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 Posted: Tue Nov 15, 2016 8:31 pm
"That's not - " Denebola stopped, frowned a little more because she understood where the confusion might've come in from. "I get a little passionate about it because it's propaganda that the Negaverse tries to use against us." Maybe not so much now, but it had been prevalent when she'd first awoken.
"They'll try to convince you that we don't belong here. That we're outsiders." Her breath shuddered out slowly. "Forgive me." Her smile returned, more rueful this time. "I can't really call it my planet, because...well technically Denebola is a star and other places are senshi from asteroids or even constellations. And then there are knights, it's different for them?"
She couldn't begin to explain knights and their wonders when it barely made sense to her as is.
"You're not going to find anything living, save for plants maybe." She said quietly, thinking of the skeletons she'd uncovered the last time she'd spent a long period of time on Denebola. "You'll find the ruins of what used to be a thriving civilization. And sometimes...sometimes you'll get flashes, memories, of a life that is but isn't yours."
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Posted: Wed Nov 16, 2016 12:58 pm
“Oh,” Caia said, perhaps instinctively just because he’d been given new information and wanted to make sure she knew he’d been paying attention. “I’m sorry,” he apologized. “I think I just call them planets. Just because--you know, life on Earth and...Earth’s a planet, and...I think…” He cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his neck. “I’ll probably have to go look up some information on astronomy so I don’t sound so silly. But...I sort of--I mean, I get it. It’s like a home away from home? It doesn’t mean Earth isn’t your home, just...that you’ve got a vacation home out in space?”
He shifted positions and cleared his throat. “...A vacation home that got totally trashed and is full of bad memories, it sounds like, though.” On one hand, it sounded like it could be fun--exploring some ancient civilization?
But…
“When you say...a life that isn’t yours. What do you mean?”
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Posted: Thu Nov 17, 2016 11:37 am
She could have been doing this better. She should have been better at explaining things, she'd been wearing the mantle of senshi for so long there was really no excuses, but Caia was kind and willing to excuse her blunders and for that she was thankful.
"If you want to think of it that way, then yes." The smile slipped again and she sighed. "I think it gets better, healthier the more you go back and tend to it. Like any living thing..." she trailed off, looked concerned.
"Uh - " she worried on her bottom lip, unsure of how to explain the memories she'd have any time she stepped onto Denebola. "Memories. You'll experience memories of a past life. It's you. Sort of. It was you and their life. They don't make sense, not at first."
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Posted: Sat Nov 19, 2016 11:44 pm
”Okay,” Caia said slowly; he sounded optimistic. “I can go back, and try to take care of it.”
He didn't know what to expect but he couldn’t imagine saying anything to sour Denebola’s mood. She seemed like she had more on her mind than what she was telling him and he couldn't imagine doing anything to make her life any harder. He appreciated the information she was giving him and the time she was spending to make sure he knew what he was getting himself into.
“I’ll give it a shot, at least! I don’t have a green thumb and I’m not really good at taking care of things, but I’ll try. Though, I don’t know if I need any memories! I’ve got enough going on up here already,” he said with a sheepish little laugh; he knocked on his temple as if to demonstrate.
“I guess...it’s one of those things I’ll have to experience to understand, you think? ...I mean. I admit, a part of me…”
He lowered his hands and began to wring them sort of nervously. “...What if I was a bad person in a past life? I don’t…I don’t know if I’d want to know that...”
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Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2016 8:30 am
"When you're ready, I'll teach you how to go," Denebola told him, nodding as she looked at him. "The first time is...It can be hard. It was for me." Sometimes it still was, because she would look upon it and think of what it might have looked at in it's prime and she wondered if she could ever bring back the fauna that'd once populated it.
Unlikely, but she hoped.
She laughed lightly, appreciative of his desire to lighten the mood. She hadn't meant to let it get so clogged and confusing and anything but enlightening. "A little bit yes." She remembered one of the first times that she'd gone and she'd accidentally tackled her passenger.
Embarrassing.
"Hey," she said quietly, brows furrowing as she reached for Caia's hands out of instinct. She was a person who defaulted to casual touches more than she realized. "Who you were then doesn't change who you are now. You're good Caia and you'll stay that way as long as it's what you want." There was a certainty in her voice, her words that might not have been there before. It's what she believed and it was hard to shake her conviction.
"Surround yourself with people who will believe in the best in you and who will support you when you're at your worst."
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Posted: Fri Nov 25, 2016 7:21 pm
Caia was the type of person who seemed grounded with physical contact; it shocked him out of whatever thoughts he'd let himself get trapped within. Touch could mean a lot of things, but he was quick to pick up when it was meant to be reassuring--and when it was meant to be something else.
Denebola was a source of comfort though; he felt safe around her despite only having known her for so brief a time.
He blinked at her while she spoke and a very genuine smile blossomed on his face. He gave her hand a squeeze and nodded. "I forget, sometimes, that there are very good people out there. I think you're one of them, certainly. It fills me with hope--and a very strong desire not to let you down. I'll have to try extra hard. I don't know why, but," he laughed, clearly embarrassed, "I feel extremely compelled not to disappoint you."
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Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2016 6:46 pm
She was grateful that Caia didn't pull away, or flinch, when she reached for him and she gathered his hands in her own and squeezed gently in return. "Some days it's really hard," she agreed, nodding her head slightly, "but when you've got good people then," she paused, wrinkling her nose with the wisps of a fond smile on her mouth as she thought about all of the people she cherished.
Fritz, Cordelia, Kaheel, Kam, Jamie, Pat, and all the others that came in and out of her life. No matter how long they stayed, they were still precious and important to her.
"It's possible to remember that there are things worth fighting for." Sometimes, Denebola thought that her faith was the best part about her and it showed now, as she spoke. "If you're trying, you'll be hard pressed to disappoint me," she promised. "I am serious though, if you ever need anything I'm here."
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Posted: Sat Dec 03, 2016 11:10 pm
Listening to her speak, Caia couldn't help but smile softly and nod. "Okay. I'll have to keep your contact in my phone so I can reach you. I'll try not to bother you!"
He didn't seem like he was too worried about it, for now, though.
He did, however, seem like he was becoming a bit more aware of just how late it had gotten. He didn't want to pull away or leave her, but he knew that if he wanted to keep his status as Senshi a secret, he couldn't afford to stay out much later.
"Hey--Denebola? ...I have to go home now, so I can be back before someone realizes how late I've been out, but I want to say thank you. And I would like to meet up again, sometime. So you take care of yourself so I can run into you again, okay?"
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Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 12:26 pm
Sometimes, it was too easy for Denebola to forget that some of the senshi were young or that they had roommates or people at home waiting for them that might not have known about their other lives. It was safer that way, really, to keep the people closest to them from knowing too much and she'd lived alone for so long it hadn't occurred to her that Caia might have had someone waiting for him.
Her cheeks flushed and she drew back, smiling pleasantly. "Oh right, of course." She said, shaking her head and looking away for a moment. "Take care of yourself okay?" She said almost the same time he did.
"Don't worry about me, I'm hard to knock down," she assured him with a nod and a raised hand in farewell. "Until next time!"
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Posted: Wed Dec 07, 2016 5:40 pm
Caia couldn't help but smile. "I'll try," he promised. "Bye!"
He waved in response and then slid away. While he didn't burst into a sprint, he didn't waste much time heading home. He'd have liked to stay out more, but this was for the best; at least now he could figure out what questions he had, process some things, and think.
Denebola had seemed nice--and smart, certainly. She was clearly experienced and even just knowing that there were Senshi out there who had been around for as long as she had, or knew as much as she did, was reassuring.
He could aspire to be like her--he could learn from her.
He was going to be a better Senshi. No matter how many small steps he had to take to get there.
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