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 Posted: Fri Dec 08, 2006 10:28 am
Dear Journal:
First of all, I want to say that "dear journal" sounds very much old-fashioned. However, this is what I've learned from my parents, who saw me as their little angel (which I am so obviously not). So, dear journal, bear with me here, because the content is definitely not your old day "I went to school and studied" kind of thing.
Anyhow. Today is just like any other day, but different. Yes, I know that's a little contradictory, but do hear me out. Today is the day I break free of my traditional family that overly spoiled me and enter a whole new adventure. Today is the day I leave my empty and cold mansion and seek warmth in a tiny condo room with fluffy animals at my feet. Today is the day I become myself, and live a life independent from others. Today is the day I enter the Kaleido Stage.
Of course, today is also the day I say good-bye to the only one family member I love. Today is the day I leave my brother's side, and bid farewell to him, knowing that I might never see him again. His gentle smiles always reminded me of those happy moments...when I sat on his lap, watching him in a dress that I thought was the most beautiful in the world. HE was the most beautiful. The warmth of his hands lingered in my heart...how cliche is that???
Call me an incest if you want. I don't mind, because my love for my brother is unlike any other loves I've given or received. He is always there for me, protecting me, laughing with me, and comforting me when I am depressed. My parents were nothing compared to him, and he was the only true guardian.
But...I'm getting a little off topic here.
Anyways, Dear Journal. Today is the day I become a member under the tent of the Kaleido stage. Of course, I was extremely excited. I get to live in a small room, but there are neighbors around me that are also members of the stage. I am sure we can become a big family under the tent...in the future that is. So far I have yet to meet anyone in particular. Although I did go to the welcoming ceremony. There was a lot of people, and I had a hard time seeing or hearing what the director was talking about. This is the moment where I wished I can be as tall...but I am not. I do get teased because of my height often, but I'd like to brush those away and show them that I am better than them in other ways.
A girl was talking about a party at the welcoming ceremony. What, a party already? That's pretty exciting. I don't get to party a lot at home other than the few times when my brother takes me to his parties with his friends. Anyways, I am definitely looking forward to it...and the girl looked nice, too. So I'm pretty sure I will have a good time there.
Ah...I think this is enough for the day. Good night, Dear Journal.
(I wonder what my brother is doing right now....)
---Lyane
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Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2007 12:16 pm
Quote: Lyane's quest is to write a small personal progress report detailing what she's done, what's she's improved on and how she did it. You are of course free to make up extra classes and practices that haven't been publicly held IC event since we can't rp out every classes attended.
First of all, I apologize for not writing for a long time. You know writing is really not my strength, and every son often I tend to forget about you over playing video games. Forgive me? (A scribble of a smiling face was drawn after this sentence)
But where do I start? Gosh, I always hate it when you wanted to say something but you don't know how to start. The feeling that you have so much to say...but you just don't know when to start it. I guess I'll pretend that you are my brother. But then again, even with my brother, I wouldn't say the first words...it's always him who starts the conversation by asking something about me.
But you cannot talk. Geez. You are just a piece of paper in my journal book, which I left collecting dust for god knows how long.
So why did I finally picked you up today? Hm...I don't know. I guess I really have nothing to do right now. Or maybe I just wanted to rant to myself, or maybe it's because...
Gahhhhh I really should stop thinking about big bro. I wonder how he's doing?
But enough about him. I mean I'm trying to pretend that you are him even though you don't talk. But anyways. Let's see....what would bid bro always say to me when we first start a conversation?
Ah yes, that annoying sentence (even though I admit that I really miss it)...
"Have you been a good lady lately, Ane?"
And I'd say "yes" even though sometimes I wasn't. But big bro would know, and he'd smile and ask me what I did and I...
I'd say...
Really... I'm growing up now, brother. I'm now living by myself, and nobody's there to spoil me anymore. This place, although so much different from my home, is a really fun place. I wish I can show you all these dazzling tools and buildings they have here. It's like a circuit! Well, it kinda IS a circuit, or a proforming school I guess. I'm still one of the newer students so I didn't really get a chance to go on to the big stage. But I can already imagine...how exciting it is to go on there, and proform, and be yourself, enjoy what you do...I guess I can understand why you want to be a female fashion model, even if you are a guy. It's what you love isn't it? Father and mother used to say that you are a shame to the family, and you are perverted and insane. But I never believed in that. And now I understand your thoughts. You are doing what you love, and that's really....really great.
For me, I believe this is what I want to do. Well I don't know, so far I'm having a great time. I had a few classes, like drama, gym class, and etc etc. And I met a lot of friends here. I mean there are weird people, people with strange features that is. I met this girl with horns and tails, it's kinda freaky. And then there's this guy who's a total flirt. I was kinda grossed out by him. But most of the people are really nice here, including the teachers. Haven't had a chance to get to know all of them yet, but I know they know what they are doing, and I'm hoping to learn...a lot from them. As for the specifics...hmmm...I don't particularly hate all the classes so far. Drama was a bit boring in my opinion. The first few classes, all we did was to listen to lectures and do some simple movements following the teacher. Gym was fun. I almost had an urge to beat up one of the guys there because he was being a total jerk with one of my friends. Good thing Shima stopped me, or else I might have gotten myself into trouble. I really liked the dance classes...well, not the classical dance, but the tap dances. They are fun, and I loved the pace at which things are going there. I liked the music too, it makes me want to sing.
Talking about singing...I felt like I haven't done that for a long time. Don't really remember when was the last time I've ever singed. You used to tell me that I had a good voice, but someone told me that I sounded like a boy. Hmph. Well I don't really mind that, maybe I can sing as a male, just like you can pose as a female. Hehe. We haven't really done any singings yet in music classes. I guess it's not one of the major class here since the place is more about acting than singing. But I'm sure I'll get to do so in the future. Can't wait for that!
Oh, and did I tell you that I walked by one of the animal cages the other day? It was by accident, I got lost in the place so I ended up wandering to one of the more advanced classes. There was this huge lion in the cage, and I was really...truly fascinated by that. There was a few people around. I supposed they were the older performers. One of them was feeding the lion. The beast looked so gentle though...I can't believe he actually tolerated a human touching him. But I guess this is what an animal tamer do. I wish I could do that someday, you know? Makes me feel all powerful. (Joking. hehe, wouldn't want my bro to be too worried.) One of the people saw me and helped me back home, but they were all nice folks. I made sure to remember that place so I can go back again if I have the chance.
I wonder now...what would you think about this, big bro? I know I'm only writing a journal, and this is not really a letter...I have sent out a few letters, but you never replied. I know you are a busy person, but hopefully my letter reached to you. I'll really write these things down in my next letter to you though! Just so you know that your little naughty sister is doing well, and she's not getting in trouble and getting pissed off by anyone else.
Say hi to your friends for me no? I miss times at the beach, maybe I should go to the beach sometimes...it's pretty close from here. Although my chest's growing up too, darn it, I don't want to wear those tight swimming suits!!! (a scribble of a crying face was drawn after the sentence)
Oh what the heck, I'm a girl, so I'm doomed.
---Lyane
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