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x - Mirelle

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PostPosted: Tue Dec 20, 2011 9:45 am


"WAKE UP!!!!!!!! WE GOT A MISSSION!!!!! Well, its actually a bounty." Ailleen pounced on Beatrice in an attempt to wake her up. Beatrice still didn't stir. She had been having a bad time sleeping since her necklace had been stolen. "Wake up woman!" Ailleen pulled out a stick of smelling salts and lit it. The pungent smell floated towards Beatrice. S**T!!! WHAT IS THAT?!?!" Beatrice ran to the bathroom to wash her self off. Ailleen read the bounty. Oh crud. Ghosts, ghosts, and more ghosts. Whelp, it was nice knowing you Ailleen. It was very likely that she would suffer death by Beatrice. "So, were are we going?" "...... A castle.... To, uh.... Stop an evil villan...." It was more or less the truth.

User Image User Image

~At the Entrance to Algendars~

"A castle, huh?" "I didn't say what kind of castle...." "Ailleen! Its falling apart!" "Heh.. heh.. he......... Alright let's just go inside." The vulpix began to drag the ralts inside. "HELP ME!! I'M BEING KIDNAPPED!!!" Fortunately for Ailleen, no one was around for about a mile or so.

Floor 1.

I swear I'm gonna kill you in your sleep when we get back. Ailleen crouched and was on alert. "You better be on your guard.." After a few minutes of walking, they reached a bend. A group of Voltorb were talking to an Electrode. The Electrode turned to the point were it could see the two members of Team Wonderland. "Hey! Get 'em bros!" The Voltorb turned and rolled towards them. Beatrice concentrated. Ailleen looked at Beatrice then turned back to the swarm of Voltorb. "Don't mess with Team Wonderland!" She let out a roaring Inferno. Beatrice's eyes; what you could see of them, flared pink. A river of pure psychic energy flowed out towards the Electrode and Voltorb. Ailleen looked at the Voltorb, then at Beatrice, then at the Voltorb, Beatrice, Voltorb, Beatrice. "Wow.." Thank you captain obvious! Ailleen began to notice creepy things, like how the pictures on the walls seemed to be looking at you.

Floor 2

Beatrice was staring holes into Ailleen still. "Never. Ever. Drag. Me. Here. Again. Unless. You. Want. To. Die. Here." "Meep." Ailleen was shrinking by the minute. Beatrice marshalled forwards.

Floor 3

Here, they found a few Shuppets. "Ghosts. Freaking. Ghosts. Forget about me killing you in your sleep! I'm gonna kill you right now!" Unfortunately for Beatrice, the Shuppets overheard the conversation.They slowly floated to the team.... Beatrice shreiked and hid behind Ailleen. Ailleen fired up a Hex and Payback combo, which blasted the shuppets away.

Floor 4

By this time, Beatrice had calmed down a bit and was steadily walking, keeping an eye out for ghosts. Two rattatas jumped from cracks in the walls. Beatrice poured out a Magical Leaf. Ailleen used Fire Spin. Between the two attacks the Rattatas were sliced and then creamated.

Floors 5 and 6
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Floor 7

Beatrice was focusing on walking, talking, and not screaming. Then, they found themselves at the entrance of a huge labrynth. "Crap." Team Wonderland swerved through the small corridors of the castle, looking for an alternative route. There were none. They had no chice but to enter the maze. They took a right, then a right again. They found a carcass of a Raticate. They backtracked a bit, then took a left. Beatrice created a psychic floor to walk across a spike pit. How original! The team rushed towards a staircase, hoping it would lead them out of the maze.

Floor 8

No such luck. Beatrice and Ailleen found themselves in an arena. A lone Misdreavus was in the middle. Ghosts of all sorts sat in the stands. "Remember me?" Beatrice gasped. "You..you're the Rattata we killed earlier. "Yep. And now you're gonna pay!" All the arena stood up. Anybody could see that they were preparing a gigantic curse. Beatrice was spamming Calm Mind on herself and Ailleen. Suddenly, a paw darted out and dragged the two into an alcove. To the ghosts, it would appear if they had vanished. "Shh... They'll hear you... Follow me.." Beatrice nodded to Ailleen and they both followed the mysterious figure. As they reached the end of the crack, light from unholy, glowing torches revealed their guide. It was a little blue rattata. "You're lucky I came along, or you wouldn't be here right now. I'm Emily. I'm one of the Guides of the Castle. The rattata you murdered was my brother. I never liked him." Both members were taken by suprise. "Come on! We don't have all day." They found themselves being led by Emily into a small chamber. Two Raticate and 4 other Rattata were having lunch. "This is the Guides of the Castle's quarters. The ghosts don't know we exist, so we have to lie low." "Thank you for saving us." "No problem! The path to the stairs are on your left." The team bid farewell to the Guides and went to the next level.

Floor 9

They were still in the maze. "Will this thing never end!" They trudged forward. A group of Haunter jumped out. Beatrice let out a Heal Pulse to temporarily blind them, while Ailleen used Fire Blast. The Haunters drifted away. They noticed a crow feather on the floor. "We're getting closer to our target.." The team crossed a swimming pool and a hall with switchblades set to slice pokemon to peices. Both were conquered by Beatrice.
The trail of feathers became more obvious.

Floor 10

Aileen noticed the paintings on the walls looking more creepy. Team Wonderland trudged along. The paintings looked like the people in them were becoming fatter. More and more food appeared in the pictures. Then the food halted. Pictures of pokemon starving appeared. The team began to feel very hungry..

Suddenly a painfully skinny Raticate appeared. "I am Hunger... I am the first of my kin. Prepare and suffer!" The Raticate grew to an enormous size. Ailleen's eyes grew wide. Beatrice frowned.

"It isn't a ghost.... I can attack it." Beatrice stepped back and concentrated. The familiar pink glow came back into her eyes. Ailleen stepped back and fire swirled in her mouth.

Hunger laughed. "You think you can best me? Think again!" Hunger lunged at Ailleen. His teeth growed. He clamped down on her with Hyper Fang. He laughed then jumped around giddly. "We are all sadistic."

Beatrice's psychic wave was ready. The wave swarmed around Hunger, slamming him into a spike. Beatrice and Ailleen gasped. They hadn't meant to kill him. They had meant to maim knock him out.

The team didn't need to worry. Hunger pulled himself out of the spike and charged forward. His teeth grew larger than it should ever be. Both of the girls shrieked. Only, it never hit. Hunger was suspeneded in mid-air. Slowly, his body became gray, then it dissapeared into millions of glimmering crystals.

Floor 11

The paintings became normal, for a while. Then the pokemon were in hospitals. Pictures of emense catacombs lined the walls. A sickly pungent smell filled the air. It deeply reminded Beatrice of smelling-salts.

A sickly yellow Mismagius hovered in. "Hello my children. I am Disease. Don't fear. Your death will be swift. I can't say that it won't hurt though!"

Beatrice shrieked. This one was a ghost! She ran behind a wall and spammed Calm Mind to herself. Then she remembered.

Ailleen was busy being a hero. She had charged up enough energy for a flamethrower. The heat was intense. She jumped to the side to dodge a hex from the ghost then let loose all heck.

The Mismagius laughed. She went ghost, and the fire went through her. "You think you can hurt me? She became solid again so she could attack. She used Shadow Sneak. She appeared behind Ailleen and used a Sucker Punch.

Beatrice stepped out from her hiding spot. She concentrated, thought of the best thing that happened to her, then used Hypnosis. The Mismagius laughed, nimbly moving away, but she wasn't prepared for the crack of a Teleport and Beatrice firing another Hypnosis. This time, the Mismagius fell asleep.

Beatrice healed Ailleen with Heal Pulse and moved aside. Ailleen rose to her feet and let loose the flamethrower that she had been charging all this time. "How's that for a Vulpix?" Both members of the team laughed and prepared for retaliation.

The Mismagius turned gray, as Hunger had. She woke up with a shriek and realized what was happening. She floated upwards. "No! NO! NOOO!" Disease shattered into crystals.

Floor 13

The paintings were now peaceful, but not for long. The scenes changed to pokemon in rainstorms, under trees, being electrocuted. Beatrice stared in horror at the paintings. "What kind of sick weirdo makes these?"

A lone Electrode rolled in. It was completely black, except for it's eyes. The eyes were the color of lightning flashing. "I am Electrocution. I am the third of the Pains. None have bested me." He laughed as lightning clashed in the room.

"How many of you are there!" Ailleen was getting p****d off. P****d off Vulpixes are never good. "How many...."

"There are four of us actually... But thats not the point!" The Electrode used his troll face. Electricity crackled. A thunderbolt crashed down besides the team. "Prepare to be electrocuted!"

Ailleen was running out of energy. She could only attack in an emergency. She didn't need to, as Beatrice was full of energy. "Get outta our faces a*****e!" Beatrice used Confusion.

Electrocution could see that Ailleen was tired. He turned his eyes on her. Thunder cracked outside. He rolled back and forth. Algendars Castle was becoming soaked in rain. He summoned energy and let loose an almightly Thunder on Ailleen.

The Vulpix screamed. It broke the eardrums of most everybody in the castle. Her body crackled as the electricity hurled through her body.

Beatrice glared at the Electrode. No mercy now. Well, it was nice knowing you Electrocution. She hurled Magical Leaf at him, then followed up with a Psychic. She slammed him into the walls intill he was beat senseless. She used a combo of Magical Leaf and Confusion to slice him in half.

Beatrice fell to her knees. With almost no energy left, there was only one choice. She tapped into Hunger's, Disease's, and Electrocution's soul power. She stood up and walked to Ailleen's side. She used Heal Pulse.

Heal Pulse spread over Ailleen. The green energy was calming and beautiful. Little drops of harp like music spread across the room. The Vulpix closed her eyes to get her senses straight. Then she attemepted to stand up. She fell back to her knees and chuckled. "B*****d nailed me pretty good." Beatrice used Psychic to help Ailleen walk and recuperate.


Floor 14

Beatrice and Ailleen exited the place were Agony had shattered and stepped into a completely bare room; ya know, except for the Honchkrow, a Gengar, and a hoard of treasure. "Hey! You there! We are Team Wonderland and we are gonna arrest you!" The Gengar smirked. A horrible grin filled his face. The Honchkrow laughed. "I only see a pathetic Vulpix and a little psychic type. You think you can bring me in?"

She laughed while preparing a Dark Pulse. Beatrice let out another blinding Heal Pulse. Ailleen let loose firy hell with an Inferno. The Honchkrow laughed and shook off the rays of the Heal Pulse but wasn't ready for the Inferno. She shrieked as the fire burned her. "A Night Slash is in order!" She slammed her wings together. Beatrice shrieked as the dark type attack slammed her into the wall. Blood trickled down her side.

The Gengar laughed and used Shadow Sneak appearing besides Beatrice. His eyes glowed green then he disappeared. Beatrice hovered. She looked down at her hands and robe as if they were foreign. "This... body.. It rejects me... To pure.. While I still have the chance... I am Obsidian.... I control minds.... I can only speek through my hosts..... And I am the fourth of the four pains...."

Beatrice smirked. "My time's up. Sorry I couldn't tell you anymore." With that, Beatrice's eyes returned to normal. Her body shivered.

Ailleen glared at the Honchkrow. "You hired that Gengar? You set us through a world of heck. I know that Beatrice is gonna be having stew to help her feel better, but I think that Honchkrow stew helps one get better faster!"

Fire swirled in her mouth. The room began to heat up drastically. The Honchkrow looked at Ailleen with suprise and fear. Ailleen let loose an inferno. This attack was not normal. The fire had been changed into a deck of cards. Hearts, Spades, Diamonds, and Clubs. The deck shuffled, cut, and dealed themselves at the Honchkrow.

With a bird-like shriek the Honchkrow fell backwards and flailed about, trying to put the fire out. Ailleen chuckled, then remembered Beatrice. "S**t." Ailleen darted over to Beatrice. "I'm sorry. This is my fault. I shouldn't have brought you here...." "No.. It isn't... This was fun.." Beatrice smiled. "Let's get you to the infirmary." Ailleen hoisted Beatrice onto her back and tied the Honchkrow's foot to a heavy treasure chest by its very own feathers.
PostPosted: Tue Dec 20, 2011 12:51 pm


Hey Order, sorry to disappoint but your mission's not quite ready for grading. You have a pretty good outline but it isn't long enough. In regard to Bounties they have a requirement of at least 5 floors in the dungeon, that being said a 'floor' is the equivalent of half a page written in a word processor such as Microsoft Word or Open Office. Also, headings (like Floor 1, or At the Dungeon) as well as sprites and bbcode for font colors don't count for any length either. Counting all the story text and none of the extras, your bounty came to 1 1/2 pages on Open Office so it can't be graded yet. If you add more length and depth to your paragraphs for each floor (you're allowed to do multiple paragraphs per floor) and add in floors five and six you can probably meet the standard, but we can't grade it until you do that. If you have any more questions about this feel free to ask me, also you can check out the Mission, Bounty, and Free Exploration Guidelines. Whenever you finish feel free to put up a post here saying that you've edited it and we'll get to grading it as soon as we can. ^ ^

Dark_Hunter-Angelic_Tears
Crew


x - Mirelle

Allegiant

9,575 Points
  • Signature Look 250
  • Grunny Grabber 50
  • Money Never Sleeps 200
PostPosted: Tue Dec 20, 2011 2:07 pm


Dark_Hunter-Angelic_Tears
Hey Order, sorry to disappoint but your mission's not quite ready for grading. You have a pretty good outline but it isn't long enough. In regard to Bounties they have a requirement of at least 5 floors in the dungeon, that being said a 'floor' is the equivalent of half a page written in a word processor such as Microsoft Word or Open Office. Also, headings (like Floor 1, or At the Dungeon) as well as sprites and bbcode for font colors don't count for any length either. Counting all the story text and none of the extras, your bounty came to 1 1/2 pages on Open Office so it can't be graded yet. If you add more length and depth to your paragraphs for each floor (you're allowed to do multiple paragraphs per floor) and add in floors five and six you can probably meet the standard, but we can't grade it until you do that. If you have any more questions about this feel free to ask me, also you can check out the Mission, Bounty, and Free Exploration Guidelines. Whenever you finish feel free to put up a post here saying that you've edited it and we'll get to grading it as soon as we can. ^ ^


I, uhh. Edited it. The second to last paragraph was a b***h to write, but I think its better.
PostPosted: Tue Dec 20, 2011 5:06 pm


((Very nice job fixing it up~))

Upon returning to the Guild, Team Wonderland would immediately find help from some passing Pokemon who offered to help get Beatrice to the Infirmary for some immediate medical attention. She would be treated swiftly and efficiently by the nurses there, leaving her in far better shape than she had been before and able to return to her Team Room for the night. While this was going on, Ailleen would be approached by none other than Officer Arcanine himself to congratulate their Team on a job well done and to take the prisoner and stolen goods off her hands. "Thank you for apprehending this criminal," he said with a smart salute to the Vulpix, "Without your help we could have been chasing her for quite some time yet." The police captain laughed a deep booming laugh and took the Honchkrow and chest from the Vulpix with a smile before removing a bag from a pouch around his neck and setting it down in front of Ailleen. "Here are your rewards," the Arcanine said, "Thank you once again." With a brisk nod, the large canine picked up the Honchkrow (and her various attachments) like she was nothing more than a chew toy and walked off without another word. When Ailleen looked inside she would find an assortmant of prizes for a job well done: what looked to be about 2,000 PD and a Pain Split TM with a piece of Charcoal nestled beside it.

The Team could return to their room for a well deserved rest after all they'd been through that day, but the next morning they were in for a surprise for they would be awoken by a knock on the door. Outside waiting they would find a pair of Pokemon, a familiar blue Ratatta with a bright smile and a Shuppet floating up and down who regarded the former suspiciously. "Hi! Remember me?" the Ratatta said, "I'm Emily, the Castle Guide! You're a Rescue Team right? Could I join your Team?" She certainly seemed eager, that was for sure.

"I'd like to join as well," came the voice of the Shuppet who hovered nearby and had been silent up until then. "You two must be strong to have defeated the Pains, it's the talk of the castle! I'd be grateful if you'd let me join your Team, I never really liked the whole 'keep everyone away from the castle' thing." The pair waited for the verdict of Team Wonderland's Leaders anxiously, but the Team could only accept one of them.

Rewards:
2,000 PD
x1 Pain Split TM
x1 Charcoal
Choice of Ratatta or Shuppet Recruit


((Nicely done with your first bounty, I was really happy with the way you fixed it up. I have two bits of advice for you. Firstly I really liked what you did at the end, those are the sort of paragraphs I'd like to see more of, they're descriptive and interesting and follow a plot which is exactly what missions are for. Missions are a creative writing excercise remember, so you can do whatever you want with them even if it deviates slightly from the original prompt it's okay. So yes, very good especially toward the end. Second, it'd be good if you'd find a way to make your battles longer and more interesting, they can be pretty annoying when you're trying to follow a plotline but since they're necessary you may as well have fun with them. Again, it's your story so anything goes that you want [except for obvious things like Arceus coming down and saving your Team] and you can have fun with it. Other than that everything else was good except a few spelling issues but everyone has those sometimes. Good job Order!))

Dark_Hunter-Angelic_Tears
Crew


x - Mirelle

Allegiant

9,575 Points
  • Signature Look 250
  • Grunny Grabber 50
  • Money Never Sleeps 200
PostPosted: Tue Dec 20, 2011 7:39 pm


((God, I feel so happy! Thank you.))

User Image

Ailleen watched mournfully as Beatrice was taken to the infirmary. She turned with a half-hearted smile to Officer Arcanine. "Thank you sir." She quietly accepted the bag of rewards and turned to the Shuppet and Emily. "Emily, welcome to Team Wonderland." Emily jumped for joy. "Thank you so much!" Emily turned to the Shuppet. "I'm sorry you can't join... If you don't want to keep people away, there's not much I can do about that, but..." She pressed a small pendant and a note into the Shuppet's hands. Wait, what? "At least now... You can guide lost pokemon to a safe haven. You are now an official member of the Guides of the Castle. The very first none Rattata or its evolution." Ailleen waved goodbye to the Shuppet and they both went back to the team's base.
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Central Territory [Guild of the Sun Territory]

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