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 Posted: Thu Oct 28, 2004 7:23 am
S: hooo... well, ever since the oct item was released.. i've seem to have lost my mind and am acting like i'm 3 years old towards my boyfriend.. cuz he bought a lot of letters.. and was sellling them for lots of money to buy whatever he wants. Is there really a problem in that? no.. but i felt soo jealous and envious that he had all that money and didn't share it. and i was being such totally selfish cuz i was just htinking of myself. i was acting like i was mad at him for thinking of himself; but really, my anger was from that i was thinking of only myself. crying and.. then, things seem to have escalated.. cuz... this morning, one of the people from the COT prayer group sent me a song on msn mesenger. and josh was there to see it.. he got mad and said i was a hypocrite cuz if he were to get something like that that i'd get mad.. and he's probably right.. cuz it would bother me.. which leads me into the next
I: yeah.. please pray for me.. cuz i have serious issues when it comes to josh. most of the time it's not cuz i don't think he's doing something bad... or nothing like cheating on me.. just stuff like.. i don't meet his needs and he wont' say.. so he goes to get them filled elsewhere.. and i go crazy when girls talk to him or show him their pictures... etc.. if a friend of mine calls him babe just in passing.. i like.. have to kill her and stuff. then this morning like i said i got this song. well, a while back, same person had sent me some pics of his family.. and i received them not really htinking about it and hadn't deleted them cuz i forgot about having it. then, after seeing the file transfer this morning.. josh went through everything on the pc and found those pics.. and now he's super ticked off... he swore at me this morning.. in such a way, he's never done it before. he seems really mad.. so yeah. i don't want him to feel so angry as to want to break up or anything. or maybe he'll do where he doesn't break up.. but from now on, he'd do whatever he wants cuz things i get mad about he won't feel are important because he feels i'm hypocritical and don't live up to my own expectations of him.
N: I just really need prayer. I feel so nervous right now. Josh doesn't usually get this mad at me... i've never seen him so upset. and in some ways, i wasn't sure his anger was real or not. like he is just on a crusade to make sure i'm being fair to him. he often doesn't like that i get mad about the type of things i do.. and wants to use force on me to be a different person. i don't know. i guess our relationship needs work. and i suppose it could be true what he says about me.. but sometimes when people tell you things about yourself.. sometimes you can't see it. you don't think it's true.. but then sometimes we don't always see ourselves right either... I need to really spend time in prayer and soul searching today.
G: I just give thanks to Jesus for the spiritual attacks that have been raining down on me.. I know they are a result of a lot of spiritual warfare i have been engaged in lately.. I feel Jesus doing big things in my life and using me; as a result, the devil is just trying to take me down... but, i know Jesus is faithful.
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Posted: Mon Dec 20, 2004 11:43 pm
S: I have always had a problem with lieing sometimes I do it out of reflex it got so bad though I do tell the truth alot it's just lieing has happened alot and I don't feel nothing about doing it.....God has been showing this problem to me.......Another one that I have though I never do it around my family is cussing I find myself doing it sometimes though not often and I want to stop it before it gets worse than it is I still feel bad about doing it so that's a good sigh.......I've also been very impatient with my family and easly angered lately mostly around my family........I've also been having a problem with putting things off and then never doing them
I: There's alot happening with my family and they're not good at all.....I don't really wanna go into detail, but things have not been going well and also I have a friend that's trapped at home because she has to take care of her mother who is very very over weight......There's just been Chaos around with my friends and family don't wanna really go into too much detail on those things
N:I need prayer for all things that have been happening in my family and with my friends
G:I'm thankful I have my family and friends there for me always even during these trouble times as I am there for them......The Lord has brought me though so much and given me so much when I was sucidal he was there and slowly brought me out though my family and friends
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Posted: Mon Jan 17, 2005 9:47 pm
Oh! I had this in one of my other guilds...let's see:
S: Probably the worst problem with sin I have right now is language. I don't majorly cuss [ex. f***/s***], but I do tend to say "damn" or "crap". I know those aren't exactly cuss words - but they're words with very negative connotations and can be taken as a cuss word. This really threatens my accountability as a Christian...I'm suppossed to be an example of Christ, you know? I don't think Christ spoke like that... sweatdrop
I: I've been really stressed out lately due to homework, school, piano...the list goes on. The teachers are piling on the homework like crazy! It's so annoying. My life is like a huge ball of chaos: not just in school, but at home too! I'm getting in a lot of fights with my mom, and I just can't seem to find time to do things.
N: I need less homework! xd Well, I already know that's not going to happen - so I guess I'll say: I need peace. I'm anything but peaceful right now: I'm pumped full of anxiety. I have a speech meet in a week, and a high school exam [to a really hard school] next weekend...On top of that, algebra is driving me nuts! Prayer for peace is what I need.
G: I'm thankful that the Lord has really helped me to make more friends and somehow get me through this pandemonium I'm living in. I don't think I could've done it without his strength. I'm also thankful that God has helped me to find another Christian guild [the other one wasn't satisfying my needs very well] in order to converse with more Christians!
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Posted: Wed Mar 02, 2005 9:19 pm
Sin: What I want to confess isn't anything new or recent. But, it is somethign that comes to my mind often. When my son was first born, i went through so much depression. Some of it I think was a chemical inbalance... because i eventually was ok... but, with the birth of my son and the sudden loss of hormones that comforted me greatly then... a lot of realities came crashing down on me.. and i wasn't a good mother to my son at first. because of the post pardom depression. I didn't bond with him at first... and because of that. i didn't always know which cry meant what... my sister helped me a lot. and my dad.. then, i moved to san diego thinking it would cure me.. it didn't. But, Jesus used my mother in law to help me through it. She often helped with my son. And, as i was coming out of the depression.. she helped me to see where i was in fact loving my son and caring for him. She helped me to see how even when i thougth i was bad to my son.. how she could see my love for him.
I just really repent in my heart of just not giving my son a right foundation for his life.
Issues: My biggest issue right now is that my boyfriend is in great denial about my son's autism. He refuses to believe it even might be true. He thinks I make it up because i want attention that my child is autistic. *sigh* May Jesus do something to show him that this situation isn't self perpetuated by me.. and help him to come to terms with it.
Needs: My boyfriend needs a job. He was laid off... and tho we do have income.. my income isn't enough to pay the auto insurance when it comes around again. I will just have to have faith that Jesus will provide for us.
Gratitude: I just want to give so much thanks to the Lord. He is sooo wonderful. I just appreciate his help and his presence in my life. I am so thankful that he even is willing to put up with my stupidity and stubbornness. I am so thankful that he finds pleasure in working with me. For the last several months, when my "monthly" came around, I'd have insane PMS... going into these intense and wild mood swings in a way i haven't experienced since i was pregnant with my son. It was really hard on me emotionally to ride that rollercoaster. And, this month so far, it's been not as severe. I just want to give thanks and praise to jesus... because those things are so hard to deal with. But, he is great.. adn so worthy of praise... and i give him praise because in working with my son lately, his speech is improving all of a sudden and quickly. I just know that the Lord is ever in our midst.
PS> outside of all this.. I am making plans in my mind and soon in action to pray over my home.. but i want to get a small bottle of olive oil and have a pastor pray over it and bless it. Then, i'm gonna put it all over all the doorways and windows.. and then go through my home and pray over each room. I might seek out some of my church friends who are strong in faith.
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Posted: Thu Mar 03, 2005 10:04 pm
S: I've been quite rebellious lately, not obeying my parents or doing what people tell me to do. I haven't even been following God's directions.
I: My parents want me to change my hairstyle. But to me that is something big and I don't want to do it.
I've been having a hard time being motivated to get a job or to get back into school. I've just gotten used to being lazy and at home.
N: I need some confidence to be able to get back to job-hunting and to finish my applications for school.
G: I have sooo much to thank God for. He's always there for me, even when I don't talk to Him all the time and then I come crawling back to Him at the end of the day. His faithfullness is soooo great and its just waht I need to help me face each new day.
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Posted: Wed Mar 23, 2005 6:28 pm
I thout this was a very good idea biggrin
Sin: I think that not trusting in God is a sin, and that is the one I am dealing with now. Also, lying, I really need to be honest with people and to stop telling little white lies.
Issues: Im still on an in-between ground, not sure where I will head next in my life, not even sure where I want to head next.
Needs: I need to trust in God, I need Him to open my eyes and guide me in Hid will.
Gratitude: I'm thankful for all of my friend and family. I am thankful for God's provision, He is Jehovah Jireh and He's always taken good care of this sheep heart
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Posted: Wed Jun 08, 2005 12:36 pm
I know this is an old thread but I needed to do this. 3nodding
Sin: I have done many things that I know have dishonored God. I've lusted, lied, hated, been foolish, been a hypocrite, idolized, basically I've given in to many of the temptations around me. I have allowed the devil to use me. Not only have I dishonored God in my actions, I have dishonored him in my thoughts and in my words. I have been a poor witness, and I feel ashamed of myself for letting myself surcome(sp?) to the sins of the world.
Issues: Well lately I have heard news of my sister quitting not only her job but her Cosmetology school as well. I feel that she is falling deeper and deeper into a hole that I know she can't climb out of alone. However, she calls herself athiest and refuses to hear the word of God. She can't even stand to hear the name of God spoken. All I can do is pray. Also, there is someone very close to me who has had many problems. He/she has suffered much and has almost given up hope. I have somehow helped to give that person a little hope, but I know I can't do it alone. God is the only one who can truely bring this person joy and love and peace. However, my prayers only go so far. This person has to willingly call on the Lord for help. I've witnessed to this person several times before and have told of the need to call on the Lord's name. However, I'm not sure if that person has.
Needs: I mostly need strength to overcome the temptations that surround me. So that I can grow stronger in Christ and lift his name up high. So I can be a greater witness to those around me.
Gratitude: ^-^ oh how I want to express my gratitude for God. He has done so much for me. He has given me life and forgivness and love and joy and peace. What greater gifts can there be. God is so amazing. He has proven his love for us so many times. I am not worthy of his grace. Oh thank you God for all you've done. For you forgivness, your mercy, your everlasting love. Thank you for blessing me with your holy spirit. For providing a way through the storms of life. Thank you for your glory. Holy Holy Holy are you Lord. There is none like you. Thank you so much.
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Posted: Wed Jun 08, 2005 4:22 pm
S: i repent for sometimes recently thinking more of myself than I should... this is vanity and conceit.. and i need to repent and stomp out those little bits of pride that strive to spring up out of nowhere...
I: My biggest issue is i'm trying to get back into going to church; but i have trouble finding rides. People used to offer me rides all the time; but now that i'm calling them for the said rides.. they always have a reason and noone will come get me and i don't drive.. I perceive this as just an obstacle from the enemy that needs to be overcome just like most other things.
N: My bf really needs the Lord to keep a door open for him to get a new job. My bf provides for me 1/3rd of my living expenses/financial support. And, he was laid off back @ thanksgiving...
G: I just want to thank and praise the Lord cuz i got a decent raise at work. Also, i was recently switched departments, and I am thankful for this cuz it's opened up a lot of work hours for me. sometimes it's overwhelming, but i just really have to give thanks to the Lord for it. I also thank him for the friendship i find in my sister as outside my family and my bf; i have no real friends.. i don't really connect with anyone I'd consider a good friend according to my personal definition of what i think a good friend should be... but.. i do give thanks for my bf who is in my life... and i give thanks to the Lord for my son's good health...
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Posted: Fri Aug 19, 2005 8:58 am
S: I confess that I was asking people's opinions about someone when they weren't there. I suppose it was sort of like gossiping. Even though i just wanted to get a feel from other people what they thought. I wanted to see if it was just me perceiving something or not.. but, still.. i was talking about someone... and someone else told. so now they are trying to use it as a reason to be mean to my brother.
I: My big issue right now is that i'm trying to potty train my son. It can be so hard! I just keep hoping Jesus flicks the switch in his brain to make him be like.. "oh.. i get it now"....
N: I really need the Lord to be in the midst of some drama that has erupted between my brother, his gf who is from gaia, and me.. in fact, maybe my family. This girl is trying to make me a villan in this... I started looking into a friend of hers... and becuase i was just looking into her.. his gf break up with him. saying that i'm trashtalking her etc... rolleyes But, I really need for this to blow over because that same brother watches my son for me. Losing my only babysitter who does it for dirt cheap would really bring a lot of damper in our life.
G: I am thankful for the Lord because i took a week off work to work on potty training. and, even tho it's not a full vacation like a trip somewhere. I am thankful to have time off of work. I also thank and praise him because i recently made a new guild in a game i am playing, and a lot of high level people are supporting me and backing me up. Some are people that I did not anticipate to do so. It was really encouraging night last night.
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Posted: Fri Aug 19, 2005 10:29 pm
Sin: I'm too judgemental. Worse, I keep it to myself. People I'm judging don't even know usually. I guess that's good in a way since they don't have to hear it, but it's pretty two-faced of me to smile and act all buddy-buddy. I'm pretty tolerant of people, really. It's just that I see people acting inappropriately and I can't help it. Christ didn't do this I'm sure.
That and the swearing.
And my smart-alec sense of humor.
And hating certain members of my family (I'm working on it.)
Issues: I'm pretty much alone. I'm working on it. Have been a lot more recently. I just don't deal well with groups or with new people.
Needs: See above XD. Well, that and a soda. Think I'll go for the soda first. Seeing as how it's 1am and I'm in my pjs. I don't think my neighbors would like me showin up on their doorstep asking if they wanna go catch a flick or something... biggrin
Gratitude: My family (they're always supportive), my buddy Cat (I've never met him offline, but he's always been there for me. Love him to death.), internet, MySpace (it's been a Godsend lately), my new buddy Kyle (another Godsend), my dad's new job, my newfound freedom (since I got a job, things have got a lot better for me.), my kitties (it's the little things in life you treasure...especially when they're fluffy.), and all the things that happened with my ex (I know that sounds weird. He dumped me with no way for me to reply. I'll probably never even hear from him again, but when he did, something just clicked and I knew I had to get out of my shell. I had to start meeting new people.).
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Posted: Sat Aug 20, 2005 10:02 pm
S: I confess that I have lost sight of God at some points. I believe I'm doing better now. I have said, thought, and done things that are not honorable to God. I feel so bad for it too. I just hope I can learn from them. How to become stronger.
I: I can't really think of any really big issues at the moment. I could say that I'm having problems seeing the path that God has laid out for me. I am trying to just trust that God will guide me where I need to be but I'm afraid that I'm not listening too well.
N: I need to grow stronger in Christ. I also need to grow more fruit of the sprit. I want to serve God with the best I can.
G: What can I not be Grateful for. I thank God for Everything.
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Posted: Mon Aug 22, 2005 8:51 pm
i like this so ill give it a try:
S- well im working on my anger, but i still need some help with that, and other than that im goin pretty good(if i do do some thing else ill update)
I- i dont really no what issues i have, im pretty happy right now
N- i really want(so im not sure if its a need) to see my gf more, i can only see her once every like 6 months, i know, im only 15 so its that "teen love" thatll never last, but i dont think of it like that.. i also have to have more faith and stop being afraid of death
G- were do i start, for god always walking with me through out my life, for being blessed with my lil bros and sis and all my other fam, they can annoy me but i love em all, for my gf, i couldnt be luckier or find anyone better than her, for still being alive(as wierd as it sounds)!
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Posted: Fri Nov 11, 2005 8:04 pm
S: I'm terrible when it comes down to patience with people who are apathetic about the things I care about the most. I get angry very easily, especially if the issue in question means something to me.
I: Apparently, I'm not the only one who has parents going through a divorce... but this is only the beginning. Recently, I've gotten into a fairly deep and frustrating discussion with a Gaian named Roman Holiday... and for all I tried to be calm, he provoked me to the point of hatred at times. (goes right back to S, and my patience problem... Holiday refused to accept the fact that Christians are at the very least human beings, much less the idea that He was our savior....) But I will leave it at that.
N: Lord, for all I lack in patience, I need grace, the ability to forgive others (namely, though not restricted to) Roman Holiday. I know it will not be easy, but through You, all things are possible.
G: I am thankful for my true friends, the ones who have not turned their backs on me... by name, Ariana, my pastor and his family, and the members of the WFC guild. I haven't known any of them for very long, but as my brothers and sisters in Christ-- honest in saying so-- they deserve that respect, that title.
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Posted: Sun Nov 13, 2005 10:05 pm
Graceangel [ooc:i know i breach a dangerous place saying this... but arquette, in response to that. I personally believe in the possibility of reincarnation.. but not in the way it's commonly thought of.. but in a way that wouldn't conflict with scripture either... cuz for a few years a long time ago... i did know people who believed in it.. and i learned a lot about it. i don't think it necessarily has to be treated as ultra taboo. But, if you don't feel you're spiritually mature enough to handle it, then good for you to say no. ]
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Posted: Mon Nov 14, 2005 5:03 pm
ElDestructo Graceangel [ooc:i know i breach a dangerous place saying this... but arquette, in response to that. I personally believe in the possibility of reincarnation.. but not in the way it's commonly thought of.. but in a way that wouldn't conflict with scripture either... cuz for a few years a long time ago... i did know people who believed in it.. and i learned a lot about it. i don't think it necessarily has to be treated as ultra taboo. But, if you don't feel you're spiritually mature enough to handle it, then good for you to say no. ] I'm sure God has the power to do so, but it would be nothing like what reincarnation is commonly thought of. I do believe He might recreate the Earth and those in the book of life along with it after the destruction of the world. However, I don't think we will come back as animals or anything other than human, ever. But who am I to predict or question what God will do, He is the ruler of our lives, all we can do is accept that.
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