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 Posted: Fri Jul 31, 2009 1:22 am
She couldn’t stay. Not knowing all this. Not knowing that the entire time they would just be groping in the dark for things they wouldn’t allow themselves to have. It seemed so easy. They both knew how they felt, but…
No, of course. It would never be that easy. Things had to be far more complicated than the feelings that two people shared.
Her tears rolled freely. She was tired. Tired of holding them in, tired of dealing with everything, tired of everyone and everything. Now, more than ever, she simply wanted to sleep for all eternity.
“I don’t understand… But if that is how it has to be--”
He loved Quinn, and he hated him. This was far bigger than she was. This was Gods, and fate, and eternity, and all those stupid things that cared so little for the thoughts of eternity. She was just a tiny, insignificant human butting her nose into things much greater than she would ever be.
She couldn’t stay. She wouldn’t stay sane. As soon as she could, she’d need to get out. Run away. Find someplace to carve a new spot, and to find a new purpose.
She wouldn’t be able to accept being denied something that she wanted so badly. The hope was gone, and so was the point.
But she couldn’t tell him. Not now. She couldn’t let him think that she was simply trying to force him to accept her feelings.
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Posted: Fri Jul 31, 2009 1:29 am
"I'm sorry." And he meant it, more than he ever had in his life. This was - this was exactly why he knew he could never really get involved with anyone else.
Because the thought of holding her like this and more, the thought of freely breathing in her hair, of so easily holding and having her trust and love and care ---
The thought of one day breaking that was more than he could stand.
And he knew he would, without a doubt. He could never truly turn Quinn away. He would inevitably break that care, that trust.
God, he was a monster. In so many, many, different ways.
"I'm sorry," he repeated.
He wished he could say something so very different. But where was there to go from here?
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