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Waiting for the Moon. Critiques are appreciated. Goto Page: [] [<] 1 2

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Sane Silence

High-functioning Vampire

19,840 Points
  • Perfect Attendance 400
  • Timid 100
  • Battle: Cleric 100
PostPosted: Thu Aug 02, 2007 12:25 pm


Excellent drama and word choice... Written intelligently... Interesting plot... Wonderful! ^.^
PostPosted: Thu Aug 02, 2007 4:00 pm


heart thank you. Im glad everyone seems to like it so much. heart

Living_Black_Rose


PurpleRose006

PostPosted: Fri Aug 10, 2007 2:23 pm


excellent!!! xd
PostPosted: Sun Nov 18, 2007 3:54 pm


The doctors came and went throughout the day but the red-head in the corner never moved. Some of the doctors never saw him and those that did were surprised that they hadn’t noticed him sooner. They would offer him something to eat or drink and when they were sure he wanted nothing, they would leave with a promise to be back to check on the girl.

Around noon Jessi began having nightmares. It started with a simple twitching of the eyelids and before and hour had passed, it had escalated into screams and tears running down her face. It was expected, it was the normal reaction to an attack of this magnitude. And still, Steven sat in the small plastic chair and watched over her. Nurses and doctors just seemed to ignore the noise she was causing and stopped only to pull the door closed, hoping not to disturb the other patients. Steven understood why they did this but it didn’t change the fact that he didn’t like them ignoring her.

The boy stood and came to the bedside, dragging the chair behind him. He grabbed Jessi’s hand in a gentle but firm grip and her nightmares calmed a little. He tried not to let the noise affect him but it caused him pain to know that he was the reason this girl was suffering so much.

Her screams quieted to whimpers and she curled onto her side, pulling her hand free of his and bringing it to her chest. The back of the untied hospital gown fell open and he got a view of the creamy white skin of her back that tapered into a line of flesh going lower. He blushed slightly and turned but it wasn’t like he hadn’t seen it already. Steven stood and left the room for some air. He wandered the halls for what seemed like hours, just thinking of Rebecca.

Jessi slept for a few minutes after Steven left, but then awoke when the cold returned to her fingertips once more. She sat up and looked over to the corner where the boy had sat before she had fallen asleep. He was gone, the chair sat closer to her bed but still the boy was no where to be seen. She quickly scanned the room, her eyes coming to rest on the open door. It was okay, he had stepped out of the room for some fresh air. It was nothing. She relaxed her posture, not realizing she had tensed until she felt the muscles ease. Why she did she feel such a connection to this boy? What was it about him that drew her in?

Living_Black_Rose


Living_Black_Rose

PostPosted: Sat Feb 02, 2008 8:18 pm


heart *bump* heart
PostPosted: Fri Feb 22, 2008 2:03 pm


heart

Just thought I'd let 'cha know there's still readers about... waiting for more ... ^_^

Shinys


Living_Black_Rose

PostPosted: Fri Feb 22, 2008 2:35 pm


Ok..... I feel the pressure now....


I'll get back to work.
PostPosted: Tue Jun 10, 2008 4:14 pm


Was there something familiar from the bite he had given her? For that matter, was what he had said true about the gene not passing as easily?

The girl swung her legs over the side of the bed. She was tired of sitting in that stupid hospital bed, they were always lumpy and hard and just plain uncomfortable. She bounced for a moment, cringing at the creaking sound that the worn mattress emitted at the action, before she stood and almost immediately fell to the floor, ripping the IV and other tubes from her arms, as the heart monitor let the tell-tale squeal ring out across the room.

She glared at the offensive devise for a moment, grumbling “traitor” as it called every nurse and doctor within the closest three wings. Jessi sagged slightly, resigned to her fate of being poked and prodded some more due to her unyielding stupidity. Two nurses came into the room, almost getting stuck in the door as neither chose to give up the first spot into the room, followed by the same white haired doctor that she had woken up to. The three paused where they stood for a moment, obviously never confronted with a 16 year old who wanted to get out of bed to take a walk. Jessie didn’t lift her head. “Sorry,” she muttered sadly, “I just wanted to get up for a little while.”

She sat there for a moment or two, nurses gathering at the door to gawk at the stupidity of one small girl eager to get out of bed. Suddenly, all went quiet and when Jessi raised her head to see what the lack of commotion was all about. She was confronted with a pair of size fourteen five E nurses sneakers, attached to a pair of wide legs that seemed to go on for a mile or more as she continued to raise her eyes. It seemed like eternity had passed before her eyes hit his waist and then his chest, then onto his shoulders, a mountain of scrubs encasing the darkest man she had ever seen. Jessi tapped down the urge to call him “the jolly green giant” as he scooped her up at the risk of him getting angry and simply… dropping her. And from the height that this man was at, that would be a very bad thing.

The giant sat her back in bed and gently slid the IV back into her arm before turning on his heel and walking from the room, never saying a word.

The doctors and nurses slowly started moving back into action, muttering words of how amazing “Leslie” was and how he was the sweetest man in the place. The only conclusion that the girl could come to was that “Leslie” was the big man that just left. But that didn’t make any sense. Why would any parent give their child, a child that had to have been the equivalent of a medium sized dog at birth, a name like “Leslie”? Jessi just shrugged her shoulders and leaned back, they must have been talking about someone else. A moment or two later, Stephen came walking into room, just as the last nurse was leaving.

“What happened here?” he asked as the nurse, a pretty redhead, walked away.

“Nothing. I just wanted to get up.” Jessi said defensively, pushing away the small twinge as the boy watched the nurse saunter from the room, paying a little more attention to the way her hips swayed as he should have. When Stephen turned his face back toward her, the girl had the natural bored look back on her face “these beds are just so uncomfortable and I really wanted to move around…. I’m sure you can understand that at least.”

Stephen nodded with a chuckle. “I still made sure to wait until they said I could get up to do so.”

“What can I say? I’m spunky.”

The boy laughed at her term and the teasing grin on Jessi’s face spread a little. “Spunky huh? Like Cocker Spaniel type spunky? Or Chihuahua on speed type spunky?”

The girl busted out laughing and the boy joined in, doubling over to breathe. “Okay.” Jessi said as she slowly caught her breath. “I think we both needed that to break the tension.”

Stephen nodded and sat on the edge of the bed, pleased, though he’d never admit it, that the girl did not move away this time. She, in fact, seemed to relax a little at his nearness. Just as the room settled into a comfortable silence, the door to the room swung open and in walked the doctor that had been treating her before. Jessi instantly tensed back up. Stephen moved to the chair next to the bed as the doctor grabbed a stool on the opposite side of the room.

“Now, miss. What seems to be going on with you today?” the doctor said, speaking more to himself than to the girl. An uncaring expression adorned his face as he examined the clipboard in front of him.

She answered him anyway. “Well, Sir.” Jessi began sarcastically. “I seem to have this annoying hole in my side. Not to mention, I can barely feel my hand, although I imagine that has something to do with the fact that it was very nearly severed from my arm.” She smiled angelically, a false sweetness that spoke of the anger she really felt.

Stephen struggled to hide a chuckle as the doctor looked up at her, one eyebrow quirked questioningly. “Sarcasm Miss…” He looked down at the chart. “Messinger?”

“Always doctor.” She grinned again, barely a flashing of teeth. “Now what was it you wanted to say?”

Stephen reached out and gently took hold of her hand, lending support in the only way he knew how. “Well, I think we should have your parents present to hear this.”

“Not gonna happen, tell me what’s going on with my body.” She all but growled, her voice almost sounding hurt by his words. The boy squeezed her hand lightly, trying to calm her. She relaxed a little and sat back, still glaring at the doctor.

“I’m sorry ma’am, but our policy states that we have to have your parents present to tell you information such as this if you’re under the age of 17.” The doctor snapped the folder he had been looking at closed and stood, preparing to leave the room.

The low rumble of a growl shoved its way past the girls lips as she all but hissed. “That would be all well and good if they were still alive but they’re not. So why don’t you just give me the information I need.”

The doctor turned back to face her, eyes wide with and apologetic. “I am deeply sorry Miss, we never got record of their deaths. Normally that’s something they include in the files.”

“You probably didn’t see it because my mother isn’t actually dead. At least she isn’t as far as I know and my dad was killed by drunk driver some years ago. I’ve been on my own since then, the occasional interference of a grandparent or other relative breaking the calm I’ve created for myself. The point is, I don’t need a “guardian” present. If I’ve been on my own this long, why should have one ruin my life now?” She glared at the doctor for a moment before he sat with a small, irritated sigh.

Living_Black_Rose

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