Then they must've misunderstood because that's horribly wrong. Yaoi does not mean gay, it actually has nothing to do with actual gay manga which is called gei-comi. It isn't even an actual word but an acronym made from "
yama nashi,
ochi nashi,
imi nashi," or, 'no climax, no point, no meaning'.
I've never met anyone who uses yaoi as the term for gay. The term for gay in Japan is simply Gei, hence why the genre of manga for gay men is called as such.
Yaoi is part of the Boys' Love genre of manga that covers graphic male/male sex series.
You cannot be yaoi or do yaoi things, you read or watch yaoi and that's it.
If you need more info please look here: ^^
http://www.gaiaonline.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=2693608