Hatake Anko-San
Anko stood outside the village, wondering what was going on. Several people, including ninja, had gone missing in the area and she had been assigned to figure out what was happening. She sighed and began her patrol.
Who went missing? Where outside the village was she standing; what was her surroundings? How did she stand? There could be so much more detail here that just isn't.
"Of course they have me do this before I've had my dango..." She sighed
She couldn't find anything strange or suspicious around, but she didn't drop her guard. She placed her hand over the mark on her neck, wincing at the horrible memories that flooded into her mind.
Still no explanation of her surroundings or where or what she's searching. How is she conducting this search? Does she have help, is she using any tools? Why was this search suddenly derailed by her curse mark, which you also described in lackluster fashion?
"No traces of anything! Why me?" She groaned, hoping something would give her a lead.
Still nothing.
She knew something was up, but nothing seemed to be anything that would conceal an enemy, but she knew not to let that fool her. A small rustle in the trees caught her attention.
How did she know something was up? We haven't seen her actually do anything yet.
"There's no wind today, so that means..." She observed, jumping into the tree.
No wind means what, exactly?
Her stomach growled. She knew the faster this was done, the faster she could eat. She searched her tool pouch for shuriken to possibly use to get the enemy to reveal themselves or drop something. A small flutter caught her eye. A paper bomb.
"Crap!! Kidnapping isn't what their up to! They're trying to sabotage anyone who's tracking them! No wonder everyone's been going missing!"
She jumped out of the way of the explosion and followed the sound of rustling leaves. She had whoever it was on the run. As long as the wind didn't suddenly pick up, she had the culprit. Another paper bomb dropped in front of her. She didn't jump out of the way in time.
A paper bomb explodes in her face, but she still has the wherewithal afterward to just speak like nothing happened? Is she injured? What's the deal?
"No! I've lost them!"
Who went missing? Where outside the village was she standing; what was her surroundings? How did she stand? There could be so much more detail here that just isn't.
"Of course they have me do this before I've had my dango..." She sighed
She couldn't find anything strange or suspicious around, but she didn't drop her guard. She placed her hand over the mark on her neck, wincing at the horrible memories that flooded into her mind.
Still no explanation of her surroundings or where or what she's searching. How is she conducting this search? Does she have help, is she using any tools? Why was this search suddenly derailed by her curse mark, which you also described in lackluster fashion?
"No traces of anything! Why me?" She groaned, hoping something would give her a lead.
Still nothing.
She knew something was up, but nothing seemed to be anything that would conceal an enemy, but she knew not to let that fool her. A small rustle in the trees caught her attention.
How did she know something was up? We haven't seen her actually do anything yet.
"There's no wind today, so that means..." She observed, jumping into the tree.
No wind means what, exactly?
Her stomach growled. She knew the faster this was done, the faster she could eat. She searched her tool pouch for shuriken to possibly use to get the enemy to reveal themselves or drop something. A small flutter caught her eye. A paper bomb.
"Crap!! Kidnapping isn't what their up to! They're trying to sabotage anyone who's tracking them! No wonder everyone's been going missing!"
She jumped out of the way of the explosion and followed the sound of rustling leaves. She had whoever it was on the run. As long as the wind didn't suddenly pick up, she had the culprit. Another paper bomb dropped in front of her. She didn't jump out of the way in time.
A paper bomb explodes in her face, but she still has the wherewithal afterward to just speak like nothing happened? Is she injured? What's the deal?
"No! I've lost them!"
I'd say this is semi-lit at best.
