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 Posted: Mon Sep 06, 2010 9:12 pm
Chapter 14: Badass Assault Combo Chain + 2 I suppose Marth is forgiven for messing up his assault streak by now.  And because it's a castle, gotta have babes guarded by dragons who also guard treasures. Yay treasure!  This Camus figure who apparently is so manly that he is the spawn of Chuck Norris now directs religious figures who are really Demon Dragons, why not?  Ah, the irony of Moses endorsing slavery and being cruel~.  Once again? Am I missing something? D; Oh well, this time we have a fire spewing bow as well as an army of Mercs!  Finally, a boss who is 1~2 Rg and Linda and Marich can't OHKO (because Demon Dragons negate magic)! Don't... mind his stats, they get sillier as he turns into a wtfdragon.  Right, so meet one of many of the problems in this level: these dicks.  He's the bigger threat out of the two Bishops and he ain't scared to fling that thing around if someone suffered like -1 DMG, and to make things cuter, they are stationed behind a wall guarded by a Sniper, and even more cute, they run like pansies (take one step away from the wall) if you get close. In closing, FE3 now doesn't like you and is done with all the cute 1~1 Rg bosses as well as vulnerable enemy healers.  Second thing about this stage, conveniently guarded by high end enemy units. Granted, this isn't much of a problem since there is choke point a'plenty in this stage to stop the thieves, but a Hero, Mage, a Sniper and a Mamkute all on your a** as you go to get your treasure back? O shi-. archayanami's GameFAQs guide Posted: Quote: 1. Warp Staff 2. 7500G 3. Devil Sword 4. Orion Arrow 5. Knight Medal 6. Secret Book 7. Dragon Killer  They don't give details for some reason, but in FE1, Basilisk was a type of Mamkute race, much like the Narga race. I guess Mediuth doesn't care about you, leaving you in the middle of nowhere then? =o  Well, with those manicure nightmares, I wouldn't want to live being your captive either.  Thus begins Garnef's LOLOLOLOLOL PRINCESSES fetish, besides being a crazed man who is obsessed with his book, I like Garnef, he's silly.  Daily Double: What is a Dragon Killer Sword?  Aw ********, his tail pierces the floor tiles, he means business. D;  Somehow, I forgot to use these, but now Doga means serious business. lol@+4 extra Movement.  Those certainly do not look like Worms. mad  After the treasure raid or should I say getting the treasure back from enemies, the other half of the army (so anyone not Linda, Marich and Doga) faces this d**k.  And if you suck like me and fail to take the oh so blasphemous dragon out, you have to deal with a swarm of four units consisting of Armours and Archers for ten turns. Like I said, FE3 is done screwing around.  Cute enough, EVERY (minus Mediuth) Mamkute boss capslock when they die because they think that their death will be cool if they do that.  Why do you only come out when the enemies are all dead, you wuss? D<  All four residents in that last chapter, and Alan, because Alan is a putz.  Lrn 2 better name people, Aritia. Next Chapter: Loli strikes back!, Orb things, even more treasure to boost our ongoing spree and being forced to use an otherwise meh person.
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Posted: Mon Sep 06, 2010 9:13 pm
Chapter 15: D'aw- JESUS JOSE! There was a chapter dedicated to slaughtering the s**t out of them in FE1/11, but it got cut out in FE3 because of space issues or something, but all it is is people just fapping to Camus as usual.  So now we're going to go raid Narga's family jewels for the hell of it and because dat' Starlight spell n' all. Looting a holy temple for a just cause, FTW!  Oh god, Mercs and Mages, total hell Morodof. :/  Oh yeah, and a pissed off Goddess who shoots ice, well that's new! 4laugh  Frankly, that's all we'll need, Holy Temples are lax on security in Goddess Season.  Except for Garnef, who is both: A.) Obsessed with girls (nothing against that), so naturally, he has control of little Chiki here B.) Scared shitless that someone might find out his weakness to the Starlight tome that he's been yelling about non-stop since we met him.  What's that supposed to-  Okay fine, last time I misjudge children in video games. :/  The only problem in this break-from-fighting chapter is the fact that a couple of dickish Thieves thought it was a good idea to loot the temple in the exact same moment as the Aritian Army for some reason, seeing as this temple housed treasure for thousands of years. So Linda shows them their place.  _archayanami_ (GameFAQs FE3 guide) posted: Quote: 1. Star Orb (GET THIS VERY IMPORTANT!) 2. Light Orb (GET THIS VERY IMPORTANT!) 3. Dragon Whip 4. Power Ring 5. Earth Orb! 6. Angel Clothes 7. 10000G 8. Bolgannon 9. Pure Water 10. Priest's Ring So you probably want the Priest's Ring as that's one of few chances you get to promote Linda/Marich/Rena unless you go bug Anna at the ecret-say op-shay, and the stat boosters are always nice. The Star Orb is the reason why I love this chapter (hello auto 30% growths to everything to the person holding it), it's what can make Jeigan be decent, and it makes Caesar kick a**. The Light Orb can go to hell. mad We still get it though.  Who would've known that she was guarding the Holy Narga Temple this whole time, and not getting drunk elsewhere, eh?  And after a good smack across the face...  Our little Chi-Chi is ready to kick some a** Holy Dragon style!  Oh, just what happens every other Friday night: strange old men brainwash you and make you do their dirty business for them.  Chiki- Last seen giving Link the Fairy Ocarina, not to mention 99% of Chiki's artwork consists of her wearing mini skirts which is usually frightening. Draw attention to her base Spd, amusingly enough with a 90% chance to gain Spd, that one flaw about her gets patched up real quickly. No boss fight because Chiki's dragon-y a** was on the throne, FTW!  Using his magical form of MSN, Gato now tells us to track him down, why can't he just teleport here? God knows he probably knows how to, it'd save a few countries in Marth's way if he did. :/ Gato's magic count: 2  If not, then ******** off, and good luck with Garnef, a*****e. But we do, so he loves us.  That sounds like a: Maph oh shi- count: 5  To go.. tend to his.. business with..... Ellis.  Don't ask how that works (Long ranged MBarrier, anyone?) but it's Gato, so we just smile and nod. Gato's magic count: 3 Next chapter- we shamelessly crash into other countries on our way to meet Gato who's too damn lazy to come meet us, meet some figure who has been all the rave and Sheeda is a whore for the last time in Book 1.
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Posted: Mon Sep 06, 2010 9:45 pm
Chapter 16: Camus, Camus, SPLAT! So, this is one of the more dickish chapters IMO, like we raided and looted Gra because they killed Marth's dad, we caused a riot in Khadein because Garnef is silly, liberated Orleans, and.. we beat the s**t out of Grunia because they're in the way, go Marth!  Last time you hear his name, appropriately, the weapon that they stole from Akaneia is the Gradivus, seeing as Generals can only equip Lances in this game.  Pfft, half the countries of Akaneia are hippies, one of them consists of shota with books, the other one are Ma' ********' dragons, I don't think there was much competition when this country is ruled by blond haired jocks on ponies and manly old men with grenades. (More on the last part much later in this LP.)  So, with all of Grunia's people like... that, we are off to stick some RAPEpier up their asses in hopes they become Nina's b***h, much like every other country she ordered Marth to wreck for her.  Wonder what sort of secret you were holding out on us this time? :/  "Camus, Camus, Camus", thankfully, we're off to shove a blade in him to stop this trend before it becomes Nyan-level of popularity.  So, inb4 Marth started crashing into things, Camus- who is a dog to the Durhua Empire ruled Pales n' s**t and when it was Nina's turn for the chopping block, he saved her via telling her to gtfo, so she did, and became a hippy in Orleans like in Ch. 4, right? Why is he only getting plot dump'd now? D;  So basically, it was kind of like a Miss. Honey -> Matilda -> Ms. Trunchbull thing going on here, only Miss. Honey is a ***** for Matilda, who Matilda has a thing for cute teachers, not creepy at all.  Then tell him to hand over that amazing lance before we have to pry it from his hold, dead fingers. mad  Oh you'll see him alright, you'll see him.. On the end of Doga's new Gradivus lance Camus- Meet the hardest boss fight in Book 1, final boss included. Not only does he have silly stats (Dat Spd, sorry Doga, looks like we can't just Knight Killer it and call it a day), but he sits on a castle gate in this version to boost his Def and Avd more than it should be. Only 14 Atk you say? Well Gradivus- which is a 1~2 Rg weapon mind you offers 20 Mt onto that, so Mages will even have a hard time getting a cheap shot on him. tl;dr- Camus is a p***k with an extra 20 Avd and 2 Def thanks to terrain.  The main reason (besides having to deal with Camus) I don't like this chapters because this guy and his cronies throw Elephants at the group which offers 20 Mt to their offence. sad  Healbotting as ever, mister.  Yay, more Partia RAGGGGGGE! <3  Sorry Marich, doesn't repair your broken heart. sad You need Major Hammer Blood to equip it, or be an apprentice to Rena apparently.  But wait! This village offers more than an epic staff to make Gordon and Thomas epic!  "But Camus, Camus, Camus" I liked the FE11 rendition of when she crashed into Durhua and beat the s**t outta everything before taking the Miracle Sword from them. sad  I'm sure Camus is older than you. stare  You bet your seventeen year old pink a** my Merc named Caesar can equip it!  Est- I like the concept of a seventeen year old girl beating the s**t out of an entire empire, but if her name isn't Sara, then Est sadly gets benched..  See all those forts up there? Well, there's four more down there, one to the south-east, two to the west, this chapter is silly like that.  Because Camus is manly like that, he is able to have a pleasant conversation with Marth despite the fact that he's a forest away from him.  Oh he'll drop that sword of his, but he ain't gonna drop that lance anytime soon..  Apparently not, seeing as you and your own rendition of the Idiot Squad only just started attacking/being part of the plot a few chapters ago. :/  Oh, so now this man is now Garnef and Jiol, sure, why not?  Good God, I hate Camus archetypes and their Camus'y ways. mad  Oh you will try...  But then, OH SHI- DRAGON OUT OF ******** NOWHERE! I don't like Camus.  Enemy's morale.. farewell...  The plot bombs of this chapter aren't even over yet!  Only unlike the putz Camus, he gladly joins the winning team. cool  Lawrence- If half the enemies weren't Mamkutes who negate Def anyway, and Doga didn't promote like he didn't in FE1, he'd have much more use than he is. Other than that, he makes a pretty wall flower.  JUST SEIZE THE GODDAMN GATE ALREADY MARTH! gonk  One more late plot bomb and we'll crash into Macedonia to meet Gato.  FE has this thing where they like having a girl in the game who really likes apologizing (also looking at Ethlin and Mareeta on this one)  And that is the Curse of the Fire Emblem in a nutshell (also so SF doesn't let me post because I went over the img count). OH NO, SHEEDA! Next Chapter- It seems that Macedonia left their gates wide open for us to crash into, so we don't have to go through a big annoying battle, instead we go right through and give Mishiel a piece of our minds and Minerva doesn't get revenge.
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Posted: Mon Sep 06, 2010 9:52 pm
Chapter 17: Camu- Oh Yeah.. Mishiel, Mishiel, Mishiel  Anyone remember those two? If not, Maria really isn't important yet, and Minerva is the girl with big tits on the dragon who wants to kill her brother cause he's silly like that.  And killed his dad for power and kicked his sisters out of the country, lemme at him! mad  Compared to the horrors of last chapter and Camus and his terrible, terrible 1~2 Rg ********, this is nothing. Resistance to arrows thanks to a shield you say? Well, it can't stop the wind tomes.~ Lol1~1 Rg. Why is he still getting Exp despite being at Lv. 20? D;  So we begin this chapter by Mishiel being a nice person and evacuating people from Marth the Tyrant's rage, but Gato decides to be a d**k as usual and call him out on things.  You against the world, buddy. cool  Their whole family is creepy like that, Maria gets involved later too.  In a nutshell, Macedonia is sort of like Macbeth, in that Garnef is the Witches, Mishiel is Macbeth, his dad is Duncan, Minerva and Maria are those Prince figures and Marth is big Macduff, ready to chop Misheil's head off n' s**t. And Maji and Marich are Birnam Wood moving to Dunsinane Castle. cool If you don't know what the hell I'm talking about, then should've paid more attention in Grade 10, Macbeth was awesome. : D  Even so, should have at least got a Javelin or something, even if Marth did have an army of Archers, you're just going to be a sitting duck against everything. :/  Gato- who is a nice, mellow man most of the time is not lovin' this s**t at all.  He's ******** pissed man, what did you do, Mishiel?!  Then he just sort of sulks back to Macedonia castle while yelling at anyone who looks at him with Gato giving him the finger in the background. I don't like Mishiel.  So, while screwing around the mountains, Sheeda finds some sort of contraption (mainly due to her lack of fighting seeing as she isn't needed on the map anymore with everyone she needs to recruit recruited).  This is the ONLY place where you can find excess promotional items by the way, so if you don't go here, then bam! No promoted Linda and Rena and no Thomas or half of the Mercs.  The big d**k thing Mishiel does to make up for his 1~1 Rg is he actually moves off the throne for once in FE3 boss history, AND travels in packs with a bunch of other promoted units, still not as bad as Camus.  But, Chiki doesn't like overly dramatic men, so she freezes him under three stories of ice alongside Camus. I love you Chiki, don't ever change.  Because "I'll be in a village somewhere in Macedonia" was totally specific, so Marth knew exactly where to go.  Gotta add that it's the only thing that can thwart Garnef's Maph. stare Maph o shi- count: 6  EXPLOSIONS, LINDA'S TITS AND OUTER SPACE, MANLY s**t RIGHT THERE! Minus Linda. D;  With our grenade launcher in hand, we can now do something opposed to running around crashing parties like what we've been doing thus far! : D  Much like any awesome RE weapon, this bad boy only has a little ammo, so don't miss Garnef! D;  Already? Haven't we've been looking for this place for like three chapters already?  Hmm.. who would've known that it would be in the area where Garnef rules? :/ You suck, Morodof.  But, but, Morodof is a good guy! And you sort of missed that line when it comes to Meduith ruling the world, cause he sort of is at the moment... Next chapter- Manly explosions, everyone magically promotes (finally), not so "carbon copies", and Harry Potter epic duels all over again, only without Bellatrix to make things awesome. sad
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Posted: Mon Sep 06, 2010 11:09 pm
Chapter 18: Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones Wait wuh? What did you do this time, Morodof? mad  Which makes you think: if Gato has the magical strength to warp an entire army across the world, couldn't he just warp to us to save a few chapters of destroying nations to get to him? confused Gato's Magic Count: 4  Makes you sort of wish that he joined the fray (FE3- he's too lazy to join at all) from the start if he's this amazing of a staff flinger. :/  Volcanoes n' s**t, gotta love building a town in the middle of a desert! That, and the usual human logic of: "Magic.. fire.. other human.. fire.. magic.."  Because he has nowhere else to hide from the scary explosions heading his way. cool  This chapter received a 180 degree makeover in FE11, in this version it's just a straight charge to Garnef, whereas in FE11 there's curvy stairs n' s**t. But, that's not the biggest change in FE3-11 in this chapter!  So, let's play "guess the real Garnef"!  Yes, 33 uses, and no, there is no obtainable tome of that sort in this game. sad He likes to sit on the throne and troll people with it like he was in Barhara or something.  Two carbon copies of these two, they suicidely run straight into ally lines, and needless to say, it doesn't end as well as they planned.  THEN THIS GARNEF, THE ONE RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF EVERYTHING, HOLDING THE FALCHION AND MAPH. HMM.. WHICH ONE IS REAL?  Then there's gotta be two p***y clones who run away shitting themselves at the sight of anything flinging that stick around like no one's business.  Uh, Marth is straight ahead, you're looking at Tron Garnef, Maph Garnef.  He then gets cocky with his magic book n' all, yeah yeah Garnef, too bad Bishops can't wield the Falchion, eh?  Fun fact: Garnef had these things all this time, why did it only occur to him to rebel against Mediuth until now? Maph o shi- count: 7  You can start by hiding that megaphone next time you rant about your book. We all know where you are now. mad  A break from the hard stuff: they only consist of low level Mages and Mercs, they CAN be a surprise and quickly overpower people who chase the p***y Garnefs into corners, but other than that, this chapter isn't that hard if you know what you're doing.  I like how Doga only gained one point of Def this whole time. >_>  And it begins: the manliest fight in the entire game.  Needless to say:  Just as effective as Marty if he was going to fight Evayle in Ch. 1 for whatever reason. :/  This time, instead of just blocking Marich like a grade schooler and running away, dem' nebulae floating around somehow in the background hold the b***h down for:  Best spell in Fire Emblem history right here. Sety only wishes that he can create spears from the ether and throw it at someone and impale them with it only for them to promptly explode while space-esque music plays in the background followed by a second round of explosions all while manly nebulae casually passes in the background like that player Marich when he runs into his exes. Compared to the ******** YEAH-ness of this spell, a violent gust of wind is nothing. tl;dr- I like explosions, even more when they're in outer space.  After the whole ordeal, Marich, being a manly figure in this game just sort of floats on over to Garnef's- or what remains of him after two violent explosions within him causing his whole body to implode so bad that it sucked into itself and created a black hole and picks up the Falchion for his bro' Marth.  Finally, in a butthurt moment- which also doubles as his ragequit from getting trolled by pretty much the manliest mage in FE, Garnef decides to take everything bad he ever said about Mediuth (like you know, when he was all like "OH, I'M THE STRONGEST!"). u mad garfieldnef? trollface.jpg  Umm, you would, but too bad Marich has a Blizzard tome to deal with that.. that and he's friends with a ******** dragon. Enjoy your fourteen day ban Garnef.  Miracle Sword Merc favouring, FTW!  So, after the whole bad attempt of trolling, and Marich modding his a** off, Ellis just sort of comes out of the corner from hiding.  "HAPPY, BECAUSE I DIDN'T HAVE TO PUT UP WITH YOUR PERPETUAL MAGEGIRL-NESS."  But with Marich's cold stare over his back, Marth straightens the ******** up.  And bring back a generic boss with 1~1 Rg to waste our team's whole one turn. That, or Camus, oh god, Camus, thank god he didn't have the time to bring Camus back, I'd cry having to fight that dickbutt again. D;  Problem: Morodof is such a good tactician that no one died, so you're useless, go back to Aritia and send us some soldiers or something. That, or bring back Anri so he can do this s**t again and Marth can go get drunk or something.  "Say, how much do you think they'd sell that for? I'd love to bring back some war funds!"  Yeah! Pre-Endgame!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! People have things for exclamation marks, and it only gets worse from here on out. Next Chapter: Marich was a man in this chapter- Chiki is a ******** dragon who flies and saves headaches next chapter. Thomas gets all manly, and two more chapters to the end of Book 1! I'll miss Book 1. sad
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Posted: Tue Sep 07, 2010 12:00 am
Chapter 19: Mediuth Isn't the Smartest, or Forgets Things By who and how you ask? No one will ever know.. you suck Anri, not being able to kill a dragon the right way. mad  I have to admit, it was kind of fun at times. Hey, anyone remember when Rena almost died getting her healing stick back from the enemy, we fought a war to get it back, Doga accidentally say on it, snapping it in half and we sent Gordon to buy her a new one and she thought it was the one that she originally had? Good times...  What's there to rule if you killed everyone anyway? D;  So, Mamkutes, Mamkutes, Reserve staff bots and Snipers, that's.. cute. It seems I went with the EXP gain route here, BUT if you want to two turn this chapter (or even make it less painful if you're one of those anti-Warp people), all you need to do is turn Chiki into a dragon, fly over those mountains to the north, kill the dragon (which is easy if Chiki is favoured thanks to forts and 1~2 Rg breath), Warp, ??????, Profit!  People in FE3 can ignore terrain, and look over mountains n' talk through walls n' s**t, no biggie.  And yes, that's FE3's argument to why Mediuth isn't helping wreck things up: despite being the most powerful thing in this world, he's still grounded in his room by Daddy Narga. Sure, why not?  But it isn't some shitty excuse to make Marth good for 20 strokes, in fact it doesn't really do anything. But that's getting ahead of the game.  But, feeling dumb that he doesn't know everything in the world like he should, Morodof smartly changes the conversation, war time!  Ellis- She got the short end of the straw in this version being at Lv. 4 without a good Wlv and sadly, the price of life these days only goes for about 10,000 gold at a shop. But if you really want to spend 100 turns in one battlefield staff botting, dat 90% Wlv growth is useful, I guess, but no so useful is her 10% Str.  Demon Dragons are weird like that, being tanky (especially since he's sitting on a gate), but aren't the best fighters out there. So for that, he is surrounded by Fire Dragons.  One way to do things now these days is Marth's new pimp cane:  Which, does... that on a critical strike which happens amusingly lots, but too bad Marth can't climb over mountains to get to the boss by turn 1, eh?  Dragon Killer!Raddy!Critical is pretty gnarly too.  But screw em, Partia is suddenly the most manliest weapon in the game, who knew Nina had given Thomas a flamethrower?  Not to mention: it does that on every Mamkute/Promote kill. Now do you see how Archers are deadly in FE3, seeing as you get both the Manual (+5 Wlv/Auto Partia equip for Thomas) and the Partia in the chapter Thomas joins? Granted, I only just started favouring Thomas in this chapter, but if you want a cheap run, just favour Thomas, or even Gordon, Partia is broken s**t.  Tell that to someone who isn't holding a Dragon Killer sword, Oguma doesn't give a s**t.  YOU GOT KILLED BY SOMEONE WHO ISN'T PROMOTED, GOOD GOD, MEDIUTH, YOU SHOULD HAVE AT LEAST LEFT SOME STRONG PEOPLE IN YOUR COUNTRY INSTEAD OF SENDING THEM ALL OUT TO DIE.  Holy Mr. Potatohead! Some people can pull off the whole bald thing spectacularly (i.e: Voldemort) but you, Mister... are another story.  Even despite Marth being deep inside him already, he's still going to give our blue haired kid a hard time.  Endgame disappointing boss fights!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  So, Garnef told me to go to Hell inb4 rage quit, and nothing happened, just what do you think you're going to do? Next Chapter: It was fun at times, but it's almost over now, Maji makes a deal with the Devil, ring whores, boring, anti-climatic chapters and ending the game in a non-canonical way!
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Posted: Mon Aug 15, 2011 9:17 am
Necropost'd (if this were any other place rather than Gaia, I'd totally get insta-banned D; ) ;surprise! Little did you know that I was secretly working on this. cool Chapter Endgame- Book 1 Part 1: Shall I Give You Dis Pair?" Minus the fierce part seeing as all the strong generals in Durhua were killed, leaving the gate virtually wide open. :/  Wasn't the brightest of ideas, seeing as there's apparently sixteen people allowed to fight at once, wtf Aritia rules? So now there's groups of four spread about the battlefield discombobulated and disorganized, good job Morodof. neutral  Then 100 years later, it will happen all over again, and over, and over and over, fun, fun..  The RNG Gods hate him it seems, and not to mention, Misheil was at Lv. 20, the least they could have done was make him at Lv. 20 too. D;  Yeah, yeah, so that's why you have the body of a human, AND put all your hopes into humans to saving the world, go to bed Gato. mad  Don't put pressure on me, mister, we beat Camus, and we can beat some RNG screwed dragon too. D<  "Return- once again?" Why can't we just dissect him so he doesn't come back, cause obviously he knows how to escape from this dark place if he did it before. :/   Of course he isn't in the mood for eternal despair like every other character in this game, so he does his thing and...  ..burrows himself into the ground and abruptly digs himself up again.  RUUUUUN, IT GODZILLA!(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you're the typical dramatic person in FE3 with lines)  So endgame.. ironically, there's nothing really to write home about, if you act fast and kill all the Mamkutes before they transform, all you have to worry about is the orgy of promoted units scattered throughout the field, then after two turns, it's a straight march to Mediuth. But it does have a new enemy phase piece twenty chapters later! And an ally phase one too, but I'm sure you can guess why it hasn't been posted. Look who you're talking to, should you really be ******** with Axefighters who have max Skl/Spd thanks to ring whoring?  As much as I would like to say I killed Mediuth with Maji, it couldn't happen, seeing as only the Devil Axe could hurt him, and on a critical, it still only did 15 Dmg, and I actually took the time to ring whore Maji in the last chapter with the Secret Shop there selling every single stat boosting thing and unlimited stock. :/ Not to mention, there's reinforcements in this chapter with Reblow who constantly cast it on Mediuth.  But, for love for Axefighters sake, and to give the programmers of FE3 the finger, he did get the final hit! : D  I dunno, maybe because you are still half asleep and grounded?  So everybody be good, or he'll come back and Maji'll have to do this all over again! D;  Jesus Christ, that's like the standard thing for 1990s final bosses to say! mad , that, or they all just want to be like Zoma from Dragon Warrior III, he was the original emo final boss. cool  And because Dokutayuu requested JUST as I got to this chapter for stats. D; Book 2 will have this every four or so chapters, I promise!  So, Gordon and Navarre were my failures/neglect and Caesar was ironically my biggest attacker (then again, I gave him BOTH the Star Orb and Miracle Sword for rapid level gain and good stats, and a lot of promote kills). As seen, I ring whored Maji for those stats, but axes are bad in this game, so he STILL had a hard time doubling and hitting at certain points with his Steel Axe . :/ Chiki was epic as usual, she was my drama queen slayer.  Good God, Marth's Pa sucks, and Anri must've been just a normal, average soldier, Mediuth sucked and got chopped in half by some old man's axe wielded by Maji. Can't we just sink this land so it doesn't ever come back? Gato probably has the magic to destroy an entire country.  Minus the fact that 90% of people are probably dead.  Ahh, it was fun, next time, someone remind Akaneia that their axes have problems cutting through butter, yet alone dragons.  Oh hey, it's that whorish girl that Marth had no affiliation to rather than saving her country!  Then Marth will take all the men and recruit them himself, and you'll miss out on all the fun and trade chaining!  Woah, she's still with us? I thought we left her to say sorry to Camus's frozen corpse over and over again.  Go out with Nina, Marth, she's the only girl who bothered talking to you for the whole duration of this game!  Damn it Marth, you're missing out, Sheeda has a Silver Spear, and Nina had a Flamethrower!  And that is how the worst, most rushed pairing came to be. Tune in next chapter for:  Where I make alternate endings so they aren't so generic as well as show the repetitive, boring ones.
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Posted: Mon Aug 15, 2011 9:22 am
Chapter Endgame Book 1: Part 2: To See ___'s Ending, Look At ____'s EndingAs in most endings are very similar to other peoples. :/ I will be referencing FE12 recruitment placements in lots of people's ending, so if it's a total WAT ending for you, it's probably because I made an FE12 reference.  Now, before you go: LOLOVER100TURNS that's a glitch, I suck, but not THAT much LOLOVER10TURNS, I like to take my time on LPs so I don't have to do unnecessary sweating and I can just overpower. D<  ... I have no excuse for Ch. 13, just don't ask (IIRC, I forgot to recruit Chainey, just as I was about to lay seize to the gate so I went back to him and recruited him).. but the other two were thanks to me treasure raiding!  Yowch, now you see the reason why you shouldn't spend so much turns favouring people and killing reinforcements? D;  But enough of me sucking, let's see what happened to these near faceless people!   You'll get used to the first part of his ending real quick. But King Marth, eh? Suppose I can live with that, dem' stats speak for themselves.   "Hi dad, it was a fun journey, but gonna go sleep with Marth now, bye!"  Extra emphasis on ideal, as in not giving advice every eight or so chapters, but all the time, MORODOF. mad  Where he or Est then go on to get whacked in the face with an axe and OHKO'd for their stupid reinforcement trap.   You mean there's another love story even more rushed than Sheeda and Marth's? =o   lrn2lbs *fist shake* your Def growth better compliment that extra layer of brawn or fat. mad   Oh God, the shota gets 100x worse in Book 2. D;   He also likes to help children in his spare time.  He was later found in a village in Macedonia. Damn teleportation logs popping up where they're least convenient!  Copy/pasta makes me a sad boy. sad What they really mean is the landing blow that finished Mediuth that wasn't landed by Marth made a loophole in the fabric of space and time, so he had to go in there to attend to that.   But really, they mean that he later then gets busted by Oguma on spying on Ricardo in the woods and out of awkward moments, he stops being a land pirate-thingy.  Because Sheeda is a one time only kind of girl and refuses to pay him any more gold.  Is also known for going for leisure walks in dangerous places and still hasn't found out that her Relieve Staff is quite broken.  "Flirtatious Thief" I dunno, still looks like a thief to me. :/  No one's gunna tell dis' low leveled man how to live his life, yo'. cool   DAMN ALL THESE LAST MOMENT LOVE THINGS! mad  Unlike Marth who had his chance at happiness, Hardin picks the right path and marries the girl of many weapons.   Well good for him, more people need to-  ...  GOD DAMN! He also fixes cars in his spare time and enjoys "leisure time" at public parks and washrooms.   "Hi, I didn't like my life, can I come back, with a promotion all for squat?"  Despite the fact that 90% of the people dismayed when Misheil didn't do what he promised- putting him to death on the battlefield.   Only unlike the other Bishop before him, he didn't brag about his book every chance he had.  Hopefully this time he can remember that he has innate Thief abilities.  Bingo Fridays on all bridge villages. At least he was nice enough to give back the Miracle sword! And what ever happened to his job at Warren? D;  Not to mention, being Caesar's partner. wink   What's wrong with being a Princess, can't they serve their citizens too? D;   Well, who else is there to take the throne? :/  Fan art also depicts that she developed two very, very large possibly cancerous growths right on her chest from casting so much light Aura-y magic.  Despite the fact that Thomas is running circles around every bow user by now.   This I'm fine with, Astria is better off getting drunk in a dingy pub, LOLTOMTHANDMISHELAN, Thomas is locked to bows as is George, process of elimination  But can't really do much because Marich reduced his Tron tome to dust.  "Yes, finally, I'm in a recognizable position in life, bye!"  But Mishelan gets no such luck, so he just ragequits.  Because no one knows how to look in villages in Gra apparently.  And you should know what the rest is going to say, it's like a broken record. mad  At least they're nice enough to copy/pasta the end of Abel's ending at the end of there just to change things up.  Not even an "As an _______?" D;  "I think my sister is dating a *****, ah well, I'm sure nothing bad will come of it!"  Get in line with all the other whimsical people, I don't think Thomas will be finishing up any time soon. mad  As the world apparently forgot these "certain reasons" that caused him to retire/he suddenly realized that he might be able to do something with a Silver Sword and near cap Spd.  Bingo is the way to go!  If you can't take the hint, there's only one person in the Aritean knights who wasn't married to their weapon by the end of Book 1.   And in a butthurt raggggge, he has also been developing this thing called a bomb, maybe he'll perfect it someday.  Not like there's nothing more she can do, even going for a nice Spring breeze walk could possibly ORKO her.  wat.  I like BBQs. Book 2 Book 2!
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Posted: Mon Aug 15, 2011 9:22 am
Transition: Why We Can't Have Anything Nice I wonder how much Sheeda sagged? By that I mean her face, perverts.  Why not?  Clearly, it is shown that in the canon-land, Marich jumped high into the sky and fired off a big Lightning spell at him, killing Mediuth, yay, odd artwork!  Boring rehash consisting of: "Of much suffering... Mediuth killed, everyone who was of much suffering was now helping their nations of much suffering, much suffering, much suffering, and so on" WHY ISN'T THERE ANY AXES OR BOOKS BEING HELD UP?! mad  Now for the interesting s**t:  Naming a country's title the same as the nation they just went to war with makes as much sense as me in a debate. :/  Why can't we ever have a nice Empire in a video game? sad Tune in next chapter for tl;dr, shota, everyone magically forgets how to fight and the best part in this game.
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Posted: Mon Aug 15, 2011 9:23 am
Book 2 Chapter 1: Super/Famicom/Gameboy/Advance/Whatever Wars Meets FE ... Shown ten pictures ago. Five years is the right time in Book 2.  Woo, Jeigan replaces Morodof- who at least stayed out the the way unlike Jeigan who doesn't shut the ******** up?  Jesus, they're like only twentyish, what is even going on here? Kids these days..  Here, Hardin cockblocks Marth, Akaneia royalty is full of dickery and apologetic women.  I was almost certain Chiki froze half that place under ice breath of RAAAAGE! =o  Says the man with the biggest army in the world. :/  Man against the world, Kain can totally do it on his own. cool  Marth likes to make statements and abruptly ask a question pertaining to his statement a lot.  Y'know, apart from the fact a bunch of people are looking right at us with axes and bows, nothing's the matter~.  DUN DU- oh yeah, he's the only Grunian guy alive.  Only thing Lawrence is lacking is a jock on a pony with a golden spear, all Aritia is lacking is a leader who can put two n' two together. cool  Oh noez, he used the word "slaughter" and "hidden royal Grunian children" in one sentence, he's automatically a bad guy!  Also, Book 2 isn't very subtle about things.  Then Marth pulls the Generic Hero #263 on Lang and tries to tell him that's wrong, and Lang, being awesome accuses Marth of conspiring with Grunia, plot!  Upon Lang's departure and awesome a**-ness, Marth immediately starts gossiping, why you ask?  Jeigan doesn't answer, or even give Marth 30,000 coins and slink off for the next eight chapters, I miss Morodof already. sad  Marth, you're fighting FE3-style axefighters, last chapter/five years ago, you were fighting Shooters with Elephants, like Christ! mad  Shameless archetype-self-advertising!  Yes Jeigan, I think we all know how to play FE, go state the obvious somewhere else. You'll find Jeigan is quite the pro at stating the obvious as this LP progresses.  So? Get a book, WINdell is your age, and he can still spank some enemies with a Tron spell like he was spanking a hot chick with-. Finally, fight time! Hopefully the state-the-obvious fair wasn't that bad for you! D;  Marf is actually quite good with his bases in Book 2, it is almost impossible to ******** him up.  Luckily Doga retains his 40% growths in Spd and Skl, and has a decent base Def to make up for his ironic crappy Def growth.  Gordon is still awesome, and Partia comes early like Book 1, but:  Ryan- has a marginal Skl growth advantage than Gordon. I use them both anyway, 1.) Book 2 has a fetish for flying things 2.)Archers in FE3 are cool!  Arbitrary Jeigan, I'm thinking IS just threw darts at Pally characters in Book 2 and the dart hit him.  Luke- has awesome HP growths, but compared to his other random newbie friends with no story attached to them, he's nothing else.  Cecil- being a girl of the 1990s, she has meh-ish Str, but good Spd/Skl, she's awright in my eyes, 30% is a frighteningly average Str growth in FE3.  What's Leaf with green armour doing hereRody- my favourite starting Social, not only does he look a little bit like my favourite lord in the series, but he has offence, which I am a whore for, and decent everything else! -what the ******** is a My Unit?-  And the boss, as shown, if he remembered to visit the storeroom for a Silver Lance, we'd all be ******** href="https://php8.gaiaonline.com/gaia/redirect.php?r=http%3A%2F%2Ftindeck.com%2Flisten%2Fiwnw" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">  Oh noez, the empire is corrupt! If you didn't see that coming, go play some more generic RPGs.  ...I think IS needs to go read the definition of what a twin means.  If she can wield a bow or shoot Aura-y magic, no such luck from me!  We have enough children running around as it is.  It's rude to ask a lady her age! D<  If an eighteen year old can pull off the ten year old look, I don't even want to know what's going on.  Suddenly, the urge for Marth to take this girl has since doubled.  Yeah, yeah, you're not coming with us.  Not really, give it two years, Sheeda did it at twenty.  Malliesia- Seeing as she gets: A- two personal staves B- joins early and C- has decent growths you'd have to be daft not to use her, or not like using slutty girls.  Slogging our way forward, we are faced with more bombshell mania, Talis is in on this too.  Ya' know, opposed to somewhere remote, out of Akaneia's reach like Talis?  Bratty Princess who uses staffs and throws tantrums? Check.  Please, we haven't even touched you yet. cool  So, being bossed around by the Princess figure, they decide to do.. that, better hurry Oguma, we're ridin' your a** faster than you can reach Lang.  Or what's left of it, as clearly you could arm your troops, would at least an Iron Lance be too much to scrounge up?  Don't throw your conspiracy theories on me, mister! mad  I would think Marth would question that when he became the EMPEROR, cockblock'd Marth's wedding, raised a giant army in a decade of peace, etc.  Odd, I didn't screenshot it, but basically, all he says is to help the royal brats we're going to off because imperial orders, then he:  what  WHATJESUS CHRIST, NO MATTER WHY WALKING HURT YOU, YOU WERE STUFFED WITH BOMBS! BOMMMMMMBS! FE3 is awesome because of this one scene, everything else is perpetual 1990s drama.  Ahem, after Marth stylishly poses for his explosion jump, which had 100+ different angles, we get back to the main game.  Maybe-  I don't think it works that way either, see, we're here to KILL you.  Here, it gets all tl;dr/generic hero, Marth subtly tells Lang to ******** off, but it ends as well as when Dorothy was trying to negotiate with Aunty Em to keep Toto. So with nothing else to do, we gotta rescue Minerva from bad guys, AGAIN.  Naw, really? I would'a think killing your superior would give you a promotion. :/  Fine, but there better be better looking women who can actually FIGHT there. mad Next chapter- women who actually know how to FIGHT, Maji with blond hair, random friendship and having to fight promoted enemy units in the second chapter!
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Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2011 4:23 pm
Book 2 Chapter 2: Where Marth is Still an Idiot So, Minerva did that because Chiki apparently didn't kill them all when we were in the area, and they got pissed off and kidnapped her because she sort of told them all to ******** off and didn't give them anything, leaving to rot on the streets.  This is the person who came up with this half baked plan, and his character is sort of half baked himself, more on that later.  Right.. so three promoted flying units, millions of Socials and a couple of flies to harass the group, keep in mind this is only the second chapter of the game.  And don't even bother trying to rush him with your favourite Social, Gordon and Ryan to the rescue!  In the meantime, Katua was just sort of circling the Hunter infested woods waiting for Marth to show up.  Woo, hope you enjoyed Katua's whole two lines.  To make up for her lack of importance, IS threw in fantastic stats, and the ability to fly which helps tremendously in obnoxious maps like this.  In which he's on the other side of the map with all the Hunters which only Katua can reach before he runs off the map. This.. is going to be..... fun.  And soon we'll escape with this Lady Sword, providing Katua doesn't get sniped. cool  Note to self: don't take Archers in dense areas. mad  s**t! s**t! -reset- what makes this chapter worse is that the Dragon Knights are aggressive and will attack the minute you get in their range.  But... if you get to the Thief quickly, dismount, equip this baby, Katua now has a reason to dismount outdoors. cool  Maybe he'll have the brains not to pick on girls who have overpowered swords that have magical woman only attributes to them?  Another reason to dismount Katua- so she doesn't have to put up with these dicks to get to him.  Katua would make a better Sheeda, anyone would make a better Sheeda, Marth married a nobody. sad  A quick "You're wrong" from Katua, and this cryptic figure who is apparently friends with Katua joins us.  Warren- Good to see the Maji hairstyle is catching on in Akaneia! Anyway, Warren is interesting in that he trades basically all his stats (anything not HP/Str/Skl is 10-20%) for good offence and skill. This is a bad thing, as an FE3 bow user without the ability to rapidly gain WLV to auto equip the Partia and not being able to double?  Rebels capture people? Naw, you're kidding!  In case you're wondering why the hell she'd come all the way from the EMPIRE, Nina is a boss and senses s**t's going to go outta whack, so she sent Linda to help Marth.  Pleasebeflamethrowerpleasebeflamethrowerpleasebeflamethrower...  <********! USELESS ITEMS! Damn it Nina, if you have the time to be giving me gifts, then give me something useful for once!  No, Marth really doesn't know that Hardin is bad yet, even after Linda basically walked around the world to tell him. :/  Woo I guess? Next chapter- An awesomely sexy broken woman, more broken stuff and gameplay tedium like there's no tomorrow.
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Posted: Thu Nov 10, 2011 3:25 pm
Book 2 Chapter 3: Winged Ponies.. OF RAGE Here, they go a little into the history of Macedonia, but it essentially is a copy/pasta of Aritia's, only they were Durhua's neighbours and weren't a nation yet, so they go wrecked sooner.  Replace Iote with Anri:  Where he then gets a shield that manages to hold together even after 100 years.  But the whole Minerva getting captured by rebels thing, and who cares about Maria?  Oh, well, I just got back from fighting-  O lawd. gonk So yeah, bring Gordon and Ryan FE3 is saying.  We are auto-introduced (re-introduced?) to the sexiest woman in FE3 talking to some guy she has no previous affiliation to, why the hell not?  Damn it Rena, I told you to stay away from scary mountains, rescue yourself this time, I ain't playing games with you no more! mad  Welp, that's one way to get rid of the only good natural healers in Book 1.  Why couldn't you search villages before? It'd save valuable turn counts. sad  IS's way of highly recommending you use her: can auto promote, has access to a plethora of weaponry, is sexy, very sexy, half capped bases, joins in third chapter and has god-like growths. I like IS for this.  Aura and Resire gears her to be one of the best (IMO-the best, although that's up for debate) mage in Book 2, this way, she can almost OHKO most things, and Resire lets her tank.  Slowly, by slowly, Resire is a wonder. <3  Upon enemy phase, apparently, Chiki failed to do the job assigned to her five years ago in that she failed to freeze Mishiel and kill everyone in Macedonia. So now, this guy's still alive bombshellin' mai Book 2. mad  Or the part that Minerva fired him without compensation, and his family is starving cause he doesn't have a job?  Oh, well thank you for making my hard efforts of breaking into the country for not, jerk. He then flies away, and no one makes any mention to it, as we continue to fight to rescue Minerva, who isn't there any more.  Criticals are amusing.  To one's fortune, the four Dragon Knights don't move, but have awesome things.  An extra stick for Paola to continue ******** things up? GIMME!  This is a trivial line:  In which going to the shop and buying s**t appears to not hold truth to this fact as nothing bad happens.  It wouldn't be Est if she didn't come in the final four chapters then. stare  Let's take a peek at our boss who was important for two whole chapters, as seen, if you don't use Linda on him, then best of luck! Good to see that 1~1 RG is still alive n' kickin'.  Here, FE3!B2 is a d**k.  As they take pleasure in rubbing the fact that there are NO axe users AT ALL in Book 2 who join you.  Hate you all, IS. mad  Clearly, his ending said he'd be chillin' somewhere in Macedonia, why the surprise, Mr. Marf?  Apparently not, Julian is the best protector ever! 4laugh  Not another one! D; You'd think after watching Garnef be blown to pieces, they'd get the point! -With that, he joins to look for Rena, even if we're not going to even bother to look for her.  Progressing further earns us something actually WORTH talking about. What is amusing is his pre-battle speech is a carbon copy of what he said in Book 1.  If someone gets picked on my Machis, they must really be low on the lifeform scale. -__-  This is a rather corny recruitment scene, but that's why I love it, who the hell calls their sister cute anyway?  She's more interested in playing Princess Peach than settle down with Mr. Loincloth here.  Machis is the kind of guy who can be persuaded in one sentence. "Those aren't poisoned, because I said so!"  With that, he tags along, dear God, that's the second time Macedonia pushed him around!  Machis is still Machis, if Socials are your cuppa tea, Rody should be pouring gallons of tea out by now.  Julian on the other hand: you're semi-forced to use him for later reasons, and he still has his awesome Book 1-ness, so he has a permanent place in the party.  He says even though he can't reach anyone with his range. cool  Hahahahahaha, ******** href="https://php8.gaiaonline.com/gaia/redirect.php?r=http%3A%2F%2Ftindeck.com%2Flisten%2Ftrzj" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">  I favoured Marth a lot, in this playthrough I made the mistake of benching Paola for a few chapters, but I'm still going to use her later on.  Everyone else: meh, they'll grow as time progresses.  Apparently, looking across the river to see Mishiel carry her sister away is too much of a chore for them, whereas looking over a mountain in Book 1 was no problem at all.  But enough of these conspiracy theories, boss figure magically surfaced!  Lang apparently didn't have the brains to kill those kids in Ch. 1 even though he had the chance to do so for God knows how long, days?  But your emo-rebel years are over though! D;  Oh noes, Lang is going to tell on us, runnnnn!  Good luck with that, Jeigan, I don't even think you even got Exp in Book 1..  General being able to move fast? What kind of sick world is this?!  You don't even have an on-world sprite, I think you are quite wrong there mister.  Who just so happens to be in Macedonia looking for WINdell's secret cabin. Next chapter: even more broken characters, two against the world, and ma' ******** Vikings man!
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Posted: Sat Dec 03, 2011 11:03 am
Book 2- Chapter 4: Where we Steal Wendel's Razor Right, so where we last left off, we still have yet to accomplish anything, but tell the big scary guy to piss off. Typical early FE chapter plot progression!  Wendel enjoys swimming in the pleasant, warm, tropical climate, that is infested by:  MA' ********' VIKINGS! Too bad we don't have him, he eats axe users for breakfast. sad ..but seriously, a high calibre bishop chooses to have his summer cabin in the forests infested with vikings, wat?  VIKINGS, VIKINGS EVERYWHERE! Still a hell o' a lot better than fighting 278 Dragon Knights at once if you ask me.  To the east, it's slightly more of a problem... even worse is- I'll let you find that out on your own.  This kid has the right idea.  What else is one supposed to use magic for? :/ Olwen: "My word, I locked my car keys in the car again, I shall have to blast the door open with my Dime Thunder!"  Well, in all fairness, sitting by the viking infested river with an aggressive screaming girl isn't exactly what one would call stealth.  Oguma is as good as always, as in fantastic.  Yumina- She has a nice stick, and because she spawns halfway across the map, it can be used to Rescue Marth to save having to walk all that distance. Other than that, besides her one personal staff, she's a generic staff user.  Yubello- Holy ********, 50% Str growth as a Mage? That's his way of making up for his lack of any special weapons that every other magical unit thus far has. That being said, he'll come along every now and then, but he'll play second violin to Linda.  To Oguma's dismay of wanting to destroy everything and be at Lv. 16+ by the end of this chapter, the first guy that he goes off to get EXP from surrenders and wishes to talk.  Y'know, just sort of casually hanging out with the vikings, no biggie.  Carrying? Yumina wished that this game had a rescue option for all the Paola -> Rescue Yumina -> Drop Yumina -> Rescue staff Marth -> Kill boss with Paola -> Seize haxx she could handle!  Sure, why not? I'm sure FE has weirder, more obscene reasons for other people to come along (Navarre).  Sirius- AAAAA, ALREADY PROMOTED, AAAAAA, EVERY STAT (sans LCK) IS HALF CAPPED, AAAAAA, GOOD GROWTH RATES, AAAAAA, BEING SEMI-FORCED TO USE HIM, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Sirius is cool, long story short.  Boss figure is your typical sword-bait.  "Sorry, but plot progression is in another castle!"  Stealing from a Bishop's house is a serious offence!  I guess one can use tomes for shaving, I guess.  Eh, give him credit, not many people can say that to Oguma.  In the end, he got guillotine'd as expected.  Says his head, rolling away in last second before death. cool  Sheeda's a b***h, she only pays people who contribute, and ditches them the minute they aren't beneficial to her any more.  However, Kashim is in a league of his own...  That being said, he tags along, and no mention is mentioned at all of him giving this gold to his mother, or even him even having a mother after this.  Probably spent that gold given to him on that Killer Bow. mad He's awright, but I already have two Archers tearing s**t up.  Upon seizing, Marth discovers Sheeda not doing perpetual RPG housewife duties, and is outside and isn't pleased at all. (note his srs face here)  You DID just tell Lang to piss off, and Hardin IS a p***k out of nowhere.  Twice Gra betrays Aritea? Now they're just asking for it, those ********. mad  Marth has problems seeing the obvious.  If you ask me, I think Ellis just likes playing Princess Peach and get captured whenever she can.  Her levels better reflect all this fighting she did!  Uh, who's Hardin again? Next chapter- we tell Lang to piss off again!
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Posted: Sat Dec 03, 2011 11:46 am
Book 2- Chapter 5: Back to Where we Started, but More (?) Badass Aren't you supposed to get less sensitive as you age? To be it seems lil' Marf ere' is quite the emotional t**t as he ages opposed to his " :l " all day everyday in Book 1.  Woah, woah, woah, back the ******** up: Oh yes, with his... 0 battles, he was just the most amazing ally, riding the winds, to the bench, swinging his... nothing in battle, he was sure irreplaceable.  Marth also enjoys switching from third to first person in his map rehash (biggest plot bomb thus far: MARTH IS THE NARRATOR OF HIS OWN STORY! DUN DUN... dun?)  So yeah, because Marth is in the area, they're going to attack this fort just to be re-assholes to the a*****e Lang.  She had a Killer Lance, in which she surrendered it over to Paola. Sheeda is a good Pegasus Knight, but meh, we have two already, and one of them is sexy AND strong, so naturally we field her more than Sheeda or Katua.  "They also have a hot chick on a winged horse"  Naturally, in light of these two things, he smartens the hell up. Pfft, army of boys in skirts with bows, my mainly melee damagers would like a word.  Woo, two whole people, you must be the most menacing person in this planet right now. :/ lolNavarre.  The boss of this level is the coolest boss ever.  Anyway, enough yip yap about Lang's fated fall, it's time for the best part in the game sans Lawrence exploding!  Yeah.. he stopped like six years ago..  At least the kid's not abandoned in a cage like last time.  Julian has a lot in common with Sheeda, ditching the boys whenever a better one comes along. cool  Oh Julian, your loin cloth, your clingy brother-in-law, working with a bunch of mountain men, we all know your ways.  Like Sheeda, one line and the boys join! Too bad he doesn't have a winged pony to terrain haxx...  And that was "Julian still in the closet" featuring Ricardo the awesome.  Unfortunately, as amazing as his whole four lines he'll ever get were, he's still not amazing as a unit. sad He does have his own theme song though that they totally took out of FE12 and I hate everyone for that!  Oh, oh God, five Snipers, end of the world, Lang won. :/ Best part being they don't even move unless you kick their beehive or something.  Which unfortunately, you'll have to if you want to get the Bishop behind them for his staff.  You're given a choice: 1.) Kill him and make Ryan and Gordon demi-Gods with supremely early access to Partia. 2.) Leave him and get him and the Partia, in near mid-game. For completionist sake, we'll do #2 in this run.  Should be used to this kind of stuff by now, even better is that they're not as close as they were in Ch. 3.  Blah, Shooters.  In which the boss is a Shooter for the first time ever! Rain is a nasty weapon for Paola to fly into.  If you didn't get the extremely subtle hint in Book 1 with his total badass escape, George is a bit of a badass rebel who hates anything not Princess Nina.  Welp, can Lang's day get any worse? The answer is yes, and next chapter even.  Uh, she wandered into scary men's hands (again), so...  War funds! War funds!  Wait, what? When did this happen?  Which totally beats "o noez enemies are here, h8 u all!" that everyone else said thus far. cool  We DID save the world from dragons, twice may I add. :/  Please be a camera on the ground positioned directly below Paola's skirt... Eh, good enough, wise is he who buys 453,643 Bishop Rings.  I know, forest tiles are exciting to rape your turn counts with.  Don't you plagiarize Morodof, mister! mad  We're in the area, so why not? Next chapter- we piss in people Cheerios cause we feel like it, Linda smokes too much cigarettes and modest wardrobe mishaps!
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Posted: Sat Dec 03, 2011 11:48 am
Book 2- Chapter 6: Someone Forgot About Magic.. We never do find out where he took all the woman...  Hmm..... let me think long and hard about this one.  You're not my real dad, you can't tell me what to do!  So, there's two 3~10 RG Bishops, which is a problem, as Julian is required to get the chests, leaving that whole four turns up to chance. That is to say if you're like me and don't feel like spending five turns killing them. There's also another reason why pissing around in this chapter isn't really a good idea, which will be shown later on.  Akaneian fortress architecture favours chokepoints ironically, making this part a breeze to lure them and just mass assault.  I'm sure they'll be just as effective as George was last chapter.  Amusingly enough, the gate itself is a chokepoint.  Good to see the years have been good to Navarre's confidence.  Oguma was always the more used "dude" out of the two. cool  Man Yubello, you just gained more offence than Linda did so far in your first level...  But oh wait, Aura.  Say goodbye to the difficult part of this chapter, now run Julian, run!  Too late. D;  Random assortment of Soldiers, Armours and Archers for five turns. Seeing as how limited in magical resources your Mages are, fighting the soldiers isn't really a wise choice. Also, unnecessary grinding is dumb.  I could just kiss Yubello, but then the FBI would be on my a**.  Seems legit, good bases, Kill Sword, I guess he can be spared.  Yep, one away from capped Def, nothing but magic and Armour Kill is good against him. He also has a 1~2 Rg weapon, so respect points from me for being smart for the first time in armoured boss history!  Believe me, if I have to waste a turn to get to him for that tome, I will, Yubello needs that Shaver tome on worthy things! D;  On both of Lang's sides are staff bitches. Granted, their AI is set to heal any injured unit, it's best to kill them ASAP, as the Armours surrounding Lang aren't very nice, and for them to survive the typical "CHARRRRRRGE! (and leave no one standing for Enemy Phase)" tactic of FE3 would be disastrous.  What is with people yelling their weapon names? I await the day when someone says "IRON SWORD!"  Especially that joining time, like Oguma is already a few levels ahead of you!  The anime of Book 1 stated that you guys already did!  So that's how he looks when he isn't facing the side!... where did the shoulder plates and the headband come from?  No Oguma, the last night's stag party Samto who fell through the glass table when dancing. :/  Well, in all fairness, escaping from prisons tend to be more successful when you're all not in a big swarm.  While Samto and the other guys apparently sat there in the seats with popcorn watching, as they all apparently all know exactly what happened.  Just casually strolling by as y' know, she likes the sight of bloodshed, so she frequents the arenas.  That, and I don't really see him working at the Build a Bear shop, so swords it is!  He then dashes off, completely not realizing the gaping hole in Oguma's life he just reopened leaving poor Oguma in the corner, holding himself in the infant position, typical men!  Samto- Now, he does have pretty decent bases, but he has rather bad growths. Thanks to Star Orb fragments, this can be remedied. However, seeing as this is Book 2 and no longer can you solo a map with one strong character, putting all your resources into one person might not yield as good results as it would in Book 1. Because of my Mage and Paola obsessions, there really isn't any room for him.  The minute you get into one of their attack range, they all come. If you don't kill them all the next player phase, the Bishops will heal them and it will be scary, seeing as they all have high STR.  Without a doubt, the longest, most cockteasing battle speech ever.  Oh totally, because Hardin was the Emperor back in Durhua ages when you were still in power!  He says as he still holds his 1~2 RG ******** src="https://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b7/rei_masamune/Fire Emblem Monshou no Nazo/FireEmblem-Version10J1175.png" class="user_img" alt="User Image" /> Don't you seduce Linda! mad  But not really.  Y'know Linda, if you would just agree to critical on the first strike, things would be a lot less damaging for you. :/  Cancer is contagious in Akaneia, just something more that they have to suffer.  And that is the story of Lang, the one p***k who was important for like five chapters. Armour Knights are so weak in Akaneia, or Aura is so haxx.  I use Marth and Linda too much...  Marth got hit with the RNG ******** on his STR, and Yubello is already about to surpass Linda in STR, but oh yeah, Aura.  Who just sort of casually walks through the wall behind Marth.  B-but you're so good at it! I'm sure you could have even wrecked Lang's s**t with just your razor you left at home!  Mainly because Wendel was too lazy to write up a final for them, so their final exam is protecting Khadein. I think I am satisfied with my take home final now. .__.  Because Gato is too lazy to teleport and get all these things himself, he made Wendel essentially play Dragonball with all these Star Orbs scattered throughout the continent.  I don't remember this, and I clearly remember this cause this was the tragic moment when Caesar stopped gaining awesome levels!  In the end, the Pope manages to talk Marth into finding the orb shards with him, and because it's along our way to DESTROY HARDIN AND RIP EVERYONE IN PIECES, we head off to the Raman Temple (see: the place where Chiki was found in Book 1) Next Chapter- Haxxy classes, ITEMS, ITEMS EVERYWHERE, and pegasi everywhere while we're at it.
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