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 Posted: Fri Dec 05, 2008 10:13 am
Discuss:
Group sex/Orgies - Cheating or not? Subjectively, if both parties have agreed - no. Personally, I would feel that in my heart, yes it feels like cheating.
Being cheated on. Gah - I've had it happen too many times.
Worrying that your significant other might sleep with someone else. I have that worry.
If I'm being irrational. No.
Monogamy vs. Polygamy I prefer monogamy, but as long as its not hurting anyone, each to their own.
BAWWWW!!! I feel your pain (see below)
How ******** emo I am. Nah - just not willing to go along with something that you're clearly not comfortable with.
How your day was. Ok. Will be better once I finish work xd
My boyfriend said that his biggest fantasy was to have a threesome. We had one. I ended up in tears locked in the bathroom while they (presumably) carried on with out me. He denies this. I have no reason to doubt him, other than my own fears.
We swore we would never do this again.
About 7 months later.....
He gets very drunk and tells me that in fact, his biggest turn on was for me and him to have sex whilst a female someone watched and got somewhat involved. To this end he drunkenly tried to come on to my friend (who is in the middle of dealing with a very bad break up and heartbreak and therapy and depression and God knows what else) and does not get the hint when me and my friend both say no repeatedly. He apologised to her in the morning. The subject is now closed (I hope.)
If you feel it would be cheating, do not put yourself through that. And do feel justified in your thoughts and feelings. They are not odd or unreasonable.
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Posted: Sat Dec 13, 2008 3:58 pm
I've realized now that I wasn't being unreasonable... I just worry often because my girlfriend and I have lived very different lives.
She was a bit of a party girl. She didn't do drugs, and she didn't drink a lot... But from what she's told me, that's only because her friends wont let her. She cheated on a lot of her past boyfriends. Almost all of them. She never got caught, because she was smart about it. She never did it in her hometown, only when she was out of town. She got sexual with her boyfriends within a very short amount of time... She also had a few hook-ups with random people she didn't know. Not sex, but still. Her last hook-up (as far as I know) happened just two or three weeks before we got together. About one month into our relationship, we got into an argument about it and she said "That was such a long time ago! I'm a different person now." Such a short time had passed, that I knew I had a good reason to worry. Whats worse is that none of these are assumptions, these are things that she has actually told me.
As for me... Well... I've never cheated on any of my girlfriends. I never went very far in short amounts of time with my girlfriends. I didn't want to uphold the "men only want sex" thing, and I didn't care about them enough to do anything of the sort with them. I've never kissed, made out with, or hooked up with someone I didn't know. I stay away from the party scene. I've never drank, and I've never done drugs. That's just how I am.
Now, Smutterfly, does that explain more why I got the lied to feeling? With her having lived a life like that for so long, and then expecting me to believe that she left it behind in such a brief period... I get worried. Frequently, she'd start out with a "I'm going to tell you something... Try not to be too mad at me." and never followed through with actually telling me. That made me worry, especially since that conversation came about most often after she had been out of town (and as I previously stated, she only ever cheated when she was out of town).
So, its not the sexual preferences that made me feel so hurt, its just that she's told me all of these things... and when she said that she wanted to try group sex, that worried me.. Because "before me", she would have just gone off and done it.
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Posted: Sat Dec 13, 2008 6:24 pm
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Posted: Sat Dec 13, 2008 9:22 pm
No.
I won't break up with her unless something happens.
I've always been one of "those people".
The kind of person who worries about every single little thing. The one that takes every step strategically to avoid catastrophe. That's why I've been so untrusting.
I've had such a cynical mindset for so long now, I don't even remember what it's like to trust anyone fully.
Its interesting... I haven't trusted anyone for so long. 7 years without trusting anyone. Not my family, nor my friends, nor my girlfriends. Now my current girlfriend comes along and all of the doors that I closed a long time ago start flying open. With such a change, things are bound to be shaken up. I tried my best to keep from falling so hard, but something happened.
For some reason, I've come to trust her more than I've ever trusted anyone. I've told her things I couldn't even think about for the longest time. And because of that, I'll try for her.
I'll try to rid myself of my suspicions and convictions... My worries, too.
All for her.
And all I can do is hope that she wont let me down... And despite all of my past suspicions and trust issues, I doubt she will let me down.
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Posted: Sun Dec 14, 2008 6:08 am
I suggested a threesome w/my ex-gf w/the idea of sabotaging my relationship w/her. Well, that was somewhere in the back of my head/subconscious. She was just psycho (but was in incredibly good shape).
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Posted: Sun Dec 14, 2008 10:40 am
Painful Anesthesia No.
I won't break up with her unless something happens.
I've always been one of "those people".
The kind of person who worries about every single little thing. The one that takes every step strategically to avoid catastrophe. That's why I've been so untrusting.
I've had such a cynical mindset for so long now, I don't even remember what it's like to trust anyone fully.
Its interesting... I haven't trusted anyone for so long. 7 years without trusting anyone. Not my family, nor my friends, nor my girlfriends. Now my current girlfriend comes along and all of the doors that I closed a long time ago start flying open. With such a change, things are bound to be shaken up. I tried my best to keep from falling so hard, but something happened.
For some reason, I've come to trust her more than I've ever trusted anyone. I've told her things I couldn't even think about for the longest time. And because of that, I'll try for her.
I'll try to rid myself of my suspicions and convictions... My worries, too.
All for her.
And all I can do is hope that she wont let me down... And despite all of my past suspicions and trust issues, I doubt she will let me down. I like the sentiment, but really dude, the evidence is...a bit...stacked against you. I mean, hell, I wish you the best of luck, but don't get yourself hurt. And just so you know, there is nothing wrong with being cynical. I'm cynical myself wink .
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Posted: Sun Dec 14, 2008 5:27 pm
The self is always needing reminders that it is here, that it exists. It is always needing this reassurance. What better reassurance is there than when you feel that somebody else loves you?
But you cannot love another person. It is impossible. You can only love what it is about yourself that he/she reflects back to you.
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Posted: Sun Dec 14, 2008 11:15 pm
Cosmic_Castaway Painful Anesthesia No.
I won't break up with her unless something happens.
I've always been one of "those people".
The kind of person who worries about every single little thing. The one that takes every step strategically to avoid catastrophe. That's why I've been so untrusting.
I've had such a cynical mindset for so long now, I don't even remember what it's like to trust anyone fully.
Its interesting... I haven't trusted anyone for so long. 7 years without trusting anyone. Not my family, nor my friends, nor my girlfriends. Now my current girlfriend comes along and all of the doors that I closed a long time ago start flying open. With such a change, things are bound to be shaken up. I tried my best to keep from falling so hard, but something happened.
For some reason, I've come to trust her more than I've ever trusted anyone. I've told her things I couldn't even think about for the longest time. And because of that, I'll try for her.
I'll try to rid myself of my suspicions and convictions... My worries, too.
All for her.
And all I can do is hope that she wont let me down... And despite all of my past suspicions and trust issues, I doubt she will let me down. I like the sentiment, but really dude, the evidence is...a bit...stacked against you. I mean, hell, I wish you the best of luck, but don't get yourself hurt. And just so you know, there is nothing wrong with being cynical. I'm cynical myself wink . Yes, I realize that the evidence is stacked against me... But I'm going to stay with her.
By this point, I've accepted her past completely. I've accepted that there's nothing I can do to change it, and if there was I would still leave it alone. Her actions have all led to her becoming the completely amazing girl that I fell in love with.
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Posted: Mon Dec 15, 2008 5:52 am
Painful Anesthesia
Discuss:
Group sex/Orgies - Cheating or not?
Being cheated on.
Worrying that your significant other might sleep with someone else.
If I'm being irrational.
Monogamy vs. Polygamy
BAWWWW!!!
How ******** emo I am.
How your day was.
Group sex = totally cheating. Worrying? = Wow I never worry at all. Of course, my man doesn't WANT to or at least hasn't told me about it. Irrational? = You are perfectly F-ing rational, my friend. Monogamous lovers have fewer diseases. Group sex can have side effect known as "death". Not emo at all. You just don't want AIDS. Pretty good, I'm going to have fruit and nut cereal for breakfast after waking up to my man, same as every day with the same man for the last 13 years.
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Posted: Wed Dec 17, 2008 11:22 am
I have an ex boyfriend who dumped me because we were having too much sex. sweatdrop redface
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Posted: Wed Dec 17, 2008 2:01 pm
7raindrops I have an ex boyfriend who dumped me because we were having too much sex. sweatdrop redface
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Posted: Wed Dec 17, 2008 8:47 pm
Cosmic_Castaway 7raindrops I have an ex boyfriend who dumped me because we were having too much sex. sweatdrop redface I have to agree eek eek eek eek eek eek eek eek eek eek eek eek eek eek eek eek exclaim eek sweatdrop redface heart
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Posted: Thu Dec 18, 2008 5:05 am
7raindrops I have an ex boyfriend who dumped me because we were having too much sex. sweatdrop redface I could see how that could happen, if the relationship had come to be all about sex and nothing else.
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Posted: Sun May 17, 2009 9:17 am
I agree! lol.. Sex is good and fun but I would rather have some sort of relationship behind all that kinky good fun. Without that.... you have a sexual partner you are almost obligated to be with but without the lovey dovey that you should get out of it all.
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