Welcome to Gaia! ::

*trumpets sound*
AND NOW, FOR THE GREATEST MOST SUPER DUPER UBERTASTIC ENTRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





Name: El Dirty Leon Sanchez
Special Powers: Moustache of disguise, dirty finger, shanking, and working for below minimum wages.
Weapon: Knife.. Sadly on Gaia there are no knives.
Height: 5'5"
Weight: 105 LBs
Age: 40
Arch Nemesis: Generaldouchehelmet (General Dou' Helme')
Background: As a boy Sanchez had to fend for himself. His mom and dad had both left him in the hands of his grandfather to go to the U.S.A. His grandfather was a very bad man, and kicked El Sanchez onto the streets.
Stealing corn tortillas to survive for most of his teen years, he was eventually kidnapped by the U.A.P.&P.(Plumber's and Pipefitter's Union) to clean toilets in the U.S.A. Doing so gave Dirty Sanchez his name, for he cleaned the biggest of crap piles for the lowest of prices, eventually destroying the Union from the core of its septic tanks.
Beyond this, El was a normal man until the age of 25 when he had to return to Mexico to settle the score with his grandfather. This took mere minutes, for his grandfather had died, no one is quite sure how or where, leaving to Sanchez the moustache of disguise.
The moustache of disguise leaves the wearer vague in the populace's mind, so one is never quite sure of who has done what in where or when, only able to assume it was a Mexican somewhere on the border. This, of course, left Sanchez's love life cold and barren.
Hero life: Once Sanchez realized he had the power to do things without notice, he began to use it for good. Stopping bank robberies, returning babies, stealing cars, all the cliche hero stuff. Only, after he did them, people were never quite sure how.
Sanchez was able to do his job in the dark until the government came on the scene. They wondered where their 500 tons of cocaine had gone. The cocaine, of course, was needed for money making along with Wal-Mart's global economy crashing. The problem was that they only knew one thing: It was a Mexican. So it was that Generaldouchehelmet became Sanchez's archnemisis, for her helmet was able to see through bullshit, and so was able to see through the moustache of disguise.

AND

(sorry I'm not as special effects talented as karum)


Name: General Douchehelmet (Pronouced: Dou' Helme')
Special Powers: Rudeness, Brie cheese, a ridiculous accent, le helmet.
Weapon: A consistently empty wine bottle
Height: 152cm
Weight: 45kg
Age: 45
Archenemis: El Dirty Leon Sanchez
Background: Born and raised in Paris, France, Mademoiselle Douchehelmet had an easy life until she reached puberty. Mademoiselle Douchehelment, did something most girls don't, she grew a beard. However, being the French girls are just...hairy, she fit right in, until it kept growing and growing. Ashamed of this and tired of being made fun of, she moved to America. However in America she only received more criticisms and in addition to her French rudeness, she became mean and angry and drunken and did what ever any troubled person does, she joined the army. Her harsh demeanor and her unwillingness to give up led to her quick moving through the ranks and soon she was General Douchehelmet.
Hero Life: General Douchehelmet was unstoppable. She lead troops into battles and bars alike. Terrorists or tequila were no match for her. Though she was ready for retirement, General Douche Helmet was called upon for one last assignment, catch El Dirty Lean Sanchez. No one else stood a chance except for her because of one reason, le helmet, even though it was a beret and not a helmet, but hey, she's French, they haven't done things normally and why should they start now? Given to her by her grandfather, it was her most prized possession because it revealed to her things that would normally be lost not only by her drunken stupor but to the normal eye as well. It was with this helmet that she was able to go after El Dirty Leon Sanchez and his mustache of disguise.