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 Posted: Mon Mar 28, 2005 12:45 pm
Don't post much in this guild...I should post more. *shrug*
Anywho. Out of my meds in 3 days. I won't be able to get them refilled until the 21st of April, because the psychiatrist can't get me in till then.
My physician won't refill them anymore. It will be interesting. Very...interesting. stare Blah.
Rainy, shitty day. Left to the computer, and my thoughts. >.< Not a good day.
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Posted: Tue Mar 29, 2005 2:55 pm
Hello all. I'm a new member. Just joined today.
I've been in a depression slump for almost a year. I had some issues at the beginning of my marriage, as all people do, but my marriage is going strong. My husband is very supportive, even though my OCD drives him crazy. He puts up with my moodswings too.
Currently Gaia is my only outlet and that hasn't really been doing it for me. I'm not suicidal or anything, just angsty. It really bothers me but nothing I do helps. It doesn't help that I am in a situation where I get screamed at daily.
I want to be happy again but I really don't know what I can do about it. In a perioud of a year I've lost my apartment, 2 jobs, my cats, and almost my husband. I'm waiting for the upswing..
I think the military might be what I've been waiting for. My husband joined and he will be shipping off to Basic Training in August. I think my therapy will be covered by the medical insurance. If it's not, I'll just get a job.
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Posted: Tue Mar 29, 2005 3:21 pm
Hey.
I should really take meds again, if gone ages without them but now I'm really going out of my mind. I'm causing fights with my boyfriend, jumping off buildings and this morning I ran away, I just ran across loads of fields crying and I don't know why.
Am I lossing me mind?!
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Posted: Tue Mar 29, 2005 7:37 pm
well, i'm just about the biggest ******** up on the planet. it seems like everyday i give my boyfriend a new reason to cry. today was our 6 month anniverary (yay-ness), and i was so lethargic i couldn't decide what we should do... ugh! i don't really feel like detailing the whole picture... i can hardly move though.
ugh! why today?! this was not a good day for a sharp turn on the downward spiral. not at all. ******** all this stupid s**t! i am just a ******** up. i just wanna bash my head against things! of coarse, i can't, because then everyone will think i am crazy. that's what they want me to do. well ******** THEM!!!
"don't fester" ugh! i'm gonna smash my worthless phone! it does nothing but remind me i'm not allowed to talk to anyone or talk on the phone or hang out with anyone and that IF I FEEL ******** UP, I GOTTA JUST FEEL IT ALL ALONE IN MY HEAD!! EVERY ******** DAY!!!! and it never seems to end. it never ends. even when it's good, it's just waiting to go bad. waiting... spiraling down down down... tomarrow will come... soon soon soon.... and i won't have to be alone... 'cause i'll have school.
crying cry sad stare
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Apocalyptic Exhibitionist
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Posted: Wed Mar 30, 2005 1:41 pm
i was randomly depressed this morning but i have no idea why....that happens a lot to me....does that ever happen to you guys?
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Posted: Wed Mar 30, 2005 5:11 pm
ieatcrayons3480 i was randomly depressed this morning but i have no idea why....that happens a lot to me....does that ever happen to you guys? All the time.
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Posted: Wed Mar 30, 2005 5:36 pm
...shoot me now? Yeah thanks.
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Posted: Wed Mar 30, 2005 8:15 pm
Appin ieatcrayons3480 i was randomly depressed this morning but i have no idea why....that happens a lot to me....does that ever happen to you guys? All the time. and at the most inconvenient times it seems. times when it just is so frustrating to be so slow and ... for lack of better word, sad. gah, i know what it's like. i cried all first period today. i just want to be normal sometimes. i just wish that i could go a day with out the random thick air and lack of air. i am really, really low right now. it sucks too because when you're depressed, alot of the times you don't have the energy to become un-depressed, and so there's no healing happening. and then, people throw it in your face, like you really like being miserable. i guess some people do, but come on... don't they think that i could be happy and laughing, i would be? you know the feeling of laughter, and how precious it can seem after weeks alone and miserable? none of us asked to be this way. as an artist, i dunno if i'd be willing to sacrifice my mood swings, but as a human... sometimes, it's all i wish for. just peace...
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Posted: Thu Apr 07, 2005 1:26 pm
my friend mattt died yesterday and i don't know what... i don't know. i can't stop crying. it seems like he's gonna walk through the door and tomarrow none of this will have happened but that's not the way of it. i am so miserable. i can't handle this. i can't deal with this. not right now... mattt? why mattt?
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Posted: Fri Apr 08, 2005 11:11 pm
i_love_sesshy_and_kouga gah...when im depressed i don't do anything, except blast my green day cd and sleep it off, which results in undone home work, which leads to failing tests, and getting kicked off my internet, my precious.....gaia keeps me sane sounds all too familiar.... neutral
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Apocalyptic Exhibitionist
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Apocalyptic Exhibitionist
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Posted: Fri Apr 08, 2005 11:21 pm
im depressed right now....i have been for about three weeks now....maybe longer...it just feels stupid, cuz the littlest things set me off crying my eyes out....and that feeling of stupidity makes the depression worse.....i dunno....im just lethargic....i dont want to move, i dont want to sleep, but i dont want to be awake either....
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Posted: Sat Apr 09, 2005 4:11 pm
I know what you mean. It's really gorgeous outside, but I can't seem to even move. I'm just staring. It's really awful. I'm like, bleeeh.
Downwards on the deep spiral I gooooo...where I stop, no one will know!
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Posted: Sat Apr 09, 2005 6:13 pm
Rorek Hello all. I'm a new member. Just joined today.
I've been in a depression slump for almost a year. I had some issues at the beginning of my marriage, as all people do, but my marriage is going strong. My husband is very supportive, even though my OCD drives him crazy. He puts up with my moodswings too.
Currently Gaia is my only outlet and that hasn't really been doing it for me. I'm not suicidal or anything, just angsty. It really bothers me but nothing I do helps. It doesn't help that I am in a situation where I get screamed at daily.
I want to be happy again but I really don't know what I can do about it. In a perioud of a year I've lost my apartment, 2 jobs, my cats, and almost my husband. I'm waiting for the upswing..
I think the military might be what I've been waiting for. My husband joined and he will be shipping off to Basic Training in August. I think my therapy will be covered by the medical insurance. If it's not, I'll just get a job. It is. ^_^ I am a military wife too. My husband has been in for over three years now. But here's what sucks. Although the health insurance is the best you can get, depending on where he's stationed will depend on how good your treatment will be. When you go from being seen within the week by a doctor, you could be waiting a month or more. My husband is deployed to Iraq right now and I have our son (he's 2) to care for all alone. This sucks, because I'm only now finding out that I am type II bipolar and have been for the past 8-10 years. I'm 24 now. I get more depressed than anything, and that makes me want to look for a quick fix...like spending money. And money that we don't have. I've spent us so far into debt, that now I'm living with HIS parents so we can pay it off. The nice thing is that it'll be paid off real soon here, before he gets back...but it's hard seeing 1200 a month go to Credit card debt. : / Now, when all the bills are paid, whatever money is left I spend until its gone. >.< I'm feeling insane right now. I have this rage and it's making me want to knock everything off my computer desk and onto the floor. Damn, it ******** feels soooo good to have somewhere to go to talk about this stuff. I think I'm gonna join.
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Posted: Sun Apr 17, 2005 9:12 pm
i think i'm just gonna cling to the shadows of where i belong... stare
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Posted: Mon Apr 18, 2005 11:59 am
I just almost took a whole bottle of aspirin.
s**t.
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Reply
