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 Posted: Mon Mar 23, 2009 7:40 pm
Yeah I am not saying you dont trust each other my husbands friend has been married since they were 17 and they are now 20 and his wife still cheated they have a kid together and now now trying for an other. Any thing can happen. I am glad you have male friends who are supportive.
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Posted: Mon Mar 23, 2009 7:44 pm
Marilyn-J-Monroe Yeah I am not saying you dont trust each other my husbands friend has been married since they were 17 and they are now 20 and his wife still cheated they have a kid together and now now trying for an other. Any thing can happen. I am glad you have male friends who are supportive.
Well that sounds like that's THEIR problem. Hah, sounds like they got married at a young age. Me and Chris have been together since 2001. Even though were not married yet. I know I would never hurt him.
If anything, this being apart from each other has made US stronger. Yes I am lonely, but I have my friends and family to keep me ahead 3nodding Thank God I have Them biggrin
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Posted: Mon Mar 23, 2009 7:45 pm
Agreeing with Wicked here. I have more male friends, than I do female friends. And, the male friends I DO have, are all very much aware of Michael and I. I get lonely without Michael. I miss Michael. A lot. And I do hang out with my male friends, often. But, I am not weak. I love this man, with everything I have. I will give in, to any sort of "temptation".
Michael is my one. He's all I want. If I can't have Michael, I don't want anyone. If death should separate us, far too early, I will have no one else. For the love of Gods, I have Michael's zodiac star constellation tattooed on my neck. I'm going in within the month to have his beret flash tattooed on me.
If I can't resist any temptation, or go 8 - 9 months without Michael, and I fall into another mans' arms, then, I don't deserve Michael. I don't deserve to have him in my life.
But I won't do that. I won't go to any other man with anything other than just platonic feelings. Because Michael is my heart. I have eyes only for him.
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Posted: Mon Mar 23, 2009 7:45 pm
OMG ok I wasnt saying you were anyway good night everyone I am going to bed my husband is wait. Good luck with deployments and what not
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Posted: Mon Mar 23, 2009 7:50 pm
I think I'd spend it keeping myself busy. I want to get my masters in library science, I have decided, so I will be busy. >: I'll toss some books at some strangers and tell them to read! x3 Video games will probably help too, but that's in the future and I will figure out the secret recipe to happiness then right? x3
You all have some nice tips though, might happen one day. >.<; I like to hear about what happens since I usually have a bit of anxiety about new things/changes at first.
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Posted: Tue Mar 24, 2009 5:12 am
Well, taking care of my little girl keeps me quite busy(she's 21 months old)! That, and with our son due to be born in less than a month or so, I've also been finishing up last minute preparation for his arrival! I have times where I do get lonely and bored without him here, but I'm glad to have neighbors and friends I can spend time with and do things with when I can. I just look forward to having Pat and my mom here really soon(him for his 2 week R&R, and Mom for her first visit to Texas). I'm glad that once this deployment's over, he'll be getting out of the service and we can go back to Alaska.
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Quotable Conversationalist
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Posted: Tue Mar 24, 2009 2:45 pm
Marilyn-J-Monroe I would be careful hanging out with male friends though you say nothing will happen there is always a chance especially when you are lonely and missing your man. I have never cheated but it does get lonely as most of you know and male attention is always a touchy thing when you are away from your love I'd like to think most of us have the self control to not let anything happen.If I didn't hang out with my male friends, I'd be awfully bored nearly all the time. There aren't a lot of women who work in my work section, and I'm the only female in my squad. My only close female friend here is in a different company, and we work different schedules.
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Posted: Tue Mar 24, 2009 4:06 pm
I absolutely threw myself into my work. I was in college at the time and I became the ultimate student. I went to class, did all the readings, and studied my a** off. I had nearly a 4.0 with 19 credit hours one of the semesters.
I also did a lot of volunteer work. The program I attended required so many hours and I really got into the work. I volunteered at the Children's Hospital and it really gave me that sense of connecting with people and making their lives better that I missed from being with Shawn a lot.
I really got into social networking sites. It's when I first found and was most active on Gaia. Anything to give me that social outlet I missed having. I also made friends with another military wife and we went out a lot to movies and restaurants, things with did with our men that we usually didn't do otherwise.
I found ways to connect with him while he was gone. I sought out songs that reminded me of him, got WAY into making care packages, and he had shitty internet while there so we played WoW together. He was also able to call almost every day and I actually made lists for things I wanted to tell him or funny stories I wanted to share.
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Posted: Fri Mar 27, 2009 1:16 am
My husband is currently halfway through a 12 month deployment.
I won't lie, it is one of the hardest things I have ever gone through, at least emotionally.
Before he leaves there should be meetings with the FRG (family readiness group) and they will provide you with information on coping skills and various other things you will need to know during a deployment. Such as phone numbers for Echo Company, financial planning and just stuff like that in general.
I'm normally not scared of the dark, but the first few nights he was gone I had to have a night light in my bedroom (actually it was a chem light until I got nightlights). Now I am find in the bedroom but I have a few scattered about the apartment.
I sleep on his side of the bed now, when he is here I sleep on the right side, when he left it bugged me that there wasn't something on my left side. So I sleep on his side and its not as strange. I tend to wear his shirts to bed
Before he left, he got me a teddy bear that he gave a hug and a kiss, that way when I am lonely, I can hug it and I am hugging him.
I write him long letters because that way I feel as if I am actually talking to him.
Because I am staying by myself in Alaskaland, for my husbands peace of mind, I do have a handgun that he has trained me with. It stays in the night stand drawer. It helps him feel as if I am safer.
Sorry for the rambling, those are just some of the methods I use to cope.
As always, friends and family help loads. Keeping busy does as well.
I set a weekly ritual, for me its a TV show, that I watch every week, just to mark that a week has passed.
tl;dr: E_M has quirks that help her deal with deployment
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Posted: Fri Mar 27, 2009 2:07 am
Exotic_Memories Because I am staying by myself in Alaskaland, for my husbands peace of mind, I do have a handgun that he has trained me with. It stays in the night stand drawer. It helps him feel as if I am safer. My hubby is doing the same for me when he deploys. It's always a smart idea.. I know it doesn't always sound like a good one but it will indeed make you and your husband feel safer with you being alone. Even a can of pepperspray or a pocket tazer would work just as well. Keep in mind not everything/everyone in the world is nice.. Anyway I grew up with my dad in and out of deployments all year round. So I have a little bit of background. Actually my dad is on his way home right now. :] It just helps to not over worry yourself or over think anything. I did that a few times with this deployment with my dad and it just didn't help anybody. Also, when your husband contacts you, TALK ABOUT YOUI can't stress this enough. The first time my dad called me from Iraq, he had just got into a horrible accident. But he didn't want to talk about it. Infact all he told me was his soldiers were okay ( bless his heart.. ) then asked about me. Your hubbys worry about you. Some of then may even be over there for you. So tell them about how your doing, they didn't call to talk about war. ^_^ If you have been stressed and worried the entire time.. fake it >_< Have a happy conversation ( or mail or email.. ) with your SO. I had a slightly upsetting emails with my dad and they made us both very upset. Also, this is something you should ALWAYS keep in mind. NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS.A letter is a little late.. no phone calls.. no email. In the very least you know nothing has happened to them. If something did trust me you would know. Keep that in the back of your mind, and remember it through the entire deployment. It helped me manyyyy times before. I know long right.. sorry eek
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Posted: Fri Mar 27, 2009 2:12 am
I agree with you Rochili, my husband recently told me he doesn't want to talk about his job much, he wants me to understand, ask if he's ok, then move on to a new topic.
I learned something else in the past week, since he left I have been trying to only tell him good things, positive things, and keep back all the negative things. this week he told me not to do that because then he doesn't feel involved at all. He needs my issues to distract him at times.
I can go about two weeks without hearing from him at times, but, I know he is ok, because if something serious had happened, someone would have contacted me.
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Posted: Fri Mar 27, 2009 2:23 am
Thats very good ^_^ I mean honestly they married you because they believed that you could be strong for them when they just couldn't be.
Thats the best thing for a military spouse to understand, is that there are just things that their SO doesn't want to talk about.
Many marriages fail because of that misunderstanding. ( my parents did for one )
You seem to be doing a very good job ^_^!
Because really.. their in war/training.. and they do see and do things they don't want to talk about and will sometimes almost instantly try and forget, which has to be understood.
That and I'm sure they don't want to hear you complaining because you spilled a glass of milk xD It makes time apart so much easier if you can always keep positive conversations smile even when it's hard.. n_n
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Posted: Fri Mar 27, 2009 2:36 am
My husband got kinda pissy with me when I didn't tell him some of the health problems I have been having. It's going to be an interesting conversation when he finds out the full extent.
He hates not being there with me when I get tests done.
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Posted: Fri Mar 27, 2009 2:40 am
Medical problems seem a little more important then your everyday little things that just piss you off and you need to complain to somebody lol.
He is obviously worried though n_n!
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Posted: Fri Mar 27, 2009 2:44 am
Yeah, but when I say I was trying to keep from saying negative things, it was anything negative, I didn't tell him the car needed fixing until after I had already taken it to the shop.
Also, advice i said in the other thread that should go in here.
If you have R and R, do not let anyone bully you into spending it with them if you don't want to.
R and R is for husband and wife and kids if you have them. It is not like a normal vacation. It is a time to reconnect and to make sure your relationship gets that extra boost. It is difficult to do that if you are constantly around people demanding your time.
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