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 Posted: Wed Nov 28, 2007 2:26 pm
And Angel De Lys wins the Bitchiest MIL Award! Hazzaaah. Dude. That's so wrong.
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Posted: Thu Nov 29, 2007 8:31 am
Bloody hell, Angel, and I thought my MIL was bad!
Mine's more like an extremely spoilt child. She's manipulative, a hypochondriac, a complete b***h, and always has to get her own way.
She tried to control every aspect of our wedding ("You can't have your bridesmaids in green, it's bad luck!" "You can't have daffodills, I'm allergic to them!" "You should have a strapless wedding dress- they're more fashionable!" "You have to have a fruit cake wedding cake, or else I can't have any!" etc.) then, about a week before we were due to get married, she invited her entire church congregation of about 400 people (all complete strangers to both me and Terry) to the wedding.
Then, on the day, she threw an embarrassingly loud hissy fit because she wasn't the centre of attention, and refused to be in any more of the photographs, unless the photographer started doing everything her way. Luckily, my parents managed to placate her without too much more fuss, although I did hear my mum whisper to my dad that "...if she doesn't pack it in, I'm going to get back in that car and mow the b***h down."
Now, I just try to avoid her as much as possible- which is awkward, because my FIL's one of the nicest guys I've ever met, and I love my brother in law and sister in law to death; so I like to see them regularly.
She's constantly picking little fights with me, just to make Terry take her side (of course he never does- he's much more intimidated by a week with no sex than an arguement with his mother); she constantly insults me, my sister in law, and my brother in law's long-term girlfriend; she openly shows that she loves one of her grandsons over the other (which I think is just cruel, as it's got to the point where the three year-old notices that his Nana doesn't love him as much as his brother); and she's obviously jealous of he own daughter, because she's prettier, and never put on as much weight as she did after having her kids.
Last time we saw her was two Sundays ago, when she told my poor brother in law's girlfriend that her breasts are "disproportionately large", told me that my ears are "abnormal" and then got pissy with me for the rest of the day because I beat her at Scrabble. rolleyes
Nowhere near as bad as Angel's in-laws, but I am anxiously awaiting the day that her myriad of "life threatening" illnesses and conditions finally put her in a deep hole.
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Posted: Thu Nov 29, 2007 9:53 am
I've noticed a pattern in my family, and it generally holds true to the relationships of people I'm familiar with. And it seems to be showing up here in spades. The wife/MIL relationship is usually not a pleasant one. (not always, but way more often than not in my experience.)
My MIL treats me like her own child (my wife says better than), my father was treated wonderfully by my maternal grandparents, and my FIL was treated like a son by his in-laws. But all the corresponding wife/MIL relationships were/are not good ones. There's just something about that relationship...
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Posted: Thu Nov 29, 2007 5:50 pm
What I was noticing also, especially with every one putting in their little excerps of their MIL--that the problems with the MIL are usually on the groom's side. Not to say that I haven't seen the reverse, but from my experiences and what the movies have to offer--it's usually his mother, not hers. o.o; Perhaps there's some psychology to this that we're missing...?
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Posted: Fri Nov 30, 2007 1:02 pm
This thread makes me feel better! Story time if anyone wishes to read.
Ok so my in-laws. Where do I start? Well, I actually have four inlaws technically. My husband's parents got divorced, and then remarried. He considers all of them family members, and spent time living with his mother and stepfather and also his dad and stepmother.
So lets start out with the fact that his own father didn't even come to the wedding? He said it was because they didn't have any money. We told them when and where the wedding was going to be seven months in advance. We couldn't change the date because we already put down the payment on the reception hall (500 dollars NON refundable).
His mother and stepfather plus a lot of his stepfather's family came (his mother is adopted, and her family is scattered across the country). They were wonderful.
Then we came back to where he lives (I moved there) and..wow. Immedinately you could tell there were problems. No one really talked to me. I felt out of place, like they didn't like me.
So then we hear from his sister that his dad thinks I'm not letting him (the husband) go over there, and that I made his quit playing Everquest. What? No. I told him I wanted to play another game and if he wanted to come play with me, he could. If not that was fine. The reason why we don't go over there is because we don't have a car. They said I was weird because I always wear skirts. I'm sorry, I'll dress like a man from now on. And I'm 'clingy' because I like to hug my husband (FOR SHAAAMMMEEE!!!)
Ok so we don't go over there for months. Then we take my brother-in-laws (15 and 12, or 11 I forget...) to the movies to see the last Harry Potter movie. We spent OUR money on it and instead of a thank you I get "That movie sucked!". I wanted to hit both of them. Then they go on and on about how it didn't make sense. So we tell them to read the book. Their DAD goes "Reading sucks." Wow. Great role model!
Thanksgiving we go over there. It goes decently, no problems. I actually talked to his stepmom. Though I wanted to hit his dad after his comment about Muslim women. "You know what that dot is for? Its a target! HAHA" You aren't funny. Or his comment about the asian guy on a skateboard. "Look at the c***k on the board!" His son (my husband) is half Asian, and so is his daughter.
So yes. I guess I get along OK with my step mother-in-law. They mostly aggrivate me because of how they treat my husband, not me which is pretty strange.They didn't come to our wedding. They didn't even call him on his birthday!
Ugh. Sorry for the rant. I think its getting better though.
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Posted: Fri Nov 30, 2007 2:18 pm
[ petrosity ] What I was noticing also, especially with every one putting in their little excerps of their MIL--that the problems with the MIL are usually on the groom's side. Not to say that I haven't seen the reverse, but from my experiences and what the movies have to offer--it's usually his mother, not hers. o.o; Perhaps there's some psychology to this that we're missing...? I think that in the psychotic and manic minds of some unstable women in this world, by being in a romantic relationship with/marrying their sons, we are "taking their place". They obviously have some low self esteem and security issues that have nothing to do with us and that they don't bother to deal with. We are just the easy targets.
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Posted: Sat Dec 01, 2007 4:11 am
I honestly don't have any good advice for you because my situation is probably worse. Due to circumstances and behaviours on the part of my in-laws, I've come to the conclusion that I want nothing to do with them. They're horrible, toxic people and I refuse to allow that in my life anymore. They're son, on the other hand, still has some residual filial piety and feels bad about cutting them off completely, but he has minimized his interaction with them to avoid as much of their crap as possible. But, even still, they play him whenever they can and it's really hard to not pull the "I told you so" card since they really do do those things all the time. I feel bad for him, though, it's just not fair.
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Posted: Sat Dec 01, 2007 4:14 am
Angel de Lys [ petrosity ] What I was noticing also, especially with every one putting in their little excerps of their MIL--that the problems with the MIL are usually on the groom's side. Not to say that I haven't seen the reverse, but from my experiences and what the movies have to offer--it's usually his mother, not hers. o.o; Perhaps there's some psychology to this that we're missing...? I think that in the psychotic and manic minds of some unstable women in this world, by being in a romantic relationship with/marrying their sons, we are "taking their place". They obviously have some low self esteem and security issues that have nothing to do with us and that they don't bother to deal with. We are just the easy targets. While I do agree with that theory to a point(the movie Monster-In-Law), it's not always the case. I've seen a lot of instances where they just really are crazy, toxic people but the person just doesn't notice until an "outsider" comes in and starts pointing out behaviours and whatnot.
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Posted: Sat Dec 01, 2007 8:07 pm
Wow. I am glad I don't have that bad of a relationship with my in laws.
I would describe our relationship as innocuous with some underlying resentment and sourness.
I think they were really bad parents to him. They didn't abuse him but they were absolutely crap about raising him. They didn't care about his education at all. They spoiled his sisters rotten and now they are adults that act like children. I have no idea how he turned out so well.
I really dislike when MIL gives me parenting advice. Ever since Naomi was born she has been trying to get me to stick a pacifier in her mouth whenever she cries and I keep telling her that she does not take one. Just things like that... She ran a home daycare so she is always giving me unsolicited and medically unsound advice.
So my parents had them over for dinner the Saturday after Thanksgiving... It turns out that MIL will not TOUCH seafood. Why? As far as I know she is not allergic to shellfish. She just thinks it's "gross" and doesn't want it. She has barely ever tried any. Well, my parents are Asian and my mom spend hours making tons of different foods. They cook really healthy and made mostly fish dishes, veggies, sushi. MIL would not even touch any of it. Worst of all it made my mom feel really bad and she kept apologizing and then ran into the kitchen and made some beef kabobs for her while everyone else was eating. It made me pissed off that MIL didn't even think to mention that to them. My parents sent them an invitation almost a month and half in advance.
Sorry for the rant. They aren't as bad as some horror in-law stories I've read, but they do piss me off sometimes. I mostly bottle it up and I never confront them about it.
Oh yeah, Christmas will suck because they think their son likes Star Wars so every year for Christmas and his birthday they give him Star Wars junk. It just piles up and we hate Star Wars.
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Posted: Sat Dec 01, 2007 8:10 pm
Icky. Sorry to hear that, Gossy.
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Posted: Mon Dec 03, 2007 10:06 am
Lexia_Starr Angel de Lys [ petrosity ] What I was noticing also, especially with every one putting in their little excerps of their MIL--that the problems with the MIL are usually on the groom's side. Not to say that I haven't seen the reverse, but from my experiences and what the movies have to offer--it's usually his mother, not hers. o.o; Perhaps there's some psychology to this that we're missing...? I think that in the psychotic and manic minds of some unstable women in this world, by being in a romantic relationship with/marrying their sons, we are "taking their place". They obviously have some low self esteem and security issues that have nothing to do with us and that they don't bother to deal with. We are just the easy targets. While I do agree with that theory to a point(the movie Monster-In-Law), it's not always the case. I've seen a lot of instances where they just really are crazy, toxic people but the person just doesn't notice until an "outsider" comes in and starts pointing out behaviours and whatnot. I completely agree with that notion.
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Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 3:13 am
Well in the beginning, my husband and I were friends in high school. He took me to see his mom once where she worked because he needed something. I don't rememeber. She seemed really nice but she came on a bit strong. She was already treating me like a daughter in law and I hadn't even put 1+1 together that Mike even had a crush on me.
After Mike returned from Iraq and picked me up after my basic training and AIT graduation, I fell hard and fast. We come back to our hometown and stayed with his parents. Everything was ok but I noticed that his mom was quite the talker and she insisted that you agree with her on whatever she says. Which we did because to disagree would mean we sacrificed the entire day to argue the topic which she would most likely win anyway with the same tactic as stated above.
When we finally told them we wanted to get married, it seemed that his mom went into a panic attack saying, "Well, you guys are too young, you should wait. Save your money to have a really nice wedding." She started spouting those things off as if we were leaving that very second to get married. Later I found out that she didn't want me to marry her son before his last deployment because that would mean that if he died, I would get his money. It took me promising that I would not fight for more of his SGLI if something happened to him in Afghanistan. Even then she still made a fuss about getting married.
We decided that we would get married anyway. So, we did it privately. I'm a bit ashamed of it but if we made it public, we both knew his mother would fight it till the last moment and then cross her arms and sneer when we'd say our, "I do's" So, only my parents attended.
She found out months later and threw a fit, which was understandable but she blamed my parents for pushing us into it, which they didn't nothing of the sort. So now my family and his family will never mix.
Presently: My MIL has adopted me as her only daughter and says that we absolutely have to call her every time we're in a financial jam so that we can hear her opinion before we make any decisions o.O
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Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 10:04 pm
Wow. These are some intensely disturbing horror stories. Certainly puts my in-laws into perspective for me. smile
My husbands parents are divorced and absolutely hate each other. . .once I mentioned my MIL to my FIL's new wife and recieved a half-an-hour lecture from my FIL later on how we are never supposed to talk about the hubby's mother.
All three of them: the MIL, the FIL, and the step-MIL are all wonderful to me though! His mom comes down to the FM area sometimes just to visit and take us out for supper (which she always pays for. . .it makes me fell incredibly guilty). His father and step-mom live on a lake and are incredibly welcoming so we try and go down there every chance we get to visit them.
The only real conflict we have is attempting to balance our time between the three different sets of in-laws (his two and my parents). There always ends up being hurt feelings and parts of the family that feel left out no matter how we try to swing it. We'll figure it out one of these days though. smile
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Posted: Wed Dec 19, 2007 3:25 pm
I get along pretty well with my mother in law, for the most part. I don't agree with everything she believes in but luckily she keeps her opinions and beliefs out of our relationship. If only her daughter was like that...
My sister in law is old-fashioned, a step away from becoming Amish, really. She is, right now, in an arranged courtship (My FIL and his dad set it up) and have-get this-just been given permission to hold hands. She'll be 19 next month. She refuses to work, saying that it'll be submitting to an authority other than that of her husband or father, she gave up ballet after over 10 years of it, and refers to her boyfriend as her 'beau'. Now, all of this is quite sad, but it wouldn't be so horrible if she didn't insist on ostracizing me and my husband for not sharing her beliefs.
Honestly, it's my mom who's been the major problem in my relationship with my husband. She's gotten better with time, but when we first got together, she banned him from her house because he forgot to say hello once when we ran into her in the parking lot. He didn't even see her. The worst she does nowadays is constantly remind me how much better he's gotten, and how much he's grown up. I find this funny, because he really hasn't changed that much...she's just gotten used to him.
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Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 8:48 am
Aw, it's so sucky to hear everyone's stories: /
Thankfully, I get along with my MIL and FIL. I think they are just happy that their son is actually doing well for himself and that we lead a "normal" life....unlike in his late teens he partied and did drugs.
But yeah, I see my mom becoming a problem. She's been ok so far, but she's said some MIL things that irked me, 'specially during the wedding time. I'm trying to keep an open mind, but I know things are going to get at least a little crazy once we start having kids.
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Reply
![[ petrosity ]'s avatar](https://a1cdn.gaiaonline.com/dress-up/avatar/ava/4a/43/2c1a2c3b7434a_flip.png?t=1570095557_6.00_11)
