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 Posted: Tue Feb 21, 2006 11:35 pm
Second Journal Entry
((This entry will be made with an RP bewtween Chegrin and myself))
Chegrin: Red
Dark: Dark Blue
Dian had since left the shop for the day to go home. Azyre listened to the conversation with ears strained, though his mind was on W2s. He'd realized a little after Dark had left that there were two voices emerging from the freezer room, but was in no mood to go sprinting off after the blonde, particularly because Teak and Fresca were off duty, and there was no one else to watch the shop front. Azyre knew Dark would return sooner or later. Judging from the pounding footsteps echoing outside, he guessed sooner- MUCH sooner.
Dark ran in, panting from his streched dash. Grabbing his chest in pain, he kneeled down and tried to slow his breathing. He fell forward on all fours and continued to breathe heavily. Come ON, you can do this Dark, just calm down... take it easy... He listened to his own advice, and a couple of minutes later his breathing had slown down to a somewhat normal level. Leaning back, the tired teenager rested his head on the entryway before he finished what he had started.
"Azyre... Have you seen Azerim? He's not at my house...I think." He stood up and dragged his feet over to an open chair. Sitting down roughly, he tipped back and came forward again; his body flopping with the movements of the chair. Head rolling down to his chest, his breathing was finally normal, and he was ready to keep going. Looking up at the shop owner, a purple mass winked at him from a counter just beyond Azyre's seat. Attracting his attention almost immediately, he cut off Azyre's reply and asked about the purple ring in the background.
"What's the ring in the top back half of the shelf? The purple one, I mean..." He blurted.
Azyre wasn't startled at the burst intrusion. Nor was he all that startled when the teenager suddenly collapsed onto the floor, gasping and wheezing for breath. Azyre's calm cerulean eyes watched concerned passers byers stop and stare through the window before passing by. Unsuprisingly, no one bothered to enter the door and ask if he was okay.
The green haired elf stood and walked to the water cooler where he poured Dark a cup of cold water and walked to him, handing him the cup before he started to talk.
"W-"
"What's the ring in the top back half of the shelf? The purple one, I mean..."
Azyre's gaze narrowed slightly, but not with malice. More with another unsuprised expression that Dark would switch topics so suddenly, particularly after sprinting who knows how far. Should he finish his prior sentance, or switch with the flow?
No, he must finish what he started.
"Well, He's in the back room with the fridge, with Audric." Azyre said, spinning gracefully to then address the inquary about the ring. His wavy green hair cascaded around his shoulders as he searched the top shelf, locating the very ring by the shine of light that bounced on it. Gently he plucked the stone artifact from the velvet stand and walked to yet another shelf by the desk, pulling free a book.
"This one?" He queried, dropping the ring in Dark's hand at the same time he cracked open the book, searching through inventory records for information on the ring.
"Oop. Er--" Dark had three things on his mind. Water. Azerim. The ring. Confused as to which he should answer first, he took a long sip of the cold water and leaned back in his chair; a great deal lifted from him knowing that Azerim was safe. Resting easy, he looked at the ring.
It was beautiful, almost mesmorizing for him to look at. "I'm glad he's safe..." The distracted teenager mumbled. The ring was hypnotic. It really was. "...Where did you get this ring?" It almost hurt to tear his eyes away from it to look at Azyre running his hand through the thick book.
The shopkeep nodded solemnly. He omitted the usual comforting speach on how they were nearly invulnerable to real danger and how none of them have had any reported deaths aside from the caretaker forgetting their existance which rarely happened, and yadda yadda. He'd given it many times before.
The elf flipped through the pages with interest, until he found the page that held the picture of the ring in question.
"Paya's ring- Urcaquary" He began, skimming down to find his own notes on where he found it.
"Following the faint power signature, I found myself inside a archeogical containing room, where different artifacts from south america were being reveiewed for a possible exhibition. Most of the items there were extremely sacred, and tagged and labeled innappropriately. It was a good thing the gods are largely dormant now, or there'd be many a dead american in this very hall. But the votiv figures were not what I was here for. At last I found it, still encrusted in dry yellow dirt, but intact. Urcaquary's summon. It was a simple matter to reproduce the dirt covered ring. Americans could not interpret what this truly meant, so they couldn't tell what was false as long as the stone was around the same age."
Azyre stopped with wistful reccolection as he looked onto the ring. That was one of the more entertaining aquisitions. He folded the book and leaned back, smiling wistfully.
Dark turned the ring in his hand, having the light blink at him from it's many different angles. "Wow..." He whispered hearing what Azyre said. "...And this if for sale...?" He turned to look at the shop keep. "Do you think, may be, I uh... might be able to buy it?" Dark's eyes filled with hope, and he looked Azyre straight in the eyes. "I uh... would probably have to get on another payment plan, though." He giggled a little bit. He never had enough money.
Azyre stood without a sound and set the book down. He smiled that Dark did not think anything that he had taken an archeological artifact and replaced it with a false ring. He did not even seem to think it unusual Azyre could find these rings, or that he sold the posessed items to people. Leaning forward a little, Azyre's green curls swept forward on his shoulders around his elongated ears. The dryad approached the teen turning over the ring in his hands, and reached out to still them.
Holding his hands perfectly still with Urcaquary's ring centered between the two of them, Azyre slowly cupped Dark's hands in his own. Long legs bent, and the dryad decended to a kneel, almost appearing suspended in prayer as he turned his head, and focused his right ear over the bowl that was their hands.
Bright cerulean eyes closed and Azyre's breath stilled as he strained to hear the softest of noises to ever be emitted. But it was there, whispering quietly in spanish, the pleads of an angel who needed to bond with another, or have his voice forever lost. Urcaquary was on his last of legs, the whisper of a dying man who had called for help for centuries.
And that was all Azyre needed to hear. Standing again, his eyes opened and the elf nodded to Dark.
"Take it, my friend. We shall find a way for you to repay me in time."
Dark looked quizzical at Azyre; but subconsciously knew he wasn't acting out of "weirdness". Dark sat and listened, but couldn't help but think about how much the ring had been through.
What kind of answers could come from Urcaquary? Would he know Azerim? Iruini? His mind raced as Azyre stood up.
"Take it, my friend. We shall find a way for you to repay me in time."
Dark couldn't help but smile. He clenched the ring tightly in a fist and reached into his pocket with the other.
"This is all I have right now..." He said shyly handing Azyre a small bag of money. "There's more in there than you might think, but it's not all of it," he chuckled. "Azerim will be so happy to hear there's gonig to be someone else around soon." He nodded and turned away to tell Azerim the good news.
Azyre did not usually act out of wierdness. His behavior on occation might seem queer to others, but often were grounded with a definate purpose. Urcaquary was an angel the dryad had longed to see freed for a long time, and he hoped the incan summon might be able to stabalize the relationship between Azerim and Dark by forming a triangle, a pyramidal shape known as the most stable, and one the aztecs employed for their temples.
Reaching out, he accepted the coinpurse from Dark with a smile and casually dropped it into his own pocket. Retreating back to his desk, he sat down and pulled out the paperwork again, to fill out that Urcaqary's summon had been sold, and to finish his taxes.
Audric meanwhile was engaged in a very heated snowball fight with Azerim.
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Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2006 7:20 pm
Third Journal Entry
I sit in bed with a feeling of pain in my gut. It's been like this for a while now. Whenever I'm alone, I think about it -- and the pain rushes at me. It gets me angry, feeds me un-needed energy. I then resent all who are around me and in conversation with me, and in a split second I chage from a helpful big brother into a pian in the a**.
I lay and stare off blankly at the wall, wondering why i'm so frustratingly angry. When nothing comes to mind, my rage increases. I stay awake even longer.
A lot's been going on lately, and I seem to be stressed. I don't like to think so, because then people whine to me that teenagers are supposed to be stressful. I wonder why people think the way they do. What justifications do they have for their actions other than saying "I fell like it". I've felt that way before. All of us have at one point. Well, looking at in now after writing this down, I am very troubled. And you know why?
Me.
I have myself to blame. I'm the one who made things like this, took that extra step too far out of the house and winded up screwed.
Through further investigation I seem to have taken anger from another part of my life, and inflict it on others. And I take note of people I cause pain to who I give to them by just being around them.
In the last few days I seem to have become a burden to a LOT of people. How did this happen? Why have I changed? Why am I so angry? I must find out so I can stop myself from hurting any more people.
It's a bit dark in my attic room, but I can see Urcaquary's ring on my table. It glows at night, a light purple. Like some sort of a beacon, the last star in the entire galaxy. Telling all that hope is not lost. Looking at the glowing markings cools my emotions. It's very deep. It feels like Azerim. Though a bit wiser, more focused.
If a lifetime of pain has to be endured for a single moment of happiness-- then so be it. I've found that happiness in so many places, and I need to stop pushing it away.
I need to hold onto it, and never let go. I need to work together with friends and loved ones to pull through. Still looking at the ring, its light flickers at me. I can tell it agrees with me.
I won't give in; I won't die now.
Thank you, Urcaquary.
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Posted: Mon Mar 20, 2006 9:10 am
Fourteenth Journal entry
Well, it's finally happened. He begged and begged and begged, and he got his wish. I couldn't say no a face like that (let alone the thousands of stone structures he made for me). I've only seen Azerim that happy around Audric; but in any case...
I told him he could go to school with me. What a bad idea that was. In fact, I'm not even sure I even thought about it that much. He had mentioned wanting to go some time ago, but when he asked yesterday... It was different. He just kind of smiled in an evil sort of way, and I couldn't say no... More or less. (I think)
The day started off slowly, and it was actually really fun. Since we've learned to communicate through our thoughts, Azerim and I were able to talk as much as we wanted when we wanted. Although... I had to stop thinking about certain stray thoughts... Because if I did he would pinch me and giggle very, very loudly... It was nice though.
I have two extra curricular classes in the morning, and so the two of us basically fooled around. Azerim ran around the room, and manipulated the stone to have people's backpacks mysteriously move away from them, or on a bit more extreme mark, turn the stone into quicksand... THAT was hillarious!!
Aw man, that was so funny... But yes. The rest of the day was kind of boring. Geometry had Azerim snooping inot other peoples things, causing a bit of troulbe (nothing too dangerous or bad mind you) and he was actually kind of scared in English. He stayed in my pocket the whole time! He thought the teacher looked like some kind of crazy maniac killer! That was also really funny. And then there was Physics; Physics was really fun. It always is, but with the lever and pulley system labs we were doing, Azerim actually got to go out into the open and help us build it!
He's sitting next to me right now, and he wants me to mention U.S. History after that. Yeah... All I'm going to say is that those certain thoughts popped up, and apparently, I giggle like a little girl! HA! (I'm leaving that in there for Azerim, who is wearing a very mad face right now, that's what you get!)
So that was a rather interesting day. By the end though, both of us were so tired from walking around or from having our guts busted that we fell asleep on the car ride home instantly. That was the day I brought Azerim to school!
The weekend was pretty fun, I saw a movie called V For Vendetta. It was a mix of the book 1984 with the matrix. The main character, only known as 'V', wears a mask (some kind of shiny metal or stone) that resembles Guy Fawkes; more or less one of the three guys from The Three Musketeers. Anyways, it was an awesome movie, and what caught my interest was what waited me at home...
It was late, and I was tired; but alas! Home I was. I went up to my room and instantly dove onto my bed. My pillow was so soft, and I had a hard time staying awake long after that. A sharp crack! woke me from my slumber. Having no light in the room, (let alone having a room in an attic) there was no possible way I could see what had happeded. It sounded like stone, and I called out; "Azerim? Was that you?" something small scurried across the floor next to my bed, and I flinched. "Azerim?!" Something jumped onto the wooden board at the head of my bed, and I jumped up. I was ready to grab something and just start swinging away.
"Turn on the light!" Azerim said from out of the darkness. "Azerim, what the heck are you doing?" "Just turn on the light, please! I want to show you something." I didn't want to get up, but I knew Azerim wouldn't stop pestering me until I did. So yeah, I trudged over to the lights and flicked them on.
There stood Azerim in a black cloak, with a black hat on, wearing the same shiny white mask 'V' wears. "What the...? How did you...?" I hadn't told Azerim that I saw a movie at all. Maybe he'd seen it in a commercial? "Dark, you do know that we have a psychic link together, right?" I nodded absently, trying to piece it together. "Well, when you saw the movie, I had wondered where you were at, and so I took a look through your eyes and mind. Thus, I ended up watching the movie with you, without you knowing it! Kinda cool, huh?" I let out a small laugh. "That's awesome Azerim, but you really shouldn't be watching movies like that untill you're a bit older. "Awww hush your face, I'm not going to go around killing people with knives. Though I do like the attire." Azerim bowed and spunm around, the black claok swinging, and his white mask shining.
"Well, all right I guess... Do you know what time it is?" I sat on the bed and rubbed my eyes. I needed sleep badly. "Time for you to go to sleep!" And with that, Azerim tossed off the cloak and mask -- jumped into me -- and forced me to sleep. It was quite nice to cuddle with him while falling back asleep. He hadn't slept in my bed with me for a while. He stopped doing it once he became a bit older, but I guess sometimes we never really grow up inside...
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Posted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 9:04 am
Fourth Journal Entry
&
Fifteenth Journal Entry
Dark was having a bad dream. He had been pushed to the full level of stress, and at the last second -- completely gave into it. He couldn't stand it. Mostly beacuse of the fact that it was his fault. He was the cause for all of this. The architect of his own destruction. (more or less) As he tossed and turned As the nightmares took over, Azerim sat on the wooden dresser across from him, wide awake.
For many many nights now, Azerim had been feeling like something's been out of place in his life with Dark. Something was coming. he could tell by the horrible dreams his owner was having. He sat there witha grin on his face, trying to figure out just what was going on. Iruini? Maybe? The shadow... things that tried to kill Iruini before? he did not know.
He'd venture into meditation.net and see if any of his friends had been feeling the same thing. Sitting alone in complete darkness,Azerim tried to understand it all. These feelings, this over amount of stress Dark put on himself. He just didn't understand it.
Holding Urcaquary's ring that was draped around himself, Azerim asked for advice. Though he knew he wouldn't get a response. Sighing heavily, Azerim stood up and put down Urcaquary's ring. As soon as it hit the ground, it disolved into a mist of viloet and urple. "CRAP!!" Azerim jumped backwards, and almost fell off the table. Quickly making up for his lost footing, he looked back at the spot where the ring had sat seconds before. "Where is it!?" He frantically searched, but he could not find it. Standing there even more confused than he was before; Azerim realized he was naked.
He giggled and jumped off the dresser, and went to change. He had been wanting to change now for a while. He liked to hang out around Audric a lot; and he'd decided; after a few incidents that he needed something more to cover him than a belt and suspenders; though he loved those things dearly. Quickly changing; he wore dark brown baggy pants, with beige ends. (like a stripe) They hung loosely around him by the same suspenders, and the belt held the pants from going any lower than a few centimeters below the waist-line. Running back to the dresser, he loved the feel of his new loose clothing. Loose enough to be playful in all respects, and yet still protective from wind, cold, heat -- whatever. He loved it.
Looking around on the dresser again, he took a few steps forward -- and realized something was behind him. Not even bothering to look behind him, Azerim jumped into the air and back flipped over a tan leg in mid kick. The being was no bigger than he -- if not a bit smaller, and flew forward with his kicks miss. Azerim landed smoothly on the ground, sliding to the edge of the table. He clapped his hands together and turned his right hand into a sharp knife. The other being turned around to, a snug smile of his face. The two charged each other.
Azerim jumped into the air, spinning as he did so; showing off more than acting on self defense. The other being stopped and stood there as Azerim descended with his blade. In a blinding flash of violet, Azerim was stopped in his tracks, his blade stopped by a dark purple covered wing! "What the..." Azerim muttered trying to look at his opponents face. The winged crature let out another smirk and threw Azerim off balance by flapping his wings. Azerim tried to re-gain his footing, but his opponent was twice as fast -- with the help of his wings. Azerim was on the floor before he knew it, and instinct told him to move, as another flash of violet revealed that this guys wings could also be used as serrated edges. Azerim hopped up onto all fours, and looked up at his opponent -- who was recovering from the serrated slash he had just given. "Got you!" He had found an opening, and gladly took it. Leaping forward Azerim clapped his hadns together in mid air, and turned both hands into the top half of a cage. The winged creature didn't see it coming at all, and a gasp left his lungs as he was slammed into the ground, Azerim sitting on top of him; the cage holding his arms and wings in place.
"Nice to meet you too, Urcaquary." Azerim smirked. After all, he had a reputation now that he was the older brother. "Get off me!" Urcaquary struggled beneath him, but the cage held him in place. "Why are you fighting me? What's the point?" Azerim asked, a tiny bit of sarcasticness in his voice. Urcaquary was silent, except for grunts and struggles to try and escape. Azerim waited for a response, but he did not recieve one. Eventually Urcaquary relaxed, and Azerim slowly let him out of the cages grip. Instantly, Urcaquary flew off, pissed off for one reason or another.
The joys of having a younger sibling... He thought to himself, almost laughing. Jumping off the dresser and going back to his chinese food box, he fell asleep peacefully, his new pants keeping him warm. Some time in the future I'll have to get a shirt too, he giggled to himself. Drifting off to sleep, he saw that Dark was finally at peace, and sleeping soundly. A shadow stirred outside.
'We have a problem...' It told the others in a messed up violin-like voice. It slid away, completely un-noitced.
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Posted: Tue Jul 18, 2006 9:37 pm
Sixteenth Journal Entry
This is Azerim here... Starting my own log, I guess. A lot of things have been on my mind lately, and well... I guess I'll just start.
Excitement. Energy. As far back as I can remember, I’ve always been open, been energetic. I don’t quite understand why I have all of this extra energy, but most people, or angels… or demons… or rabbits say that it’s a sort of gift. But is it really? I see Dark now a days better than ever before, but there is still something wrong. Well, what I mean is, something is always wrong, but this… This problem he has is not spawned from other people hurting him. Not at all. He’s very quiet. Quiet like I used to be, so I’ve been told…
So through my studies over that last few days, it would seem that Dark has kept to himself very tightly. Very recluse, very alone. He walks the hallways, stares at the computer screens blankly. And every time someone asks him what’s going on, his face just lights up, and he just about spills his guts on the table. Telling them everything, weather it be a
personal problem or a normal problem. Ironically though, he stops. He always stops, right before he goes too deep. I don’t know why. Perhaps to save his friends from five minutes of “whining” or venting? I’m not sure, but as soon as he stops – his emotions then switch back to the previous track I described earlier. Dark sounds like he needs to talk to someone. No, not the kind of therapist that brainwashes people and/or does what ever he pleases with them. He needs a friend. Er—well, he has
friends, he just needs to not be scared to ask someone to listen. And I above all else, am not a listener.
Back to what I was saying before. The energy, the excitement. I can’t seem to sit still, even when meditating. I need to be able to sit still, so I can listen. Listen to Dark. Listen to Audric… and Urcaquary. I love them all, and in order to be the friend I want to be, this has to be done. It’s not
bad, right? Learning to listen to friends is a good thing, in my book at least. I hope Dark’s okay; I think he’s sitting out-front right now. Maybe I’ll hunt down Urcaquary and ask him to go with me. He’s a part of
this family just as much as I am – even though he’s very closed himself.
Yeah, I think that’s what I’m going to do…
We all need to sit and have a chat...
I wonder if Iruini was a good listener…
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Posted: Tue Jul 18, 2006 10:03 pm
Fifth Journal Entry
Urcaquary here, writing for the first time in english... I have other entries, but they're all in Incan. When I was finally able to break the spell the Incan god of earth and death sealed me in, (Pachamac and Supai) the first thing I wanted to do was scream. Fight. Rip. Tear. how long had it been? I can't remember. But it was a long long time ago; and here I was free once again.
But my old life was gone. Now, some teenager stands as my master... and he has a pet... demon... who's apparently my brother. Brother my butt! His name is Azerim, and he carries with him the same traits I do... Earth, and death -- er-- demon, in this case.
You know, other than the fact that I'm Incan and he's Aztec. As far as I'm concerned right now though, I really don't care.
I just want to know what happened. My past. And why Azerim is here. WHY is he here!? I'm going to get to the bottom of this, I--
Oops. I almost forgot why I brought out this journal in the first place. Let me start over:
Azerim has just come to me a few moments ago bearing some interesting news, (not really) the teenager is angsty! Who knew? Well, apparently he hasn't been like this in a while -- so he says-- and get this! Asks me as a brother, as a family member, to go up to our owner, as ASK him what's wrong?
I can't believe it! I really can't... Azerim was never like that. In fact, Azerim would have probably killed before asking me that in our previous life... Why has he changed?
I guess -- mmm, now I really know something weird is going on. He's more human than demon... in retrospect. It's very interesting. And I guess that's why I resent him so much, and try to fight him when I cronfront him...
Still, thinking about it all, this teenager... our owner... sounds like he needs help. And if by Imahmana Viracocha and Tocapo Virachocha, if Azerim is willing to help, so am I.
I better get going; my ranting has cost us a few minutes.
I've been feeling a lot of external dark energy lately... could Azerim have possibly...?
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Posted: Tue Jul 18, 2006 10:11 pm
First Journal Entry
Confounded time elapse! They promised us a time without fear! Without injustice! Without... demons! And when I awake? Awake in the body of a woodland rodent!? THIS IS AN OUTRAGE! Oh-ho-ho-hooo... The gods will surely hera about this! And when they do...
Uh, well that was a fun way to start my recordings. This is Alabaster, caretaker of the Inca Urcaquary, and his tribe. More of a caretaker I'd say, more like a protector. A guardian. A god! Almost...
Oh dear oh dear oh dear. I have so much to say! And so little time! Well, I guess I'll start by stating the obvious...
I'M A RABBIT!! A BUNNY!! THE VERY THING WE USED TO HUNT!!
I'm writing this down with my mouth, using a rather odd device... I've never seen one such as this before... It's a minurature spear with a black tip -- and with it you can use it as a writing utensil. The only downside is I cannot erase anything I write down... Still though... Interesting...
As a matter of fact, there are more things that I do not know in this world than there were in my last lifetime! And after all the turmoil we went through... Urcaquary and I wind up at this house-hold unit with a youngling as our 'so called' OWNER? WHAT HAVE THE GODS DONE TO US? Is this a joke? When I was assigned this mission, it was frankly beyond me that I'd be going forward in time as a bunny rabbit, and Urcaquary as himself. UGH. The gods will hear about this! THEY--
... Oh uhh hehe, It's you! I've uh -- no. Nope. Ah, yes. Uh-huh...
... What? No! No! I-I didn't mean anything by -- yes, that's right. I was just...
... Okay. Okay, okay!! I won't -- nope! Never! Haha... This is Alabaster you're talking to! I- Yes, I know you know who you're talking to, but I was just stating that--
Okay... Yeah. Thanks...
The gods have just informed me of the current situation. Hehe... Those grimy two timing... They have informed me that our "owner" is in a bit of an emotional crisis. And that... well, this is hard to believe, but Azerim has asked Urcaquary to speak to him, and possibly help him...
WHAT?! Azerim asking that?! No wonder the gods sent me here as a bunny... Uh, I mean, as myself! Which is not a bunny! I must get closer to this trio so I may figure out what's going on...
The gods must be out of their minds...
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Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2007 9:41 pm
Seventeenth Journal Entry
It's been a long while now. So long since I've seen anyone. Dark, Urcaquary, Audric... THe only one who looks for me is Alabaster. As if our lives could not be more switched, more distorted, than they already are. There's so much more to me than there ever has been. Demons, Angels, they're supposed to be re-born, or something or another. But... why can everyone else move on to a new path, a new destiny, a new owner- and I am not able to? I do not know.
I do not understand.
It started with Alabaster. Alabaster seems to be a servant of some long-past culture, to... to watch over me? Me, as in the past me as an angel. An ANGEL. How ridiculous is that? I didn't believe it until... it came to Dark's house.
A machine, infused with the soul of someone, (he would not say) told me that whatever evil, or darkness, that had imprisoned me for so long... is back. Back, and wanting to finish what it started all those years ago. Only problem is... what imprisoned me apparenlty turned me into a Demon. And now the Darkness is after Urcaquary. After him because he is a spitting image of me...
Er- should be. not so much now, but enough so that the darkness has attacked twice now already.
That's why I'm hiding...
That's why we're hiding...
i've got to stop it, somehow. Apparently, in the past, it was a creature named Iruini that tried to protect me from...me, myself. I was power hungry, I... just remembered. Remembered what happened...
It's my fault. Everyone, especially Dark, is involved in this because of me. Becasue of my past me.
But if we're so different now, does that mean I have been re-born too...?
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Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2007 10:05 pm
Second Journal Entry
Conflabbed... Again! It seems to be a re-occuring theme that this Darkness keeps following us through this infested society. It is even more power here than it was back then...
The forests were the only places that it used to tread. Outside the city limits. And Azerim... He has the biggest role to paly here of all, almost as big as Iruini had pretoecting him...
I get weak every time I see him. He's so not ready, so ill-prepared for the fight that he must take a part in. I feel even worse for Urcaquary- who unbeknownst to Azerim- IS in fact the reincarnation of his past self!!
How weird is that. His sadness, his silent war with himself over what he has done, and what he can now do to make it right. I cannot trust him right now. Dwelling in his own thoughts, I can sense the power emitting from him. The sheer ammount of pain that was once fueling him, and now bubbling dormantly inside him. I cannot speak to Azerim around him. He is yet another vital part of ending this. What happenes depends on what Urcaquary wants to do...
And to watch them fight back and forth like the brothers they are only scares me more. I wish Iruini could be here to give us all protection from them.... from it...
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Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2007 10:14 pm
Sixth journal Entry
So it is in fact true... When I awoke in this body, I had denied it was me again... but it seems I am still who I used to be. And now, in some poor Angel's body. Azerim's body.
Though, we are the same being. The one thing stopping me from committing crimes far beyond what this world can think of, is that he is me. We have somehow split, I do not know how, I being... the leftover emotion from before, and Azerim being what hope was left in me. If that makes any sense at all.
First, first I should speak to the Darkness. I wonder why it is back, why it is after me--after Azerim. And what had happened to Iruini. I know the legends of our (now past) culture, and what Alabaster and Azerim's deams/talks have said is not what was written. Perhaps they are wrong. Perhaps that fate finally messed up by switching our bodies. Hmm....
An interesting thought, one I should look into. But first, the Darkness. I need to find a way to speak with it without me getting harmed. how to do this, how to do this.
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Posted: Mon May 26, 2008 6:18 pm
Dear Dark,
I'm not quite sure what to say, it's been so long, and even as I pull out this book and begin to write, I remeber the days long past with everyone. everyone who I used to love, and everyone who used to be friends with me, and, as if it were some joke, I'm still here, still the same old me, singing the same old song, and everyone else.... is gone. Gone, completely...
It's been months, even years now since I've seen Azerim or Urcaquary. Urcaquary passes by from time to time. We chat every now and then, and I must say, he's become more friendly.
I think he knows.
As for Azerim, he's been gone longer, and with his control over stone, he could be gone for the rest of my life, I do not know. But I think he knows too. Knows that neither him nor his brother will grow anymore. I realize this because I myself have not changed at all over these last years. Well, in retrospect, I have, but in a different way.
The past years have been muddled with a pointless relationship I was persuing, one that came to a most bitter end. I think though, what killed it the most, was that my almost I really wanted/hoped to-be "partner" just failed misserably when it came to really being there. I remember countless nights of staying up late waiting thier call, or to see them on our computer. Hours I've seemed to have wasted drawing for them, or trying to reach them. And finding out that "they forgot" or in truth "didn't want to go with anyone" Or even occasionally "I didn't want to go with you."
Such wasted hours. No no no, I shouldn't say that. I learned. I'm older, wiser, and more knowledgable about the world then I was back then. Seeing as how my views of light and darkness have played out, I am the same me, only older.
I can see it in Urcaquary's eyes, and I could probably tell with Azerim's too, why is it that everyone around us is constantly changing their feelings? Constantly changing what they think, going back on their word, or being contradictory for no apparent reason, or even ditching someone when they wanted to hang out with you??? Why are people changing so much, and ruining friendships, ruining relationships?
If anything, the one constant throughout this equation- is me. Is me, my demon and my angel. thinking about what I said when I started writting this letter, I wonder...
I wonder where the ones who no longer talk to me are, I wonder why they stopped, I wonder if they'll ever grow out of their grudges, out of thier boxes, or even just plain grow up in general and face me again. I don't know what's wrong, I've said my dues, I've done everything like I would years before, and still have done it the same way today, and yet..... they still don't come back. I don't even know if they want to come back. I hope they will.
A very grand story told me that friendship is not looked at by how much time you spend with another, but the few moments that make it all worthwhile.
I wonder where Azerim is, I wonder where the people who disappeared from my life are.... I wonder.... if they think of me.
Well, the only way I'm going to find out is if I get up and look for them, because the universe knows those people probably won't come back to me, for whatever reasons those might be. I'd like to know. I think I'll take Urcaquary...
We have a lot of searching to do.
Love,
Dark
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