On a monday (not too many mondays ago) a millionaire decided to go on safari. He was rich and so he didn't care about the enviroment or the economy or what penalties he would have to pay or anything so he just went. He left without a permit, without a guide, friends, family or a look backwards. He got on his private jet with just a gun and his funny, circular hunting hat.
When he got to the wide open plains of Africa he had a poor starving African driver take him out to where the animals were for a dollar.
He complained about the flies.
After shooting a zebra, a rhinoceros and an emu he felt that he was still missing something. He wanted more COLOR in his pelts. He would leave the carcasses to rot or be eaten by hungry scavangers but the pelts were his yearning.No matter how many times the driver warned him, the man wanted to hunt the tigers.
So the driver left and the rich man set up camp.
Not far from the camp was a bush, and in the bush was a tiger and next to the tiger was another and another and another.
Now, most of the time tigers don't travel in such great numbers, but these tigers were desperate. They had all banned together because food was scarce and the only way they could get food was to work together to get very big animals.
So, seeing the man lay down, the tigers moved in. They could smell his stew, taste his wine on their tounges. Hippo is such a poor meal.
While the man slept, the tigers did not disturb him. They ate all of his food, drank all of his spirits and dragged whatever the could back to the rest of the poor hungry tigers. They even took his gun. The biggest male had a good time chewing the wood untill the gun went off, and the man was having a good dream untill it woke him up.
When he woke up, he was completly unharmed and also empty handed.
The tigers had dragged off everything he had and now he was left sitting in the middle of Africa in the dark without anything to eat or fend with.
All around him he saw eyes and heard peeps and scrapes and felt the wind....
He managed to stay the night and waited impatiently for the driver with the flies. However, the driver didn't speak much english and didn't much like the man, so he decided to wait untill tomorrow. Or maybe the next day. He could feel a cold coming on.
And the man waited the day and night getting more and more hungry and tired from being up all day and night.
After a while he fell asleep again and the tigers came back (don't ask me why the guy didn't move at all, rich people can be so dumb) and the saw the slightly moving log of flesh as so little of a threat the cubs even came by. They were darn cute too, sniffing and purring and jumping on him. And after one of the cubs jumped on him the guy startled awake and was looking directly at a three-hundred pound tiger missing a tooth.
Luckily the tigers were funny and didn't kill him, but after they ripped him arm off and leaving him to die he decided not to ever to hunt again. The driver did come the next day and the man survived the African hospital stay after three staff infections.
The whole incident actually managed to convince people (especially wimpy rich ones) not to mess too much with nature an is still credited as the main factor for the wild tiger population boom.
The man still sits in his squishy chair by the fireplace with a glass of brany each night. The only difference between this monday and those past mondays is that he's left handed now.
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