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crying you're a meanie....

*grins and goes off to make a siggy* Nyohohohoho

Now now. Can't have you doing that or Merc will cry.

*glares at Baynes and Merc, her eyes resembling more like Saori's* Leave me alone.... *walks away*

Forget which day it was, but our college's bookstore was giving out Schick razors to people that came in. The guys get the manly looking one in the plastic container, all normal looking. The girls gte theirs in a black box, it pink of course, and also happens to come with a manual. And whoever wrote it was definitely deprived:
"It's large enough to maximize contact with your skin and still compact enough to reach every body part. This is one sophisticated head."
"Unlike plastic, this zinc alloy metal forms a more substantial handle for better control. And control is good, right."
"The special rubber grip gives the handle a soft and easy feel. That means in the shower, it keeps the razor right where it belongs: in your slipper hand."

They also decided they had to put in shaving patters and give them names....
The Multi-Tasker Shave aka The Fast Lane Shave....yes they mention shaving in the car in thsi one.
The Mother Earth Shave aka The Furry Enchantress Shave...the shave most girls do during the winter....
The Fifty-Fifty Shave aka The Kneed to Know Shave; from the knee down
The Bathroom Diva Shave aka The Soft-Focus Fantasy Shave; having a romantic bubble bath, just you and your shaver...(yes I paraphrased that ^^)
The Shaved to Impress Shave aka The Knock 'em Dead Shave; "Crucial for life changing events like weddings, client luncheons and all important 3rd dates"

Then they move on to their 'Lingo'
Bathroom Tinsel: ring of itty-bitty hairs and soap film left in the tub after a serious shave
Chastity Pelt: When you go without shaving intentionally before going out, so that you behave yourself
Penguin-Style: keeping your arms down and close to your body, cuz you didn't shave
Poky Little Puppy: that prickly spot you missed while shaving and can't stop petting it

If this wasn't enough they put in a freaking trouble shooting....trouble shooting a razor.....
Prob: My razor feels light a flimsy
Solu: You accidentally picked up your old razor, throw it out and use your shick
Prob: I can't stop touching my Legs
Solu: If this becomes distracting, wool mittens might provide relief
Prob: My legs are looking Hot. What's up with that
Solu: Many women notice this after using a better razor. We suggest shorter hemlines, buying thread count sheets and more flaunting of your 'stuff'

And to think someone got paid to write this stuff....
And yes I read this all out loud for my friends ^^

WHY?! whee whee whee

*turns neko and bats at the hamster ball*