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Summer Days

Day One

Golden, summertime
air shakes the grass' hand;
with a weak-strong grip Not sure I like weak-strong, unless you can further develop that contrast within the stanza more directly.
like wandering sunlight,
its movements sparkle
the tiny dancing verdelites. Verdelites is a fun word. heart

A wind steps in
like a lonely bachelor
and asks the jewel on a date --
hoping his sporadic sighs
won't be contagious, creating
two lonely's: bachelor and bachelorette. You already used the word lonely in this stanza, but I think I can let it slide on this one.

Day Two

Concrete sleeps, sunbathing,
as a puppy paws at the body's
flow --
examining the curves and ripples
that stream across the silver surface.

It leaps, leaving
its soon-to-be jaded sister Wait, the puppy has a sister? What? eek I'm a little lost here. The "puppy" is basically the stretch of grass at the edge of the lawn -- the pieces that sort of poke at the concrete. The "sister" is, well, the rest.
behind; as it spreads
through the sea of cracks
like a virus, the wind coughs.

Day Three

The sunshine felt like sharing
its glory with the grass sisters;
gazing at the litter of puppies
and stones, it feeds them -- causing Not sure I like the word "causing," here. Seems more like "creating" or the like should be here. I agree.
amber playmates for the dogs Do you mean dandelions? That's what I'm getting from this, but I could be wrong. I just said "dogs" because I didn't want to say "puppies" again. sweatdrop
and jewels -- so he can watch all day. The dogs seem kind of random to me, but I guess they do tend to come out in the summer... See above statement.

The sighs of the wind
were hideous beasts, Why is this past tense? Remember in the first section (i.e.: Day One) when I wrote that the wind hoped the grass wouldn't mind his sighs? wink
so he was sent away
and plotted his revenge,
madness flowing crazily Bleh. Of course madness flows crazily. Madness and craziness are synonyms, dammit! Give me something stronger. I'll look for something. 3nodding
in his mind.

Day Four

The wind orders giant clouds
to infiltrate the sunlight's
base, switching it off. Dude, this sounds like some kind of spy movie to me. XD:
It whistles for the great danes Is that what the puppies in the previous stanzas were? No. I used "great danes" as a metaphor for "big clouds" to carry over the image of a dog into this stanza.
to bark and bite at the ground,
even use the bathroom, pissing
his ex-date off. Ex-date isn't something I usually hear. Usually, it's ex-boyfriend, ex-girlfriend, or ex-lover.

Day Five

Sunshine shoos
the pesky clouds away;
mere mosquitoes
are only pests
trying to strong. Trying to strong? You mean trying to BE strong? Oops. redface

The grass stares at herself,
admiring the stylish antics
of her ex-date;
he was like a bully,
but he made her puppy
eyes sparkle and primmed
her body, ridding her
of those hideous, annoying amber
playmates. For some reason, I feel this ending is a bit too abrupt... Like something was about to happen, but it didn't. It just ends.Well, in the previous stanza, I describe that a storm is going on: barking/biting, thunder/lightning; pissing...off, raining.