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 Posted: Wed Jan 26, 2005 7:07 pm
Post people! I want to hear some jokes! scream
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Posted: Wed Jan 26, 2005 8:27 pm
WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD???
JERRY FALWELL - Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side!"
PAT BUCHANAN - To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American, the putz!
DR. SEUSS - Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!
ERNEST HEMINGWAY - To die. In the rain. Alone. Forgotten.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR. - I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question and be able to walk freely among chickens of all colors and creeds and to pray in the church of their choice. Amen, brother, oh, Amen! Hallelujah!
GRANDPA - In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
ARISTOTLE - It is the nature of chickens to cross the road, ergo, they do.
KARL MARX - It was a historical inevitability for the enslaved chickens of the world to rise up and throw off their chains to unite against their oppressors and cross the road.
SADDAM HUSSEIN - This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
RONALD REAGAN - What chicken?
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK - To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
FOX MULDER - You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?
FREUD - The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES - Microsoft has just released EChicken 2000, which will not only explore your documents, and balance your checkbook - Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of EChicken.
EINSTEIN - Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken? Think about it.
BILL CLINTON - I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken, please?
LOUIS FARRAKHAN - The road, you see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down and therefore must be made to see the error of his way.
THE BIBLE - And God spoke from the heavens and said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing in the land.
COLONEL SANDERS - I missed one? Dang!
ROBERT DE NIRO: Are you telling me the chicken crossed that road? Is that what you're telling me?
HANSIE CRONJE: What if I could guarantee that it won't get to the other side?
THE C.I.A: Who told you about the chicken? Did you see the chicken? There was no chicken. Please step into the car.
sweatdrop sweatdrop sweatdrop
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Posted: Wed Jan 26, 2005 9:46 pm
That...Is...So...AWESOME!!! whee
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Posted: Wed Jan 26, 2005 10:07 pm
Those are cute Rin. 3nodding
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Posted: Sat Jan 29, 2005 8:14 pm
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Posted: Sat Jan 29, 2005 9:22 pm
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever," -- Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.
"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff," -- Mariah Carey
"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life," -- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.
"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body," -- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.
"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country," -- Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.
"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president," -- Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.
"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it," -- A congressional candidate in Texas.
"I don't feel we did wrong in taking this great country away from them. There were great numbers of people who needed new land, and the Indians were selfishly trying to keep it for themselves." -- John Wayne
"Half this game is ninety percent mental." -- Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark
"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." -- Al Gore, Vice President
"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix." -- Dan Quayle
" It's no exaggeration to say that the undecided could go one way or another" -- George Bush, US President
"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?" -- Lee Iacocca
"I was provided with additional input that was radically different from the truth. I assisted in furthering that version," -- Colonel Oliver North, from his Iran-Contra testimony.
"The word 'genius' isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein," -- Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.
"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people." -- Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.
"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." -- Bill Clinton, President
"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur." -- Al Gore, VP
"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas." -- Keppel Enderbery
"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances." -- Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina
"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record." -- Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman
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Posted: Sun Jan 30, 2005 9:13 am
xd xd xd
"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body," -- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.
OH MY GOD HAHA!!
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Posted: Sun Jan 30, 2005 11:00 am
lmao! Those are all great. biggrin
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Posted: Sun Jan 30, 2005 1:05 pm
Who was it that thought "Hey, what if I squeeze those things coming out from underneath that cow and drink what comes out?" ? sweatdrop
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Posted: Sun Jan 30, 2005 1:12 pm
Rin-chan Who was it that thought "Hey, what if I squeeze those things coming out from underneath that cow and drink what comes out?" ? sweatdrop My Great Grandfather scream
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Posted: Sun Jan 30, 2005 1:16 pm
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Posted: Sun Jan 30, 2005 1:29 pm
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Posted: Mon Jan 31, 2005 9:20 am
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Posted: Mon Jan 31, 2005 11:56 am
More dead baby jokes!
What's the difference between a dead baby and a trash can?
I don't play football with a trash can.
What's the difference between a dead baby and a rock?
I don't eat rocks.
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Posted: Mon Jan 31, 2005 1:54 pm
terradi = Was never online.
Kimberly Daniels = Usless, hardly ever did s**t
Keakealani = Usless, Hardly ever did s**t.
Uma = Stuck up and thinks not banning will make it all better.
VTS = Stupid child who is also stuch up.
VTA = Loser who like to be a crossdresser.
Everyone else = A f** guy who says let it all out, or some ******** b***h of a chick THAT LIKES ME AROUND!
Put them all together and. . . = A bunch of monkeys wasting their time and three ******** gaia whores who get something when I changed my whole ******** self then was lied to and see them as mods! Yeah I'm saying it You have to be a girl to be a mod on gaia because there are mainly girls and afew guys and the guys are mainly yellows. . . scream stressed
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