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 Posted: Wed Oct 24, 2007 10:41 pm
Mood: Pumped
Song: Take A Bow (Muse)
indentRight now I'm really happy and energetic! Today was a really good day... school started at 8:30 instead of 8, and I got to school at 8:40 anyways. But I really didn't care, I felt really refreshed and happy. I had all of my homework done before I got to school (for like, the first time in a while... I have a bad habit of procrastinating), so it was really nice to lay back and just go through a normal day like everyone else. In PE I ran 2 miles without stopping. I got really tired and finished 4th in a situatuation where the top 3 get extra credit so that sucked, but afterwards I felt loose which was good. 5th period History, which normally sucks, was really fun because all I did was draw pictures for a poster xD. And then 6th I found out I somehow have an A in math which was way cool.
Then I go to work, and things go pretty smoothly. Like, one kid was acting up, but my coworker Erika dealt with him so I just got to color and play with the good kids. Then we went outside and everyone built a massive leaf pile and took turns jumping in. It was really cute to watch k-6 kids working together and cheering each other on ^.^ !
Beth and I got into my car after work and started driving through the church parking lot towards the mall across the street, and we just randomly saw our really good friend Megan walking through the parking lot with her sister. We yell out to her and so she just jumped in the car and went to the mall with us. Megan and I can make each other laugh at anything so I love being with her. We bought some Starbucks with giftcards, then I bought us some Thaiway food, and then we ran over to Hot Topic to get Beth some stockings for Halloween. While there, I saw this really cool black and sky blue studded belt so I got it. Then we went to church and it was pretty good. Afterwards Alexy, Davy, and I basically just joked around for like an hour and it was really funny. I've been feeling kind of friendless and lame at school lately so when I went to church today I realized how many friends I have there and it made me feel really good. And here I am. It was just a very very good day.
indentMonday, on the other hand, was kind of nuts. So school's pretty normal. I turn in that stupid paper I was writing Sunday night, get more homework than I'd like, and then I get in my car to go to work. Only it still smells like crap from homecoming. I thought it was going away, but it was really warm out and my car had been cooking so this time it literally smelled like s**t. There were also two flies in my car so I was like 'ok, SOMETHING in here needs to go'. I scour around a bit, and then I see it- a doggie bag behind the back seat!! I take it out of my car, open it up, and the smell just hits me hard. But worse then that, there are like grubs and maggots all wiggling around in it and I freak out and drop the box on the pavement. Then I pull myself together and throw it away. I was in a state of shock for like an hour afterwards, it was so gross... Turns out Davy left his Enchalada from homecoming in my car! Homecoming was the 29th of September, this was the 22nd of October. EW
I had a piano class next, which is where a bunch of kids in the same age group get together and play songs for each other and learn theory and stuff. Only today there are a bunch of us for some reason, about 8. And I'm the only guy. I'm used to that because like all my friends are girls, but still, everyone else had to keep pointing it out and making a deal of it so it was awkward. Two people played before me, and they were ok, and then I played... I played a Beethoven Sonata, and it was good song but I didn't play it so well so I was really really embarrassed... to make it worse the 3 people after me played concertos, so with the accompaniment they sounded way better than they actually were so I felt really stupid... I ran straight over to my brother's middle school concert night thing. He was in the choir and he looked totally dead and had his head all tilted like he just had a stroke or an epilepsy or something. It made me laugh. The concert was only 45 minutes so it was tolerable.
indentYesterday I don't really recall much except that I really enjoyed second period. Gwen (my lab partner) and I just sat around laughing, because she's pretty crazy and she brings out my craziness, only we aren't really good friends with anyone else in the room except a couple people behind me so we always feel kind of stupid but don't care. And then Adam was helping put up these strings around the room for the freshmen, and he sort of stayed around my area a lot and got a lot closer to me than he had to and accidentally dropped the string on me. Yeah, I'll admit I'm one of those people who will interpret and twist things in my favor, but it seemed like a good sign to me xD.
Rest of the day was pretty normal until after work. The after school care workers had a nice dinner together at Olive Garden after work. That includes me, Beth, Erika (a 19-year-old college student who just moved here), Linda (that cool 38-year-old), and Karen (the 40-some-year-old who's kind of stuffier but means well). I order a ravioli thing with my own money which kind of sucked... so much money!! And then Beth convinced me to share a $7 cheesecake thing with her. I got so full! Like, first my soup, then some salad, then two breadsticks, then my meal, then I'm trying to shove some amazing cheesecake down my throat but I'm almost throwing up. It was really fun though, I got to know Erika a lot more because she's pretty new.
indentI apologize for writing so much in these and using so many personal names that probably don't mean anything to you, but I really am using this as an online journal. Like, I don't write in my actual journal anymore, I just write in here. So I'm kind of logging a lot of stuff down. xP
I also apologize for how I'm coming off. I probably seem a lot more shallow to you guys in here than I do in the towns, so it might seem like I'm trying to be a different person or something. I just hope you guys understand because I still love you guys even though we don't chat much anymore. You guys have been there for me when my RL friends aren't and that means a lot.
indentLast notes. Newest episode of 'I Love New York', and I was really scared for Tailor Made but he got the first chain which rocked. He's a man and a half! He's hot and a gentleman. To the point where New York's most likely going to off him because she likes trashier boys )= . But I can cheer for him anyways.
And now Caitlyn doesn't really want to go to Sadies because her ex-boyfriend is going and she thinks it will be really awkward for her and make her sad. So I went from two dates to no dates in no time at all pretty much.
I'm really happy right now and I hope that stays. In the past week I've heard two speeches, a study and a sermon about changing yourself and looking at your life in a more positive and nonchalant way, and I'm kind of listening to them. So maybe I'll be happier now =D ?
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Posted: Thu Oct 25, 2007 9:37 pm
Mood: Pensive in a Good Way
Song: Innocence (Avril Lavigne)
indentSo. Piano lessons this morning. I had a lesson just like all my other ones. I get there a few minutes late, not enough to ruin the lesson but late enough to be noteworthy. Then I play through my songs, which I'm almost good at enough for her but not quite. It's like, I'm always ALMOST good enough. But not quite because I'm not a dedicated practicer. It's really frustrating because I want to be good but I can't seem to force myself to practice enough.
indentI get to school at 7:40 because my lesson ends around 7:35, and school starts at 8:30 today. So I sit around in the library talking to my friend Jackie, who I don't have any classes with now so I don't see her as much nowadays. The day was pretty normal, except that I felt sick of doing busy work. I was quieter today, and it's not like I was exactly in a bad mood so much as I didn't feel... good. I wasn't content or happy, but I wasn't really feeling bad either. Hard to explain. Work was normal, but I got to leave early at 4:50 so I could pick up my dog from the groomer's. Whenever he comes back from there he has this adorable bandana around his neck on and he smells nice, it's precious. On the way home I let him ride in my lap and I rolled down the window. he tried to do the whole dog thing where he sticks his head out the window, only he's a tiny Pomeranian so even with my lap and arms to prop him up he's still not quite tall enough xD.
indentI got home and watched Tila Tequila. This episode was actually better. I mean, it still seems like they're settling into a routine, but things are improving and we're getting to know people more. First episode was "meet the people", Second was "omg BI!?!", and this one was "Uh don't hook up with other contestants". That's the jist of it. I like Amanda for the girls and Steven for the guys. After the show, I actually felt like doing normal homework! Which is weird, because normally I only do big things at home and then cram in my normal assignments during school the next day. I finished all of it except half of a math paper. Then I went on the computer and went to that "Rate my teachers" website. It's pretty funny. And here I am.
indentI've gone from 7 million to 3.6 million gold in the past two weeks on Gaia... I'm trying my hand at stockpiling and I hope it goes well. because if it backfires I just lost a lot. But yeah. I'm going to see if I can hang out with my dear friend Alethea and her sister Vania this weekend. They're the two half-Asians who call me brother because last year and this summer I pretty much lived at their house xD. I haven't been there for a month though which is way sad, and Alexy is going over there and invited Megan to come with. I hope I get invited too ;.; ...
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Posted: Mon Oct 29, 2007 10:00 pm
Mood: Good
Song: In The Waiting Line (Zero 7)
indentYeah, I'm in a good mood right now, but I can almost gurantee I won't be tomorrow. I'm putting off a lot so I'm guessing there's gonna be a lot of work for me tomorrow. So much for improving my work ethic, but hey, at least I practiced the piano today... xD
indentFriday dragged on and on. It was like, GIVE ME THE WEEKEND! I got no homework in any of my classes and did no work in them either, so it was really really long. At work Lexy texted me asking me if I wanted to go to a cornmaze. So, after work I called her. Turns out my dear friend Megan was trying to have some people come over to the cornmaze and pumpkin patch in her backyard (like... seriously. Her backyard borders on a giant farm complex by the Christmas trees and pumpkins o.O). It closed early though so she wanted people to come over as soon as possible. Aka I ran straight over there from work.
indentBefore I go on, I should probably clear some things up about Megan. You can skip this if you don't need a bio or anything xD. Basically, we dated for 8 months from June 2005-February 2006. We were pretty close for a lot of it and were actually quite a discussed item- a sort of Brad & Jen thing because everyone was all glad we hooked up and thought we were your perfect young couple. But yeah, things grew kind of awkward between us in January so we broke up a month later. Things had basically grown stagnant between us and we weren't really moving anywhere in our relationship. Looking back I think it was because the gay part of me could never really get as close to her as I'd like to, but if I were straight I'd really pursue her again because she's amazing. So yeah moooooving right along.
indentI sang along with the cranked Michelle Branch in my car, which is a great way to get me in the mood for anything. I got to Megan's house, and then Alexy showed up. Turned out the others couldn't go, but whatever, we're cool enough just the three of us. The cornmaze closed even earlier than she thought, so we decided to spend the night and go there in the morning. We sat around, ate health food (her dad's a doctor and her mom's a nutritionist, and they're way rich so they can afford health stuff), played games, went online, chatted, etc etc. We then played Imagine-Iff, which is actually a really fun game if you make it one. Somehow Megan and I got to making fun of this slut girl from school for half an hour with that game, to the point where I ached from laughing. Alexy kind of joined in but I think we were freaking her out xD. Then we watch this movie called "The Fountain", which was almost good but the guy really annoyed me so yeah. Then we went to sleep in her extra room which is hella comfy and full of TONS of blankets and pillows and exercise mats and foutons and those egg chairs and more.
indentWhen we woke up, we did random crap until the cornmaze opened. We ran over there and got in. For the first half hour it was just fun, but then we were ready to get out. We tried using the bad map, but it wasn't helping. So, an hour into it, Alexy gets the bright idea to do a Hansel and Gretel thing: we pick corn and then scatter the kernels on the ground where we walked. Well, forty five minutes later, everywhere was covered with corn and there was still no exit. It's two hours total now and we're all PISSED and we leave through the entrance and go into the exit to see where we were supposed to go. Guess what? A windstorm had knocked over part of the path so what we thought was a cheating trailblazer path was actually the exit. We were mad so we stole some pumpkins and snuck them over to Megan's backyard >:3 !!
indentWell Alexy had been invited over to our dear friend Alethea's house at 6 or so to eat some delicious Pho made by Alethea's Vietnamese mother, and Megan really wanted to go too. So, Alexy called her younger sister (also my good friend) Vania, and was like "hey what if Megan came?" and Vania's like "I'll call her" and Alexy's like "uhh... I'll call her". A bit later she called back and suggested I come, and since I always bring over my PS3 and they consider me their white brother they were of course down with it. It was funnier then it sounds because Megan and I could hear the whole phone conversation on speaker phone and the 3 of us were all conniving. I felt kind of bad but it was all good.
indentAlexy leaves, I help Megan study for her written driver's test, and then I head out too. I do random stuff at home for a few hours, then head over to Alethea's. We play some Tales of the Abyss, eat some Pho, and then watch "Transformers". It was ok except that it was extremely reminiscent of "Disturbia" with a twist of killer robots. We had gotten there late enough that it was already late so we went to bed. I woke up at 7:30 to take Megan to her job as a barista at the church and that sucked xP. I went home after that and spent my whole Sunday playing Tales of the Abyss, literally. It was a dead day but fun.
indentWell today classes were pretty normal except for 2nd and 5th. In 2nd (Biology) I found out my lab partner went to a College party with another friend. It sounded way fun and so when she voiced objection about me not inviting to the cornmaze I did the same about the party. And she was like "well if you want to come some other time I'll invite you, I just didn't think you'd be interested." So next college party I'm soooo there 8D !!! In 5th (History) I was giving a group presentation and got a frog stuck in my throat. So I stopped myself midsentence, tried continuing again, but then stopped again and passed the baton to another member in my group. After 20 seconds I pulled it together and finished out the presentation rather well and humerously, but I was SOOOO embarrassed! This class is particularly judgemental, and they're the sort of people who I actually care if they have a good opinion of me. Some people were snickering at me, and it persisted long enough so that I actually heard someone say, "come on guys, stop laughing at him". UGGH. Now everyone thinks I have public speaking problems or something. Sorry about the phlem, people D: !!
indentWork was switched up today. I went with the 3rd through 6th graders today and Beth took the younger ones. It was actually kind of nice. They're a lot more rowdy, but less work to manage. Rather than coloring and babysitting and then going outside to play tons of random games, I stayed indoors and spent the whole time playing Uno and owning at scrabble (hellz yeah! "vividly" with a triple word bonus <3!).
indentAfter work I went to the mall. I ran into my lab partner and two of her friends. It was pretty cool. We talked and walked together a bit but then split up because I had things to buy. I went into bath and body works and bought a pumpkin candle on sale for Alexy's mom's birthday, and then I saw my weights class partner Heather applying for a job at a store. We went to Claire's and got a large earring set for cheap, then shopped at a bad Macy's sale until she had to go. I ran over to Safeway from there and bought a pumpkin to carve for an English extra credit project. When I got home I practiced piano and ate mini egg rolls, and then I watched the new "I Love New York" episode with my brother. OMG my heart was RACING at tonight's elimination! I was so afraid Tailor Made would leave!! Instead Buddha left because he was fighting and 20 pack left because he was slow. Phew, another win!!
indentNot much else to say. I bled a ton today- 4 times! First I dropped a 10 lb weight on the tip of my finger so my cuticle started bleeding; I had to get a band-aid for it. Then at the mall I dropped a candle on a porcelain apple, broke it, and somehow cut my finger on it in the process. It was bleeding pretty badly and soaking through the napkin I had so I had to get another band-aid (from Claire's =P). I got home and noticed that a huge pimple sprang up in the past 5 hours, so yeah, you get the picture there. And it bled more that I expected which was gross. Then I tried changing my titanium stud to a black hoop I just got. You're supposed to wait 8 weeks after getting a piercing before changing the earring, and as of tomorrow I've had mine for 3... not the smartest move. So I took out the earring clean enough, but I couldn't get the hoop in. My ear starts turning red and bleeding, and I'm starting to freak out because I can't get it in. Finally I tried putting in one of the black studs I just got and it went in easy enough. So yeah, lots of blood. I'll leave you on that pleasant note =B !
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Posted: Tue Oct 30, 2007 9:02 pm
Mood: Irate
Song: Ooh Ooh Baby (Britney Spears)
indentI was right. Not such a good day in comparison to yesterday. In 1st period English we were given a journal prompt where Macbeth basically says "life is meaningless". People read their reactions out loud and stuff, and after 8 people had gone it was apparent that everyone disagreed- life is full of meaning and value, they said. I was the only person who even slightly agreed with it, and I was a kind of. So I had to read mine out loud as a dissenting opinion, and everyone was just sort of like 'uh, emo much?'. Eh. Whatever. What actually made me sad was 2nd period. I'm walking towards the room and Adam is just standing by the door facing the hallway with his friend, and he's staring straight at me. Rather than say something cordial or acknowledge him or something, I panic and act like I just got a text message and buried myself in my phone. Dammit. I am SO awkward... And now I have a crap load on math homework.
indentWork was actually very nice. Compared to the young kids, it is WAY easy to watch the older kids. I've made some friends xD. Somehow a 7th grader was allowed in the program, and she's pretty cool. Plus this teacher's pet 5th grader is a really good teacher's pet and I can't resist her charm. After work I went to Goodwill for an hour, and left with a new striped shirt I plan to layer with, this weird tie-belt thing, a hat and sweater for my TJ outfit (from Recess), and a pair of pants for my James (from Team Rocket) outfit. I then ran to Target and got Britney Spear's new CD, Blackout.
indentNow I'm just not in a great mood. Not bad, just... irate. Why am I so awkward around people? Why was there NOTHING in Goodwill that could work as a Team Rocket jacket? Why doesn't my lab partner want to be my Recess partner as Spineli anymore? Why is Britney Spears' new CD so passable? Why do I actually have a notable amount of homework tonight? Just little things that add up to me not being too thrilled with today. I could be worse, at least. Tomorrow's Halloween and Sunday I get a new phone so I'll be feeling better soon enough.
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Posted: Thu Nov 01, 2007 10:15 pm
Mood: Fake/Jaded
Song: Irvine (Kelly Clarkson)
indentI just finished writing a kind of personal blog on myspace for my "preferred list" of readers on there. Pretty much on how I feel fake right now. So I'll keep things to a minimum.
indentHalloween was pretty cool. I'll recount that when I'm in a better mood.
indentSo today I wake up kind of late and race out the door. I get to school at 8:03, and I think I'm late, only guess what? School starts at 8:30. One part of me is happy because school's shorter, the other side of me is just pissed off because I checked the school website on Monday and it said today was a normal schedule. Whatever. My friend Ina got suckered into coming early too so we both went over to Burger King. We each go a croissantwitch and I got a small fanta. The day was normal after that. Average homework, other stuff, etc. I got Sudoku for homework in math, it's pretty fabulous. I came home and watched 4 episodes of Flavor of Love season 2, and then dealt with a few other things. I'm gonna go to bed soon. So yeah.
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Posted: Sun Nov 04, 2007 11:10 am
Mood: Sobered
Song: How Far We've Come (Matchbox 20)
K, so first I'll recount my Halloween:
indentWell, the plan was for me, Alexy, Davy, and Davy's band friend to all meet at my house at 6 so that we could leave to go Trick-or-Treating about 6:30. I get home from work at 5:45, so I'm still putting on my costume by the time Alexy shows up. After 10 minutes I'm really not too happy because Davy and his friend are late and I was disappointed with a turnout of 4 as it were. Well, then my friend Alethea comes to the door because apparently she was allowed to go last minute. Yay! Then my friend Ina shows up, and Kerah calls saying that she can meet up with us at the neighborhood we were going to. Good!
indentWell, we're finally able to leave at about 7. We listen to the new Britney Spears CD in my car, and Trick-or-Treat while Davy and his friend Trick-or-Can for school. It sucked waiting for them, but they went to a party at 8-ish so that was actually kind of better... =x . I was James and Alexy was Jesse (Team Rocket from Pokemon), Alethea was someone from Naruto, Ina borrowed my Gandalf costume from 3 years ago, Davy was a zombie, and his band friend was a werewolf. Overall the candy haul was pretty solid. The best part was when Ina and I were talking about last year. We had hit a house with a large party of band kids from my school so it was really embarrassing. Just as I finish the sentence "I hope we don't run into them this year" we see 5 of them Trick-or-Canning and they wave to us. We felt stupid but the irony was so perfect we could laugh it off. Then we saw like 15 school kids sitting around a car and of course they saw us too. I felt stuuupid but it was still funny. So yeah that was my Halloween. My last year Trick-or-Treating because I'm getting really old for it, but it good.
indentFriday was a normal day at school. I got no homework because I finished it all in class so that rocked. Evergreen Christian had a half day, so when I got there at 3 they had already been in care for 3 hours. It was really really fun! All of the kids were mixed together, but it was good because fewer kids stay on half days. The quiet kids went upstairs to watch a movie, and the rest of us went to the gym and colored, played games, etc. We started up a game of war ball and that was fun. Teachers vs kids! It was basically me, Beth, this 17 year old janitor named Cameron who is a total sweetie, and [sometimes] Erika versus the kids. We won all of the games except one ;D ! Then Beth, Cameron and I decide to play volleyball and so we did that for the rest of the time. That was fun!
indentAlexy texted me during work to say that Megan was over at her house so I went over after work. We watched some random TV then went to my house to watch a TiVo'd episode of 'I Love New York'. From there we went to Megan's house, where Alexy and I played Super Mario World and then we all played Halo 2. We talked late into the night about random things, which was really good. One of the things I found out is that Megan has the best English class EVER. It has like 14 kids in it who are all friends, the cool kids from drama and such (including Adam =o ). She had English 4th period, which is a period I'm planning on changing second semester anyways. So it will be way easy for me to transfer in and I can't wait!
indentSaturday went by really fast. We woke up, cooked, played with this conversation starter kit thing, and then watched Beauty and the Beast. My lab partner Gwen called and we talked a bit. Then my mom came over to trade cars, and my sister Emily happened to be with her because they had been at Starbucks. Then Alexy and Megan come outside too. So it was Lexy, Megan, Emily, my mom, and Gwen on speaker phone, all in Megan's driveway- crazy. Megan's friend from swim team came over at 4, and we did random stuff until 7:30 when I had to take Alexy home (I drove her there). Megan lives kind of far away so we had a good 25 minutes to talk. I told her more about how I'm pretty much gay and I don't know if I should come out. We talked a bunch and I wasn't happy with the results... the tone was pretty much "Well you'll still be my best friend and everything and I don't hate gay people but I really really don't want you to be gay... and I don't think you should come out etc etc". I thought she would be more receptive, but guess not >:/ ...
indentWell, today I slept a lot. My mom gave me my quarter grades, which by some miracle adds up to a 3.95 so far this semester. Haha, I landed an A in all of my classes except IB Biology where I got an A-. I was expecting an A- in math and history, and a C in science, so it was really surprising and made me laugh. I went on myspace to quick leave some comments, and as I was looking through the list of "moods/status updates", I noticed that Adam had "loved/in utter bliss" on his. Well, I couldn't resist... I saw a few comments about him going on a "hot date" and how people were hoping that it went well, and then I read a blog of his. ....It had everything I needed to know. Basically yeah, he's definitely gay. He recently got left by a college boyfriend in some horrible way, and then he went on a date with someone who had liked him for a long time. According to him this was the perfect guy and they had mad love for each other etc etc. Hehe... deep down I knew he never noticed me, but I'll believe what I want to believe I guess. I still want to transfer into that English class because it sounds like a great environment, but yeah, I'm not going to try to catch his eye or anything in science anymore. I feel... sobered. Like, I've been ignoring all the facts about the whole thing, but now there's no way I can lie to myself. So I guess I am crushless again.
indentIn conclusion for this week, I've gotten a lot more settled with my sexuality than I have for a long time.
-My crush got crushed, so it will be easier for me to think about these things on a practical level as opposed to them fitting in to some master plan where I end up dating Adam in the end. I tend to get subconciously carried away with crushes, and in retrospect I probably wouldn't have wanted to pierce my ear so bad if I didn't know that Adam liked them.
-I found out that Alexy still isn't as receptive to my orientation as I thought she would be. This makes me much more resistant to come out. I know that my sister and a couple of other friends would be fine, but what about everyone else? Kerah, Alethea, Alethea's sister, Beth, a bunch of other church friends, and the vast majority of the Evergreen Community would be upset, and I have no idea how Megan or Davy would respond. My parents have told me that if I ever come out to them (they're not stupid), they'll still love me the same and accept me, but I know it will be really hard on them and it WILL be different. Is it worth it?
-Alexy's mom is a psychic. Alexy was telling me about a conversation she and her mom had the other day. Alexy's mom asked if Alexy thought I was gay, and so she told her that yeah I was. Then Alexy's mom goes "oh so did he cheat on you with Charles?" o.O. Seriously, wtf. I've told 4 people about my thing with Charles: Alexy, my sister, Kerah, and Tasha. Alexy has told no one as far as I know. Other than that, few people even know that Alexy and I met him at all, much less that I had a thing with him. Alexy's mom had met him at the concert, and it turns out that she heard I was texting him a lot, but still. That's CRAZY.
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Posted: Mon Nov 05, 2007 8:54 pm
Mood: Bitchy but Composed
Song: Irvine (Kelly Clarkson)
indentOh my Gooooood. So So So. Guess what happens Sunday? Well I go to church and all and that's normal. I go home and do random crap (mostly video games) until 5. Then I watch an episode of Tila Tequila with my mom, which was awkward but that actually kind of made it better in a weird way. I run over to my church small group, and me, Davy, our 25 year old leader, Davy's cousin, and some freshman I kind of know all hang out there and don't discuss much. We decide to see "Nightmare Before Christmas" in 3D at the theatre. ok. Well I'm headed there and all of a sudden this cop behinds me starts flashing his lights. I didn't do anything wrong so I'm confused and looking for a place to pull over but there is none. I didn't want to pull off in the middle of the road so I turned on my blinker to show that yeah I was pulling over but I needed a curb. Finally the cop puts on the siren so I'm like "******** it I'll park on the sidewalk a*****e". And I do. He walks up to me and is all "WHY DIDN'T YOU STOP!?!". I Try explaining how I wanted to avoid being parked in the middle of the ******** road but he was a total jackass about it so whatever. He asks for my license, only guess what? For the first time in 2 months my license is out of my car- I had left it at home by accident for less than a day. Talk about bad luck. And so I have this expired license thing that other cops could have taken with a warning but since he was all pissed off in his self-righteous rage he used it to get all the information for me and then ticketed me anyways. Well finally I'm like "so uh why am I pulled over?". Hell tells me that my muffler thing that makes my car sound louder is illegal. What the ********? Uh, I kind of bought it from the Honda dealership like this... he didn't think that was a good enough excuse and ticketed me for that. Oh, and then he tells me he's ticketing me for the seat belt. You ******** DUMBASS. Of course my ******** seat belt is off. I NEEDED TO GET s**t OUT OF THE BACK SEAT YOU p***k. GUHHHH. But yeah so he tells me some bull about how I should be thankful I was only getting a warning for not pulling over soon enough for his liking and then left me with a $383 total in tickets. ********.
indentWell I go to see the movie and start cussing up a storm and this is a church small group so they're like "o,O !" but I didn't care. I saw the movie but I was a bit distracted by the fact I owed like 4 weeks pay because of something that wasn't my fault. I go home and talk it over with my parents. Ok, so the muffler thing isn't going on my record, but we're gonna see to it that we don't have to pay for the ticket at all- we think it's a bogus charge. we're going to go to the Honda dealership and lay it on them for selling me an illegal car and they are GOING to compensate. Then we're going to court about the seatbelt because, uh, sir, it's called I pulled off the road and needed to get stuff out of the back seat- savvy? It's not like he can disprove it- both because it's true and you can't exactly prove that sort of thing regardless. I guess I'll have to eat the license ticket, but my parents feel bad about ruining my driving record by getting me a bad car so they maybe might help pay for it. I was really mad about it, but it's been easy enough to blow off because I can't see any way I'll be stuck with the fee- it not legit.
indentSo 2nd period I talk to my lab partner about my weekend- my talk with Lexy, my ticket, etc. I basically brought up the whole thing with me and Charles this summer (minus the harsher details such as intimacy and lying to my parents), so now she knows I'm gay. It felt good, her best friend is gay so she was totally unphased by it. Part of me knows I did it just to spite Lexy and her preaching about how people wouldn't like me as much if I were gay, but hey I can still sleep at night some how.
indentWork was good except for one part of the day outside. These 3 kids would just NOT stop fighting at the slide and it was driving me up the wall. Because of daylight savings it was almost pitch black by the time I left work. DEPRESSING. I HATE this darkness...
indentAnd here I am. I have some big homework that needs doing but I'm setting my alarm really early and doing it then. I'll actually be able to this time because it will be light an hour earlier- light really affects my ability to/willingness to be awake.
indent...I've also decided that I think I want to come out to my mom. I'm going to wait until after the Evanescence concert on the 21st. I want all of the stress of me trying to get a new phone and deal with tickets to be less fresh, and I want to think more about if I really should or not. It's a big step. I can't really go back to the way things are now if I do. It's not like I'll never ever be able to date women again, so much as my parents will think differently and I'll be deeper in that rut of expectations. I imagine my parents will be unhappy, but they won't be shocked and my mom has told me before that she'd love me no matter what my orientation is. So that's what's on my mind right now. Oh, and the newest episode of I Love New York sucked. Tailor Made got back in good graces, but the episode revolved around this stupid "spirit realm" stuff and Buddha came back on the show. EWWW
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Posted: Wed Nov 07, 2007 7:46 am
Mood: Refreshed
Song: Irvine (Kelly Clarkson)
indentSorry about my cussing tirade. Buh, that ticket was just so SILLY. The dealership has compensated for the part of the ticket that came from the muffler, regardless of whether or not we get it waived, and is helping us get it replaced. We're going to go to court to get the seatbelt charge removed too, so things are looking up in that regard. I was going to get a new enV phone last night, but apparently they had an inventory miscalculation so they won't be able to finish the transaction until today. Isn't that weird? There were 2 green enVs just sitting there, but she couldn't sell me either because the computer said she didn't have them. That just doesn't make sense to me.
indentI got my biology test back yesterday. I got a 58.5 out of 65, which is pretty good for that class. I felt kind of dumb because a lot of my friends did better, but the class average was a 51 so hey I can live with that. In history we had a pressure write. I got really rushed near the end and had to throw my 4th paragraph and my conclusion together, but I'm happy with how it went. It wasn't quite as objective as he's going to want, but it was a good paper in my opinion. I'm just glad it's off of my chest, I feel much better now.
indentHaha, I love this one girl Savannah at work. She's a first grader and she's lots of fun. On Monday she was like "oh is that a new belt?". It was, and she was the only person who noticed all day. Lol. Yesterday she complimented my scarf and asked to wear it because she was cold, but I declined because I was cold too xD.
indentAfter work I went to Circuit City to get my phone, but then the stock malfunction happened so I get to go back today after work. My family all met at Olive Garden for dinner afterwards (except for my sister). I had a nice enough talk with everyone, and got this delicious seafood pasta. When we got home my mom and I had a talk about random stuff. I've really gotten on closer terms with my mom this past year, so we kind of talked about that and how she's proud of me and stuff. x3 It mad me happy.
indentToday school starts at 8:30, so I've been enjoying my morning. On a random note, I've been having pretty boring dreams lately. They're right out of a dream book or something. On Friday Megan, Alexy and I literally made fun of this slut at school for 15 minutes, and so that night I had a dream about how I became good friends with her and I felt bad because I read her wrong. Then I heard Gwen gossiping about one of her close friends on Sunday, so that night I had a dream where I confronted her about what she was saying about me behind MY back. Last night I saw the myspace page of the guy Adam is going out with, and so I had a dream about how he took my spot in tech at Evergreen (like, you know, I subconciously feel he's replacing me xD). They're pretty lame.
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Posted: Sat Nov 10, 2007 10:21 am
Mood: Partied Out/Tired
Song: Let Me Love You (Mario)
indentWow. So right now Alexy is sleeping on my couch bed and Kerah is sleeping on my recliner. I had my parents' water bed but now I'm awake and on the computer in the study. My parents are out of town at one of my dad's doctor meetings in Las Vegas, so they said I couldn't make too many plans because I had to stay home with my brother. Fine, I'll invite other people over here =P ! Kerah had like 4 remixes of that Mario song playing on her iPod speaker so yeah that's why it's stuck in my head...
indentWednesday was a good enough day. After school, I left work a bit early (at 5) so I could run home and grab my brother for youth group. I then took him to Circuit City where I met up with my mom to get my phone. It is beautiful!! So like I tried writing a post in this journal from my phone but I accidentally typed my message in the wrong box. But yeah, I can do that. Amazing or what? I LOOOOVE it. Youth group was HELLA fun. There wasn't much of a message because the youth pastor just had a baby and was gone for that, but that's almost what made it so much fun for me... Instead one of the "junior pastors" (or whatever the technical term is) gave us the message. So we sing songs for about 20 minutes at the beginning like normal. Then he gives us a 5 minute thing about worshipping your hardest and we sing for 25 more minutes and do even more rocky songs that were WAY fun to do the lights for. Then he gave us the 10 minute service thing and we closed with 15 minutes of song or so. xD Vania and I were really really tired afterwards: my knees and back hurt from propping up on the chair doing lights for so long, and Vania's fingers had cramped like 4 times because she does the faster, flashier lights while I do the more powerful overtone lights. But yeah the two of us rocked hard.
indentThursday was pretty cool too. I got a bunch of papers back that I somehow didn't fail. In science, I've gotten two 1-1s on both labs that have been graded by the IB rhuberic so far- roughly about a C- in school terms. This day, though, I almost got a 3 which is 100%. I was really shocked because I thought I was going to do even worse on this one. Then in Japanese I got a bunch of homework back that I had turned in late but Sensei gave it full credit anyways; after that, Alexy, Megan, Ina, a girl named Sarah and I all did our Japanese play for the class and ours was the BEST. Finally, in math we got our tests back. I got 98 out of 100 and did the 3rd best out of two classes, and could have almost done the best if I had looked more closely at a problem. I was really proud ^^. And then I got no homework and had a normal day at work. Sweet.
indentFriday was really good except for a rough morning. I woke up at 6 instead of 5:30, which sucked because I had a large lab write-up to do for science (and I really need to do well on it because currently my biology grade is sitting at a B+). Well I start writing it but it's taking me longer than I thought. Just as I should be leaving, I decide to just hand write the conclusion 1st period. So I try saving my document and turning on my printer at the same time. BAD NEWS. I forgot that Word freezes when I do that so I lost all of my data tables and had to quick throw them back together. Oh, and then I remembered I had to take Joel to school because my parents are out of town until Sunday. I got him to school at 7:58, and I'm just like 'oh I'm gonna be laaate'. As I'm going to school, I realize my shoes don't match my outfit. Not really a big deal except that I had dressed very nicely this day and the shoes kind of killed the whole effect (Seriously, this did not ruin my day... just noting it xD). Then I also realize I forgot my retainer, which means that I am essentially missing the tooth on either side of my two front teeth. Aka BUCK TEETH. It's the first time I've done that in 2 months but I figure hey, I can look ugly once every two months. Guess not. The first thing that happens when I get to school: the year book people pull me over and say "hey can we take your picture for the 'Fads and Fashions' section of the yearbook?". OH MY GOD. It's been my whimsical goal to get in the yearbook for something cool this year, and I was like daaaaamn... wrong day. So yeah they took the picture but my smile was fugly so the picture's probably not getting put in )= ... Then I realized I'd forgotten to eat breakfast AND pack a lunch. So I had nothing but a diet Coke and a peach cup in my car.
indentAfter that my day got better. I turned in my mediocre science writeup and put it out of sight and mind so I could enjoy the rest of my classes. We had an assembly between 2nd and 3rd period for Veterans Day. It was with my science class, but a ton of them were either randomly not at school that day or in the band which had to leave to play in the assembly. So it was only 10 of us.
Now, story about this: Gwen and I are walking along with our class, and then Adam and his two friends who I kind of know start talking to us but I feel kind of stupid because I'm missing my teeth and am snarfing a jello peach cup. This is the first time we've spoken since freshman yeah so I'm thinking "great almost-first impression...". Alexy and Megan sit next to Gwen and I in the assembly, but Alexy's teacher pulls her back with her class which is lame.
So yeah, I actually had my first words with Adam in like 2 years. I don't like him so much anymore because he does have a significant other, it seems like we wouldn't be a very practical couple, and I don't want to be clingy, but it's still like... *awwhhhh*, or however you describe that. Light stomached and short of breath I guess. So yeah Alexy made him and his friends laugh before she left, and Megan knows him from her English class, so I had a few words with him. Basically discussed phones (most of us had enVs, but I have the only green one ;D) and such. But yeah, would have been nice if I had teeth. Damn, kind of superficial that I got so hung up on that, but seriously, you don't know how silly I look without my retainer o.O ...
indent5th period we had another Veteran's thing, only a smaller scale (cuz it was history and my teacher's a veteran so he invited a bunch of people over for this mass lesson thing for all of the history classes). That was ok but I almost fell asleep. Then I finished all of my math homework in class =D ! At work I brought Catchphrase, which is my favorite game ever. The kids really didn't get it at first, but once they got the jist of it they got way into it. It was funny and kept us all occupied. Loved it, the day went by sooo fast! I played Uno and Catchphrase and checked my faculty email the whole time.
indentAfter work I texted Kerah and Alexy to tell them I was off work and they could come over now, then I texted Gwen to tell her the same and called Megan but she wasn't answering. So Alexy and Kerah came over. We watched TV over my brother's shoulder and edited our myspaces together (yeah, kind of dweeby), and then Emily and her bestie Nels came over. We all talked and it was awesome. Emily apparently took in this abused dog and now Kerah wants to adopt it. She's so random, I love it... After Emily and her friend left, we all went to our separate things for a bit: I played piano, Kerah did more myspace, and Alexy watched TV with Joel. We decided to get together and do stuff, which pretty much meant dancing. Kerah and I kept fighting over dock priveledges for the iHome thing, but she won out after I played too much Britney Spears xD. Alexy never dances with us but it's not awkward for some reason. So yeah Alexy took videos of us and and I feel really lame now. I cooked us some mini eggrolls and took out these cookies and we talked a bit while we ate, and drank a bunch of diet soda. Then we decided to play Strip Mario Kart for the first time in ever. Haha, we are COOL. Kerah had like no layers on so we said her hair ties counted as pieces of clothing. Basically, we did 3 person racing and the loser had to take off a piece of clothing. Alexy's the worst driver among us, but that just means she stayed in the back and itemed us to death. I mean, we're all in the same ballpark skill-wise, but with large enough gaps to make these patterns noteable. I'd be in first the whole time until the last lap where I got mauled with items, then Kerah and I would fight to not get last. It pissed me off to a degree. So yeah, by the end I was down to my boxers, Kerah was down to her panties (no bra o.O ...), and Alexy still had her underwear, jeans, and tank top on. I lost this time though because I refused to take off my boxers. Well, Lexy lost last time so she deserved a win I guess. Then we played some Smash Bros and had our phones read texts out loud to us, which is actually a lot funnier than it sounds (we did it at Megan's house last week as well, with both Texts and Microsoft Sam). And then we went to bed.
indentWell now it's morning. Kerah has to leave for a school retreat thing in about an hour and a half, and Megan and Gwen should be able to come over today. Kerah and Alexy have both been up and talking for about 10 minutes so yeah I'll get off.
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Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2007 9:22 pm
Mood: Appreciated =3
Song: Meaning of Birth ('Tales of the Abyss' Soundtrack)
indentThis weekend was amazing. After I got off the computer yesterday, Kerah, Alexy, and I all chatted a bit before Kerah left. Alexy had to leave an hour later to take her brothers to her cousin's house, so I was home by myself for about 3 hours. Alexy came back at 3:30, but I was playing Tales of the Abyss which doesn't hold too much interest for her because she hasn't played the beginning. Basically, for the next 2 1/2 hours I played more videogames while she did stuff on my computer. It wasn't awkward though, I mean, we split up often enough at each others' houses. Why force company if we're having fun doing our separate things. Megan was at a birthday party that I was supposed to pick her up from at 6 to take her to my house, but she never called me to give directions so we were really confused. Finally she just showed up at my door at 7:30, which worked well enough at the end. She brought over her modded X-Box with all of the emulators on it, so she and Lexy set that up. Gwen called me at 8 and told me that she didn't have a ride to my house because her best friend had a play that got out at midnight, so I went out there and picked her up. She brought cake mix and iPod speakers (to replace the ones Kerah took home with her), so the two of us made cupcakes while Alexy and Megan played videogames. My kitchen and family room aren't really separated so the four of us could still talk easily enough together. It was really really fun! Gwen couldn't spend the night, so at 12:30 I took her home. I was stuck behind this car doing 35 on a 50mph road, so as he's branching off a different way on the road I try to make a statement by flying past him- only he crossed the double white line in front of me and almost hit me. Apparently the car was totally lost or something but I had no sympathy by that point. Guh it was frustrating. I got home at exactly 1 (yay curfew); Alexy and I stayed up playing Super Mario World on the X-Box for an hour, and then we went to bed.
indentWe woke up, and Megan made some eggs while I cooked this large pack of meatballs for us. By this point the kitchen was pretty dirty (we had also made tator tots yesterday and the cupcake pans were dirty and our dishes were piling up), so Alexy and I spent about 20 minutes just fixing up the house. We left the house with my brother at 11:30 for church, which went normally enough. After church Megan went home, but Vania had called the other day wanting to hang out so I took her and her sister Alethea home with me. Alexy showed up 5 minutes later, and my friend Davy was able to come for about 4 hours as well. Alethea, Vania, and I all played Tales of the Abyss while Alexy and Davy worked on Davy's myspace page and made ringtones on this awesome phonezoo site. I feel kind of lame for getting all of my friends into myspace again, but... it's actually a nice way to keep in touch. Not gonna lie... So yeah, Davy leaves at 5, and the rest of us do random stuff and eat more random food (like fishsticks, tator tots, and cupcakes) for a bit. We then put in the "Duck Tales" movie (the one with the genie) and we worked on a 1000 piece puzzle of Nueschwanstein while watching it. Alexy had to leave at 8 to pick up her brothers, and Alethea and Vania's dad came about half an hour after. And here I am, finally home alone.
indentMy weekend has been unproductive so far, but it's also been very satisfying. It was touching that so many people wanted to hang out with me this weekend: I didn't instigate plans with anyone except Alexy- everyone else asked if they could hang out with me. It sounds selfish, but it's nice to have your confidence boosted every now and then. Tomorrow I have the Kelly Clarkson concert, but I'm going to try writing an essay on Macbeth and studying for a science test as well.
indentAs a closer, I have had a large Ina bashing week. She's kind of my friend, but she's been bothering me a lot lately. Alexy tenatively started complaining about Ina at Megan's house last weekend, and we were shocked to find we had the same issues with her: she's selfish, rude, noticeably more earnest with her insults than either of us, and STEALS YOUR FOOD. This sounds very petty, but that last one really bothers both of us. She always has these amazing lunches, but feels the need to take the good things from other people's lunches as well. Like, literally go into your backpack, take out your lunch, and eat the best thing in there. Who does that? I'm almost laughing at myself for complaining so earnestly about this, but you'd have to experience it to understand. On Monday I told Gwen that Alexy and I were kind of mad at Ina, and she then spent almost 2 minutes talking about how Ina's judgemental, clueless, and stole someone's entire McDonald's meal the other day. This weekend, Megan brings up how Ina had been bothering her recently, and my sister even complained about her from when she did percussion with her 2 years ago. This is like, 5 people complaining about the same things. I feel bad talking about her and stuff, but for some reason everyone's pent up anger towards her is starting to come out. Alexy and I are really her only close friends because other people find too many problems with her: I've had people ask me if she's a pity friend. I just want to be like "Hey, there's definitely some good in you, but you seriously need to clean up your act". Something's bound to break, I wonder how this will all end up. Oh the drama =/ .
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Posted: Thu Nov 15, 2007 8:05 pm
Mood: Tired/ Down to Earth
Song: Shh (Frou Frou)
indentHaven't really been on the computer recently... been sleeeeping my life away lately xP !
indentMonday we had a large windstorm, and a lot of the city lost power. Alexy's home and cell phones were dead, so I couldn't get a hold of her to see if she could still go with me to the concert. I just sort of built a puzzle and listened to my iPod speakers with battery power until noon, when I ran over to an Evergreen teacher's house which still had power. It was kind of awkward because I just went there for a shower, but whatever. Worked well enough. When I got home Alexy texted me on her brother's phone to say that she could still pick me up at 1:45, so that was good. We just sort of talked and didn't talk on the drive to Seattle while listening to Kelly Clarkson CDs, and it was nice enough. I agree with Mia from "Pulp Fiction": you know you're really comfortable with a person if you don't feel like you have to make small talk and you can just sit there in silence comfortably. Yeah we're weird that way sometimes. Well we got to Seattle and went to this store called Owijimara, which is a giant Japanese supermarket. We looked around and saw some weird stuff (a 150lb fish, fish heads for $.99 a pound, shrines, etc), and I left with this awesome Tales of Symphonia anthology (too bad I can't read it so well xP). At least the 2 Fruits Basket books I got were in English.
indentAfter that we went to the Spaghetti factory which is always delicious. That was fun, I love Lexy's family! It just got awkward at one point because her dad and brother are always harping on her about getting a job, getting good grades, etc, and they kept comparing her to me. Like, "Luke has a 3.97 GPA and a solid job etc etc and you don't why not?". That sucked... the concert was AMAZING though! Kelly Clarkson is SUCH a talented singer. We got there just as the line was going in. It was at the Paramount Theatre because she couldn't sell out the Key Arena, which SUUUUCKED because that meant no moshpit. Alexy and I went straight to the T-shirt stand, but the guy there was a jackass. I mean, we were getting $40 shirts and he wouldn't even let us try them on first. As a result, mine's kind of small and I might not even be able to wear it if it shrinks in the wash. b***h. But the shirt is cool regardless, I must say... The opening guy was John [something] with a CD called "Indiana", and he was pleasant enough to listen to but not that amazing. When Kelly came on it was pretty spectacular. She played all of my favorite songs first xD ! She opened with One Minute, went to Behind These Hazel Eyes, then to Gone, then Never Again, then Maybe. Gone is one of my top 10 favorite songs of all time, Maybe is up there, and Behind These Hazel Eyes is the first Kelly Clarkson song I fell in love with; the other two are just other amazing songs of hers. So yeah, after that I was like "why should I stay here?" xD. The rest was great as well, all of the songs she played were good ones except for Sober and Be Still. I can live with only 2 bad ones =D ! One song, Chivas, actually had a pretty good backstory and made the whole audience sort of seem like a family in a weird way, and I love it more now. Yes, a very good concert, it would have been my favorite if it had a moshpit.
indentTuesday I was shot from Kelly Clarkson. I got 7 hours of sleep, but I was just tired. We got a bunch of homework but I just walked through the motions. Science killed whatever concious time I had that day. I took a test that I feel like I bombed even though I studied like crazy, the teacher said I turned in a paper late even though I didn't, and from what he was saying about our lab write ups, I could gather that I flunked that too. So yeah, I was pissed off the rest of the school day and bought some candy from the dollar store before work to make up for it. I went home and watched the new episode of "I Love New York", which got me in a good mood for like 5 minutes because Tailor Made is back in New York's good graces. Then my mom came in and was like "uh yeah instead of getting to school at 8:30 tomorrow you're taking in Joel to his piano lessons at 7 and then dropping off your car at the dealership to get the muffler fixed". I was really fed up at that point and went to bed at 7:30 =x .
indentMy dad agreed to take Joel in to piano lessons under the condition I pick him up at 7:30, so I slept until 6:50. That's a LOT of sleep. I treated Joel kind of badly which I regret because it's not like this was his fault or anything, and then I went to the car dealership to drop off my car. I then took my mom's '06 Civic to school, and spent the 20 remaining minutes throwing together a 5 paragraph essay for English. Thankfully it was only a rough draft so it's mainly just getting graded for existing... I kind of floated through this day too. I started out really energetic, but by 5th period I was tired again. Always tired... I went to work, then took Beth to the mall before church. We met up with Alexy and our kind-of friend Caleb and we helped Beth get some stockings. I got this adorable Pikachu shirt for $20, but was once again disappointed by Buckle's sizing. I would actually be an avid buyer there if they stocked sizes other than FAT. My God! I'm not even asking for smalls, just give me some friggin mediums and regulars! At church I showed Alethea and Vania my Tales of Symphonia Anthology (as they are my fan buddies for the Tales series), and we fawned over the pictures and what text Alethea and I could translate. Afterwards I went home, watched some TV over my brother's shoulder, crammed in 45 minutes of piano practice, read some Fruits Basket, and went to bed.
indentYou'd think I'd be all refreshed from sleeping 12 hours Tuesday night and 8 hours last night, but I'm not. I woke up at 6:40, which is WAY late because I had a piano lesson at 7. I threw on some clothes, packed a lunch, and ran out the door. No breakfast and no shower- EW. I got to the lesson 8 minutes late, and my teacher was further upset because I didn't do so much practicing this week. School went by easily enough until the second half of the day. 5th period we got to pick topics for a debate thing, and I got a boring one. The person right before me chose legalization of Marijuana, which I REALLY wanted because it's actually interesting and my sister wrote a paper on it when she took that class. But no, right after her I got called and I got stuck with the Loving-Virginia case. Which isn't even a debate anymore because it was overturned in 1963 and it's now illegal to press one way on the issue. Dammit. Then in math we had this REALLY confusing thing on logarithms. I sort of bluffed my way through the natural logs, es, and simple logs, but today we did this really confusing thing and I crashed. I turned in a half finished assignment and didn't even try finishing it. I was not in a good mood. I went to work, which went smooth enough I guess. I was too moody and tired to punish anyone so I just kind of layed on 4 lined up chairs and quoted Shrek as we watched it. Not professional, I guess, but eh, we all have our down days. I came home, updated my myspace profile (and Davy's, lol), and now it's now.
indentMore than anything, I've had a "down to earth" day. Hey you. You're not as popular as you think you are. Everything doesn't revolve around you. Those nice girls 6th period, those kids at lunch, Adam 2 period- NONE of them are watching you, and why should they be? They have no real reason to care that you're there, not in a mean way so much as what reason would they have to feel otherwise? Who cares what people think about you, if you have to impress them they aren't worth it. Who are your real friends? Ina's not THAT bad, don't lose her as a friend altogether, and maybe Japanese class doesn't consider you as vital to the class persona as you once felt. Yeah, those were a lot of my thoughts today. Kind of sad I guess, but I tend to think what I want to believe and it's something that should change.
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Posted: Sun Nov 18, 2007 10:12 pm
Mood: Hopeful
Song: Less Than A Pearl (Enya)
indentI spent my weekend recooperating from whatever it was that was making me so tired all week. I got virtually nothing productive done as a result, but I guess it was worth it; gave me the oomph to get through the next 3 days.
indentFriday went by quickly enough. Did random things through the school day, and somehow managed to go home after work with no plans... The text message conversation I always have with Alexy at about 5 PM Friday just consisted on plans to get her invited to our kind-of-friend's birthday party on Saturday and a fallout of plans to go to the mall that night. When I got home I went on Skyward, which is this website our school uses to post comprehensive gradebooks. Basically, every teacher uses the Skyward program to do their grading, and you can look at them with an account. I finally got mine activated and this was my first time looking at it. I wasn't surprised by it: IB English, Weight Training, IB Japanese 3, and IB Precalculus were all really solid As, IB History was a weak A, and IB Biology was a B+. Haha, A- is my top goal for that class, and even that's looking pretty unlikely. This could be my lowest grade yet for highschool =x.
Anyways. I was tired from school and was looking forward to staying home, but then my mom told me that she wanted me to take my brother out to do something fun. I quote: "Just try to do something fun with him. This is between you and me, but that boy really needs a life- I'm serious. Please get him out of the house." I would have been like "saaad" if it weren't true. So, I start making plans to taken him with me to hang out with Alexy and her brother. Our brothers are in the same class and have the same interests, but for some reason they don't like each other... The game plan was to take my brother to the Dollar Tree to get him some candy for the movie, then meet up with Alexy and her brother at the mall at 7, and then hang around there until 9 when we'd go to see Beowulf. Well, guess what? Neither of our brothers wanted to go. I was like "Say WHAT?". When I was his age, I looked forward to hanging out with my sister. I friggin' offered to buy him candy AND a movie, and to hang out with him with my friend, and he declined. My God. My mom was really disappointed with Joel when she found out he didn't go with me, but it instigated plans with Alexy. I went to mall with her, and we shopped for a bit. I wanted a new pair of form fitting light jeans, so we looked around. Well, in PacSun they had this killer deal on jeans- but none of them were light. I picked up two dark pairs, one with a slight tint and a one black/grey. Together, only $55. And they were nice. Well, I also noticed this amazing pair of checkered slip-on shoes at the back of the store for $40 so I got those too. Before I bought all that, the clerk was like "Well we're doing this promotional thing and for every $50 you spend you get $25 off the next $50 you spend here. If you grab something for $5, you get another coupon so you can get $100 worth of stuff for $50 next time you come here". Sounded good to me, so I bought a pair of black and green socks. It turns out those stupid coupons expire December 15, and I can't imagine finding another $100 worth of merchandise I really want there in that timespan. I gave Alexy the coupons for when she goes there with her mom.
indentWe still had a decent amount of time after that, so we ran to McDonald's and the Dollar Tree. I got two double cheeseburgers and some Junior mints, she got Mcnuggets and Milk Duds. We snuck in the candy along with two cans of Diet Coke from my garage into the movie. OMG. Beowulf was the WORST movie I've ever seen in theatres. Seriously. I was all laying across 3 seats and Alexy had her feet propped up on 2 chairs in front of us and it was all we could do not to fall asleep. DOOON'T SEEE IT. PLEASE. It was so bad we couldn't even make it funny by mocking it.
indentSaturday I played Tales of the Abyss and then went to my kind-of-friend Stephanie's birthday party at 1. I feel I should explain why she's a kind-of friend... She's nice enough and means well, but she's really weird. Not the endearing weird, the creepy weird. She's obsessed with online internet communities, writes emo poetry, has been semi-suicidal for years, takes very creepy photoshoots with her friends, is a furry, is a pansexual wiccan, etc. Not all of those are inherently bad traits I suppose, but the whole package together is very... offputting. Like, I really really try not to be prejudice towards her and stuff, but her creepier traits make it hard. She's had a borderline stalker-ish crush on me for about a year, and that doesn't help. No one else showed up until 3, so it was an awkward 2 hours. It wasn't all that bad because as I've said she's a nice person, but I was relieved when her best friend appeared. Her best friend is a lot like her, but with two of them there I felt less singled out and could be more open with them. Another one of her friends came over at 3:30, and then I was finally myself; Stephanie could tell and was happy about it. I'm awkward with a lot of people in one on one situations (even Megan sometimes), but once you throw in a random person or two I'm way more comfortable. Don't know why. I brought up Alexy a few times in an off-hand manner, and finally at 4 Stephanie says something about how she had told our friend Dan to invite her. Yeah, I had my cell phone out in moments; Alexy was over by 4:30. Then it got a lot better. Dan and his girlfriend Julia came over at 6, and that was when things got very fun. Dan is also quite odd, but in a more endearing and talented way, and his girlfriend is a lot like him. I've always thought that Julia hates me even though I like her, and apparently she's always thought along the same lines about me. We got that squared up and the remainder of the party was very fun. Pretty much just watched TV, ate CRAPLOADS of junkfood, played Boggle, and watched Tokyo Drift and Blazing Saddles.
indentToday I played Tales of the Abyss, went to church (which was PACKED because 29 people were getting baptized and all of their friends came to watch), then went home and played more Tales of the Abyss. I practiced my piano at 8 because I have my group lesson tomorrow at 6. I think this song will go a lot better than the last one I played, but I still think it will be rather flawed. Which is sad, because if I had practiced more this week I could have had it down pat by now. I've just been so tired all week... I think I might get that looked into again. Last year I got tested for Anemia and a few other things because I was always tired, but they told me I was medically sound and just needed more sleep. Well, I've been getting more than enough sleep this year and I'm still tired a lot. What I have noticed is that I wake up in the middle of the night a lot. Like last night, for example: I was in bed at 10 PM, woke up at 3 AM, woke up again at 6 AM, and finally got out of bed at 10 AM. I was back asleep within 10 minutes those two random times I woke up, but I still didn't feel like I got all that much sleep. I think I'm going to mention that when I go in and see if it's some sort of restlessness or whatever.
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Posted: Tue Nov 20, 2007 6:40 pm
Mood: Happy I Guess =)
Song: Paper Pieces (Michelle Branch)
indentI don't know why I'm in a good mood, I just am. It's partially due to the fact that break and Evanescence are tomorrow and I have two invitations to other people's Thanksgiving get-togethers and I have a family dinner at 5 on Thurday which is the first time all 5 members of my family will be together just to enjoy each other's company in ages and my science project is going way better than I thought it would and I don't have much homework. Whew. Guess I answered my question, the promise of tomorrow is making me happy xD.
indentYesterday was pretty blah. I put off all of my homework over the weekend so I could sleep and recuperate. As a result I had to rush to finish it all day. In science my teacher dropped a bomb about how this lab planning thing was tomorrow. We basically have to plan and perform an IB assessable lab, with the only guideline being that we use these aquatic plants and measure oxygen to show/measure photosynthesis. How the hell do you measure oxygen...? So yeah that really sucked. When I got home I caught up on some more homework and then watched "I Love New York". I was 90% sure Pretty was going home before I even watched the episode, so I wasn't surprised when he left: I was just surprised at how LAMELY he left. My goodness, the eliminations were pretty pathetic. "Uh yeah guys, since Pretty ran off for NO REASON, I guess all of you can keep your chains... well catch ya next episode, guys!"
indentThis morning I was really freaked out about that science lab because Gwen and I had nothing planned except for this horrible lab Gwen got off of Yahoo Answers, and I was NOT looking forward to school. After almost falling asleep in English, I went to science expecting the worst. I made some changes to her lab based on research I had done that morning, and we actually had something solid planned in 5 minutes. In the end our lab sucked, produced minimal results, and didn't prove much at all, but it was WAAAY better than I expected. Hey, at least we have SOME results to record, skew, make up, and otherwise bullshit; plus it will give us plenty of suggestions for improvement to put in our conclusions xD. The rest of the day got progressively better as all of my classes went very smoothly. At work I watched "Shrek the 3rd", which was actually a lot funnier than what I expected based on everyone else's reviews on it. We already watched the first half yesterday, but we started it from the beginning again for some reason anyways... it wasn't anywhere near as good as the other two, but it had its perks.
There was some amazing chicken when I got home, and now I have to write 3 short story "family memoir" things for English. I guess it's supposed to be pretty big, but creative writing is really easy for me and I have a 99% in that class anyways so I'm not stressing about it. Yep, I'm just looking forward to tomorrow.
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Posted: Thu Nov 22, 2007 9:51 pm
Mood: Amazing
Song: My World (Sick Puppies)
indentHappy Thanksgiving =D ! It really has been an amazing break so far. Sorry this entry is so so long, but I'm recording the details of my concert experience. Just warning you.
indentYesterday was one of the best days of my life. First thing I did was wake up and start working on this creative writing assignment for 1st period. I finished it later than I thought I would, so I got to school 10 minutes late. But I didn't really care ;o ! Basically I listened to other people read their creative writing things and I presented a story about my average Christmas vacation with relatives. Next was science. I can't really explain this period in writing, but it was hilarious and completely irrational. Basically we started watching this video, but the teacher kept muting it to show us random things on his projector screen: he spent 4 minutes showing us Apple Cup jokes, resumed the video, spent 3 minutes showing us Apple Cup results for the past 100 years, resumed the video, spent 5 minutes explaining his college transcript in depth, then finally stuck with the movie. I barely recall what it was about- plasmolysis I think xD? Yeah... the girl behind me brought in this barbie torso and Gwen spent like a minute trying to pry out a note jammed in its stomach- with knitting needles. Then she and this crazy girl Emily M. spent like 30 minutes trying to knit a barbie scarf for the torso but Emily kept messing it up and she was going crazy and virtually attacking Gwen for not fixing it and then Gwen gave the girl with the barbie a pair of gloves and Emily got really upset that she didn't get the gloves even though Gwen offered them to her like 5 times. It was hilarious because none of it made sense xD! I was all like "wow, I never thought I'd see any of this in my life...".
indentJapanese went normally enough, but then in Weight training we ran the pacer. My PE teacher was kind of surprised that I only ran 70 pacer laps, but I was saving energy for the Evanescence moshpit... lol. After every pacer everyone's supposed to play basketball, but this time Heather asked the TA for a volleyball. So there were 3 PE classes all playing with basketballs in this small gym, except for me, Heather, and 3 other people from the other classes: we were in a volleyball circle xD! Heather and this one girl kept hitting the ball really far away by accident and everyone was looking at us like we were crazy. Haha. Fun times.
indentDuring lunch, two of the girls I eat near started playing recorders. Just playing recorders, in the hallway... I was embarrassed, but I couldn't help cracking up because it was just so "uh, ...wtf?". In History we played this trivia game and I was the only person in my group who knew that Scott Joplin wrote Maple Leaf Rag and The Entertainer, and I was the only person 100% sure that Alaska has more coastline than any other state. I felt smart until I got my 5 page essay back which was a 12/20 on the IB scale... xP. Somehow I still have an A in that class. In math I completely blew off my homework, but go figure he didn't collect it until the end of class. So I got it finished =)
indentThere was no work since Evergreen had a vacation half day, so I went straight home to change into concert clothes and eat some toast. I talked to my sister for a bit because she was there doing laundry, and then I went to Heather's house for the concert. Her, Alexy, Tasha, and I all met up there to go see Evanescence! Heather's sister drove us up there. It was a fun enough drive. When we got to the theatre, there was a MASSIVE line and we were really downcast because we figured we'd get a bad spot in the moshpit- if we were even in it (our tickets had seat numbers even though they said GA. Emily told me it was perfectly normal, but the Fall Out Boy tickets didn't have seat #s so I was nervous). Well, we went in and Alexy and I got the same T-shirt AGAIN (my God, we SERIOUSLY don't try, we just both have amazing taste), and then we went in to the theatre.
indentWow. Just wow. They didn't even check for mosh tickets, apparently everyone had general admission. For some reason, though, a bunch of people were in these theatre seats in the back and only a small moshpit was formed. When we got to the back of what had formed, we were already as close to the stage as Alexy and I got at Fall Out Boy (partially because Fall Out Boy had the barrier placed farther away from the stage, but still- BIG difference in placement). The four of us just sat down on the floor talking about random crap for an hour until the concert started. The first opening band, Julien K, was pretty lame: just what we expected, an underground emo/goth band with minimal talent. Initially Alexy and I were 5 people behind the rail, with neither of us seeming to make any headway forward; our goal was to finally rail it at a concert, but it was starting to seem unlikely. Well, through the course of this band and the next band, I slowly made my way up: I'd put my shoulder at an angle and spend about 5 minutes inching my way forward until I had subtlely passed the person in front of me, and if someone pushed me forward I'd all play victim- but keep my place where I had been pushed forward ;D ! Basically, I was at the rail halfway through the second opening band and made room for Alexy right before they got offstage. Tasha and Heather never made the rail, but they were RIGHT behind us, so close enough; this was much better than we expected from them anyways, considering it was a first concert experience for both of them. The second band was actually really good. The Sick Puppies. We were very impressed: they had good music, they were funny, had good personality, and were more punk than gothic. In the middle of their performance, they did a short rift from "Stockholm Syndrome" by Muse (one of my top 10 favorite songs ever), and then played a twisted version of "Say My Name" by Destiny's Child, which was funny but good at the same time. We got our picture with the band after the concert and Heather bought their CD and got the band members to sign it! Amazing. Anyways, back to the concert.
indentSo yeah, Alexy and I are all sitting at the rail WAY happy with ourselves. Honestly, I had made all of the real effort to get up there and made most of Alexy's openings in the first place, but hey, that's what friends are for <3. The guy next to Alexy was this 40-some year old balding creeper who was obsessed with Amy Lee... like, stalkerishly so... The girl next to me was ok for the most part. She smelled strongly of marijuana (to the point where I almost gagged when I first turned towards her), but at least she didn't appear intoxicated. The only completely bitchy thing she did was try to shove me off of the rail so that her friend could get up. Alexy was literally on the right corner of the railing of center stage and I was right next to her at an angle, so the girl was planning to push me off. Pshaw, yeah right, b***h. This is my favorite band of all time. Try again. I deadlocked my arm on a bar so she couldn't even get me to budge >:3 !
indentThe moshpit was really weak... I mean, come on: Alexy and I railed it in no time and we didn't even do any outright shoving xD! Heather's not even a big Evanescence fan (she liked both opening bands more than them), and she was still farther up than all of the hard core emo kids with chains and studded belts and mohawks and gross eyeliner. Guess those kids weren't as tough as we thought. It was VERY comfortable compared to Fall Out Boy! Since we were at the front, we had a nice breeze to keep us at a perfect temperature; we had the rail to hold on to and people on only 3 sides, so we barely got shoved at all; the people were really complacent and no one was singing obnoxiously loud (except me! haha... I'm not kidding x3!). Cameras weren't allowed, which was nice because it meant no flash, but lame because it meant I couldn't take pictures. More accurately, I wasn't ALLOWED to take pictures >;D . One of the guards got mad at me and kept watching me, because he'd see me take it out quickly and put it away quickly, but never actually bring it up for a picture (aka can't bust me). Near the end he finally caught me and freaking jogged over because he was so excited to catch me. Whatever, he just gave me a stern look and told me to stop. I wasn't using flash so I don't see what the big deal is. I did take a decent amount of pictures with both my camera and phone, but only a few turned out well.
indentWell, Back to the concert. Amy came out and I was like "omg... she is soooo close to me!". Not in a stalker-ish way, I was just very impressed with my view. She opened up with "Lose Control", which is kind of 'meh' in my opinion, but she played all of my favorites from "Fallen" and "The Open Door", so I couldn't have been much happier with the song selections. Throughout, they played: Sweet Sacrifice, Call Me When You're Sober, Weight of the World, Lithium, Lacrymosa, The Only One, All That I'm Living For, Bring Me to Life, My Immortal, Haunted, Imaginary, Missing, and Whisper. At one point the piano came out and she said she was going to play an older song most people don't know, which made me excited because many of my favorite Evanescence songs are ballads from their ancient EPs no one has heard of; however, it just turned out to be "Understanding", which is actually my least favorite song by them. "Good Enough" was the one that moved me the most at the concert, because she played it so soulfully and it's such a pretty song. They played "Fallen" halfway through, which made me ecstatic because it is my favorite song EVER. I took a partial recording of it on my phone <3. Near the end I was afraid they weren't going to play my 2nd favorite song on their new CD, but they closed with it- "Your Star". Wooow... It was the PERFECT concert. PERFECT.
indentAfter the concert Alexy's mom and stepdad drove us all home. We were famished: I hadn't eaten since 3 and Alexy since lunch, and it was past midnight. We buzzed through McDonald's and I got a double cheeseburger and a diet coke. When we got back to Heather's house it was 1:03, past curfew, so I spent the night. The next morning I left at 9:40 which I felt kind of bad about because she had hoped I'd stay for Thanksgiving dinner with them all week. I still feel bad about it, but I wanted to hang out with Alexy's family... =x . I went home, showered and talked to my mom, then went to Alexy's house to follow her to her cousin's house. I know her cousin kind of well because I do enough stuff with her extended family, so it was fun enough. Her family is fun, and I enjoyed the meal. I went back home, napped for 1 1/2 hours, then ate another thanksgiving dinner with my family and Emily's boyfriend and bestfriend- Rand and Nels Whipple, respectively. Just as a random thing, I found it kind of funny in a sad way that 2 of the 7 people there were pretty much gay and my parents had no idea. After eating, we played a few games of catchphrase. It was Emily, Rand, and Nels versus me, my dad, and my mom and Joel switching out. We won 2 games and they won one. For some reason many of my clues were emo, deathly, and dark, and while they worked well enough my sister was laughing at me by the end of it xD. I cut my hair, and did a nice job if I may say so myself, and now I'm just sitting here being thankful for what an amazing past few days I've had.
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Posted: Mon Nov 26, 2007 8:38 pm
Mood: Lazy
Song: Clubbed To Death (Matrix Soundtrack)
indentBuh. I knew I would pay for not doing my homework over the weekend Dx ... meh whatever.
indentFriday I stayed at home. Played Tales of the Abyss, ate leftovers, posted myspace pictures, and similarly menial things I wanted done. At 5 my mom brought home 2 movies from Blockbuster, "BeetleJuice" and "The Fugitive". Both were pretty good; Beetlejuice was dark but cheery, classic Tim Burton, and The Fugitive was pretty good (albeit really implausible at times).
indentSaturday I played a bit more Tales of the Abyss, printed out sheet music for "Good Enough" by Evanescence, and started learning that. At 1:30 I left for Megan's house. It was slightly awkward at first because it was just two of Megan's school friends I didn't really know. It got better as the hours went by and I got to know them better. We watched "The Matrix: Reloaded", which was good because I haven't seen it in ever, and we played a lot of Halo. Or, I guess I mostly watched and did other things. One of the friends left at about 6, and Megan and her other friend Katie continued with their games until 7 when Alexy came. The four of us played Halo together which sucked. Megan is really vicious and ungracious with that game. She's better than us and lets us know it verbally as well. She and Alexy duked it out for first, I survived and found hiding spots (killing any who ventured near me), and Katie was fish food for the cheap weapons the other two had. Not much fun. Then we went up to Megan's amazing spare room. Alexy started venting about a few people she didn't like, as that's apparently what we do late at night in Megan's spare room now, and I said some choice words about 2 people as well. Then Megan and Katie got out of control. They just started going off on all of these people Alexy and I don't really know or just don't think are that bad. They're both funny so it was enjoyable in a sick way, but after a while Alexy and I just fell asleep and left them to stew about the swim team.
indentIn the morning we had some organic pancakes, and Katie and I were finally left to play co-op on Halo by ourselves. I'm capable enough at that game, but Katie is horrible, so we just had fun trying to pass legendary. I left for church at 11:30, where Vania suggested that she and Alethea come to my house after service. Sure. Well, I drop Vania off at the theatre to watch a movie, go home and shower, clean my room, play piano, etc, while Alethea gets her fix of FFX. I go to pick up Vania, take her back home, and the 3 of us play Tales of the Abyss on Unkown difficulty. Damn, that thing really is hard... we fought some tougher map enemies and it took us 10 minutes to beat them. Not even a boss... crazy! Well Their mom came to pick them up at 7:30 and dropped off some pho for me. YUM YUM YUM! I was in heaven. She dropped off 3 servings so I still have two more left! <333 After they left, my family sans Emily did our yearly Christmas tree decorating thing. It's a borderline sacred thing for me because it's so nostalgic in a good way, but my brother ruined it this year. He's changed... he's always been you're annoying little brother, but now he's all in this quiet, awkward, reserved, mumbling, "it's cool to act like I don't care about anything" phase. It drove me up the wall!! He was complaining about the music we listen to every year and suggested we play his Linkin Park CD. He dropped a few ornaments with strong sentimental value and didn't even care that they almost broke. He whined about all of the ornaments with pictures of him on them. He was... guh. It was just really frustrating and took some of it away from me.
indentToday I paid for not doing any homework over the weekend. I have quite a bit of it to do, and had to turn in an incomplete math assignment. I haven't done any yet except my math. I hate work, I'm getting really lazy about it xD . At work we watched the Cat in the Hat, which had some funny parts but overall was just rediculous. It was a good filler movie to watch while I was braindead. I watched the new episode of "I Love New York" today. Yay! I liked it, it wasn't funny so much as it developed each contestant as more of a person and cleared up some questions about people. Tailor Made stayed again <3, and while the others still don't like him much they tolerate him now because he's not being a sneak anymore. UGGH! I cannot get over how beautiful he is! He has the prettiest face I've ever seen in my life! Haha, anyways... so yeah, Mr. Wise went home, 'bout time. Damn, it's finally down to 4 real contestants! The Entertainer, Buddha, Tailor Made, and Punk... I honestly have no idea who's going home next, much less who's winning. I haven't been this scared for Tailor made in almost a month, since this is the first time in ages that he's had real competition. It's gettin' good!
indentIna is bugging the s**t out of Alexy... I mean, she's bothering me as well and I wouldn't be too upset if she just moved away tomorrow, but I do enjoy being around her sometimes. Alexy just can't stand her anymore. Today at lunch, I was telling Alexy something really private about this lesbian who just came out of the closet and how she got in a fight with this other girl we both know, and as I'm telling the story I all of a sudden see Ina right in front of my face. I mean, no joke, right in front of me. She was seated next to me and was trying to here my story which was directed towards Alexy at my other side. He chin was literally above my shoulder and I could feel her breath. Holy ********, grow up! If I'm talking so quietly that you have to shove your ear in my face, then it's obviously something not meant for you. I was offput, but Alexy was borderline ready to cuss her out. I'm kind of scared for Ina, she's not bad enough to deserve was Alexy's going to unleash on her someday if she's not careful...
indentOtherwise life is ok. Just wish I had less homework. Travis, the first guy ever to confess feelings for me (on Gaia about a year ago), broke up with his boyfriend a couple of weeks ago and said something about old crushes flooding back to him now. I'm like 80% sure I'm one of them, because I'm sensing it from him and he sounded really hopeful when I jokingly posted a myspace comment about how sexy his new shirtless picture was. Knowing me there's a good chance I'm imagining things, but still... I don't like him back, so I hope someone else takes his interest soon.
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