm
firezz3 The Last Line Mean Someone Will Takeover His Or My Place ~ Ok, write some more. smile Might make the line "...Will Be Born" for grammar
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dramaartwriting Vice Captain
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Posted: Tue Mar 17, 2009 12:32 am
Title : Beautiful Day
Author : Firezz3/SamsuL
It's a Beautiful Day
I Wish It Last Forever
It's The Day At The Bay
Could It Be Like Chris Brown Forever
A Couple's Heart Bloom
In Romantic Scene Of Candle Light
In Gloomy Room
With Dim Light
The Sky Is Blue
Mixing With The White Clouds
Their Like Glue
In a Harmony Crowds
P/S : To Be Continued . Not Yet Finish . LOL . Sorry .
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Posted: Fri Mar 20, 2009 11:09 pm
It may not be finished, but it's cool so far. In every stanza, there's this initial image that gets totally flipped on its side by the second or third line. Very nice? Does it have a specific story behind it?
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Posted: Sat Jun 27, 2009 10:00 pm
firezz3 Title : Beautiful Day
Author : Firezz3/SamsuLIt's a Beautiful Day
I Wish It Last Forever
It's The Day At The Bay
Could It Be Like Chris Brown Forever
A Couple's Heart Bloom
In Romantic Scene Of Candle Light
In Gloomy Room
With Dim Light
The Sky Is Blue
Mixing With The White Clouds
Their Like Glue
In a Harmony CrowdsP/S : To Be Continued . Not Yet Finish . LOL . Sorry . I Can't Finish This Poem !!! Can Anyone Help Me ? Please ~ Thank You Sir Tofu ~ Yup ~
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Posted: Wed Jul 01, 2009 12:57 am
a mix up in what you wrote... "they're" is the word(s) not "their"
"They're Like Glue"
(and to continue your poem...)
....
Holding Hands, Never Have Fear
They Search For Words To Say
Looking From Oceanside Pier
Oh What Day By The Bay
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Posted: Tue Jul 07, 2009 11:43 pm
Hm, well I'm neither a great poet nor an especially lyrical one, but i'll give it a shot. No guts no glory, ne?
Sailboats And Seagulls,
Waves Glisten In The Sun,
The Crowd's Deep Tenor Lulls,
A Kiss Joins Two In One.
...so... not so good, but maybe it'll give you an idea at least. sweatdrop
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Posted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 6:55 pm
Thank You For Your Respond Sir Donald And Sir Basil-Tofu ~
Sir Donald Long Time No See ~ I've Been Inactive Lately ~ Cant Help It ~ My Big Exam This Year Is Just Around The Corner ~
I Got Butterfly In My Stomach ~ But I'll Try To Bring My Confidence Back ~ Heeeeee ~
Thank You For Finishing My Poems ~ I Love Them Both ~ Such a Beautiful Stanza U Guys Gave Me ~
Now The Author Of The Poem Is Samsul/Firezz , Donald Anderson And Basil-Tofu ~
Haha ~
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Posted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 7:12 pm
Title : Live Your Life
Author : SamsuL
The World Is Rough
You Have To Be Tough
You Have Been Hurt
Now You Are More Alert
Your Heart Torn Up Right Now
Memory Shattered All Over You By Now
I Am a Friend Of You
I'll Rescue You From Your Blues
You Should Start a New Life
Turn Those Dark Life To a Colourful Life
With a New Great Chapter
That You Will Never Regret After
You Are The Shiny Moon
And The Stars Will Come To You Soon
Now The Stars Is Around You
Now You Know They Are Friends To You
This Is Been a SamsuL/Firezz3 Service Announcement
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Posted: Thu Jul 16, 2009 2:31 pm
Ah, you're welcome! ^__^ I'm glad you liked it. Ah, and i like Live Your Life. The first stanza especially holds a heavy sense of truth. I would change the 'is' in the second to last line to 'are' to be grammatically consistent, but besides that, i really liked it. ^__^
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Posted: Thu Aug 13, 2009 4:48 am
Ehee ~
Oh ~ Thank You For Loving And Liking My Poems ~
Thank You So Much Sir Basil-Tofu ~
And Another Thank You For Correcting My Poem ~
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