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 Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2005 5:14 pm
Aisa, that tire joke is wonderful. XD Very, VERY good.
I'd post one, but I can't think of any except blonde jokes, and we've got enough of those, so... XD Some other time...
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Posted: Sun Sep 25, 2005 9:06 am
This one is better told than read, but here goes nothing.
A blonde walks into a salon for a haircut. She had headphones on and appeared to be listening very intently to whatever was playing.
The beautician greets her and asks her to remove her headphones so she can cut her hair. The blonde replies, "I can't because I will die."
The beautician seats her down and asks her again and again, only to receive the exact same reply. Finally, aggrivated, the beautician yanks off the headphones and goes to the back room to get the necessary supplies.
When she arrives back to where the blonde sits, she discovers the blonde, dead. Alarmed, but remembering the blonde's headphones and her reason for refusing to remove them, the beautician puts on the headphones.
The blonde was not listening to music, but instead a repeating message.
"Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out."
Okay okay...I'll admit it - I don't type jokes very well. At least I tried xp
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Posted: Sun Sep 25, 2005 9:12 am
XD Love that joke, Becca. My mom's told it to me before...
Here's one:
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead were stranded on a deserted island. They had no food, no fresh water, and they knew they'd have to get off the island to survive. The only way off was to swim 100 miles to land.
The brunette decided to try first. She swam 20 miles, then drowned.
The redhead tried next. She was a better swimmer than the brunette; she swam 40 miles, then drowned.
The blonde was the only one left. But she was an excellent swimmer, and she thought she might be able to do it! She swam 50 miles out, got tired, and swam back.
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Posted: Sun Sep 25, 2005 3:26 pm
Nice one, Kori xP
I have another dumb blonde joke. Again, I apologize if my telling of it does not allow the joke to live up to its full potential.
A blonde and her husband were sitting in bed one night when the blonde suddenly pulls out a gun and holds it to her head, clearly about to kill herself.
Her husband begs her not to kill herself, and she replies, "Shut up - you're next."
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Posted: Sun Sep 25, 2005 4:07 pm
XD Becca, that's great. VERY good joke, haven't heard that one before...
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead were on a DIFFERENT deserted island. They were wandering around, lost, when they stumbled upon a magical lamp! They rubbed it and a genie came out. The genie said, "Thank you for releasing me from that lamp! I will grant you three wishes, and since there are three of you, you will get one wish each!"
The redhead immediately said, "I wish I were back home!" The genie sent her home.
Seeing that the redhead's wish had apparently worked, the brunette said, "I wish I were back home, too!"
The blonde looked around, and saw that both her friends were gone. She was now all alone on the island. She began to cry, and then said, "I wish my friends were back here with me!"
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Posted: Sun Sep 25, 2005 4:10 pm
omg that tire joke was a classic=P I'm going to remember that one lol
I've heard a lot of those before, like the potatoe one, and I love 'em all lol
Time to contribute a couple of my own:
"Three little boys go to the river, but have no way across. A Genie comes and grants each one wish. The first boy wishes to be smart enough to get across, so the genie says poof and the first boy swims across.
The secound boy says he wants to be even smarter and get across the river, so the genie says poof and grants him a boat, to sail across.
The third little boy says he wants to the smartest of them all, and get across the river. So the genie says poof and changes him into a little girl, who runs across the bridge."
hehehe I love that one. Here's one more for your joking pleasure:
"Three men are travelling down a back road and need to use the bathroom. None of them wanting to go in the woods, they see an inn up the road, and stop to quickly use their bathroom. The innkeeper gives them permission, and the first guy goes down.
As he gets in there he hears "I'm the ghost of Tiki Tinkie. I'll chop your balls and eat your weenkie." He got so scared that he jumped out the window.
The secound guy goes down and hears, "I'm the ghost of Tiki Tinkie. I'll chop your balls and eat your weenkie." He also got so scared, that he jumped out the window.
The third guy goes down and hears, "I'm the ghost of Tiki Tinkie. I'll chop your balls and eat your weenkie."
The ghost, however, heard in reply, "I'm the ghost of Christmas Past. You touch my balls, I'll kick your a**."
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Posted: Sun Sep 25, 2005 4:24 pm
Here's one of my favorites. I read it on a joke site a year or two ago. XD
One day, a bear was chasing a rabbit through the woods, trying to catch it and kill it. They happen to run past a magic toad. The toad sees them, and says, "Stop chasing each other! There's no reason for two animals to behave like this. Here, I'm a magical toad, and I will grant you each three wishes!"
The bear went first. He said, "I wish all the other bears in this forest were female!" And the toad granted his wish.
Then it was the rabbit's turn. He said, "I wish I had a helmet," and so the toad gave the rabbit a helmet.
The bear paused to think about his wish. Then he said, "I wish all the other bears in the next forest were female!" The toad granted his wish.
The rabbit said, "I wish I had a motorcycle." And the toad gave him a nice shiny red motorcycle.
By now, the bear was starting to think that the rabbit was pretty stupid. Why was he wishing for all these things, when he could just wish for money to buy them? Hmph. Well, the bear knew how to make a proper wish. "I wish all the other bears in the world were female!" The toad grants his wish.
The rabbit puts on his helmet, buckles it tightly, and climbs onto his motorcycle. He starts the engine, and just before he speeds away, he grins and says, "I wish the bear was gay."
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Posted: Sun Sep 25, 2005 4:44 pm
Heh... I feel sorry for those female bears. XD We're going to have a dying race...
::is brainless for jokes::
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Posted: Sun Sep 25, 2005 5:09 pm
xDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
That evil rabbit!
Dude, that one made me laugh, a lot, lol.
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Posted: Sun Sep 25, 2005 5:14 pm
I've heard that Bear one before.. actually I got a comic of in in a chain letter a while ago=P I might still have it.. *goes to check*
One of my favourites too, so it better the chances I have it biggrin
*shall contribute some jokes after she looks for the bear comic*
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Pyromaniacal Wave Captain
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Pyromaniacal Wave Captain
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Posted: Sun Sep 25, 2005 5:23 pm
I didn't find the comic, but I found some cool-ish optical illusions I was sent. Scroll down this message really fast. (hold the down arrow or drag the scroll bar down and it looks neat.)
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Posted: Sun Sep 25, 2005 5:25 pm
I somehow completely skipped over the tire joke. I just read it, and it took me awhile to get it...But I laughed when I did get it blaugh . And the bear and rabbit one? That was hilarious rofl . I don't know terribly many jokes...I had a friend who knew quite a few, but I have long since forgotten most of them.
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Posted: Sun Sep 25, 2005 5:27 pm
...How much gold did you get from that post, Kristy? No way am I going to quote it, but it was really cool razz
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Posted: Sun Sep 25, 2005 5:27 pm
Eh, the copy past completely messed up that illusion, it looks much much cooler in e-mail. It's all dependent on the alignment - which Gaia messes up.
Edit: Becca, I got about 20 gold biggrin
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Pyromaniacal Wave Captain
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